Eddie Takosori’s
UFO Attractor’s Handbook
Practical Advice for an Impractical Hobby
Miscellaneous Extractions
{So, lots of repeats here.}
ABOUT THIS BOOK
Talk to your shrink, talk to your doctor. Push past the limits, and there you are, talking to little green guys in your own living room. It’s easier to manifest them the second time around. In fact it keeps on getting easier and easier.
If the program is strong enough to help you see UFOs,
Then it probably can be adopted to anything (like losing 20lbs, or getting a PHd)
Some will note the lack of journal articles and scientific rigor in The UFO Attractors Handbook.
To this I reply, there is a decided lack of journal articles to cite, leading an intelligent observer to conclude that perhaps the scientific method is not the best method to use if the goal is to observe UFOs.
Qualification
This book is a work of fiction. No person, place, thing, or idea in this book is real, nor is it intended to resemble reality. Actual contact with aliens or sightings of UFOs can have extremely dire consequences including but not limited to; social ostracism, imprisonment by aliens, death by aliens, dismemberment by aliens, paranoia, post traumatic stress disorder, along with a myriad of other mental ailments including; apathy, loss of appetite, radiation poisoning, and/or especially chronic, erratic, and eccentric behavior.
The most troubling symptom, of course, is the insistence on writing your account. For purely philanthropic reasons, not for personal glory, money, or women, it’s for humanity.
Consult a physician before making any changes to medications, supplements, sleep habits, eating or exercise programs. Heck just go see a doctor, and follow the doctors advice, not the advice of some two-bit pamphlet, written by some hack who claims to have seen flying saucers.
Consult a lawyer. Nothing in this book is intended to advocate breaking any law. Obey all local, state, federal, and galactic laws. Consult an attorney for appropriate legal advice.
Do not expense your trip to Betel 9 with those honeymooners from the Serundip Nebula. It’s not a deduction. Those guys at the IRS are very serious about their taxes. They don’t like “Comedians.” Just trust me on this one. Nothing will get your return audited faster than trying to take some very reasonable and modest deductions without the appropriate receipts. Apparently Earth and Betel 9 do not have a Tax treaty. Consult a CPA or tax professional for all tax questions.
Consult the appropriate government agency or consul for all travel inquiries, restrictions, visas, and regulations. And you thought getting back into the US from Mexico was difficult. Apparently, you’ve never set foot on a Grade VI infectious planet before. Talk about a bureaucratic nightmare.
Do not alter your reality without appropriate clearance and the proper forms completed, signed, and stamped in triplicate. Or there will be consequences.
This is not a real legalese qualifier; see the appropriate qualifier for appropriate qualifications, and actual disclaimer for actual disclaimants.
This book was written prior to June of 2006, and as such enjoys protection under galactic law as a pre-assimilation artifact. Don’t believe me just look it up. Damn aliens even they make me write disclaimers.
DO NOT READ THIS BOOK STRAIGHT THROUGH
Yes, I’m so controlling, I’m going to tell you how to read my book. This is how you do it:
1) Do not read this book straight through
2) Place it by your nightstand or similar area and only read it for a few minutes every day: both before you go to sleep and after you wake up.
3) When you come to something that is incorrect or wrong, tear it out, cross it out, or correct it.
4) As you go along, add clippings from newspapers, magazines, and things you’ve downloaded from the web. Feel free to rip out pages wholesale and replace them with pages of your own creation.
5) Continue to do this -- reading, altering, removing and adding -- until the book is your own. Change the title if you like. Make a new cover. Turn it into your personal UFO seeking Bible. 6) If that last seems a bit sacrilegious or heretical, perhaps you should be starting this project with another book, because this here book is about how to see aliens, ride in UFOs, and travel to distant worlds. Though if a person wanted, it would be easy enough over time to go through and replace one destination or goal with another.
Dangerously Over-Educated.
Don’t even get me started on the sheer absurdity of taking advise from a book entitled, The UFO Attractors Handbook.
If you need more information than this; say references or journal article verification, then maybe, just maybe, you’re reading the wrong book.
Warning. Do not hold, read, or possess this book with first consulting your physician, mental health practitioner, priest, and/or councilor. Following the exercises in this manual WILL weaken your body, brain, and grasp upon the one true reality. Possession is a crime in ALL of Anthurium Space and most everywhere else. Aiding or abetting a human’s quest to escape the gravity well of Earth has been deemed a treasonous act by the Galactic Council. Thankfully, most aliens do not recognize the authority of either of these governmental bodies.
The UFO Attractors Handbook
A how to manual for increasing the odds of having an authentic Otherworldly experience. Some have Experienced UFO’s. By looking at the Where, What, When, and How of those experiences, one can formulate a plan to increase one’s own chances of having an experience. Go When the UFO’s Are.
Go Where the UFO’s Are.
How to use this book. Heck use it however you want. I hope you enjoy it. Really more to the point, what is my intent? The intent is to write an aid in changing ones life. Ostensibly that change is to introduce UFOs and Aliens into your world. This is a private journey. I can show you the door that I (and others) have taken, but you have to walk through the door. Not once, but repeatedly. I can’t open the door for you, or even exactly point it out, just sort of indicate the general direction.
