The Diary Project

2021
September

It's over?

Well, I guess that means it's time to wake up...

Full Length Shot of myself in shadow with manicured grass as the background Selfie (and preceeding Shadow Work) shot in Far Park on one of my frequent and/or many walks.  I tend to wear the same clothes over and over, hand washing as appropriate.  So, this shirt (with variable beard and hair length) is basically how I looked all summer.  I am not bothering to smile much anymore, only in greeting, though, I may wish to change that, again for social engineering reasons. as per previous by same name

When it is time to Make Note, Journal Entries such as this are where such notes (certainly of the miscellaneous variety) tend to land. Numerous disclaimers, explanations, and limitations regarding such notes (and everything else to be found on this site) are scattered about and may or may not apply to any one word, phrase, statement, entry, or page at my choosing in a Dealer's Choice Mix 'n Match sort of way. Thus (and in short), READER BEWARE. Truth is an irrelevant concept.

Autumn: Literally, A Time for Turning to Gold.

Honour is The Highest Ideal. Honour is another name for The Highest Ideal.


The Basic (Non-Dimensionalized) Type Value for The Universe is Maybe Just an Integer.

And some of the more interesting Mathematical Operators use Stochastic Methods.


FOOD: Macaroons. The sweet smell, thereof, baking away.


WORD: I wonder if I should start some sort of word# project (aka glossary project), in which I Rate & Berate certain words. I, likely, don't care that much. But if I/we did, what sort of syntax would we use?

pink: 3, soft, weak
macho: 2, has more effeminate undertones than one might imagine, "overcompensating anyone?"

But any such syntax won't last, fated to change as quickly as did/does the mind which strove (however glibly) to assign such values in the first place.

So, that is an interesting question. Is there a Word Game I (who is we, together as one in unity) wish to play?


SORT (incoming): I got myself a Milk Crate full of Macaroni & Cheese... standard size boxes (call it two dozen, various brands). I'll have to unbox and (re)store carefully, lest any of that feeling of dampness underscores bigger concerns (like rot or insects). But the stuff looks pretty clean.

A-I- CAT & --MA KITTY

{ACID Cat
MDMA Kitty}

As to C-19 (Covid, don't you know), do you think The Martians watched War of The Worlds and came up with an appropriate counter-attack?

Has God ever met Other? Is Mankind His attempt?

Does Consciousness/Awareness imply/prove Anything?

LEGO: How many distinct (non-rotationally equivalent) shapes can two LEGO's form (assuming ninety-degree joints).
2x4-2x4: 3x7
2x4-4x2: 5x5
Less rotations, means less a lesser half.
1 + (21-1)/2 = 11
1 + (25-1)/2 = 13
Thus, 24 possible combinations exist.
And now (since it's an odd numbered problem), I'll just flip to the back of the book and check to see if my answer is correct.

{I am no longer as confident in my work as I once was. But I will not be walking through the computation again.}

Covid, Allergies, or Depression? Why not all three?

No-Not: !!

Are adults just better at playing in their heads? Do children simply need to externalize more?

What I wish to do is stand in the sun. But imagining standing in the sun seems good enough. I'm not compelled to close the distance any further than that.

FOOD: Mac 'n Cheese. 1 Cup Noodles. 2 Cups Milk. 1 Cheese Packet. In Toaster Oven at 350° for 1 Hour covered in Slotted Tinfoil. I may or may not wish to start a note file for the (soon to be) forthcoming pasta dishes.

{I am not impressed with the results from any of my numerous attempts at Toaster Oven Pasta.}

DREAM: I was trying to practice envisioning (i.e. getting a vision of) Streams last night. And I had at least two fading Dreams of Lakes or Oceans: an aerial view with a hole sort of closing in the sky, after which both movement (the lapping of waves, etc) and The Vision faded.

16x16: Si Sigyl. Five Legged Squinting Squid.

OM: Yes. Please.

EYES: For Crap.

In The Year 2121, The World has fallen into a Dark Post Apocalyptic Future wherein Missionary Tribes of Vaxers rule the dust filled plains, terrorizing Those Who Would Resist The Scourge In Their Own Way.

A Universe which adheres to a logic is by definition more constrained than one which does not.


π is a relationship (the transform from square to circle) and not a scalar. The number 3.14... is accurate only so long as the sequence continues. Thus, no finite sequence (and thus, no sequence) of Integers can encompass the totality of π.

The transform from Circle-to-Circle and Square-to-Square are both One (i.e. [1]).

Thus, The Numeric Representation of Pi is One in Base Pi: π = 1π


i: /code often means /math or /logic

i: Annotation for AI. Decode Hint. Meta. So Meta.


Is there a Halting Problem (a problem, which does not halt) which is not (implicitly) a Command to Execute Infinity... as ordering to memory (and/or to I/O or store) an Infinite Dataset (or any Non-Ending Number) must surely be.

Yes. Surely. Obviously.

But π = 1π, implies x = 1x for all x.

Thus, many Halting Problems are Syntax (and not problem) Specific.


