The Diary Project


What did the month hold?

Don't ask me, as I can no longer remember.

I guess that's why I write it all down.

Posterized (limited palette) image of the high tension wires I find myself looking at and taking pictures of quite a bit


RUNE: Pocket Watch. It's big and heavy. I doubt it will stay in my pocket very long. I may have to grab a different one for my Travelling Pants.

RUNE: Swim Token. Travelling Pants... well, shorts.

CIV: Gold Rush

A relationship that can't take the truth isn't much of a relationship.

"The Star Trek Appreciation Society of This Place. STOTCP. It spells Spock... if you're really-really bad at spelling."

"No, Billy. This will not be on the midterm," Mr English berates (very Un-Mr-English-like, I might add), as the bell rings and he yells after the departing students (all but one, who waits patiently by his side, eyes looking up, adoringly, taking in all her Teacher has to say), "But it will be on The Take Home Test Called Life." And then, to his darling, "Remember that Victoria," which she will.

EYES: I Can See Tonight! Eh, all is relative.

Control The Center.
Don't Double-Up Pawns (i.e. only one per row).
Flanking Is A Thing.
Pawns Matter.
Position Matters.
Double-Up Attacks (serially or in parallel: also known as forking)
Castle To Your Strong Side
Castle Yo Your Opponent's Weak Side.
Run The King: Check! Check! Check!
Offense: Your Move Decides Theirs.
Defense: Their Move Decides Yours.
Beginner: I only have so many pieces to lose.
Expert: They only have so many pieces to lose.

Per last month's Uncountable Infinity: by diagonal, I mean in a Tower of Hanoi type way. Yeah, it's cumbersome. But no more cumbersome than counting to Infinity, in the first place.

In the end (or at rock bottom), I find most math (or at least, a lot of math) to be as weak at the knees {as the above, most certainly, is}.

Utility is all the proof any math needs.

I don't trust myself. Fundamentally, I don't believe me. I am too wishy-washy. I don't follow through. So, what I say now has little bearing. Sorry.

Daydreaming (and for now, it is just a Daydream) of a New Luxurious Couch. I see myself sitting on the right side, but laying with my head on/by the left side-arm.

EYES: Blind Days? Blind Hours? I'm thinking about using a blindfold to gain experience while I can still see, so as to use vision as a Learning Aid to Blindness.

Odd how Teaching Aid seems stronger (more effective) than Learning Aid.

EYES: Braille Playing Cards. I would want them to look cool, as well. It's an idea.

I love Everyone Equally
And Hate You All The Same

Now, that's a bit of verse to be proud and boastful about.

OM: Sometimes, it seems, I have no thoughts, worries, or desires. This is centered in my chest.

Is Law Anger Based? Is The Rule of Law little more than The Powers That Be punishing (i.e. exacting revenge) on those who annoy them. Of course, exacting revenge may not be the appropriate phrase. Likely, preventing a recurrence is the operative motivation.

DREAM: I cannot remember saying much. But those around me talked... and talked... and talked. And I listened.

If I were a Viking, I would have sailed away on My Father's Funeral Pyre. Who knows where, when, or (indeed) if I would have ever set the lot on fire.

I need a crow... or a raven.

TALK: Repairing The Node.

DREAM: This morning's Dream Sequence seemed like it lasted about an hour; and excluding Lucid Dreams, which really are in a separate Qualitative Class, was about The Best Dream (longest and most banally interesting) I've ever had. Dream doesn't really cut it. So, Dream Sequence it is.

Porn became free because There is no honour amongst thieves.

"Yes. Even to one's enemies... especially to one's enemies."

Poli-Geek: Political Science Geek, News Geek. See Also: Sport Nerd and/or Comic Book Geek.

"Oh, I see what's wrong. I don't have enough cabinet doors open."

"It is correct. On top of everything else, I abuse Chewable Children's Vitamins."

MEDIA: The Jesus and Mary Chain - Head On. It's Number #1 in rotation, right now.

MEDIA: Bay City Rollers - Saturday Night. Number #2.

RUNE: 1965 Birth Year Quarter w/ pleasingly intense discoloration backed by high-definition {relief}. This may have been acquired in the final days before the pandemic. It was not in The Rune Box; but rather, next too. Now it is in. Well, it's in my pocket, right now. But after that, it's in.

