FILE: Phone Log START: 2016-10-24 FINISH: 2017-10-14 ARCHIVE: 2020-09-05 (c) Copyright Brett Paufler # # # # # # # # # # # # # # Notes from a series of phone conversations, which is something I am prone to do. Though, I will note: this file has a beginning and an end. So, prone to do does not mean definitively will do. [redacted] per phrase [redacted] [redacted], [redacted] being a likely encounter in the text below. {Comments made during the [redaction process] are bracketed thusly.} # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # {Original Header} [redacted] Debriefing Running Phone Conversation Notes Date & Time (10-24-16 for 1 hour) Rough Estimate of Duration (for example, one hour or fifteen minutes) Where/What (collateral damage, what was I doing prior) Bullet Point Abstraction (one to three main learning points) # # # # # # # # # # # # # # 10-24-16 for 1 hour I was walking in a park on a sunny autumn day while we talked. 1) I continue to interpret many of the things [redacted] says as subtle insults: 'you couldn't...', [redacted] you want [redacted], and so on. 2) We work best building on each other's strengths, encouraging success in the other. 3) Perhaps I need a pre-loaded success to talk about... 10-28-16 for twenty minutes Text exchange while I was hanging out at the library led to a phone conversation. 1) I felt compelled to call, as I believed [redacted] was requesting hand holding on [redacted]. 2) The above is also part lie. It was a good enough excuse. I was ambivalent. That tipped the balance. 3) Fact is, I enjoy the banter and am enjoying the process of enjoying [redacted]. 11-17-16 for a short hour Was time to call, so after one round trip of short texts after starting off for the library, I called. 1) We talked of [redacted]. So many folks disappointed. 2) [redacted] is very monochromatic [redacted], which led to talk of multiculturalism. 1 & 2) Taken together mean [redacted] and I still like talking about certain subjects with each other (maybe best out of the alternatives, for me, at least). 3) I am going to help [redacted] set up the structure for [redacted's] file organization. I am looking forward to this. But, of course, [redacted] did mention how surprised [redacted] was at how messy my files were. I'm taking it as an insult, which I shouldn't, as [redacted] is asking me for help. Maybe it's an opportunity for [redacted] to self boost: as in, [redacted's] system doesn't have to be perfect, just good enough. Or maybe, [redacted] was just telling it like [redacted] saw it: surprised at how it looked when [redacted] finally saw it. 4) This commentary isn't de-constructed enough. If I keep on in this way, these notes will devolve into a play-by-play. !!! MORE DECONSTRUCTION !!! 11-21-16 for an hour and a half at [redacted], we had previously arranged to have this discussion concerning organization the last time we talked. 1) I felt like a human sponge as [redacted] purged [redacted's] [redacted] of the last week: best to grin and take it in the future. 2) Organizational advice was a mixed bag. It was difficult to explain my system to [redacted], but I enjoyed being valued for my expertise. 3) We ended the conversation with an informal informational exchange, which was a lot more fun than the previous two segments. So, I should try to nudge into this sooner in the future. 12-7-16 Texted at library after [redacted] forwarded some info, which led to an hour long talk at night... and then for a quarter hour more. 1) I removed [redacted] [redacted] from [redacted]'s [redacted] in [redacted], but that doesn't mean [redacted]. We had a long conversation, tedious in parts, but for the most, enjoyable. 2) [redacted] talked about [redacted] and [redacted]. I felt nostalgia for [redacted] as [redacted] did. [redacted] and I left on much better terms than we had for years. 3) Finally, [redacted] shines when it comes to the factual exchange, the trade of information (books, how to, insights, life tricks). [redacted] told me about [redacted]. 12-19-16 for 75 minutes or so Was at home. [redacted] texted, saying to call back as [redacted] had an idea for a writing project. And the hook worked... 1) [redacted] is very fact centered: not so much analysis centered, as fact centered. 2) I wondered if [redacted] wasn't drifting off the deep end (as in, going crazy), as [redacted] was far too concerned about [redacted]. Conspiracy theory anyone? 3) Eh, maybe we'll get a writing project out of it. One never knows. We could be each other's punch counter-punch. Odd if I turned out to be the sane one. 12-22-16 for half hour Was at home. [redacted] was not around. Got text from [redacted] and gave [redacted] a call. But that's not accurate. I was planning on calling [redacted] at this time anyhow. 1) We got nowhere on the book project. It will be like pulling teeth, so I'm not sure what I want out of it. 2) Told [redacted] [redacted], [redacted] [redacted]. So, a lot more open about all that. [redacted] took it well. I said I hadn't told [redacted], because I hadn't wanted to [redacted]. And [redacted] said, quite sneakily, 'Why would 'you' [redacted]?' 