The Diary Project

Weekly Journal

Let Us Fade

A manhole covered surrounded by gravel in the pre-paving stage, this was recently fixed in the neighborhood and I found the progression interesting, even if this is a fairly banal picture, most artsy photography is, I find it pleasing, though I do wonder if the image is worth 232kb

But there is something stopping us from falling into The Void.

I Like The Cool

DREAM: The car was momentarily stuck in the mud. My Dream World really wants vehicles to stay on the road.

FOOD: Leftover Nachos.

WRITING: Not really...


MEDIA: Mr Robot - Season Four. It sucks. The series has probably sucked all along. I think it earned an Emmy or something. But that doesn't change it from sucking. The aesthetics are good. I like the sets and locations. But the plot doesn't follow common sense... or really, any sense. The Real World just doesn't work that way. And there are no set rules as to how The World of Mr Robot is supposed to work. So, it's so much randomness... with characters grandstanding as if their words were important. They are not. We {My Darling & My Self} talk over all of it. It really does suck. And yet, we will watch it through. I'm not altogether sure why. Let's put it this way. I'm pretty sure this is my last season... unless it makes a turn for the awesome, which simply isn't going to happen. {Since Season Four is subtitled The Final Season, it does seem unlikely I will ever watch another season.}

I think maybe I should write something, tomorrow. Not edit. But write. {I did not. Editing is the rule of the day. Though, every once in awhile, I add a few words to a note file. For Instance, My Ideas File is coming along nicely, which will eventually be converted to a Rant.}

Feel Good

DREAM: They fade quicker than movies. It's a shame. And even as I recall them, they shift ever so slightly. It was this... this... this. With this changing... morphing... and evolving.

DREAM: In the stairwell at the old house, a robot sort of kept inventory, and I was in the works, helping it, getting in the way, and/or trying to take credit.

Early day.

They drained the pool.

WALK: An early walk with My Darling.

FEEL: Plenty sad. But, hey. I might rally and get angry later.

DREAM: Movie. Company. Feast. I would repeat. I lingered a long time in The Fading Dream Space. It was a happy place.

EYES: Got that underwater feeling going for a second. I like that, too.

WRITING: Apparently not today. I'm not planning on turning on the computer. It's getting late. And a thunderstorm is expected to hit soon.

Five By Five. I thought it was a lie. That I was just being witty. But upon reflection, it's the literal truth.

Maybe, I should try drinking again... some pre-measured almost clinical amount of alcohol a few times a week.

MEDIA: Jordan Peterson - Who Dares Say He Believes In God? Impressive. Simply, impressive.

MUSIC: Donovan - Mellow Yellow

DISHWASHER: Lives in local tenements. "Often, the lowest of the low." And is therefore interested in locks. "I just don't want one I can pick. It's why I chose this building. It keeps the outside out... if it wants to. From there, it's just a matter of being a member of the local community in good standing... which requires an understanding of the local culture... and to be willing to bend to its knees... I mean needs."

MUSE: Bedroom Locks
Cassidy - Open
Gwen - Locked. No.
Chuck & Marge - Wide Open... they like to go big.
The Dishwasher - Locked. "It's not really locked if I can get in. And it just seems like a bad security risk if I can get in. I mean, it's a Big Red Flag."

Who Din?

WRITING: Minimal. But moving on.

WALK: There's solvent in the air.

MEDIA: Jordan Peterson - A Biblical Lecture Series. Who knows? If it's interesting, I might listen to them all.

FOOD: Egg Drop Soup

Light Airy Sunset! Soothing!

"Penultimate Pigeons" is apparently a keeper of a phrase.

I don't like lists.

Slow & Easy

DREAM: I was getting a haircut. I need a haircut. Apparently, If you grow up in a trailer park, it's common to be scared of water.

A project I've been mentally working on for awhile involves the assumption of reincarnation. Given that you will live life again, how would you wish to live it differently? OK. Let's make it harder. Given reincarnation, it's clear we don't remember much about our past lives. So given a short list of desires, attributes, and/or inclinations {so as to enable your life to have been lived better than it was}, what you put on that hyper-short list?

RULE: Follow Greatness. If you want to be like Einstein, follow his footsteps. If you revere Napoleon, do as he would do. Pick a short list of heroes and do that which is common to all.

So if that's a RULE, a reincarnation dictum, and/or something I'd like to have done (or do), how do I generalize that without falling into blind obedience and/or empty hero worship?

