Brett Rants


All of the following ideas were almost turned into stand alone rants. But in the end, they were not. So instead, they are here.

This is a dirt covered wrench in a field of dirt, or in the dirt, it caught my eye, and what catches my eye is often turned into a photograph, what is perhaps more marvellous is that this particular picture has been waiting in the wings for five odd years before it found its home here... the connection to the text is in we are doing work here, outlining the page, structural construction, this section being a means, to the end, which are the following entries

An Introduction

ALIVE: 2019-04-29

I figure a novel takes a couple of hundred hours to write... perhaps, a lot more. I have other projects going (not that I am writing any novels, at the moment) that take just as long. A year ago (yeah, I think it was close to a year ago... yep, nine months, now, and counting), I decided I would read (skim, flip through) every magazine I could get my hands on (with upwards of 300 different ones being within easy reach). I thought the project would take... well, it's been so long I don't remember how long I expected it would take, but I think I expected to be done in a few weeks. And like I said, nine months later, and I wonder if I am even halfway through.

So, that one project has pushed countless others aside. These are some of them: projects that I started (or started thinking about), but never finished.

These aren't even the Big Projects. Most of these were conceived as simple Web Pages... of which this intro may well constitute half the expected length of the finished work. So, yeah. One of my other problems (or factors that play into these projects) is that a write-ups (projects, activities) tend to expand. And what follows are projects that I am now contracting, to get them out of my system and out of the way, before moving on to bigger and better things.

I would say that the following entries are High Voltage, full of emotion, but I think that they were at one time, but I have given them a lot of though lately, and thus, let the emotion go, this is a close up of electric wiring on posts, interchanges, that sort of thing

An Apology Page

DEAD: 2018-07-11

If I look back on my youth, there are things that I regret. I regret not punching that guy, not tripping that other, and not kicking a third.

I kid... mostly... but now that I think about it, not at all.

There were other times when I was clearly to blame, when there is no easy excuse, and overwhelmingly my desire is for something to have not happened. I wanted to make a listing of such things. And maybe, still will.

1: Rather than showing a friend something cool, I accidentally popped his balloon. Um, sorry about that. I, probably, don't need to go into the incident any further. Yeah, I'll drop it there. Whenever I explore the topic further, I tend to... um, be less than sympathetic.

2: I once (OK, it probably was not the only time) failed to stand up for a friend when others were teasing him. In truth, I had no intention of rising to his defence. And failing to do so is not the cause of my regret. Rather, the words that I spoke wound up being an attack. I find it hard to believe I intended to attack him. Heck. Maybe, I did. But I do not remember that being my motivation. Still, that is exactly what my words did. In an effort to belittle the betrayal, I will posit that one (meaning an I) may turn to writing (as a hobby, as I do here) when the far easier mode of verbal communication fails a person. I mean, come on, if I could get this socialization thing out of my system by pulling up a stool and sitting at a bar, I just might. Still, I do not look back on this moment with pride. It is a moment in time that I regret.

And that's the list... you know, as far as my list got.

And that's why this project died... or did not die so much, as it, actually, morphed (conceptually) into a different project in which I listed out question after question, each one beginning:
Were you the one... ?
As in:
Were you the one whose balloon I popped?

Were you the one who I failed to defend?

Were you the one whose arrow I lost?

Were you the one who died that night?

And so on.
But then, since too much is never enough, this grew (conceptually, once again) into a book length project (which currently resides somewhere on the far back-burner), in which that type of sentence was the start of each chapter... as I went on to tell each story. So, it would have been an autobiographical project of sorts.

But no. I am not going to work on that project... not, today.

This is an example of my finger painting, it is not a good one, oh, well, it sticks out as being not from my first batch, and is more or less the only one from my second, I should start again, I should start lots of things, again, the image is of a multi-colored dashed line arrow

Finger Painting Ideas

DEAD: 2018-07-23

I haven't done any Finger Painting in a while. And if I do, I'll likely begin again with whatever momentary inspiration drives me back to the paints.

