Brett Rants

Contributor's Page

Because Being a Human Isn't Enough

or in other words

Another Page About Me

Done Slightly Differently
From the Rest

Be Impressed

The self portrait of yours truly is from 2008, background is the back yard in Hawaii, looking at the sun and neighbours tree, I am  actually quite unscruffy looking in this image

Brett Paufler: Author Extraordinaire
Brilliantly Successful.
Uncharacteristically Modest.
Poignantly Obtuse.

A Swing And A Miss
All in all, a rather disappointing third novel, hitting a new low even for Mr Paufler.

It's The Odds On Bet
Brett Paufler has authored over a dozen books and hundreds upon hundreds of short stories, articles, and rants. That said, it is still highly unlikely that you have ever heard of him or read any of his work. Maybe, this piece will change all that. But at this point, that seems like a long shot.

Put It In Writing
Brett Paufler seldom drinks and tries his darnedest not to break any laws... not even for minor things like jaywalking. This was not always the case, you know, in regards to that teetotaling thing. And as to the letter of the law, well, Brett has a firm policy about not admitting to breaking any law... no matter how minor. And in the end, you got to wonder a little about a guy who's got a written policy about something like that.

In Your Dreams, Brett, In Your Dreams
'"I'm a writer. Following me around, watching me for a few days might show you who I am and how I can turn a slight idea," no matter how minor (just like this one), "from initial idea, to gestation, to copy out the door. But the process has little to do with grammar, word choice, or sentence construction; rather, it's a study in the persistence of inspiration, no matter how simple." So, anyway, that's the type of quote I'd like to start the piece with. And as the week progresses, I'll think of a few more to intersperse throughout the article.'

{And, yes. If I ever become famous and you want to mess with me (best read as 'F- with me'), you can use the above quote at the start of any interview piece starring yours truly, as I think it is pretty atrocious; and really, quite the opposite of anything I would want to have at the beginning of any such article.}

Another Day... Another Delay
Having squandered the easy pickings of youth, Brett would be happy to tell you that he's serious now and keeps his nose to the grindstone. But he isn't... and he doesn't.

Over a Freak'in Year
Author of hundreds of rants and numerous novels, along with this very Bios Page, Brett is currently working on a Magazine Survey (The Magazine Project) that is talking much longer than he ever imagined.

Because You Needed to Know
Brett currently favours cream soda. But prior to that, he was known to drink a sudsy root beer or two. And although he can still find pleasure in a crisp orange drink when out on the town, the main cola players no longer provide the refreshing delight they once did.

On The Writing Process
Being a writer, Brett writes. He is quite passionate about writing. So passionate, in fact, that when not writing, he can usually be found reading... other people's works, of course, because when reading your own work, that's called editing. And Brett is not nearly so passionate about editing as one might suppose.

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Is the idea not clear?

It's a riff on those About the Contributor Bios so often found in magazines... or the About the Author blurb to be found at the end of books.

© copyright 2019 Brett Paufler