The Diary Project


I am writing too much.

Unfortunately, I'm having a hard time coming up with another activity that provides the same sense of meaning. After all, as the seconds tick down, a Hail Mary is better than taking a knee and throwing in the towel, any day of the week.

Hey, I like that fleece pull-over.  As I age, it is odd how long clothes last, I no longer outgrow them nor in many cases do I ever wear them out.  I mean, that is not true, not all the way, but the fleece is from around 2007 and I still own it, so we are talking almost fifteen years of sporadic use.  Eh, most of the time it has been in a drawer or hanging in a closet
Circa 2017

DREAM: The Train stopped at The Station. Twenty Minute Delay. Everybody Out. And I woke up.

DREAM: There are many Entities with whom I would like to converse. Others, not so much.

"Miss? Why? You had the good grace to die while you were still alive."

FEEL: It's hard to plan for tomorrow, when you don't care about today.

Across the board, my contempt grows day-by-day. I wonder what that says about me.

Maybe, Evil Triumphs for no other reason than it's simple, easy, and straightforward, that it's easier to do New Evil than New Good.

Fine. Argue Away...

Math is Not True. Rather, Math Solves Problems. And it is True that we want to Solve Problems.

I attribute Socrates with the idea: I can know nothing; this I believe to be true.

DREAM: I liked the feel of that Twelve Shooter Gun. It got the job done. Let's just say, it was a Strange Sleepover.

VISION: Upon waking, Video Board Game like Graphics. CIV comes to mind. But it was more Candy Fluff. And it seemed like I could claim Tokens (so, it was more like an Adventure Game) with Achievements to be Unlocked throughout The Day.

WALK: The Pool at The Park is Blasting The Radio through The Speaker System. It's not a good thing. Actually, it's pretty ignorant in this day and age. I'm not that close.

And now, a nearby Work Truck has Talk Radio going.

People like to believe life is about moving forward and gaining wisdom and experience. But it's, probably, just about loss... the loss of ego.

Back in the day, when I was travelling about, I was fairly frequently told I was an Old Soul. I, probably, should have asked them what they meant.

The Old oppress The Young. The Rich just tag-along for The Ride.

The Older Generation has always oppressed The Younger Generation. The Old Money Rich simply learned how to do it better.

What are The Eyeballs looking for?
What do you want them to see?

Scattered is The Mind: A Million Sub-Processes Firing At Once.

BET: Baring Totalitarian Overkill, The World's Population will hit 7.7 Trillion.

BET: Seems like a more honest/descriptive tag then Seer, Oracle, Prediction, or Guess. It's a Gentleman's Bet, to be sure. Honour and Bragging Rights are all that's at stake.

Though, even "?:" might be better. It's what I consider to be The Odds On Answer to an Implied Question.

I do not have a good batting average.

I miss my childhood (baseball) glove.

FEEL: I am some degree of bored. I am looking for an activity.

Teeth & Towel: I remembered! This time, anyway.

It's so hot, if one were to throw a handful of nails into the air, they'd melt before they hit the ground.

MEDIA: Upstairs Downstairs - Season Three... begins.

DREAM: I do love swimming/floating down rivers.

DREAM: I should, perhaps, make a TODO List for The Dream World.

DREAM (Entity): Talk/Listen. So, Communicate.

DREAM (Library): What book should I go for? I feel like I should already know. But I don't. If I had access to The Great Astral Library, what book would I want to read? I don't know.

{I spend very little of my time thinking about such things. I think I would be better off it I did.

Entity: Any. But I would most definitely prefer spending time skipping through ethereal streams with my darling, holding her hand, kissing her lips, and in other ways misbehaving.

Book: I don't read anymore. So, perhaps, it's not what I want in The Dream World, anymore, either.

Dream: As much as anything, I really just want to stand still and experience what is, to feel the walls of The Dream World, to breath its air.}

RUNE: 1887-O Liberty Dollar, which has the Dubious Distinction of being Purchased on a Day of Infamy... 2-3 years ago.

I thought I had guessed the password. I was wrong.

I'm, probably, discounting how hard it is to be just a little less evil.

{I have under-estimated the difficulty in being better, to living a better life, to being good, holy, or whatever. Every change (and there really haven't been that many) is difficult and runs up against a very real desire not to improve, to go on as before.

