FILE: Let's Hang Out DATE: 2012-10-24 ARCHIVED: 2020-08-26 (c) Copyright Brett Paufler # # # # # # # # # # # # # # In the raw file from which neighbourly_notes.txt was extracted, I also had saved these rough drafts of emails never sent. A guy had asked me if I wanted to "Hang Out" or some such thing. And had given me his email address. But in the end, his end of the exchange seemed weird. And if I had ever sent either of the following emails, my end would have seemed even weirder. Perhaps, it should come as no surprise that I have many of these unsent emails lying about. Well, many might give one the wrong impression. I often write a letter (or two or three) never sending the one. But these letters are almost always linked to emotionally charged subjects of which this is not an example. I would have liked to have been this person's friend. But being a friend is not among my skill sets, so I really don't know how to get the ball rolling or know what is normal... even if I am pretty sure emails like the following are far from normal. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #Initial Email [At time and location], you said, "We should hang out." What exactly did you have in mind? # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # [REDACTED REPLIES] To the above, I received two short and unsatisfactory replies. To which, I composed the following two possibly emails, sending neither, preferring to let the opportunity (or whatever it was) fall between the cracks, instead. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #First Draft - Unsent You don't want to send emails. I don't want to talk on the phone. Fair enough. I like writing, so let me type the words. Long ago while going to night school, a lab partner ([foreign born], wife and kids, could have maybe used a few more friends, clearly I don't know you, but stop me if any of this sounds the least bit familiar {anyway, this classroom buddy}) suggested we get together over the summer break, hang out, and barbeque with the family, that sort of thing. I blew him off and said no. It was a mistake. I should have taken him up on the offer. Why? Because I liked him. So, you want to hang out? OK. Fine. When I hang out, I like to walk around town, sit by the various fountains, and read a book. Perhaps boring to some; but I like it. So, let's meet at [this park] (I don't want you knocking on my door, because we are not friends yet, I do not know you, and I would consider it an invasion of my privacy if you did knock on my door), have a chat, and go for a walk. And who knows? Maybe get to know each other. [I have my reasons], so sooner is better than later. 4PM (after work) on a Monday or Tuesday would work best for me. But I'll let you pick the exact time and day (well in advance) and I'll confirm that I don't have other plans and can make it. Or if you don't like my proposed agenda, please let me know what yours would be. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #Email Second Draft - Unsent There are answers to my previous inquiry {i.e. What exactly did you have in mind?} that would inspire me to hang out with another human being and answers that would not. If for whatever reason it would be too difficult, dangerous, inappropriate, or time consuming for you to answer my question directly and in writing, I completely understand. But then I also must assume that it would be too difficult, dangerous, inappropriate, or time consuming for me to be interested in pursuing such an arrangement any further. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # In all honesty, I am sure I was over-thinking things. He probably said the same thing to everyone he met, "Let's hang out," and was happy to see where that would take him. But since I cannot differentiate between social sleaze, players, and/or grifters from the more benign forms of extroversion, I decided to stay away. I do not regret the decision. However, to this day I regret the decision not to hang out with my classroom buddy.