For Borrowing The Boat
A Cheat Sheet & Guide
- DON'T ENTER!
- You use it, You Replace It
- Ice Box
- Everything is perishable, so eat it.
- Frozen Meat
- It's nice to have a meal ready to go when you first arrive, don't you think?
- No organic material goes down the drain.
- Wipe out pots and pans first.
- Nothing, non-organic goes down the drain, either.
- So, avoid using the disposal.
- In short, greasy flotsam and such attracts the wrong sort of visitor.
- Hot-Cold Stove
- Be careful of the obsidian glass top.
- Only use flat bottom pots.
- They'll be found in the cupboard next to the stove.
- Keep It Clean!
- Don't let grease splatter.
- So, avoid making making bacon, fried chicken, or something like that.
- Fish tastes better barbecued, anyway.
- Grill located on Aft Deck.
- Magical Gadgets
- George probably has it.
- Look around.
- Help yourself.
- BE CAREFUL!
- The safety features have almost always been disabled.
- Food, Pantry, & Dry Goods
- Help yourself.
- Replenish in kind.
- Take off your shoes while on the boat...
- Comfy Chair
- This is where Crazy George tends to sleep.
- Lane is particularly fond of this piece of furniture.
- You remember Lane...
- She will probably hunt you down and rip off your arms if you mess up her favourite table.
- So, protect the finish.
- Use dish towels or rags as place mats.
- Use cooling pads for any personal electronics or nethervoid devices.
- Check in the cabinets next to the Big Screen.
- Do Not Write On It!
- A single layer of paper will not protect the finish...
- Or keep your arms intact.
- Coffee Table
- It's an antique. The finish is worth something. It changes colour according to the proximity of a Magical Charge. So, don't get set any Powered Items down on it. Of course, I know this because I've been a bit careless over the years. Rest assured, the color changes back and the swirling visions will dissipate. But there is no sense taking any chances.
- Do NOT perform any incantations on the Coffee Table.
- Crystal Balls
- A Short-Hop Scrying Unit is in the Living Room, back by the Kitchen, next to the Brazier.
- Will likely need to be charged.
- Incantation on parchment underneath or nearby.
- It tends to be a bit finicky at first, but after a while (a few
shakes, threats, muttered curses, etc.), it will settle down.
- If Central Air is on, keep door closed or hot/cold air will vent out.
- Use large fan to dry out tub and defog room.
- There will be No Bathing of Lizards, Snakes, or Reptiles.
- Please, dry the tub with rags.
- Hang the bucket to catch drips.
- Toss any Frogs over the side.
- Lane is vain; and there are a lot (and I mean, a lot) of candles surrounding that mirror.
- Obviously, the more candles used the more the room will heat up and the Hotter one will become.
- Those visiting with Teenage Daughters have been warned.
- Pull the handle up after flushing to reset.
- Otherwise, you're just opening a channel to whatever is swimming along outside.
- The float sometimes sticks. Push down on this, as well, to reset.
- It's hiding behind the stairs that lead to the main deck.
- Need extra towels? Or just the one?
- This is where you'll find
Clean Sheets up the wazoo.
- Don't jump up and down on any of the beds.
- The penalty is being made to Walk the Plank.
- Change the sheets at least once a week and wash everything (sheets,
- Wash on Hot using Lime, Brimstone, and Extra Fine Ash.
- Dry on medium
- They'll probably need to go through twice.
- The Vacuum (the Little Devil) is stored in the Big Wooden Chest.
- If it's been a while since anyone has used The Boat, you might want to vacuum when you first arrive.
- Remember to put the Little Devil away!
- Cloaks, Armour, & Such
- When in The Realms, it is best to dress like you are from The Realms.
- There are plenty of outfits good for wearing when going ashore for Shopping, Dining, or Drinking with the Boys
- Don't dress for a fight unless you're looking for a fight.
- For Companions
- If required, ceramic basin on floor is to be used for indoor toiletry.
- Bucket on first shelf is to be used to carry sludge up and out.
- Hey, you're the one who thought having a Familiar would be cool.
- Guest parking is by temporary permit.
- If your vehicle is not there upon return, you done messed up, and you might want to start your search by talking to The Charlies in The Lagoon.
- Wading Pool
- Shoes, Flip Flops, Sandals, or other foot coverings are required while in the common areas.
- No one is impressed by your mangy claws.
- Don't come back dripping wet.
- Dry off at the pool first.
- Ceremonial Garden
- We have an account.
- If you avail yourself, you will be charged.
- You don't want to deal with collections.
- Don't be late for your pickup.
- No more than two armfuls at a time by all occupants of any one boat.
- It is your responsibility to insure all linens (sheets, towels, etc.) are washed.
- Except from the last night.
- But those dirty ones on the floor are all yours.
- Manny is quite nice.
- Just don't be late or she turns into a real Grouch.
- You know, the kind with teeth.
- It all goes down to The Lagoon.
- One armload at at a time.
- The Charlies are efficient.
- No need to sort recyclables or whatnot.
- But no one wants nappies tossed in with the leftover Fish Stew.
- Remember, these little guys are the ones who get to decide if your vehicle is parked over the line or not.
- You do not want to start a war.
© copyright 2019 Brett Paufler