FILE: The Mind DATE: 2020-12-31 ARCHIVED: 2021-01-22 (c) Copyright Brett Paufler # # # # # # # # # # # # # # As of late, I've been meditating, falling inward, and paying closer attention to the visions that play upon my closed eyelids. This was never intended to be a comprehensive theory; but rather, a snapshot in time of my current take. I will list the file completely; and then, provide commentary as seems appropriate. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Narrative Overflow Disappears Visions to Dreams (a guess) Fade Into Black Activities Writing CIV IV Not Walking Not Rote Tasks Showering Dishes Attending to External Reality But linked very much with memory Words Numbers But maybe not Visual Memory Internal Mind Memory Daydream (False Memory) v. Memory in Error Logical Thought Abstractions Patterns Metaphors Perversions Glorifications Vision Quest External Not that I attend that much Internal Monotonic Light Static Resolving to Abstract Patterns Visions Subtly Changing Framed Distant Not In Road Racing Turns Ocean Waves Waves Somatic Rocking Hope Doesn't End Dreams Fully Immersive Lucid Types Transit. Bus. Airplane. Car. Eating. Voiding. Packing. Sorting. Ordering. Grading. Typing. So Classification. Problem solving. Body Breathing Heart Beat Thus, wake up racing Audio In Dream World But no precursors Not Thinking in both directions seems sort of key. In and Out. In The Real World and in that of the mind. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Narrative Overflow {This is the part of my brain that uses words and provides a running commentary of my life.} Disappears {under these conditions} Visions to Dreams (a guess) {Visions are clearly defined visualizations, when the static behind my eyeballs coalesces.} Fade Into Black Activities Writing {Writing is full on Narration. But I don't narrate the narration, if you get what I mean.} CIV IV Not Walking {I talk to myself non-stop.} Not Rote Tasks Showering {I'm talking to myself or daydreaming almost constantly. Even now, scenarios are vying for attention, competing for mind-space against the task at hand.} Dishes Attending to External Reality {At the first flash of the butterfly's wings, I am all there; but quickly, I am back in the land of words, trying to capture the moment.} But linked very much with memory Words Numbers {I cannot count without internally voicing the numbers. This is pretty much what counting means.} But maybe not Visual Memory Internal Mind {My different mind states} Memory {The memories themselves do not contain narration. But I do narrate what happens: comment, judge, and so on} Daydream (False Memory) v. Memory in Error Logical Thought Abstractions {Which is often composed of visualizations and narration.} Patterns Metaphors Perversions Glorifications {So, a memory is distinct from narration and comes about in a space we can call the third eye. It is internal. Visualizations are much more external. After all, I step into a Dream (which can follow a Visualizaiton). For a memory, there is not enough substance in the thought to make a transition to 'there'.} Vision Quest {Having to do with visualizations.} External {Floaters interpreted as animals or insects, for instance.} Not that I attend that much {I interpret them as momentary visual malfunctions. If they stuck around, I might follow them or attend to them more fully, as there are obvious relations (in my mind, considering how I interpret them) to ghosts and/or spirits.} Internal {This traces the evolution of sights behind my closed eyes.} Monotonic Light Static Resolving to Abstract Patterns Visions Subtly Changing Framed Distant Not In Road Racing {This is an easy one. My mind knows how a Mountain Road goes.} Turns Ocean Waves {Another easy Vision to create: i.e. once decided, I can usually make it happen.} Waves Somatic Rocking Hope Doesn't End {In that, sometimes the Vision fades precisely because I am hoping it does not and my mind focuses on that hope.} {The visions tend to evolve from the shifting static filled patterns. Often they flash in... and becoming aware of them kills them... or I simply fall out. That is to say, the end is not as clear as the beginning. Some time later, I note I am not tracking the visions but something else, say a memory or daydream.} Dreams Fully Immersive Lucid Types {I am beginning to interpret Dreams as my entry to The Brain's OS.} Transit. Bus. Airplane. Car. Eating. Voiding. Packing. Sorting. Ordering. Grading. Typing. So Classification. Problem solving. Body Breathing Heart Beat Thus, wake up racing {If I hold my breath In Dreamland, I wake up, having held it in The Real.} Audio In Dream World But no precursors {I do not have the same depth of experience when it comes to auditory sensations. I am a visually oriented person... well, at least, more so.} Not Thinking in both directions seems sort of key. In and Out. In The Real World and that of the mind. {There is the underlying belief that maybe (yes, just maybe, bordering on certainty) that I am the problem and all concerns would fade if so would I. Or to put it another way, I am the wall that separates me from Unity (the part from the whole). And if only I could lose myself, I would gain everything else. It's a transcendent idea.} # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # 2021-01-22 (c) Copyright Brett Paufler