Portrait of an Imaginary Friend
Sal E. Mander

# # # Query # # #

    Hello der edeetor dude
    Or dudette
    We -----
    And we writtee book wit da meester
25,500 words, 4,800 lines of pure un-alterated randomness
    eben we know’d dat da wrong way to sayee eet meester
    eet classic story
    eet got all da elements
I got to tell you, I don’t see how an editor is ever going to look at this letter and be interested.
    You just da pesse-meester
    Dat what we say
    Eet classic
    You gotta da girls
    You gotta da heresy
    We no see nobody eber dis dat god guy da way you do    
    da meester explain da religious implimpercations   
You guys really shouldn’t shoot for those big words. 
    We get excited
    We forgettee
I don’t believe there’s a lot of difference between my friends and other people’s friends, like God, Jesus, or Buddha.
    Oh, der be a difference
    We from magi nation
    Eet story ‘bout us
    How we came to be
    Meester eben trace da psycho-logicable stuffe
Like how you guys were formed with certain rules and constraints so you’d never disappear
    Yeppie, stuff like dat
    Eet dangerous being da maginary friend
The mortality rate is out of this world?
    Hey, you stealie our line meester

     So eedeetor dude,
    or dudette
    you publishee book
    we maka da movie
    den we lib da happily eber after
And the Meester, he gets a green Cadillac.
    And, ----- ride in back   

    Cadillac, Cadillac, Long and Green, ----- in back
    before we lebe dis world,     ----- gonna ride in a Green Cadillac


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