The Diary Project

Weekly Journal

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Dinner Party

DREAM: A giant Pear the size of a Turkey was being slow-roasted over a stove-top burner (which later transformed into a pot). The resultant goop was raked over ice... and was to be the main course (and only course) at some High End Restaurant. Come dawn, I cannot remember the other dishes we ordered, instead. But I do remember the only food I actually got to eat was a pair of delicately browned Mini Marshmallows, which were in a bowl by the restrooms.

DREAM: In a later Dream, I learned the name of The Giant Pear {not that I can remember it now}, which was in season. And I did, indeed, get to eat... the fur from the back of a Tiger. It had the consistency of Cookie Dough and a nondescript (literally) taste.

DREAM: He brought a massive wood plank full of fish (cutting board size) into the restaurant (more of a Greasy Spoon, this time) for them to cook for him. I guess they do that sometimes.

DREAM: The Commander's name was Ham, short for Hammond. But I don't think the General to whom I was giving the run-down realized it was all a Role Playing Game.

LEGO: Put away.

CLEAN: Vacuum.

Company will be over in a bit.

I'm, maybe, halfway through The Supreme Court Slips for the year.

And a fun time was had by all.

R&R:2x2-1... Is that a consistent syntax?

I've got Mathematical Philosophy on my mind. Maybe, I should read about Cantor's Infinities.


DREAM: I waived to a Mechanical Whale.

DREAM: It is odd the Mental Negotiations that take place in Dreams or their Near Wake counterparts. "Rather than return," {to that distant destination miles away}, "let us say I put it in my pocket," {the incriminating evidence, don't you know}.

EYES: My Eyes are happier after Programming than Writing. I'm going to guess staring at the same point in space is what makes the difference. My Eyes dart around more while Programming. Also, my Writing Tools are more Monochromatic: Black on White.

I started a new CIV Game. Let's see how I do.

FOOD: Spaghetti from Italian Sausage and Canned Sauce

The new Supreme Court Term Year occupies much of my Mental Bandwidth... and a deconstruction of yesterday's get together.

Much Anger

DREAM: Working Backwards: Blueprints at The Exchange. Freezing Computer Screens. Wonderful Controls on a Full Wall Glass Refrigerator Case.

Up early. Lying in bed. I am making serious headway on various Maths.

DREAM: Lucid. Going over a waterfall, head first, no feet first, the question is how to ensure I land with my hat {a baseball hat that I eventually tucked into my shirt}. The fall was a slow motion delight, before splashdown.

Should I write The Rant, let it gel further, or just get on with my life? Math is not as Pure as some would have it. There are different Maths. Every Math is just a Model of Pure Logic. But with Multiple Maths, how can any one be Pure? Add in that every Math is incomplete (in that a Nonsensical Statement can be formulated in each; at least, in those in which computation makes sense) and the concept of an All Inclusive Mathematical Purity Fades... to my way of reckoning, anyhow. {And here we have an incomplete understanding; or at least, what I would consider poor word choices just a few days later. For a start (in the above), I would change 'incomplete' to 'inconsistent'. But I'm not even sure that is correct.}

EYES: It is overcast, the windows not casting as much glare. And so, I am finding Computer Work easier.

The Library opens 2020-06-26. But there will be no seating, no hanging out. It likely will not be worth my effort to go. But then, maybe I will grab a magazine or two for reading at home.

116,862 Deaths, just saying. Actually, I'm not saying anything, just reporting.

My Anger features a Redirect. No matter what causes My Anger, I know what I am Angry about. I think it is safe to say I Hold Court with The God of War on a Daily Basis.

EYES: A long Game Playing Day. But, hey. No eye worries.

Being Uncool, I am free of concern about Being Cool; and hence, achieving a state, which resembles (though, probably is not) The Epitome of Cool.

ANGER: I don't know how to track this. But when the only words leaving my mouth are obscenities for hours on end, it's safe to say I'm a bit angry. So, let's make a deal. If you don't know me, let me walk quietly by lest I find a new focus for all that is wrong with the world. Capiche? Of course, the real trick is to simply let the anger go. Even something as simple as writing these words causes the intensity of my ire to be diminished... in a very significant way. It is the daydreaming, the being alone in a thought, left to circle endlessly, which causes the emotion to rocket out of control. Of course, better to be angry now than at three in the morning.