3) And then, [redacted] reverted to a dissertation of facts. Need to reel that in. 12-25-16 for a short hour It's Christmas and I had it on my todo list to contact [redacted]. So, I sent a text. [redacted] responded with 'Can you talk?' So, we did. 1) On conclusion, [redacted] did not [redacted], which is fine; but I noticed and I don't think it was a slip. It does not matter that I cut it short (after an hour). It was an hour. It was time to go. 2) At one point, [redacted] stated [redacted] and I thought that was an interesting bit of presumption... or not so much presumption; but rather, subtle shifting of the locus of desire {i.e. control}. 3) There remains far too much emphasis on 'Facts'. Odd, do I want a more feeling based exchange? 4) [redacted] called back a few minutes later. I did not answer. Though, I will listen to the message if there is one... 1-12-17 for an hour odd I told [redacted] last Sunday I'd call this week; and then, got sick. I'm just now getting better. 1) Most of the conversation consisted of listening to [redacted's] brain dump about [redacted], [redacted], and [redacted]. 2) [redacted] visited [redacted] yesterday to [redacted] [redacted] has on a [redacted] (i.e. [redacted]). 3) So, perhaps I should visit [redacted] and check things out. 1-27-17 for about an hour I was thinking of texting [redacted] while I was at the library; and when I looked at my phone, [redacted] had sent me a text: [redacted] 1) Continues to be [redacted] & [redacted] heavy. Most of the conversation was [redacted] providing 'facts'. 2) I requested more conclusions and action items. You know, what's to be done? 3) I can understand [redacted's] concern; but I don't share it to the same level. So, for the most, I'm mentally pulling back from the issue... or so, I shall claim. 2-2-17 a short hour Texting off and on at library, which ended abruptly. Called much later when at home. 1) [redacted] was in [redacted] eating [redacted]. 2) It was all about the news of the day (i.e. [redacted]). 3) I don't want to analyse the call more than this. 2-10-17 for a short hour Called while walking back from [redacted] to the library. 1) All we talked about was [redacted] and [redacted], but I'm getting used to that. 2) I didn't really have an agenda. 3) And I'm enjoying texting with [redacted] on a more frequent basis. 2-11-17 for ten minutes [redacted] had been sending texts all day; and finally, sent one about characters in a book running away with the plot, which sparked my interest. 1) Pretty much just listened for ten minutes. 2) [redacted's] level of [redacted] is amazing. 3) [redacted] must be [redacted] these days. 2-17-17 Talked to [redacted] for an hour, while I was walking, after [redacted] texted. 1) Discussed [redacted] mostly. 2) After I'd indicated wanting to end the call, [redacted] mentioned [redacted] [redacted] [redacted's] for a bit this summer. So, [redacted] was likely looking for topics of interest to me. 3) It continues to be difficult to say goodbye to [redacted] as fast as I would like. 3-15-17 It's been awhile, so time to talk and we did for a long hour (1:11:12). 1) The conversation was [redacted], but I knew that was coming. 2) I only got a few glimpses of [redacted's] [redacted], but I found those interesting. 3) [redacted] never considered me an 'Intellectual', because [redacted] doesn't believe I am rigorous in my thinking. Whereas, I would claim to be an intellectual, because I can relate to others at a higher level (say, at freshman college, high school sophomore, or whatever level) compared to the media average of Sixth Grade. {I have made peace with not being a Mainstream Intellectual. I mean, in truth, I am not. I do not measure up to the average pundit. But as rigorous as the average pundit might be, it's all a lie, because they really are not. Rigor is more touching on the points a given listener is listening for. And the truth is that I could care less about the average listener.} {Rigor only makes sense at the edge of the unknown. And if that differs for two people, one of them is going to be bored out of their minds... or at least, I will be if the person charged with listening to remedial thought is me.} 3-24-17 Talked for an hour on the walk back from the library and while standing in the park. 1) [redacted] gave me the [redacted] debriefing. 2) [redacted] called back for a few last words. I'm the one who wanted to go after the hour. 3) I'm [redacted] [redacted] or whatever [redacted], [redacted] no longer does. 4) [redacted] managed to work my {presumed} browsing the Internet for porn into the conversation. My how little [redacted] knows. 5) I found [redacted] useful as another ear to bounce ideas off of. For a while, I was wondering why I bothered with the calls. Anyway, the idea of the moment is 'The Constitution doesn't matter and money has supplanted honor in my mind as an overriding political motive.' 3-27-17 Lying in bed for a half hour. 1) I regretted calling. It felt like a mistake. 2) [redacted] said [redacted] [redacted], though. So, [redacted] needed it. 3) All [redacted]. I am sick of the [redacted]. 4-21-17 [redacted] called, while I was [redacted] and we talked for twenty minutes after I'd just gotten done talking with [redacted] for [redacted]. 1) [redacted] might have been looking out for me, you know, reminding me to call [redacted]. 