I don't like exercising... not more than I do. There is a reason I stop when I do.

My Meditation Regiment is a joke.

And I pretty much eat (and by extension, consume) whatever I want, whatever is handy, or whatever is convenient. There is no morality being acted out.

If there is an area of exception, I am at loss as to what it is.

My life is one of dissipation and ease. And I'm not entirely sure there's any point in not living that way... nor do I have a clear conception of what the opposite might look like.

I may have said this exact same thing last month and/or the month before.}

Suki Breaks The Internet: Rebooted

Charity Chastity: Cursed By Compulsion... All The Way & More

"We're that close to having to face the elements. It's just waiting for us on the other side of these walls."

The Elements in the preceding could just as easily have been The Consequences of Our Actions or Similar Dangerous Obstacle, Result, or Calamity. Hereby, we introduce, showcase, or revisit the peril {in some plotline or story}.

Attend to Your Words, boy. The rest will follow.

I'm beginning to put together a plan on how to celebrate My Birthday... All Month Long.

Money valourizes both Math & Art.

For Quantum Mechanics to have much meaning, the effects of Quantum Entanglement must be extremely limited. After all, a completely Entangled Universe and a Deterministic Universe are indistinguishable from one another.

The Purity of Mathematics is a Lie.

x/0=∞ provided one doesn't mind using Zero or Infinity in an equivalency (it's never technically true) and the resultant Infinity is used as a Terminal Value: i.e. provided Computation stops there.

There is not anything that is completely and totally equivalent to anything but itself. Thus at a very fundamental level, 1+1=2 is a lie. It's a convenient lie. It's a helpful lie. It's a useful lie. But it is a lie, nonetheless.

1+1≠1+1 for different values (i.e. instantiations) of one.

At issue are types. And the fact that in the real world, all types are unique.

A Singleton One and a Singleton One may well make Two Singleton Ones. And from this, a Two. But this Two is not equivalent to any other Two unless the same underlying Singleton Ones are employed.

It's not an overly useful Math.

I do like thinking about the Uniqueness of One wherein something is not so much countable as knowable.

Moby Dick is not a single whale countable among many other whales. Moby Dick is simply Moby Dick and that's about all one can say about Moby Dick.

But for the most, Whale Oil is Whale Oil and nobody much cares which whale said Whale Oil came from.

Some Cultures never get past One-Two-Many. Let us understand the beauty and limitation of this construct from their point of view.

Zero Bit More

The needs of Math in a Triplet; wherein, the final value is Multiply-Able.

0-1-M: Zero Bit More

0 + 0 = 0
1 + 0 = 1
1 + 1 = M
M + 1 = M
M + 0 = M
M + M = M

M - 0 = M
M - 1 = M|1
M - M = M|1|0

Importantly, if one takes away from Many (either Many or One at a time) after a Finite Number of Times, Zero is reached.

M ≠ ∞

Many is only so Many.

MxM+M=M for all M. But the converse is not necessarily true, as sometimes Many is little more than One.

M x M + M = M
M ≤ M x M + M

0 = 0
1 = 1
M <,=,> M

0 < 1 < M

But can I think of this natively?

"From many the end is soon reached."

Many may decay Deterministically or Stochastically; but decay it must.

"Even The Many without End will someday end."

The Many of Many Many's

M', M→: The Decay of Many

M' is independent of M (or could be).
In the abstract (which is where I think I am headed with this), M' is unpredictable.

In The Real, two M's are order-able; and thus, comparable. But what if they were not?

Thus, I find it hard to keep the two (inspiration and abstraction) separate. I keep on going back to Big Fish & Little Fish... the comparator.


M may be Orderable or Not. But in order to be Orderable, M must, also, be Determinable.

Without Prediction, there is No Order.

And I like The Unpredictable Version better; wherein, M' cannot be known in advance. Otherwise, it feels too much like Numbers. M reducing to M1, M2, M3, and so on.

M' differs from M(-1) only in Syntax.

{The following are intended to be identities: Zero resolves to Zero and so forth. Meaning, 0 = 0.}

0() = 0
1() = 1
M() = M

0(-0) = 0
1(-1) = 0
M(-M) = 0|1|M

I question the external validity of numbers. Words are not inherent to The Universe. So, why should numbers be? Or is my first assumption false?

