Brett Rants

Mary Redeemed

Iím all Astonishment

Pride & Prejudice Revisited
Story Notes

I'm actually quite the expert on Pride & Prejudice, having read the book at least thrice and seen cinematographic interpretations pushing two-score and more (eh, perhaps I exaggerate by a score, but not a bit more).

Anyway, in my reading and viewing, I have come to two conclusions:

Mary should have married Mr. Collins; and

Lady Catherine de Bourgh (and by implication all the Ladies in the novel) are witches.

Some will, of course, take excepting to the facts at hand, but that is to be expected and of no concern to those who see things are they really are: i.e.

The Facts

In the garden, Lady Catherine de Bourgh accuses Lizzy of snaring Darcy with her feminine wiles. Why? Because, of course, she did (wiles = charms = witchcraft). But what's more, that explains poor Lord de Bourgh's fate as well (marrying a witch does tend to be fatal) and further explains why Mr. Bennett prefered a "sillier" sort of girl for a wife.

Granted, it doesn't read this way at first, but eventually I think you will see that when Mary went to town with Mr. Collins on that first outing, she was careful to smile, nod, and agree with all that he said; and as Mr Collins had never known such condensation before, quickly fell hopelessly in love with the clever girl.

Also, if one reads between the lines, it is clear that Mary sold Lydia to Mr. Wickham in order to secure (as needs be) his assitance. And really, anyone who knows the slightest thing about warlocks knows that a name like Wickham is a dead giveway, which, of course, explains his dastardly deeds (i.e. warlocks can be jerks at times).

And I won't rewrite the entire book (Pride, Prejudice, & Zombies having, perhaps, tied that particular market up at the moment), but merely point out one last scene during which Wickham steals Elizabeth's heart (clearing the way for Mary to secure Mr. Collin's as noted above), during which Mr. Collins goes on about his fine patroness a one Lady Catherine de Bourgh and her fine estate (an estate that Mary quickly realizes could soon be hers, under the tutelage of the same... just as soon as Mary gets rid of her daughter, Lady Catherine de Bourgh herself, and poor Mr. Collins.

Yes, I do believe I have the hots for Mary, crafty girl that she is...

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In the sequel (there's always a sequel), both Kitty and Georgiana come into their own (or together, I suppose it depends upon how one measures such things) and cause all sorts of havoc.

Mr. Wickham eloping with Georgiana?
Please, he was lucky to escape with his life; and hence, his well founded fear of ever meeting a Darcy again...

© copyright 2014 Brett Paufler