Anyway, this was my list of future ideas.
After laying down a wavy solid-colour background (in retrospect, I envision something green), scratch in a face with a stylus (say a pencil), adding a touch of red or blue to the outline of the edges.

Flower Rosetta
After laying down a solid background, work thumb prints in a circle, making a star-burst test-pattern. My notes indicate yellow on purple, with maybe a touch of green.

Father's Desk
Think Van Gogh. The painting would consist of a pencil line-drawing of my father's desk in brown on yellow, with possible mixed-colour highlights.

This painting is simple and would consist soley of a bloodshot yellow-black cat's eye on a green background. I guess most of these are simple. It's finger painting. And there is not enough room on the small sheets of paper I am (or was) using for extensive scenes. Also, I pretty much suck.

Blood Red Sunset
The description (or instructions, if you will) consist solely of colours: a red, yellow, orange background and a red-blue tinted sun... with maybe an edge of green. I like the fauvist look.

City Scape
Black-grey (rectangular) buildings with vertical panels, a fog covered black-white top, and, maybe, a water smeared base. I can't see the need to add anything to this.

It doesn't get any more basic than this: a background, consisting of red bricks with white mortar... and nothing else.

Night Sky
A black smeared background, with speckled multi-coloured stars (maybe the Milky Way), stretching across and consisting of white, red, and lesser amounts of blue and green speckled dots. The real question is how to get the fine spatters of colour? This is where the idea for a toothbrush and flicking the bristles originated. I have yet to try this.

Using the tip of the finger to dot the paper pointillism-style, I think the idea was to start with the outline of my hand. Splat! And then, over-write that with finger-prints. Seriously, who knows at this point. If I had more ability, a pointillist cottage, situated next to a stream sounds nice.

Straight Edge
So, at this point, I'd done enough random abstractions. So, I was thinking some sort of colour backfill on top of a straight-edge pencil line-drawing might seem tighter... more controlled, easier to keep my conception and implementation in alignment.

Using black and heavy blue applied with a pencil, draw vertical lines in the shape of a face, filling the page, by pulling the pigments downward. So, a smear of vertical lines, perhaps on a swirling blue background.

The idea was intended to speak for itself, as I have nothing else written. And for whatever reason, at this date, far removed, I still know what I meant. Do you?

A nice view of Chicago from some bridge in Grant Park, that whole group of parks is Grant Park to me, looking over the railroad tracks, back at the city

Street II / Out & About

DEAD: 2018-09-14

I, already, did one Street Performer write-up. These were the ideas I'd written down for a second. Mixed in were ideas for a Roving Project, something I could do on the run. And the winner of that competition was The Diary Project, covered elsewhere on this website (in Brett Stuff somewhere).

As to the Roving Project:
As to the Street Performer Ideas, I came up with:

Blank Sheets of Paper
I forget the exact twist. Maybe, it was something along the lines of my not being able to afford printing, so the pages were blank. Oh, right. That wasn't it. I remember now. It's the endless possibilities: one could use the paper for notes, writing poetry, fashioning a sunshade, using it as impromptu litter, turning it into confetti, making a model airplane, and so on. After all, a Street Performer Idea is to give me something to riff on... whilst out in the wild... while trying to sell a single sheet of paper... for outrageous sums of money, because look what you can do with it!

Fake Credentials
These would be for incredibly meaningless things, such as: Window Shopper, Walker, Reader, Patron, Customer, and what started this all: Tourist. All would have a name, fake bar code, picture, and so on. So, they would look all legit, hanging from a lanyard... or clip on. Need more ideas? Human, Person, Registered Interstellar Alien... and so on, and so forth. I could, perhaps, laminate them on the spot. But the originally idea was to simply walk around with a Tourist ID Badge, imitating the conventioneers.

