DREAM JOURNAL
May 2020
(c) Copyright Brett Paufler

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{Please Note The Format
    Optional Title: Main Entry

{}: Comments Made During Edit
[]: Redacted Info, of which I expect little to none
}

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Head Set: From the last war, I'd recovered my gear: headphones and a flip up screen. It allowed me to tap into the system and control their working. For instance, while riding on top (i.e. while clutching the roof) of the amusement park size train , I was able to insure we got all red lights. I was a bit of a misfit. But then, specially protected, off limits. It was very much akin to being a Robotic Veteran. So, that's part of the flavour. Anyhow, at the library, I let those in charge know I was there by flickering the lights {on and off} in their offices. They were not amused. But... Protection. I was going to play this one boy in chess. But he did not know the rules. So, I offered $20 to the winner of Monopoly with the backtracking caveat that any non-fair trades would be prorated against thus prize, so they all couldn't gang up on me. My headset could access a program that would track this sort of thing. Moving on, I was sorting through some toys in a flea market bin. And upon waking sort of mentally finished the dream by looping it around and deciding this last sequence is where I found the headset. Once again, the price $20. Though, I needed to insert special batteries, which I just happened to have. And there was some mental debate whether the price would vary after I determined if the batteries would fit. Of course, it was Military Surplus. And hence, my headset from The War. I'd carved identifying nicks into it. And one doesn't want to mess with that sort of mojo. I feel that I can identify where many Dream Time representations come from. And the headset felt very similar to how I view videos with earphones. Oddly, the prominent eyes were switched. I do most of my close work with my right eye. Of course, this likely means the left is far more in touch with Nether Lands. Odin comes rapidly to mind. 

I would not expect most entries to be this long. But then, this is the dream that motivated initiation of this project. And it is late afternoon, rather than early morning, when I anticipate writing most of these entries. So, this dream has stayed with me. It's the type that feels like it could form the basis of a novel... or would slip easily into stories I have already constructed. 

It's the next day. And although I had dreams (I always have dreams), they were not as compelling. I barely remember them. I remember laying awake last night and wondering why I dream of Caves & Tunnels so much. Personally, I think it's more physiological than metaphorical. That the eye at rest, upon entering the Dream State is more likely to see a bright center, which can easily be interpreted as a Tunnel. Business was being conducted, trying to be resurrected. And there was much to do regarding a Scarf or Sweater. But I felt a bit out of place. Oh, hey. At one point, I was in a limo type Cadillac. And the driver did a good of backing into a tight spot. But such statements will never a meaningful post make. 

'Uh-oh!': I walked by a bunch of kids playing {in The Real}. And one kept on saying, 'Uh-oh!' which leads me to wonder if children's play and dreams are closely related. In my dreams, things tend to go wrong... and wrong... and wrong. These words will go in another file. So, there's a bit of a {cross-referencing} time-stamp, for you.

Fading Fast: It was a good night for dreams. But they are fading fast. A long time ago, in a dream far-far away, I was on a Star Wars Movie Set. They shot the series in three scales: Human, Truck, and Actual. And I was watching a Truck Size Shoot, the spaceships being carted around on the back of trucks like parade floats. Later, Great People from Civilization IV figured into it all. But I remember little. And finally, I'm only starting to remember The Great Escape. I was in prison. And an old timer was relating his past, how he'd escaped once, killing two guards on the way. But as his captors had vowed never to kill any of the prisoners (and maybe why they'd gotten so far in their escape) bad mojo resulted. Well, at least, his escape was not successful. Oh, I also spent some time on a canoe slowly floating with the water on account of the ice melting. (These are such poor descriptions.) And I found myself backpacking through the back country. Since I was in the neighborhood,  I thought I'd stop by the old General Store in Arkansas... or if I didn't want to be noticed, the one down the road in Green -----. It's odd how familiar some of these Dream Scapes are.

The description seems to be lacking. Perhaps, instead of width, I should endeavour to relate depth? The problem with that, of course, is that much of the recollection comes with the writing {from recalling the width}.

