The Suki Kamasutri: Queen of the Galactic Frontier

Eddie Takosori

# # # Season 1 # # #

# # # Episode 1 # # #

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    The Mister Crazy trying to say the Suki be the crazy one? If that be the so, the Suki feel it only be the fair to warn the Mister Crazy Man Mister how that be the standard operational procedure of the criminally psychotically insane.
    And you know this because?
    The Suki watch the informative after the school Ether special when she the younger, so she the know.
    Ah, yes. It all makes sense, now. Big on the Ethers, are you? Watch a lot them, do you? Probably shape your world view, I’m thinking.
    The Mister with the smug condensation attitude in his voice, think he be the, oh, so the smarty pants, but the Suki get the feeling he no be the, oh, so the smarty pants, no at the all. For although it be the true -- the sad, but the true -- the average galactic citizen only be able to watch the ten, the twenty, or even the thirty hours of the Ether the week, the Suki reasonably certain that the Bandi Brother Mister T-Ug! probably fall the way short on his personal quota, lying down on the job, if he ask the Suki. And so, he probably no be all that well informed. He probably think the Vow of the Poverty be the good idea and not the crazy talk stupid idea it so obviously be to the sophisticated traveling woman of the galaxy like the Suki. In the other the words, what the Suki be the saying, she be the pretty the sure it be the Mister Crazy Talk Mister, who be the one who be the completely the out of the touch with the reality in this the here the conversation.
    So, you’re saying I’m the one whose crazy and maybe a little out of touch?
    The Suki think it be the very highly the likely... especially since the Mister most likely be the here because he think he want to become the Bandi Brother himself.
    And this expert opinion of yours is based upon?
The Suki’s years of living with the Bandi Brothers... and the Suki’s years of watching the Ether, so she have the comparison and glimpse of the outside and she knows what she be the missing being the stuck here on the inside.
    So, we’re back to it, those Ethers. And you watch a whole heck a lot of them, you say.
    Um, let the Suki think for the moment, because the Mister have the sound in his voice like he think he be the smarty pants or maybe the on to the something, so let the Suki think for the moment and give the Mister’s commentary the deep introspective inquiry it the deserve. So, what the Mister Condensation Voice be the saying be that he maybe think the Suki spend the way too much the time with the Ether. So, if that be the case, the Suki have to ask herself, what else there be for the Suki to do with her time if it not be with the Ethers? Oh, and that be the right. She get the gruel to eat, the three gongs the day. And the monks! Oh, they be the fun to play with, they be the virtual riot... but that be when they no be the meditating, which be the lot... but they take the time off on the occasion to play with the Suki. But for the most, the nine-nine-nine-nine-nine percent of the time, they the no fun, the no fun the whatsoever, let the Suki tell the Mister. They be like the bump on the proverbial log. But, oh! There be the little ray of the sunshine, the moonshine, or the starshine, whatever the Mister’s personal preference be on the cold and dark and dreary the night, for there be the handheld viewer the Child Protective Services give the Suki the many the many so long year the ago when she be but the tiny little girl child. They say it to prevent the Brother Bandi from the completely brain-warping the Suki’s impressionable young mind -- maybe make the Suki think the Brother Bandi be the normal or the something. So the OK. The yeah. Between the day and the night and the all the parts in-the-between, the Suki spend the lot of the time watching the Ether. She be the virtual connoisseur of the space-waves. It probably be the only thing keeping the Suki the least bit the sane in the end.
    I wouldn’t be so sure about that.
    We back on the that? The Mister back to challenging the Suki’s sanity. Then let the Suki get back to challenging the Mister on his fakery name. It no be the real name. The Suki know the that. So, the Suki is going to have to see some ID, so she can ascertain for the certain who the Mister really be and if he be who he say he be and all of the that.
Sorry.
    Then the Suki the sorry, the too.
    Stop opening my cabinets! You can’t just go through other people’s belongings.
    Well, the Suki certainly can’t go through ‘the other people’s belongings,’ if the other people in the question have taken the stupid vow of the poverty and so do not have the single thing to go the through. The Suki say, ‘The Gee the Wiz, Mister the Wizard,’ not even the small hand-held or toy top to the spin or the twirl? What the Mister do in the deep of the space? Oh! Oh! The Suki get it, the now. The Suki watch the after the school special. It be the normal-natural the thing, even the Pinky say it be the so. It be the phase the all the boys go the through, the time of the self-exploration. It just last the longer for the some than for the other. It be the nothing to be the ashamed the of. And now the Suki understand the Mister’s name. ‘Howdy the pard’ner. Name be the Tug. Wanker Boy already be the taken.’
    Ha-ha. But you’re way off. Look around you. This is a tugboat. You’re standing... in a tugboat.
    So... the what?
    So, that’s where my name comes from.
    The why be the that?
    I always wanted to be a tugboat captain. It was, like, my dream.
    It be the stupid dream, if the Mister be asking the Suki.
    Yeah, well. Before the Festival -- the ship I grew up on -- came into port to dock, the tug boats would always come to guide her in, and I guess I’d get all excited, and point, and yell, ‘Tug! Tug! Tug!’ So since I was a little kid, that’s what everyone has always called me, Tug.
    Wow! That be the good the story. The Suki almost believe the it. But the Suki only have the one question for the Mister T-Ug. He make that story up the here and the now? Or he be the rehearsing it for the years?
    Why don’t you believe me? It’s true.
    Suki be the skeptical by the nature.
  Look, this is a tugboat. You can see that, right?
    It be the sort of the dumpy, if that what the Mister the mean. Certainly it no be the space ship of the Suki’s dreams, she can tell the Mister the that.
    Hey, don’t be knocking ole Tuggie. And don’t be rolling your eyes at me. You’re in enough trouble as it is already, Miss Suki.

Yes, the please!
The more the Suki for me!