Exercise Filled Day

DREAM: A friend arranged for a friend to drive. But since it really was only a few blocks away, I walked and met him there. I'm actually surprised we ever met up. It was a Big Parade, like huge, Cubs Win The World Series huge. Only, it wasn't that {exact event}. Metaphorically, I figure it was in regards to my anger. But there were no clues In Dream. No one wore masks. The Covid Hit was going to be huge. I could feel their breath... even that of the guy I met. He was gay. Does that make a difference? No. Not really. A friend of a friend, like I said. But he wanted to watch The Parade, be part of the action, while I was going against the flow, slipping away. I decided to enjoy The City's Desolate Streets all alone. But there were still plenty of others about. Upon waking, it's hard to picture The Parade. On the other hand, I most definitely know I wish to enjoy The Parade (I assume the Brain Pathways that lead to anger) from a distance, aloof, removed. I figure an In-City Balcony... far-far away would be ideal. But I still wish to be close enough to hear the roar of the crowd, which was strangely absent In Dream.

Now, it's time to go back to sleep.

Nope. No sleep. It's going to be an early day. Up with the sun.

7:12AM: Out of bed. Been lying here not quite sleeping, mostly thinking for a few hours, now.

116,862 Deaths. Ironic that it hasn't changed or that I've looked again so soon.

People are going to forget they can go anywhere. I'm sort of over it. I'll go to The Far Park, today. Talk to no one and spend no money. I might be happier if the streets were totally deserted.

Police Protect The Market. As such, it should come as no surprise when those not served by The Market resent their {the police's} actions. And of course, obvious acts of Dishonour don't help.

VISION: I really do need the tag or I'll just have to qualify the relevant DREAM Tag every time: Calligraphy Like Symbols, morphing into what can only be called Watching Wallpaper Dry. {A VISION is a near dream state, wherein I enjoy the Cartoon Like patterns swirl about. I'm not it the action... and any action tends to be highly repetitive like watching the ticking of a clock, floating with the waves (often quite huge) in the ocean, or driving on a winding mountain road.}

Tired. So Tired.

2020! In hindsight, perhaps the most interesting year ever!

A Nice Gaming Session. This should probably be a tag.

CIV: My last K-Mod Game. It's turning into Total War and turning out OK, thus far. The real worry is in falling behind in Tech due to a lack of Infrastructure.

I found another Baseball. My eyes aren't that good. And I wasn't wearing my glasses. But here it is. I'm guessing those who bring buckets don't bother to count. Oh, well.

You know, when I was a kid, we had the one ball between us... and we were lucky to have it.

Pine Cone Fort in the grass.

I use 25lb Dumbbells on occasion. But my Exercise of Choice is Throwing Punches or Speed Balling the air. I threw a lot of Punches, today. I am pooped.

Game Day... All Day

DREAM: Kennel Racing. When the dogs go through the uprights, it's much better.

DREAM: Smoke filled car ride, leading to The {Fantasy/LARP} Convention. Since we'd be there only intermittently throughout the weekend, we wanted to know how that would work. It seemed like they really wanted the $69.xx, so they were willing to make allowances. But I really just wanted to know how it would work. By the end, I asked for a good book suggestion, but woke up prior to any answer. Oh, I should also mention, I'd sort of known about the convention before, it having been mentioned in class, but I hadn't really paid attention. And Friday was free. They gave us Discount Coupons at the door if we wanted to go back. OK. Yes. Can my mind take reservations, now. Free money to all that ask. I'm going {to the LARP} as Mr Money Bags.

CIV: I'm fighting a slow (and methodical) Land War against Germany. Yes, I reload. Yes, it's cheating. Still, it's sort of surprising how poorly the AI actually fights, how much I mentally rounded in its favour, giving it credit where little is due.

MEDIA: Death Trap: I feel like starting this tag. I tend to be vague and abstract, saying something like "A day spent Playing My Game, Watching Movies, and doing some Writing." {The MEDIA Tag is to include Visual Media like Movies and TV Shows. It probably won't include Videos (of which I don't watch very many) or reading material.}

So, instead:
CIV: Kicking It!
MEDIA: Death Trap: Good.
WRITING: Nope. None. That {this listing of the Tag} was a lie, just a counter-factual example.

MEDIA: The Iron Robot: Typically, I'll watch a movie in multiple sessions. At least three sittings for this movie. Even if watching more-or-less straight through, I'll want to break for a few minutes here and there. But after a half hour, I've typically had enough.

Let's Play CIV

DREAM: For some reason our commutes overlapped and we (two groups) liked sharing lunch because we shared the same section of the train. I tended to do the accounting. They thought I had overcharged. So, I flashed a wad of cash, letting them {just the one, but I desire to be ambiguous, hiding the specific who} decide how much was owed. They took a Ten Dollar Bill. I never really figured out the cause of the discrepancy.