How To Bury A Rune

MEDIA: Biblical Studies. That's likely misleading. So far, it's low on religion, higher on the basis or background of religion.

MUSIC: PsyTrance - Mind Grind. I'm starting (starting) to note the different posters {of Musical Media}. Also, I tend to zoom ahead to ensure I like the beat prior to wading through the introductory segments. Some introductions are value-added high-points (like the one on this track). But others are a slog.

I could graph that. Shall we say each datum is worth five?

VISION: A house could become our baby. But it would eat everything we threw at it. {It sounds like a metaphor... and it is. But it was also the literal vision playing behind my closed eyes, which is what this tag is about. It's not a DREAM. It's a VISION, as played on my heads-up display during some down-time.}

"Uninvited Visitors." There's a euphemism, if ever I heard one. "Now, get out!"

FOOD: Sour Cream Dipped Corn Chips
FOOD: Leftover Pan Fried Pizza
FOOD: Shrimp w/ Homemade Cocktail Sauce

Fine Enough

DREAM: I'm always going somewhere... usually alone.

DREAM: I got the question wrong. 'Lily Dressing' contains oil.

DREAM: I bound a book of blank paper and another full of notes and sold the two together for $10. When asked, the person who bought it indicated they did so because the transaction would obviously make me happy. "It's what you wanted."

Search Engines really do suck. Sure, lots of folks have linked to the site. But the site is full of ads and basically sucks. It didn't answer my needs {i.e. my query in a straightforward manner}; but rather, theirs. As increasingly it would appear do the Search Engines {serve their own needs}. Though, I was following another's footsteps. So in the end, I'm complaining about following another into the mud.

DREAM: I climbed a stairway that wasn't there, sneaking out of the dentist office (as I'd taken the back-way in), waiting at the shoe repair shop. But I really just needed better shoes.

DREAM: I was in a library but no one was wearing masks. I think this helped me confirm it was lucid. I thought about making a note on my phone. But what would be the point?

DREAM: I had plenty of luggage... and coins and dollars at the ready. Fare was a non-issue. And the buses came quickly.

It was a solid nap, complete with Visions on the front side, which I can no longer remember.

FEEL: There is no doubt I am suffering from Depression brought on by feelings of betrayal.

Weeds are typically the most interesting thing in a field.

WALK: Six!

Movie Party! We are slowly making our way through A Series Of Unfortunate Events.

FOOD: Two Cups Hot Chocolate, which is something I have almost every day.
FOOD: Turkey Cheese Sandwiches {two folded-over half-sandwiches}, which I ate as a light snack.
FOOD: Cheese Tortellini
FOOD: Ice Cream w/ Caramel Sauce

Slow Day

DREAM: The value of Lottery Ticket Scratchers was dependant upon the draw. Not reported to date, but I have had frequent Dreams concerning Lottery Tickets to the point I have preferred In Dream vendors {just like in real life}.

DREAM: I could have waited for the next bus, ten minutes away. But I opted for the one there, standing room only with a dog at my feet. Eh, I could have shared a backwards facing seat with another. But I chose not to.

Second Sleep is getting to be quite the thing.

WRITING: The Data Dump. Old Correspondence.

FOOD: Cream of Spinach Soup. Or in other words, Blended Leftovers watered down with broth.

WALK: A Nice Sunset Walk... including a pleasant rest on a Park Bench.

I don't drink much. One of my new projects is to touch alcohol one or two times a week. So, tonight I dipped my tongue in whiskey a few times... just a drop at a go. It's enough for me. I can feel it. Maybe, not much. But something... enough.

Fun Day

MEDIA: Mr Robot

FOOD: Bread, Butter, & Soup

MUSIC: Linkin Park - Numb - Frenchcore Remix

I could see. But I did not.
Reverse. Invert. Pull Through.
This is the business of going blind.

"I've studied The Dark Arts, boy. I can Stop A Man's Heart with My Eyeball."

One: A Glass Glass
Two: A Glass Bowl
Three: We're going to braise instead of broil... so as to stop the series short. No sense burning down the house.

Others have lost themselves in the depths of my ignorance.

Next Diary Project Entry

Home Diary Project Index


The above sign-off is really just the first thing that popped into my head... like it almost always is.

I can come back and change it.

But I won't.

I hardly ever do.

© copyright 2020 Brett Paufler