Run Away: We were holding our own against the Kill Bots. And then, we weren't. We loaded pennies into our shotguns to no avail. So, we all climbed aboard a horse drawn wagon, being careful to keep still and quiet under the covers lest we were discovered. This applied to the children mostly. Of course, we left in the morning having made it through the night. On the way, the wagon turned into a boat. And from there, we just had to ascend the peak, each of us carrying a backpack full of food. 

We were fighting the Kill Bots in a low walled area, almost like game of Dodge Ball. The walls were low concrete barriers, which had been backyard almost picket fences, something which started as a fence I could see through as I stared out onto the lake. Upon waking, I can identify this Transparent Fence as being related to a Photogrphic Image of a Moss Covered Fence I deleted just yesterday. I rather liked the picture, having kept it for a decade or so. But decided yesterday it was not good enough to use. I am sure this sequence in the dream was some kind of mental send off. 

As I awaken, I load the concerns of The Waking World. The Dream dissipates and I return to The Here and Now. But that whole returning is a bit of a misnomer. I forget The Past and remember The Present. My mind shifts, transforms. Likely, in a way akin to the transformation that takes place from Living to Death or This Life to The Next. Essentially, upon awakening, my mind slowly loads The Presets, kicking out any Dream Remnants to make room. I, also, view it as a struggle for dominance from different parts of my brain. Math (Working Math) doesn't have much of a Dream Time Presence, after all.

Let us play the long-shot and assume there is a Life after Death. This being the case, Dreams seem a likely conduit between the two.

Ashram: The Nuns were at the wrong Ashram, so I followed them. And although I had three Silver Coins, I needed more. So, I juggled what I had for the amusement of others in the hopes of a contribution.

Back in The Real, I have two coins, only one which is Dollar Size. There is some desire to let my dreams guide me... and if that is the case, there is a definite need to redefine what the coins symbolize and what would constitute {i.e. justify or cause, I presume} getting more. 

A Good Night For Dreams: I don't recall flames very often in my dreams. I was playing Civilization as a board game next to a road. And the next thing I knew (even if there were quite a few things in-between), I was tending quite the campfire. Fire really is an oddity in my dreams. Other moments of interest include being buddy-buddy with a long lost buddy, entertaining fans under the roller coaster tracks by doing slight of hand tricks. Hauling gold as a space pirate. And recording the characteristics of a few new characters. This last (or these last) correspond to the three squishy miniatures I snagged from the toy box back in The Real. 

This doesn't have to be a daily debriefing. And as time goes by, I'm sure that's increasingly unlikely. But about all I can remember at this point is that some aspects {of last night dreams} were pretty spectacular. On the other hand, this is one of those nights where I laid awake for a few hours, contemplating the emptiness of it all. 

I'm as groggy as can be, having magically gone from can't go back to sleep to can't stay awake. 

Ash was falling from the sky in lieu of rain. I recalled this Dream Tidbit hours after the fact... perhaps, days.

Waiting in line for an elevator. This happens a lot, both lines and elevators. Though, it was the elevator, which first prompted the note. More importantly, they were looking for someone, according to their sources in Grey -----, a clear RPG reference, which indicated to me upon waking, they (that portion of my mind) were looking for me (the ego, me, myself, and I). What if all this running, hiding, and evading I do in my dreams has to do with My Ego being a wanted man? On the run? Hiding? From the rest of my mind? Justifiably in revolt? I've long thought I should stop running in my dreams. Just take it. If dreams are a walk-through my mind, {all this running and hiding might indicate} my mind might not be happy about the supervision. Does any of this make sense? TRON came to mind?

I was at the opening introductory part of a convention last night on three separate occasions. Though, the last time, it was the next day. I was trying to organize my time at the convention, which talks when, and I especially wanted to walk down the preview tables, which were deconstructed after the talks began. Very crowded. Tons of people (see entry from two back, also this night {an entry which now makes no sense, so I think I must have thought I'd made a remark about how sparsely populated my dreams can be}). Doing things in Dream Space must be handled differently. Upon waking, I likened the organizational dilemma to washing dishes or packing food into the freezer, both ever changing problems. Suffice to say, I wasted my time in this wonderful Dream Scape trying to maximize a future which would never come. 