Or are numbers inherent to measurement? Whereas, text strings are not.

When all the other fingers bow down to the thumb, you got yourself what's known as a fist.

Retirement kicks into overdrive.

If you've seen one many, you've seen them all.

DISCLAIMER: Rants & The Journal Project are like Idea Notebooks and/or Scratch Pads wherein nothing is every scratched out.

<strike>The Strike Tag throws an error in my HTML Syntax Checker (N++ w/ JSLint). Otherwise, I might have started using it.</strike>

"WTF you talking about?" stretched out, accented, and intoned with varying degrees of outrage and disbelief (intended to impart a variety of meanings), rising and falling in disjointed crescendos, producing a musical cacophony akin to crickets chirping in the night are the only lines allowed to our Three Skit Actors, playing to the crowd.

Some degree of spirit lives on until the end.

Poster Boy Killer: Those Post No Bills Hand Flyers one sees all over town, come to life for a one, with a (possibly murderous) intent all their own.

Poster Boy Poster: Each Poster has a separate personality. Suave Commercial Grade. Old Time Graffiti like Childhood Friends. Cool Bands Being So Cool wherein Faces in The Crowd Come Alive. Movie Bill Starlet Wonders. And there's even one of Home Town Girl working The Club. She's already got a name: Melody.

WALK: Pre-Wetted Shirt. Seeking Shade.

WALK: I followed habit and blazed across the hottest field. Let's not do that again.

Tuesday: Garbage Trucks are about Picking Up. So, Monday would be The Scavenge Day. Though, I see Nothing out for The Pickings, today.

WALK: No Pool Music

The Endless Endless: On Things Todo Before Doing That

{I was referring to the endless steps I encounter in Dream Land, an unfortunate happenstance which mirrors my waking life.

But upon reread, I might be tempted to reword the title (the foregoing being the title of an imaginary self-help book of sorts): The Endless Endless: On Things Todo Before One Dies.}

Was Hot
Now, It's Not

0-1-M: Let us consider the implications and uses.

MEDIA: Upstairs Downstairs - Season Three. End.

MEDIA: Star Trek - Season Three

You are who you are. And if you aren't who you are, you are nothing.

DREAM: Holed up in a house, guns at the ready. Zombies Unseen. Apocalyptic.

Communism: Farm ten acres. Farm twenty acres. Farm as many acres as you want. Thank you for doing all that farming.

{farm}: any gainful activity

The Zen of Personal Life Point Data Collection

brownie_cake: project started

I: I mention the preceding only for interlinking (time stamp) guidance for those (A-AI) playing along at home.

I am quite pleased with the brownie_cake schema. The class feels solid. My only fear is it's too tightly fitted: i.e. bends to preferentially conform to meet the needs of the first data point in a way that is detrimental to the rest.

Case In Point, I have meta to spare, meta that is in need of care, handling, and disposal. {Hence, it's inclusion here.}

To The Next Generation (Always & Forever): You have no idea what we were handed... and that, my dear friend, is our gift to you.

The only time I ditched, I went to another high school.

MEDIA: Eminem. Surprisingly Good! His Persona put me off. Seemed fakey, somehow. So, I'd only ever listened to the one song: Lose Yourself, I believe is the name. It's on my play list. Typically, I don't like (or at least, play) album sides. But this stuff (some Slim Shady Album), is good. Solid. It's musical, lyrical, and poetical. Now, grant it. It's all been a bit dark. And I can see that getting old and repetitive. But not yet.

Predict: Crypto-Currencies will be as important to future economies, as tulips are to today's.

Predict: Block-Chain's value added is not to be found in anonymous exchange. Mining requirements (and the attendant visibility constraints) have seen to that. As for the non-anonymous case, I don't see how double-interlocking (and/or intertwining) keys can be beat.

{I would never use a Block Chain for my own data, as passwords work just fine. And since Block Chains use passwords for access to the chain, they haven't really progressed beyond the password mechanic, anyway. Furthermore, since any number of passwords can be composed to make a new password (think of it as a password to get the password), the same base password mechanic can be expanded to include any number of interlocking users.}

I should try a Keto Version of Brownie Cakes.

Prediction: Synonymous with Guess or Opinion: i.e. an as of yet Untested Hypothesis, which I shall never Test or Demonstrate.

