Portrait of an Imaginary Friend
Sal E. Mander
# # # Query # # #
Hello der edeetor dude
And we writtee book wit da meester
25,500 words, 4,800 lines of pure un-alterated randomness
eben we know’d dat da wrong way to sayee eet meester
eet classic story
eet got all da elements
I got to tell you, I don’t see how an editor is ever going to look at this letter and be interested.
You just da pesse-meester
Dat what we say
You gotta da girls
You gotta da heresy
We no see nobody eber dis dat god guy da way you do
da meester explain da religious implimpercations
You guys really shouldn’t shoot for those big words.
We get excited
I don’t believe there’s a lot of difference between my friends and other people’s friends, like God, Jesus, or Buddha.
Oh, der be a difference
We from magi nation
Eet story ‘bout us
How we came to be
Meester eben trace da psycho-logicable stuffe
Like how you guys were formed with certain rules and constraints so you’d never disappear
Yeppie, stuff like dat
Eet dangerous being da maginary friend
The mortality rate is out of this world?
Hey, you stealie our line meester
So eedeetor dude,
you publishee book
we maka da movie
den we lib da happily eber after
And the Meester, he gets a green Cadillac.
And, ----- ride in back
Cadillac, Cadillac, Long and Green, ----- in back
before we lebe dis world, ----- gonna ride in a Green Cadillac