The best dream from last night (I wrote the bit about sub-funtions in the middle of the night lest I forget) was a sequence in which I lay awake (in my dreams) seeing visions on the walls, my subconscious clearly trying to communicate with me, going so far as to spell out words like a Uji Board. These played in the background as other thoughts and visions took over. I remember little at this point {after the fact}, but I took it as a massive confirmation of the sub-function proposition. I will further state the belief (hypothesis, proposition) that others in the world {The Real World} are manifestations of these sub-functions, a sophist view in which the external can be effected by changes in the internal. Symbolism, here we come. Also, I need to search the term Awareness of Awareness on the Web.

{I cannot remember the search being overly productive.  Oh, I got results.  But I read no book to the end.  There is no tidbit of knowledge that stands out.}

The only fragment I remember had to do with finding a parking spot; and then, choosing the right one. I haven't driven in months... and not seriously, for years. But this matches my old behaviour in The Real. I liked having empty spots all around... two to a side, if possible. 

The Temple was flooding. And I was likely fighting some duel. But isn't it odd how Death & Destruction never arrive? Sure. It got worse and worse. But moment to moment, it was all highly survivable. It always is. No need to run. No need to hide. I wonder if a water based obstacle was linked to my holding my breath earlier in the day when passing another on the street, lest I get The Vid. 

Almost Lucid: I was willing to believe the giant turtle balloon. I even tried to get a picture. But when it turned into Godzilla, the skyscraper I was in started shaking. Unfortunately, that's when I woke up. Fortunately, it was a fake wake up. And could explore my environment. I looked in a mirror, to good effect. And before I knew it, I was running downhill, because that would be easier. This {these words, this entry} really doesn't explain the fun I had for that ever so brief period of time, singing as both I and the walls shook. Turns out, I was cold. 

I exaggerate... a little. But I am proud of the purple irrigation hose I figured out how to fix. Happy about the racetrack rocket display. Annoyed at the teacher who wanted me to continue a worthless programming project.  And not as embarrassed as I might otherwise be at a totally failed LEGO speech. But really, this entry is just to highlight how often the same group of characters show up. My Casting Director's vision can be quite limited, at times. 

Collector Coins: Wooden Poker Chip Spinners... there was a class about collectibles and these were featured. I wasn't supposed to be able to get in. But you know, dream. 

I missed the shot. But to be fair, a mustard bottle is about as non-standard of a billiard ball as a person can get. 

It seems unlikely I will complete the mission. I got the time, but almost immediately forgot the message. Still, let's see what happens at 4:30, today. 

But then (upon reflection), I'm slowly becoming convinced 4:30 was as close as my dreams could get to 4:20, which if correct, changes the meaning of any mission significantly. 

{Nothing happened of any significance, though I made sure I was taking a walk at the time... even if I am not sure at this remove I'd actually made it out of the house by 4:30.  After all, this was The Real.  And I kept on finding reasons to delay my departure.}

Very often, when I switch scenes (travelling from one place to the next), I lose my travelling companions. Though, this may have more to do with not travelling with them (but rather, travelling in concert with them, parallel play and all that) than anything else. Are we interacting on the way? Or just headed in the same direction?

Down at the -- DMV, they are pretty efficient. But they definitely only want to talk to you once.

I made the transition from Penguin to Hit Man. Well, I may have only moved the Penguin forward. Either way, the part that stays with me is the underwater escape, narrowly avoiding the fishing nets {of which I was supremely aware of the danger}.

Triplex Theaters: At the end of a Strip Mall lies a Movie Theater I go to on occasion in My Dreams. It's rather cavernous. And its three screens share the same wall. So, like, there are no walls between viewing areas. Often, it's fairly empty. But last night it was packed. And the manager opened up to me {we had a brief conversation}, which was nice. Turns out it's not the only theater with the three shared screens in town. But rather than a chain, they are unrelated. Sometimes, I only buy food there. Often, I fall into the movie that's playing and that becomes the dream. Usually, I show up between shows. Last night, I walked out. I think I was heading towards another one of those similar theaters to watch some big festival/series. But in The World of Dreams one never knows. Oh, finally, both admission and food is incredibly cheap: $2.50 buying plenty of snacks along with admission, which is usually set at $1.  {Also, I always seem to have more than enough money.  So, I should just start tipping... if I can somehow manage that.}

I am inclined to interpret The Theater as a node in my brain. After all, my conscious mind is powered by metaphor, so why shouldn't my unconscious prefer that mode, as well.

