The Rules
For Borrowing The Boat
A Cheat Sheet & Guide

Engine Room

• DON'T ENTER!
• Ever!
• Manna!
• You use it, You Replace It

Kitchen

• Ice Box
• Help yourself.
• Everything is perishable, so eat it.
• Frozen Meat
  • Replace in kind.
  • It's nice to have a meal ready to go when you first arrive, don't you think?
    • And plenty of snacks.
• Sink
• No organic material goes down the drain.
  • EVER!
  • Wipe out pots and pans first.
• Nothing, non-organic goes down the drain, either.
  • So, avoid using the disposal.
• In short, greasy flotsam and such attracts the wrong sort of visitor.
• Hot-Cold Stove
• Be careful of the obsidian glass top.
• Only use flat bottom pots.
• They'll be found in the cupboard next to the stove.
• Keep It Clean!
• Don't let grease splatter.
• So, avoid making making bacon, fried chicken, or something like that.
• Fish tastes better barbecued, anyway.
  • Grill located on Aft Deck.
• Magical Gadgets
• George probably has it.
• Look around.
• Help yourself.
• BE CAREFUL!
• He's a wizard.
• The safety features have almost always been disabled.
• Food, Pantry, & Dry Goods
• Help yourself.
• Replenish in kind.

Main Cabin

• General
• Take off your shoes while on the boat...
• But especially inside.
• Sofa
• Don't get it dirty.
• Comfy Chair
• No eating in it.
• This is where Crazy George tends to sleep.
• Table
• Lane is particularly fond of this piece of furniture.
• You remember Lane...
  • George's wife...
  • A four armed demoness...
  • She will probably hunt you down and rip off your arms if you mess up her favourite table.
• So, protect the finish.
• Use dish towels or rags as place mats.
• Use cooling pads for any personal electronics or nethervoid devices.
  • Check in the cabinets next to the Big Screen.
• Do Not Write On It!
• A single layer of paper will not protect the finish...
• Or keep your arms intact.
• Coffee Table
• It's an antique. The finish is worth something. It changes colour according to the proximity of a Magical Charge. So, don't get set any Powered Items down on it. Of course, I know this because I've been a bit careless over the years. Rest assured, the color changes back and the swirling visions will dissipate. But there is no sense taking any chances.
• Do NOT perform any incantations on the Coffee Table.
• Crystal Balls
• A Short-Hop Scrying Unit is in the Living Room, back by the Kitchen, next to the Brazier.
• Will likely need to be charged.
• Incantation on parchment underneath or nearby.
• It tends to be a bit finicky at first, but after a while (a few shakes, threats, muttered curses, etc.), it will settle down.

Bathroom

• General
• If Central Air is on, keep door closed or hot/cold air will vent out.
• Use large fan to dry out tub and defog room.
• Bathtub
• There will be No Bathing of Lizards, Snakes, or Reptiles.
• Please, dry the tub with rags.
• Hang the bucket to catch drips.
  • Toss any Frogs over the side.
• Sink
• Mirror
• Lane is vain; and there are a lot (and I mean, a lot) of candles surrounding that mirror.
• Obviously, the more candles used the more the room will heat up and the Hotter one will become.
  • Those visiting with Teenage Daughters have been warned.
• Toilet
• It's old fashioned.
• Pull the handle up after flushing to reset.
  • Otherwise, you're just opening a channel to whatever is swimming along outside.
• The float sometimes sticks. Push down on this, as well, to reset.

Linen Closet

• It's hiding behind the stairs that lead to the main deck.
• Need extra towels? Or just the one?
  • This is where you'll find Clean Sheets up the wazoo.
• Wash whatever you use.
  • Last day excepted.

Bedroom

• Bed
• Don't jump up and down on any of the beds.
  • The penalty is being made to Walk the Plank.
    • Day or Night!
• Change the sheets at least once a week and wash everything (sheets, pillowcases, blankets).
• Wash on Hot using Lime, Brimstone, and Extra Fine Ash.
• Dry on medium
  • They'll probably need to go through twice.
• Chairs
• Lamps
• Closet
• The Vacuum (the Little Devil) is stored in the Big Wooden Chest.
• If it's been a while since anyone has used The Boat, you might want to vacuum when you first arrive.
• Vacuum when leaving.
• Remember to put the Little Devil away!
• Cloaks, Armour, & Such
• When in The Realms, it is best to dress like you are from The Realms.
• There are plenty of outfits good for wearing when going ashore for Shopping, Dining, or Drinking with the Boys
• Wash if worn.
• Clean if bloodied.
• Don't dress for a fight unless you're looking for a fight.

Hall Closet

• For Companions
• If required, ceramic basin on floor is to be used for indoor toiletry.
• Bucket on first shelf is to be used to carry sludge up and out.
  • Hey, you're the one who thought having a Familiar would be cool.

Dockside Amenities

• Parking
• Only use assigned spots.
• Guest parking is by temporary permit.
• If your vehicle is not there upon return, you done messed up, and you might want to start your search by talking to The Charlies in The Lagoon.
• Wading Pool
• There are rules.
  • Obey Them.
• Shoes, Flip Flops, Sandals, or other foot coverings are required while in the common areas.
  • No one is impressed by your mangy claws.
• Don't come back dripping wet.
  • Dry off at the pool first.
• Ceremonial Garden
• It's Operational.
  • Don't feed anything.
  • Don't be a nuisance.
• It's nice.
  • Well worth the walk.
• Laundry
• We have an account.
  • If you avail yourself, you will be charged.
    • You don't want to deal with collections.
• Don't be late for your pickup.
  • Storage is extra.
• No more than two armfuls at a time by all occupants of any one boat.
  • Don't ask me.
  • I don't make the rules.
• It is your responsibility to insure all linens (sheets, towels, etc.) are washed.
• Except from the last night.
• But those dirty ones on the floor are all yours.
  • The price of admission.
• Manny is quite nice.
  • Just don't be late or she turns into a real Grouch.
    • You know, the kind with teeth.
• Garbage
• It all goes down to The Lagoon.
• No big stuff.
• One armload at at a time.
• The Charlies are efficient.
  • No need to sort recyclables or whatnot.
  • But no one wants nappies tossed in with the leftover Fish Stew.
  • Be courteous.
  • Remember, these little guys are the ones who get to decide if your vehicle is parked over the line or not.
    • You do not want to start a war.