"Let's never go out... ever again."

Q-Pow: ?!

Don't ask for too much. And make sure to give enough.

Sexy Pestilence

Wench of War: Spy Assassin
Death Dealer: Accident Prone (for others) Calamity Jane Type
Fem le Famin'e: Where their is a will, there is a way. After all, there are many ways to decimate a population.
Dandy de'la Disease: So with it. So Trendy. So now.

I could sit for a long time in this pit (of despair) of my own making.

FEEL: Ignore the above. Just words.

DREAM: Fire Team Partner followed my orders with impeccable precision. Was infamous kid from high school. Got caught infiltrating and then hiding in enemy building. Police Dog sniffed us out. Dog seemed like a construct or entity (no real difference, except construct implies a lack of freewill or in this instance, it felt like a part of my self, whereas entity is decidedly neutral on the subject). Police Officer (Dog Handler) had Golf Clubs as part of his morning setup. But whether benign or not I never found out.

Rain! A F-Ton!

I am spending a lot of time on Imgur, lately. Imgur & CIV.

I have Bacon Fat. How should I use it? Best Guess: Brownies!

Is it better to have become an Eagle Scout in a Good Troop or a Bad One? What are the implications of each?

How does {should, could, or would} a human decide what to care about? What are the constraints?

Everyday, I get more resolute in my patterns: some for good... and some for bad.

You don't know where you are. You're lost already. You didn't get nowhere. {This is self talk. You (typically and throughout) is not the reader per se; but rather, is an unspecified pronoun, the generic instantiation of I, me, us, we, him, her, and so on.}

WALK: That parking lot is full. I guess the pool is busy.

WALK: The Other Bench (for that is its name) has almost Full Shade!

I've been wanting Suckers (for when I walk) for a long time. I should buy some.

WALK: That Pool Is Fully Operational!

I am keen on communication. I like a good sentence.

Dying Of A Hurry

WALK: Light Pollution from The Grease Fire.

{I: Some refinery fairly close by (likely within fifty miles) exploded and caught fire. It made the national news. It should not be terribly hard to track down the specifics for one such as you.}

MEDIA: Star Trek - Season Three
MEDIA: Upstairs Downstairs - Season Four

I've always lived at the edge of empire. It's spread so thin, most people do.



Whereas, adding "One, Two, Three" at the end follows the trend but ruins the flow.

A Story in which Privileged Kids get what they want and all the world smiles, because they are Privileged kids, after all.

WALK: Bit on Left Back Forearm. Fat Gnat. Maybe, Beetle. Stings a bit. Multiple bites. Other side twinges. A definite effect. Venom. Saliva. One and the same. I was walking through a Concrete Sawdust Debris Cloud Field.

OM: Taking The Air.

WALK: The Music is better, today.

Shortbread: 1-2-4: Sugar-Butter-Flour

{I have made a lot of shortbread, as of late.

1 part Sugar
2 parts Butter
4 parts Flour

I have made this with a wide variety of off-brand lards (goose fat, bacon fat, and smaltz) and nothing compares to (and/or works quite like) butter.}

FOOD: Fried Chicken. It sure smells good.

TALK: It is amazing how anger seems to grow sometimes.

I once (ten, fifteen years ago), overheard a Police Officer saying, "If action is appropriate, the appropriate action is calling The Police."

WALK: Evening. But it was too cloudy for a sunset.

I've got lots of other little note files going: Comments, On The Hour (i.e. Month of Sundays), Cocoa Crazy, and the Star Trek media files.

Shall we propose that a Market without Rents is Free.

Like many people, I'd be happy to re-jigger society and do a bit of social engineering.

I believe society can be improved by the exercise of political will. I believe the qualitative nature of these improvements are self-evident (and easily agreed upon by all right minded individuals) and are universally beneficial (i.e. a net boon to all members of society): being things such as love, honour, kindness, and decency. However, The Devil is in The Details, as there is no widespread agreement on the exact route to take to get us to these (perhaps, mostly mythical) destinations.

I am anarchistic enough, I immediately questioned the whole of the above (not the supporting arguments, but the whole).

I am sure I Context Switch in the middle of most {many, some[: key], all} thoughts. I might posit True Insight is born Therein at The Juncture.