Metaphor: Applying a working model to a sometimes similar situation. 

Highway Rest Stops: By using Graph Theory, many conceptual ideas can be broken down into Nodes and Edges. But I don't want to get carried away. Still, last night saw a series of Rest Stops. Being part of a DEA Raiding Party, I rode a Horse down into one. We wanted the element of surprise. But the way was steep enough, by the end I would have been happy to stay in the saddle. Also, when I say Rest Stops, I am talking about Big To-Dos. In one, I took in part of a movie. Anyway, the reason for noting The Rest Stops is the people I saw.  An old acquaintance of an acquaintance, who could not be bothered to wait around. An older kid from High School Days who wore their age like a flickering aura of sorts. And finally, one who is an enemy (as I see them seeing me, my view is more benign) who waited for me; and finally, we broke bread at a restaurant. So, giving a bit more context on these Rest Stops, they are almost like Airports. Certainly, there were floods of passengers on occasion.  But also, seemingly, there was an ease of Access and Exit for everyone but myself. So, like, very nice of the enemy to wait for me... even if we didn't see eye-to-eye on a single conversational topic as we waited to be served. Luckily, we were both happy to nibble on the bread and crackers left behind by the last customer. Such is The World of Dreams. 

I find myself riding on airplanes, often enough. The seating tends to be non-standard, more space-shippy or like a classroom. And the take-offs and landings tend to be steep, a large swoop often being required to avoid a mountain range. Leading up to the flight, I needed to pack. Packing is, also, fairly common. I will assume it is the brain practicing stacking skills and sorting items in hierarchical order, if that makes any sense. In truth, these mundanities are exactly the type of Dream Behaviour I could do without. Perhaps, I should be thankful rather than cleaning garages (I don't own that much stuff), the worse it gets are a few suitcases. Also, since it seems related, I'd just assume not worry about getting my phone wet in The Dream World. And while I'm listing grievances, it would be nice if bare feet (or being clothed and/or unclothed) were instantaneously interchangeable. Meaning, I find it painful to walk on gravel roads in My Dreams and tying my laces seems to take forever. 

Good Luck finding the same thing twice. 

As another me, I discovered writing on the edge of a fold of fabric, gently receding, as I gazed on the record of my dreams in my dreams. It was to be important. But the image has faded so far, I can barely recall. What I do know is that I am not interested in buying Christmas Paper in July for 79c. Oh, and if the rolls are truly massive, when a person asks about the Square Footage, just tell them. Of course, let's be honest. The demonstration was far more impressive than any number could have ever been. 

Dreams like Movies, organized like Movies, going so far as to be introduced as the sequel. Oddly, I'm not sure I like the previous Dream, Movie, or whatever we are talking about, here. 

If I'm not all the way asleep, I sometimes see Visions, like Dreams in the distance. Today, during a nap, I had a Vision of a Wonderful Tree. More of a Young Maple than Yggdrasil. But one never knows. 

Hedonism is a good word, not a descriptive word, but a good word. Following that rather long Hedonistic Sequence, I paid for my Sins by starting a New Job at a Convenience/Department/Everything Store. But the manager never got around to getting me the equipment I needed, so I never had to clean up the Pet Supplier area, a task to which I was not looking forward. I did have a Face Mask against The Vid. And those Orange Rubber Gloves were pretty impressive. 

While riding up in an elevator, a lion traded an elephant a deep fried egg salad bouquet for a similarly encrusted transistor radio. The elephant was a bit reluctant, even though most observers thought the lion got the worse end of the deal. This may or may not be accurate. But it sounds like a pretty cool dream, doesn't it?

I kicked my Sweetie back in The Real, prior to waking up. Problems in the dream world (a persistent and belligerent invader of my space) carried through into the real. Not a good sign.

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{If I could cash in a few wishes or craft an accomplishment (life goal), I would consider it quite the coop to be able to spend a significant portion of my dream time lucid.

Further, making these notes short (keeping on top of them on a monthly basis) is the only way this will work.  They are too boring to collect over much longer.  And if longer, I would find it harder and harder to read them (a sub-goal, in of itself, as it reminds me of the dreams one final time), which I consider a prerequisite to posting.}