How can one man force another’s eyes open without blinding them?
Want to read about UFOs, get a book.
Want to see UFOs, put down the book.
How are you supposed to learn about St Elmo’s Fire without reading a book?
Don’t take that attitude with me. You’re a smart cookie. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.
As further proof of my unsuitability as a entrepreneur, I place the sales pitch for The UFO Attractor’s Handbook here, deep in the middle of the book:
Eddie Takosori, a certifiable UFO expert reveals the inside scoop on the where, when, how, and even why of the tricky art and science of UFO ology.
“Oh, he’s certifiable,” the critics agree.
“One of a kind, unique,” pointers, techniques, and information not available anywhere else.
No where, no how, not at any price.
It’s priceless.
Certifiable, Unique, and Priceless.
But not free.
{Only, now it is...}
The UFO Attractors Handbook
Change your life. Change your reality.
If you can see UFOs, then you can do anything. Here’s the program. Here’s the guide. Here’s how. Take the step. Buy the book. Change your life.
Seeing UFOs that’s the real trick, the real thing. If you can bring UFOs into your world, you can bring anything into your life. Reach for the stars as you start your new life and create a new reality for yourself with The UFO Attractors Handbook.
If you work this program, you can do anything.
Examples sited in book come from personal experience and imagination and are not typical. Individual results may vary. If you believe Zarton 4 exists, I’ve got a time share there I’d like to sell you. Everyone knows Zartan 4 is just a place the con men of Bool’in made up. Don’t trust Con men from Bool’in. Heck, don’t trust any con man. That’s the kind of useful advice contained within the pages of The UFO Attractors Handbook.
How does one write a UFO book.
First one starts by writing everything they’ve saved up in their mind their whole life on the subject. UFOs. How to really see UFOs. So, UFOs, perception, nature of reality, which devolves into personal philosophy, etc. Some of this stuff is serious and some is not. Lets have a little levity here. We’re talking UFOs after all.
So, I use all the saved up stuff. Now, I’m looking for new stuff. Everything gets related to UFOs or at least I try. Sometimes I need to stretch a little. Others, I need to stretch a whole lot. Some of it is to be taken seriously, others not. You need to draw the line for yourself.
Then, I start trying to sell the book. Write a book jacket, an ad summary, copy for the back of the book, or a cover letter to a publisher. Or, I imagine I am at a book signing and have to explain the book in whole. Or, I’m being attacked and I need to defend the book.
Here’s a Defense
UFO
What is a UFO but an unidentified flying object. If it’s in the air, it’s flying and if we don’t know what it is, it’s unidentified. Hence, anything that’s in the air that we can’t identify is a UFO. This is the description. It’s a military category in an incident report filing system. They could have called the category miscellaneous, other, unsolved, or unexplained. They called it UFO.
If it’s in the sky and we don’t know what it is it is a UFO by definition. In the city, we go outside. We look into the sky. We see a plane. Is it a 747 or a 727. We don’t know what it is? This equals a UFO. Weenie? Sure. Is that flight 17 to Denver or flight 47 not Newport? Since we don’t know what it is, that equals UFO. So, UFOs exist. Is this a cop out? You gotta believe it.
We stay outside. It’s night. There is a light in the sky. Some guy calls it a plane. Another a light. Another plane he says. Light. Plane. Light. Plane. If light always equals plane, then we always know what it is. So when the invading Armada from Klick-it comes screaming down from the night sky in attack formation, to disguise themselves all the Klick-its are going to have to do is tape a floodlight to the front of their space ships. Another light. Another plane. He’d be wrong, but wouldn’t have his spleen long enough to care. Of course, I wouldn’t have my spleen for very much longer either. Those Klick-it Warriors are the true bad asses of the universe. But, the important thing isn’t that I’d be dead. What’s important is that I’d be right. Book sales for The UFO Attractors Handbook would go through the roof on Betel 9. And, I’d be Right.
So, we got two extremes. UFOs are everywhere and UFOs are nowhere. You pick your comfort zone, you pick your level of belief. You pick your truth and Your reality.
Don’t ask me to prove UFOs or even if I believe in them. What? You too chicken to define your own reality?
Look, Suppose their ain’t no UFOs and not a single alien out there. Not now. Not ever. It’s all a big lie. Even crazy people don’t see them. They are liars too. Cause if you allow for crazy people seeing them, I got lots of stuff in here, that if you follow, your well defined reality will start to melt and ooze away. But, what if they are all liars? What then?
I mean if you follow the program, and there just ain’t no UFOs or aliens, What have you lost? What would it matter?
If you’re average, typical, and you followed my program for just one year. Then What? Well, Maybe:
You’d watch 100-200-1000 hours less TV.
Read 50-100 less books.
Gone for over 500 walks.
Started Meditating.
Done Dream work.
Explored new areas in your community.
And learned how to make many-many things a reality in your corner of the universe.
You might have even learned how to laugh, maybe even at yourself a little.
OK. Maybe you won’t see a UFO. Lightning doesn’t strike everyone. You might never see a UFO. The aliens might never invite you to dinner. But you would’ve;
Taken a cross country trip, slept under the stars, learned about astronomy and meteorology, and met lots and lost and lots of new people, and had some really mind altering conversations with them.