Any Program of Finite Length (whose code may be stated as a finite number of discrete computational operations: i.e. any program which contains no infinite loops or endless regressions) whose Input is Finite WILL Exit with Finite Output in a Finite Amount of Time.

Always & Forever!


It is always the introduction of some Infinity which forecloses the possibility of closure (i.e. the termination of computation); and as such, the introduction of a Possible Infinity introduces the possibility of a non-terminal computation.

In other words, a do while (loop) that {possibly} never ends {possibly} injects Infinity into the equation; and since Infinity is not instantiatable, the program {possibly} never halts (wherein the {optional possibility} is consistently present or absent throughout this statement).


I assume, Turing's Computer is a Generalized Instantiation of Peano Arithmetic, which I further assume consists of two operators: i++ and ==.


If Z- equals the range [0, ∞), then F(Z-→Z-) always Halts if The Worst Case Expansion of F's Code is Finite: i.e. the code contains no Implicit Infinities.

DREAM: Temple Grounds... sort of. It was at the top of a mountain; up which, I was biking.

Both sides are the same side of the coin. The one without the other is paper thin and (just like fiat money) meaningless.


MEDIA: American Gods - Season Three. When I'm sick or under the weather, I am prone to Brain Fog and any story telling suffers. Herein, The Brain Fog is palpable. In fact, the story telling is so thin, I can hear the characters speaking in slow-motion... so as to draw each scene out that much longer. Please see the later seasons of Mr Robot for similar emptiness. It is unlikely there will be (based on the Lakeside Story Line) another season; or at least, that we will watch.

{Let us be honest, if there is another season of either Mr Robot or American Gods, we will watch both. But upon reboot, my expectations will be low... quite low.}

Calvin: Story
Mr English: Marriage
Dragon: Port

It's a similar sort of thinness.

My solution? Bring the thinness to the surface and concentrate on other matters... whatever they might be, whatever the story is actually to be {and as of this moment has yet to be decided to be} about.

Also, when I read the book (audio version, back in the days of The Silver Leopard: an automobile), I skipped the last quarter/third of the book (jumping ahead to the start of the last chapter) and found The Lakeside Sub-Plot to be amazingly stupid. But you know, that may have something to do with how much I skipped... or how stupid and empty said plot is. I mean, the idea has potential, just not as I read it.

And with that, I will mention that I feel the plot to Ender's Game (or is it, Ender's Gambit) could be improved by intermixing that story with the crowd scenes from Basshunter's DotA video.


Extreme Nausea cured by chugging water. Um. Got me {as to the cause}? {Too much salt all at once being the leading theory.}

For American Gods (or really, some series like it in the future), I should do a point-by-point deconstruction describing what is wrong with the show: inconsistencies, irrationalities, and other logical disconnects. Basically, the heckling that is espoused by yours truly at runtime.

I Love Fall!

It's Acorn Season!
Ah, that accounts for all the squirrel activity I've noted in the past few days.
I hear them falling... that is to say, hitting leafs on the way down and landing.

DAYDREAM: I shot Eighteen Consecutive Holes in One at The US Open. There was Thunder & Lightning in applause.

EYES/OM (Now, there's a tag): I cannot express how easy it is for me to sit (or lay) with my eyes closed doing nothing {for long stretches of time}.

Grow Acorn? Shall I? If so, how?

{I really missed my opportunity for this. The one day, the acorns were falling. And the next time I bothered to look, the grass had already been mowed, making discovery of good acorns that much more difficult.}

MEDIA: Planes, Trains, & Automobiles

Without YOLO there is no FOMO.

MEDIA: Norm MacDonald Has A Show

MEDIA: Die Antwoord is really hitting the spot for me.

Everybody has their breaking point. That was mine.

TALK (well, text): Nonsense at its Second Rate Finest.

When the truth is a lie, ya got to lie to tell the truth.

TALK: Oh, yeah. We are still on that.

Why be learning when you could be earning?


Whisper-Yell Man(?), "It's going to take more than the cure for The Common Cold for me to Willingly Inject Sentient Nano-Robots into My Bloodstream."

/than a cold
/Nano-Machines

More Of A Grifter (so, Griff, who I envision as some sort of near robotic Cyborg Robot Cowboy, "Do I not bleed? Does My Composite Cathode-Ray Cylinder not contain Life Giving Plasma?"), "I ain't phrick-phrack-or-phrucking Injecting any Sentient phracking Nano-Phruck-Face-Machine-Robot-Zits into MY phricking Blood Stream... leastwise, not until I know what's in it for me."


What's closer to the truth is that you could yell "Fire!" in a crowded theater and everyone would think it was part of the show.

Two Cats: a Hairball and a Spare.

Best to give the slaves something to do.

MEDIA: Michelle Alexander - The New Jim Crow. Solid. Superb. Wouldn't you have liked to give that speech forty years ago as a bit of historical prediction?

LEGO: Childhood House. The basement is done. And I am working on the flooring. I now know why the basement leaked where it did... or have some guess. A wonderful project for me.

Without forgiveness, there is nothing.


I did not get what I needed.
So, I am not trying anymore.
And I am not asking anymore.
But then, I did not get what I needed.
So, I am not trying anymore.
And I am not asking anymore.