Life Coach
So, there's nothing really outlandish about trying to sell business consulting services, life coaching, and/or private tutoring. But I would be doing this on the street... while wearing dirty soiled clothes: in short, as a bum. Hardly the sort of person one takes seriously when it comes to planning one's life.

Dinner Companion
I'd just stand outside my pre-selected and desired eating establishment and see if I get any takers. I've seen others do something like this, stand outside a cheap fast food restaurant and ask for this or that. Well, this is the same thing... only, the upscale version.

The Honest Truth
I think the quote says it all.
I'm out here asking other folks for money. I figure anyone stupid enough to give me any has too much.
this is a light shade cover of a street tunnel light, it is split in half and then quartered on one side, with a graffiti sticker, but the cool part of it all is the wavy lines that my camera captured, interference between a flourescent bulb and the camera pick up

Believe / No Believe

DEAD: 2019-01-24

Maybe, I would have gotten further on this idea if everything in life were binary. But that's not the case. Anyhow, the gist of it all (in regards to this project, at least) is that I believe some things and don't believe others. And many of these Beliefs (or Non-Beliefs) can be easily parsed into binary categories.
Big Bang vs Steady State

Quantum Mechanics vs Determinate Universe

Free Market vs Regulated Market vs Marxism
I can't help myself but to interject: there has never been either a Free Market or an actual Communistic one, it's always been:
This Regulated Market vs That Regulated Market
And finally (for the binary choices), we have:
Open Borders vs Closed Borders
In the above, my choice has always been underlined. But then, the real answer is always (like, always) more nuanced than that... and each subject is easily the focus of an entire future rant, as (for example), I'm fine with both, neither, any, or all when it comes to:
Evolution vs Creation
The two are simply not mutually exclusive to me, as I am happy to allow a God (or The God) to work in mysterious ways and forge whatever sort of Convoluted Creation they (he, she, and/or it) may desire.

And finally (even though this started as a forced choice list), there are those things for which I have no answer:
Is Truth Universal?

What is Honour?

Can Fairness be Achieved?
Though, I am sure I will be writing some of these out and/or addressing them in rants yet to come. The project as conceived is dead.

styled off of some graffiti, it is a face, orange, sort of evil looking

The New A$$hole

DEAD: 2019-03-07

Assertiveness Training... and then some. I think that sums the idea up nicely. And speaking of nicely, perhaps (yes, just perhaps), the reason this project died is because (in the end) I am a nice guy. So as much as I understand the rules of being mean, I am (in point of fact) not. Individual opinions will differ and all that. But that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Here are the raw (supporting) ideas with only the barest of explanations.
Close Up of an Old Cash Register Dials Dollars and Cents

How to Live Rich

DEAD: 2019-03-07

Um, if a blatantly obvious title like that is not self-explanatory, the following rough outline of a How To Guide may not be for you.

The Entries
So, like, one can only lead by example and talk from their own perspective, but:
So, like, don't waste money on useless crap.

Or more clearly:
In the above, there is no guidance on how to make money (try a bunch of things and put progressively more effort into those that yield higher rewards), because that's not what I am about.

Final Debrief

DEAD: 2019-05-28

As in (almost) any project like this (and especially at the end, here), I find myself more than a bit disappointed in the poor organization of the entries. But then, pounding this out without a lot of thought or effort was a primary objective. So, I will forgive myself that.

And if I were to revive only one of these, I wonder which that would be?

Maybe the New A$$hole entry. Not so much because I care about the topic. But I found making the face fun. So really, I could see putting together a gallery of faces. But then, that's not so much a revival of an old project as the creation of (yet another, totally) new one.

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Oh, did I ever tell you why I thought The Muses left me?

It's because I wasn't fulfilling (Making Manifest in Reality) enough of their dreams.

Of course, it's not like The Muses deserted me. The new are simply not like the old... for better or worse.

© copyright 2019 Brett Paufler