I can’t guarantee the destination, but this is the best guidebook I can write to show you how to take one hell of a trip. Buckle up, hang on, and enjoy the ride.
The Come On, Again
ain't it all a come on...
Bored with your Tuesday Night? Watching TV or reading again not doing it for you? Try UFO Watching.
Friday night the bar closes. The Weekend has just begun. What to do? Try UFO watching.
Join the millions of Americans who have already found the ideal hobby, that’s right, UFO watching. But how to begin? Where to go? What to do? Isn’t it dangerous? And, the ever popular, How do we avoid those probes?
All excellent questions. Until now there was no concise easy to reference guide for this rapidly growing hobby. Thankfully, The UFO Attractors Handbook fills this void.
Written by Eddie Takosori, eminent UFOologist and retired field operative for the CIDC.
Find out what they don’t want you to know.
Alter your life, change your destiny, choose your reality.
The UFO Attractors Handbook gives you the knowledge and guidance to effect a total and complete lifestyle make over. If plots your course through the changes you need to make to shatter the bonds of reality.
Put simply, some people have witnessed UFOs and made contact with aliens. Want that sort of Experience? Well you can. Forget what you know and let The UFO Attractors Handbook take charge and walk you through the changes required for a whole new reality.
The universe is waiting.
Cleverly disguised as a work of humor, The UFO Attractors Handbook, is a total lifestyle makeover program.
Follow the steps, make room for UFO’s in your life, and watch a whole universe of possibilities open up. Quite literally the sky’s the limit.
Actual results will vary.
Eddie Takosori’s Experiences are not typical. His affiliation with the CIDC has neither been confirmed nor denied by either Mr Takosori or the CIDC.
Life Wasn’t meant to be this boring.
Change. Now.
With The UFO Attractors Handbook.
100% unconditional money back guarantee
This Book comes with a 100% unconditional money back guarantee, Limited, oh yeah baby, limited to the conditional and terms of the bookseller where you bought the book. It also comes with a complete warranty of materials and workmanship. So if within the warranty period as stated above and explained below, the writing falls off the pages of this book you could get a new book. You know assuming you bought the book from a reputable dealer and not some fly by night place, or one of those used books stores. You know those used book stores where they reuse books, horrid-horrid concept. They have it in for authors you know. And as a reader, you just don’t know where that book has been. Better to buy new. That way it comes with a guarantee and everybody is getting their royalty.
So, about that guarantee, if you buy the book new, from a place that has a guarantee, then you’d have a guarantee, and if the writing falls off the pages, and it wasn’t because of misuse, neglect, or contact with aliens technologies, We definitely will not cover damages by alien technologies, or acts of god, and between you and me, what is not an act of god. Anyway if the writing falls off the pages we would be pretty sure that one of those uncovered thingies had happened, so I guess if the writing fell off the pages it would pretty much be your fault and out of warranty, but hey what a story to tell.
Still, if you bought the book from a reputable NEW book seller, and not a disreputable used book seller (nasty sort) and you can convince the book seller to give you a new book, THEN I Guarantee 100%, that that’s the only guarantee that comes with this book. And that’s a 100% unconditional guarantee.
You can take that to the bank.
Though for the life of me, I don’t know what you would do with it there.
In truth, I’ve already more or less written what I set out to write. Heck, I wrote ten times what I set out to write maybe more. It started in conception as a 100 page book of airy empty pages. First page would have a simple sketch of a UFO and the facing page would have the title and tag line, The UFO Attractors Handbook, Practical Advise for an Impractical Hobby. Two pages down. 98 to go. A typical set of pages would be the simple picture again, like of a flashlight, and then opposite: Get a Pen Light. Carry it with you at all times. Several times a day, and whenever you suspect UFO activity, check to insure the light works. Faulty electronics are classically associated with UFO’s. And, so on.
Not much writing. Believe it or not, books make money based on sales volume, not quality or words. So, why hassle a big word count. Pound it out fast. But, then I got carried away, started telling stories, and thinking the original concept might be a bit light. And, this is what we ended up with. But, what are the big 5? It’s a good number. Small, easy to manage. What are the most important 5 suggestions, or whatever you want to call them, for attracting UFO’s.
See, we could have stayed on the other page {paragraph, whatver}, but we didn’t. We started a new one. It gives ya time to think, and soak it all in. Has absolutely nothing to do with padding the book.
Besides, what a sense of accomplishment. That’s like what, three pages in half a minute.
You must be some kind of speed-reader.
You’re the man, or woman, or some freaky alien I suppose.
But clearly, I digress.
There are two types of great books
That which engages you completely, reality dissolves, and you enter the world of the writer;
And that which encourages you to put down the book, regard reality, and go forth with your life.
With any luck this is the latter.
For, when there is nothing else to read, nothing else to write, then you are enlightened.
UFO Attractor Handbook 2nd Ed
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Eddie Takosori’s
UFO Attractor’s Handbook
Practical Advice for an Impractical Hobby
© 2008 Copyright Brett Paufler