DREAM: The Math Text Book had a formula corrected: blocked out with white stickers and written over in thick black marker. I was going to need to study that one at home.

DREAM: We weren't even gay. But for some reason kissed hello. {I'm not even close to being gay... not even close. But then, look at My Dreams, look at my oeuvre, and feel free to disagree. Of course, you'd still be wrong.}

DREAM: The work crew could not figure out how to work the garage door, so I explained. This one feels (metaphorically) like renegade thoughts escaping.

DREAM: The Japanese Family was responsible for Inventing The Car... or part thereof. But did not hold the patent, trusting their Company Sponsors to do right by them, which they did. Prior to sleep, I'd been reading a Legal/Litigation Analysis. Japan does things differently than us.

DREAM: In My Dreams, Photographs often move like GIFS, just like in Harry Potter. But the effect predates The Movies. The subject matter was a partial view of an Aircraft Carrier's Deck in action. Man, those things were huge. {I experience the world In Motion, so it is not surprising My Dream Snapshots are, also, In Motion. Can my mind take a Still Picture?}

9:54: I had a real hard time falling asleep, last night. So, it's a reasonably late start.

DREAM: That's quite enough with The Dreams, but my mind won't let the pink-white blooms go. I was at a Department Store Mega Sale. All the Heavily Discounted Items were in End Aisle Drawers. Don't ask me why I grabbed the flowers (and one other item, unknown)? In real life, I don't like being anywhere near plants and would not have even wanted to touch the basket.

CIV: I was Winning Militarily. But I ground my Economy into the ground. I was ahead when I quit. But the writing was on the wall.

READ: A Comparative Analysis of The American Legal System versus other Developed Democracies.

CIV: Same Map. Different Game. I tend to play the Same Map over and over until I do decently. I'm fighting a slower War. I question if I am really doing any better.

If I have enough Tags or choose the right ones, I might be able to track huge amounts of my life with them. Seriously, add a WALK Tag and I've got most of My Life covered.

No walk today, though.

MEDIA: Upload: Unimpressive. I've got a longer file elsewhere. So, I should be able to keep these {Tag Entries} short.

EYES: Blurry for most of the day. Probably dehydrated.

A Dead Man's Day

DREAM: Slip-Sliding (per previous, like Ice Skating) on The Ice in Cowboy Boots on the way to The Near Park with My Darling. I like Slip-Sliding. I wonder if it's a stand-in for something or just a matter of The Dream World starting to fall apart, as I concentrate too much on the act of walking.

DREAM: He was popular and had lots of doodads {Toys and such, Interior Design Furnishings} on account of his mother's endless boxes from unpacking: Double Boots (two feet in one for warming) and a {Lobster Themed} Blanket Cape being but two examples. {Also, he had a sort of One Level Bunk Bed Fort sort of thing going. And the gang was all there.}

What would I do if I just were (existed, was, simply Be) in Dream World? In days of old, flying and sex would have been the answer. But today, I wonder what Meditation would be like. Probably, just an escape, a cancelling. {Note, you can tell that I don't Meditate or it would already be a Tag.}

I found a box of DVD's and CD's out by The Bin, soaking wet from the rain. But they should be fun to go through.

WALK: There is a new batch of Ducklings by Another Mother.

SORT: I completed the first pass on the Music CD's. No DVD's. Two Audio Books. A few Cassettes. A third culled off the top {thrown away, taken back out to The Bin}. The rest drying. For the most, the next stage will be enjoying those I will not keep. It will be another fast sort.

CIV: I'm cooking The Map, which for those not in the know, means I've decided to cheat and give myself a Wondrous Start.

TAXES: Such a slog. My mind is now blown. I would suck as an Accountant.

WALK: It was much cooler, had a long phone conversation, and planned strategy for CIV.

R&R: 2x1-1

And now, I lie in bed, to either Read, Talk, or Daydream. If I were to start a Daydream Tag, I might just call it MUSE. At one time, I had an 86 List, where I put story ideas.

These Journal Notes (maybe, that's what I should call this {but so far, the name has not stuck}) are a huge part of my current writing. I put down very few New Words this week, which did not originate here in this file.

And editing this instance (of Journal Notes) will be about as much writing as I am likely to do, tomorrow... but one never really knows.

The Library opens This Friday. But Patrons are not allowed to hang out. So, I won't be going.

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Rather than writing long explanatory comments, I am more inclined (at the moment) to list such observations as current entries in Next Week's Notes.

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