Our love is so strong...
and enduring,
I do not care if I walk away...
or ever see you again.


I did not get what I need.
I'm done asking.
I'm done trying.


Broken Branch! What a shame.

MEDIA: Die Antwoord. Awesome. In a class by themselves.
MEDIA: Bloodhound Gang. An Intelligent Choice.

Nobody is who they are.

DREAM: It was almost like two flies were caught on the wrong side of my fovea, as the dream world closed, tossing and turning, eventually merging as one. Yesterday, flies in a movie and maggots in the trash. But the catty {?: darn you, autocorrect} of the moment is much more important.

SUNSET: Best In Awhile!


Remember, it's never too late to hit rock bottom.

To which My Sweetie replied, "The sooner the better, I say."

{Is this a correct attribution? I do not know. But I shall let it fly.}


REPEAT: By the logic of Schroedinger's Cat, only Universes which contain intelligent life can exist. The others never resolve.

WALK: The dolls are still there. The TV is not.

Our relationship is in the toilet. And typically, I have no desire to reach down in there {and drag anything out}.


What sets me apart from most humans is not that I am a Psychopath; but that, I know I am a Psychopath.

Also, your/my definition of Psychopath is misleading and erroneous.


I've got a [ROGER & OUT] all loaded and ready to go.

OM: The less you are, the more you can be.

DREAM: I ran a pretty cool LARPing Session in a Hotel Room. Only two clues... and highlights of The Next Episode (a few days later) racing to a town a wee bit over. I doubt I will be able to remember the clues: Water on a T-shirt (my handiwork) revealing a phrase and... ? Still. Cool Guys! Hope We Do It Again!

DREAM: Yesterday, complicated Board Game. Sort of like RISK (or more likely, War Hammer) on Semi-Intricate Maps, different for each Campaign/Session. I was watching. But upon waking, I started rolling incrementally more dice (3, 5, 50, 500?) for The Dragon that was to be born a few turns later.


Come On Entities!
Be My Friends!
Let's Play Games!


God. Others. Self. I am God (a part thereof). You are God. I love myself. I love God. God loves you. You are God. God loves you. Love others as myself.

Fractured. Sure. But clear enough.

Description & Proscription


DEPRESSION: Somewhere along the line, rather than get angry, I have decided to shut it all down. I have maxed-out terminal rage and am opting for the opposite tactic: nothing... nothing at all.

Auto-Complete suggests "nothingness". Auto-Complete knows what it is talking about.

DEPRESSION: Mild Depression has notched up to Medium. I can maintain (dishes, bills, whatever). But (for the most) only what I have to. I expect a transition from for the most into only to be my best indicator of Worsening Symptoms.

DEPRESSION: The opposite (or complete absence) of adrenaline has taken over my body; but it feels more like (the hormonal) opposite, as it washes over me in waves. Oddly, I enjoy The Hormonal Flow (ripples, convulsions, and waves). Meaning, I am not devoid of happiness; but rather, Energy, Will, & Effort. Standing? Yeah, I think I'll lean. Eh, maybe, I should sit down before I topple over.

DEPRESSION: Tears w/o Sadness. It's a lie. But also, pretty darn close. How about Tears as a way of life, having forgotten the reason why?

OM: Meditation is the perfect Add-On Activity for a Depressed State of Mind. What else is in there? Fine. What's in there?

Depression is the danger, now; anger, a fading memory.

Let us assume this is an Open Tag (no need to endlessly reiterate): Depression! Depression! Depression!


MEDIA: Bowling For Columbine.

MEDIA: We just whipped through Sex Education. The full gamut of T&A. What's not to like?

"LEGO Emergency!" or was it "LEGO Alert!" I dropped an unknown quantity (2+). It's not the type of thing I want to step on... or lose.

Whisper-Yell Man, "The Devil ain't ever bought a soul that wasn't for sale."

Yoga: Sustainable Nothingness.

RUNE: Translucent Fake-Ivory Six-Sided Die... all from Auto-Complete. I'd have just gone first and last {Translucent Die}.

SUNSET: Bunny! Mere Feet Away!

Worried About Something....

The Psychic Sneeze

This Old Man is falling down...

LEGO: House - Deconstructed. I never bothered to take a single picture.

LEGO: Step Pyramid. It it very difficult to place The Bricks by feel alone... very difficult.

OM: Sensing Background Anxiety, I wonder if there is Background Bliss (or Happiness) and would I not be happier focusing on that?


Next Diary Project Entry

Home Diary Project Index


A conversion from Ratio Integers to Floats may introduce an infinitive (e.g. 1/3 = 0.333...); and as such, the computation may not halt. But if one does not convert then 2/6 = 1/3 = 1/3 and the computation halts quite nicely. Which is to say, conversion from Ratio to Float introduces The Possibility of an Infinitive. And it is The Possibility of an Infinitive which creates The Halting Problem. For otherwise, we know the problem (in this case, the expression of a rational number) always halts.


© copyright 2021 Brett Paufler
paufler.net@gmail.com