I've got a policy not a prescription for most everything.

Thus, in the above case of political will, the implementation of the definition of political will would be such a case (regressing ad infinitum: i e. catch me if you can).

Anything that is owned can be stolen.

CLEAN: Pickle Juice spilled in the refrigerator. Sometimes, such things can be demoralizing. Luckily, this time they were not.

Geosmin. Petrichor Smell.

SORT: I'm cleaning up The Art Supplies, which have been untouched throughout The Pandemic. Once the weights (similarly unused) are sorted, The Black Shelf will be put on Kitchen Overflow Duty.

Ownership of Capital brings nothing to the market. Entrepreneurial Labour is The Value Added.

One only has this moment... or nothing, at all.

Was my preference for sitcoms an indication of unhappiness?

WALK: Mild Summer. Late Afternoon. Early Evening.

Does one have the right to stay alive? First and foremost? Regardless of cost? If not, where is the line?

Men are slaves to either a single woman or all of them.

I may suck. But I try not to.

"It's harder being a Super Villain than a Super Hero. You got to think... be a go-getter, get out there. Now, if you just want to grow old and die, being a Super Hero is a great gig. You get Fame & Fortune, you know, if that's your thing. But if you want more, like say, Creative Control over The Entire World, well, for something like that, you really got to take on the competition, because there's going to be some resistance."

I love my Easy Chair.

Winnie, Winnie, Winnie...
The Whale

FOOD: Short Bread. No Eggs is a selling point.

DREAM: Odd how I knew I had not gone to Elementary School with either; but never stopped to question whether I was dreaming in the face of so preposterous a claim.

WALK: Drizzles.

The Scientists think they know. But they do not.

FEEL: Angry. There's no reason to hold back. So, let's fight. Bring it.

Get this. Now, he's going back in time {in his mind} and operating some sort of Buy-Sell-Trade Electronic Pseudo Fencing Operation, which includes a sort of Fanzine Ragsheet.

WALK: A bit soggy. Any drought is over.

WALK: Light for a Saturday.

ALBUM: It's Good To Meet You, Sir. Concept Album. Traces Date Night from Start to Finish. Clean Cut High School Hero Point of View (POV).

PIC (picture): Mushrooms. I have low hopes. But they (a short hundred strong clump of small droopy heads) have potential. I'm hoping a filter will make them pop. {Not Good Enough!}

Love is a Graphing Problem. Node / Edge. Chicken / Egg. Works / Faith. There is the desire. But also, what is done about the desire, how it is fulfilled. One cannot exist without the other. They are mutually dependent.

So, is Monad The Trivial Case w/ the presumption a node is; and as such, can always return to itself?

WRITING: I'm spreading my writing throughout the day more-and-more. Though, that's not true. I am interrupting my work day more-and-more. I write notes earlier and later. I edit much less: sporadically and infrequently. The quantity is way off. I have no major project going. Nothing new and original. Whatever. A document is open on the computer, doing nothing, and has been for an hour, now.

These notes, from a phone.

The only way to live is right up to the edge... of death.

Retired, with nothing to do but fill the emptiness of time.

Time Still: Time Enough
End of Life. Mad Scientist. Bored. Something Todo. Makes More Time via a Time Still. Distillery. Couple. One Forward. One Backward. Though, the ways switch: body/mind. SeeSaw. Equilibrium. How far forward? How far back? Young & Old. Spring. Autumn.

Logic will not make God more tractable.

God is exactly what you want Him to be. And exactly what He's not.

God created life, knowing it would live, suffer, and die.

Sometimes, there comes a point in the conversation, when you realize you just don't like the person you're talking to anymore.

God speaks in contradiction. He exits in paradox.

Wherein Truth Is Rejected
And The Past Not Allowed
Concepts of Future Beings
Dissolve Into Dust

TALK: I have my issues. I have my concerns. The major life dilemma seems closer to finding a resolution.

I am such a rule follower that can and may mean the same thing to me.

Mythigy interfaces The Bible with Reality, taking whatever form that requires.

And now, it's midnight on the dot, so I'm calling the month.

KARMA: Every generator yields to completion, every cause resolves into final effect. Nothing is incomplete. Thus, everything is complete. There is no leaving out.

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Those mushrooms looked cool... but not cool enough.

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