EYES: Against a bright light (in the distance, in an otherwise darkened room), I can focus on the interior of my Eyeballs. It's pretty cool: floating goop and stuff, swirling protoplasm.

"Water. Or what my people call pinko-pinko tako."

Professor/Fellow (Mr English, Victoria) → Captain/Mate (Cassidy & Commander) & Dragon/Djinn (My Liege, The Dark Lord, and The Dragon, along with Melody)

The foregoing being the layers in a story (i.e. the setting): Ivy Campus (small, select, inner city), Pirate Ship (at Helm, at Sea, in Storm, wind spirits working the sails), Fantasy World

If I knew her counterpart, I could have Daphne/Daffy/Melody (DDM) look in {from above, as the author layer, see Trent below}.

Goal (at each layer): Write Story → Married → Fantasy Quest (Honour & Hedonism [good for others, fun for self])

The Quest is finding a safe port (and or fortified castle) in which to weather the storm.

I believe this completely outlines a story, given that I will be filling in the details with that (be it fact or fiction) which is already known.

{Trent & Melody → Mr English & Victoria → Dragon & Wind

At the first layer, he wants to write a book; at the second, get married and/or move in together; while in the third, it is find a port.

Trent: Write Book
Mr English: Get Married
Dragon: Find Port

And there, we have the story. Though, purists might note that the goals, dreams, and desires of the female counterparts have been left blank.}

FOOD: Oatmeal w/ Dates feeds My Sweet Tooth, at the moment.

DREAM: I was giving a sermon in a packed oversized church. I really need to let The Entities talk more.

How does one depict Aphrodite without annoying Venus while still maintaining Mars' interest?

It's hot enough, my feet start to sweat (inside my shoes) after hitting the pavement for only a few seconds.

Electric Blue Lightning!

Green, too!


DREAM: The Mountain was not friendly. I awoke apprehensive and scared. People were dying. A snake-like plant vine snare got one. A truck looped around, jumped off the cliff above, and came right at me; but veered so as not to hit me at the last minute. It's a bad description. I'm walking. Truck loops up off road towards other guy. Flips back. Jumps off overhang at me. Veers off. Suicide. Too close. Then in truck (one of those magical transitions), driver almost (well, not really, but I was spooked) crashes as his attention is diverted to eating the burnt brownies.

DREAM: Earlier. Same one. Walk through forest with dogs. Doing tricks. Rolling dice. All sorts of number rules. Dog runs off after ball. Not good. This is when things go sour.

Instance is to Class (I may need a shorthand for this) as Agent Based Modelling is to Calculus.

"Do you have to go to the bathroom or may you?"

EYES: I am endeavouring to type much more by touch. I'm weak on numbers, specials, and the odd letter at times. It's in anticipation.

EYES: Speaking of which, I'm wondering if it's time for me to make friends with a set of Braille Playing Cards.

The Sixth Street Underground Bar & Grille: Sleaze Bar, Cocktail Waitress, Strip Joint (all [], per Kevin's preferred syntax {parse that flesh-brain}). Welcome to the world of The Sick. This is where Melody worked and where what's his name (maybe Calvin: leading to Cal, Vin, Vinny, and Coolidge, as his personal side monikers {thus, not Trent}) met her. It's as straight laced or seedy as you like (Private Rooms, Either/Or, and/or Both). Oh, the entire reason I started this note: Over the door (side mount, entry), there is a Six Legged Neon Sign: Multi-Colored, Stocking, Sexy, Garish, but Unobtrusive: ala CIV's Broadway Movie, which is a complete reference, just change from sexy-girl to tentacle cluster, from which dangle appropriate items of fancy: Six-Way High-Heels (in the original) and/or Plain Tentacles... and now, it's a full On Anthropomorphic Squid Girl in Chorus Girl Duds.

The Mind Varies!

At the end of which (meeting, date, reunion), she (Melody) said, "You should write that down. It'd make a great story."


No one chooses The Path. The Path chooses you.

OM: A willingness to follow the insanity of thought wherever it might lead.

OM: Welcome All Ye Entities!

YOLI = YOLF = YOL∞ {infinity, forever}

I'm done following thoughts. Let's follow feelings, for awhile... and see how far we can fall.

Beer is to Cider as Kombucha is to Soda Pop.

FOOD: Honey. I find myself eating that old crystalline stuff straight.