2) My credit card information was stolen after eating at [redacted] in [redacted] (then [redacted]) when a [redacted] waitress lost then found my credit card. Some [redacted] guy was just convicted and given a 27 year sentence for [redacted] from [redacted] like that. 3) It was a short and sweet call. Still too much [redacted]. I asked [redacted] about personal stuff. But the information [redacted] provided was cursory. So, maybe [redacted] has shielding [redacted] behind the news of the day. 5-17-17 I called [redacted] in response to [redacted's] text ([redacted]) and we talked for an hour as I walked on [redacted]. 1) I guess [redacted] is unavoidable. I enjoyed myself this time. 2) [redacted] and [redacted] are [redacted]. I felt one of the reasons [redacted] and I [redacted] (besides [redacted] being [redacted]) was all the [redacted] [redacted] was getting in that direction. Perhaps it is [redacted's] turn. 3) For some reason [redacted], also, suggested buying a gun. But that might have had more to do with 'Final Day's Life Choices' than anything else. {At this remove, I take that to mean suicide. I am leery about listing the ways I might kill myself. Suffice to say, a firearm of any sort is not on the list.} 6-10-17 My computer is not working, so this entry is based off of old notes. We talked for an hour and a half or so, while I walked [redacted]. 1) [redacted] and [redacted] are [redacted]. Who knows why? By all accounts, [redacted] had it rather good. But [redacted] has always [redacted] [redacted's] [redacted], who is taking up more and more of [redacted's] time. 2) [redacted] focused on [redacted's] [redacted] and how [redacted] plays [redacted]. 3) The end was nice, in that we talked of more personal things, of [redacted]. [redacted] sent me a personal text and I called the next day. But the [redacted] links, I mostly ignore and do not respond to. 6-15-17 We talked for an hour or so, prior to a screening of [redacted], which was playing in [redacted], so [redacted]. 1) [redacted] to start, but after all this time, I do not remember much. 2) Then we talked of Economics, as the government and the market are one. 3) Notes say, '[redacted] knows! Five thousand points,' which I believe is a reference to [redacted's] know-it-all attitude. 4) And then, I got bored. {The Government and The Market are One. The Government feeds off The Market (i.e. collects taxes). While The Market exists soley at The Government's whim (i.e. is controlled by the law of the land). In short, A Free Market is a lie. It cannot exist.} 6-25-17 We talked for an hour as I walked down [redacted]. I finally got my computer back up and running, so this was only yesterday. 1) We had a good (and long) start, talking about the Gay Pride Parade. And I'd just gotten done having a delightful (and fruitful) conversation with [redacted], so I was in a wonderful mood. 2) The [redacted] in the middle was good, funny. It was easy to see the lighter side. And after a week, I was good to get an update on [redacted]. 3) And at the end, we talked of the problem of honour. What is it? And all that. 7-19-17 We talked for an hour as I walked to [redacted]; and then, sat outside on a bench. 1) Apparently, I will call [redacted] in return for pictures of [redacted]. 2) [redacted] mentioned an economist ([redacted]), who I subsequently read, but was not overly impressed with: [redacted's] writing is difficult, the ideas buried in irrelevant text. 3) [redacted] said, '[redacted]' 7-25-17 We talked for an hour and a half, while I walked from [redacted] to [redacted]. 1) We started with talk of [redacted], so I listened mainly. It has little import. I wonder what [redacted] say [redacted] [redacted]. 2) Talking of a 'friend', [redacted] was reluctant to mention [redacted's] name, so there is a distancing there. 3) When describing [redacted], [redacted] used the word depressed. [redacted], also, uses subtle insults when talking about me: I don't care about freedom... or whatever. 4) Standing, looking at the waves was nice, but the conversations are not [redacted]... nor are they a [redacted]. So, there is a dissatisfaction with them from my end. 8-13-17 We talked for an hour and a half, while I paced back and forth in the park behind [redacted]. 1) [redacted] is depressed over [redacted's] [redacted] with [redacted]. [redacted], perhaps, expects too much from [redacted] at this juncture. 2) We switched to [redacted], but this may have been on me. 3) I told [redacted] that [redacted] was [redacted] and [redacted]. [redacted] asked if that was so I could [redacted]. Um, no. I've already [redacted]. 8-16-17 Quarter hour while pacing [redacted]. 1) [redacted] wanted a copy of [redacted's] [redacted] picture, which I'm not going to retrieve for [redacted] for months. 2) I had just gotten off the phone with [redacted], [redacted's] [redacted] and was in a bad place. [redacted] gave me good advice. 3) I feel like I am far more outcome independent. I expect [redacted] to [redacted] and that's OK. [redacted] was there for me when I needed [redacted] to be. And maybe that goes a long way towards explaining why I stopped keeping track of the conversations for [redacted]. Who knows when I will start up again? We talked numerous times during [redacted]. [redacted] was very helpful and supportive. # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # 2020-06-08 {The file ends with a copy of an email which is particularly positive, highlighting some of my better aspects and/or accomplishments, written by [redacted]. But as it is not my writing, I shall [redact].}