FOOD: A load of cookies, granola, and cereal is expected tomorrow, pushing {the time when this becomes} a Full Keto Household back that much further.

I hate it when I step down on my clothes {particularly my underwear}, while putting them on.

EYES: Purple Haze!

DREAM: Mucking about in The Headquarters / Main Temple of some Secret Society / Fraternal Brotherhood. I got ribs at the restaurant while The Meeting was in session.

REPEAT: Hollywood is full of people pretending to be human.

AGAIN: I'd rather trust the voices in my head.

Go Entities!

Team Entity!

DREAM: I had Train Ticket #1 (for Seat #1). I could have sat anywhere and wound up in steerage. I take an amazing number of Train Rides {in The Dream World}. I'm fairly convinced I'm Tracing Neural Networks and Informational Flows in my brain. {And boarding a train is a wonderful metaphor for travelling to a different part of the brain.}

DREAM: Supper on the ship was outstanding. I was afraid of becoming full. So, I did not want to take the extras, but should have.

Sorry for all the teasing. On the other hand, F!U!, you worthless piece of ship.

Work pushes out worry... for the duration, at least.

Dance Party!

OM: My only Dream (goal and or ambition, left in this life) ain't Real... and has a lot more to do with The Dancing Colours, Swirling Images, and Beckoning Visions to be found Behind Closed Eyes.

In regards to Heaven, maybe I'm good enough as I am; but then, even I don't believe/think that, so how can it be?

EYES: Ironic, I'm going blind and my perception of Heaven is to be found in Fading Visual Delight.

# # #

This is The Opening Parentheses.

# # #

There will not be a Closing Parenthesis... for almost anything.

# # #

Death Takes A Holiday... Or in our case, buys a home.

Sauntering to The Toddling Part of Town

"I know them. I don't necessarily hate them." Truer words were never spoken.

More so than loving (another), I learned how not to get yelled at. But let's face it, I should have concentrated more on the former.

Whisper Man, "I live at the edge. By comparison, a girlfriend would be a vacation."


Zephyr: Wind Dragon

MEDIA: Arrested Development. Deep in Season Two, this might be the only mention.

When it comes to morality, I'm pretty used to folks getting The Rank Ordering (of Evil) wrong. Though, one wonders if there is a Rank Ordering, at all: Evil being Evil, after all.

LEGO: Castle! It's Picture Time! I think I am done.

Words w/o Spirit or Emotion have No Meaning.

To be of Completely Good Intent for a single moment is all it takes and more than most can muster, as it would require Complete Belief in a Beyond.

Somewhere along the line, I fell out of love with myself.

There is no we in family.

I like my mind better than the real world.

I Cried Wolf! and was ignored. It makes for an entirely different story.

DREAM: Somehow, I became convinced that if I did not move or talk, they would not be able to see me. And it worked.

I imagine a lot of Christians treat other humans like vampires, using a cross to keep them at bay.

In Game v Meta
The Real v The Mind

Is Snape Evil?
Yes. Mean. Wears black. Death Eater, duh.
No. Dean of Discipline. Redeems Self.
If he is evil, surely this label must spread to Hogwarts, his employer.

Lying is my middle name.

I would not call Snape bad nor would I call him good. But then, this really isn't a dimension I tend to split characters into. And I certainly don't consider Harry to be good.

Women and Children First: The codified abandonment of men. "Well, OK. Good luck with that."

DREAM: Post Dream. Awake. Watching The Dream Visions. The Endless Parade of Improbable Sights built from The Mundane.

Quantum Mechanics:
1: Things can only be split so far. There is a smallest size to everything. So, is there a largest size?
2: Not all measurable dimensions have values at all times: i.e. Sometimes The Size is NAN (Not A Number) or does not exist. This poses no problem to the universe. As light is composed of interweaving electro-magnetic charge, all dimensions interweave.
3: Determinism Fails. Math is Stochastic, not Deterministic. The same thing will yield different results. Hence (Ha-Ha), The Universe is insane (doing the same thing, expecting and getting different results).

DREAM: It is my Intent (Dream, Desire) to Salute (Greet, Laugh, Play, and/or Interact with) The Entities on Their Own Terms, in Their Own Way.

Most Utopias are depicted static in form. But let us Hypothesize that a True Utopia need be Dynamic by Design & Designed to be Dynamic.

Welcome to The Court's of Chaos!

Who is in charge? Rabbit Mind or Real Mind?

Natural History Museum Exhibit that explores The City by Day, but is sure to return to Guaranteed Institutional Security by Night. Crime. Night Zombies. Whatever. Other Exhibits may work The Nightclub Circuit in reverse. "Part! Day!"

We know Snape was Evil because he was not (and in fact, could never be) redeemed, as he failed to find life in a Post Valdomort World... on account of his type being inherited from Valdomort. Snape's Kind (by definition) is not allowed into The Promised Land.

Hourly Room Rental: Think of it as a Bordello where you bring your own Whore... er, I mean, Date.

Resolution is no closer. But then, there will be no resolution. So, we are as close as ever.

Bad News? Or is it Good? What do I really feel.

MEDIA: Arrested Development. Having finished the original three series, I have absolutely no hope the continuation will be any good. {It was not.}

The line between playing and fighting is one of perception.

It's a little game I like to call Hide & Seek.

Of course, I no longer wish to be found.

One can sharpen their sword {i.e. practice fighting} with either friends or enemies.

A Caveman's Soul was in their Heart. And I barely have one.

Oh, hey. I sort of felt like An Entity communicated with me (primally and briefly), earlier today. Let's call him Rough Housing. Are we Playing or Fighting? Fighting is play for a Dominating Victor. This guy was fun: soft, playful, full of good humor. To be able to swat away the blow is the desire.

He needs a better name, of course. Though, in truth, it's questionable my need to see this particular guy ever again.

Monochromatic. Pacing Man Ghost Like. Humanoid Dough Boy. Eager Punching Bag, confident in its ability to End It. In control of self. Well, yes. There is an easier way to say that: Self Control.

FEEL: Oat Toasties!

Dishonour is Dishonour.
But not all acts of Dishonour are equal.

The previous was placed in the wrong file a few days back.

MEDIA: 30 Rock. Strong Start.

Does Death have any meaning to My Mental Sub-Processes? Well, to one or two (who concern themselves with such things), it must. But the others?

I want a more concise term for Mental Sub-Process. Entity is imbibed with too much otherness.

SUNSET: Pre-Storm! Pretty Cool!

"It's been an upside-downside topsy-turvy world ever since gas creeped above forty-nine centometos a gallerino, as we like to say. I blame the revenuers, myself. But then, I've been told I have have a mite particular sensibility about that."

That's what losing looks like. Man, it sounds grim. But then, no. That's just a power vacumn being filled. Sorry, it went that way. I am tempted to blame a lack of honour. But then, it's always a lack of honour, all sides, all ways, all the time.

My level of ignorance and unconcern is... exactly as I would have it, almost complete.

I'm sick of being worried about nothing.

I hurt my left thumb towards the base: a push, pull, or sprain. Not too bad. But annoying. It's lasted for over a week, now. I make the note primarily as I wonder what this would mean in my old palmistry system: past, historical, personality adjustment, at (no, from) the core?

DREAM: "I would bet My Soul, The Universe is a Non-Cohesive Structure." Dynamic Untruths were intended.

Stochastic Math: Picks The Best Solution from an Infinite Variety of (i.e. All Possible & Impossible) Symbolic Logics.

OM: And then, one day, you are falling out-of rather than in-to yourself. I am talking (quite mischievously) of The Other, Beyond. Oneself?

The Uber Man (aka?: pseudo or synonym required) has greater control of his un/consciousness.

DREAM: I had the pleasure of watching myself enter The Dream State, last night. Cells of Opportunity Coalescing into The Moment, becoming The All of Now.

MEDIA: Die Antwoord - Enter The Ninja. Awesome. So Worthy of Mention. I Fink U Freaky. Yes, please. More.

Speaking of which...

MEDIA: 30 Rock 'Season Two. I avoided for years. I think I was expecting West Wing. But I got Third Rock, which is odd as the association (30 Rock - Third Rock) had always been that Third was the funny {and/or funnier} one.

Whisper Yell Man, "You have not yet let me down for the first time."

MEDIA: Crypton & Sefa - Nobody Knows. It took me a few weeks (a few days back, as this entry is in arrears) to remember the name of this song.

So F'ing Bored
This World...
It's Killing Me

MEDIA: SKYND. Now, that's Death Metal.

Death Metal is some creepy-s hit. It will weird you out. Might just want to stay away.

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