FILE: The Magazine Project
DATE: +/- 18 Months throughout 2019
ARCHIVE: 2021-04-07
(c) Copyright Brett Paufler

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The basic idea was to read every magazine I could get my hands on.  By read, I meant page through and consume as I desired.  And by every, I pretty much meant every.

I will not do a count, but I believe the listing that follows contains the write-up for +/-500 magazines, a process which took me around a year and a half and likely close to 500 hours.

Originally, I conceived of this as being a month long project.  Obviously, I was wrong in that regard.  But because of the expected size, I anticipated outputting the data as a HTML page, hence the formatting.

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Back before The Diary Project became The Journal Project (and more along the lines of when it was The Restaurant Project), I developed a Personal Mark-Up for a Bullet Point Syntax.

Magazine Name
Magazine Byline
Description of cover... another note; something that caught my eye... again... again; more somethings... and so on;

And the above would be outputted by a Python Script (which may or may not be posted elsewhere) along the lines of:

Magazine Name
Magazine Byline
Description of cover.
    Another note.
Something that caught my eye.
    Again.
    Again.
More somethings.
    And so on.

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At this point (and for, perhaps the last half of the project), I view this more as a game for The AI than anything else.

1) Guess the exact magazine issue.
2) Guess the item in the magazine to which each comment corresponds.
3) Make psychological notes about the author as may be insightful, amusing, and/or aid in the understanding of a 20-21st Century Man.

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As follows are additional notes, commentaries, explanations, and disclaimers based upon a secondary set of Meta Notes made at the time, which take the form of:

#Original Note#
Some attempt to explain what that note may have been trying to say. 

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

#From First File#
There are two {nope, three} such files, which will be presented one after the next.

#2018-07-05#
Today, it is 2021-04-07.  These notes are stale, to say the least.

#Meta#
A major intention of this front matter (and hence, part of it's length) is to act as a sort of heads up disclaimer.  That I made a note under a specific magazine's heading should not be taken as gospel.  There were always other things going on in my life.

I am not reviewing the Raw Notes. The {Double Bracket} Syntax in The Magazine Project reflect a desire for an Italicised Meta Note in the final output.  Whereas, any {Bracket Notation} in This Front Matter reflects a correction or addition to The Front Matter at the time of editing. {Thus, a few paragraphs back, I made mention that I thought there were two note files (at the time of original writing), but there turned out to be more, as reflected in the {Bracketed Comment].}

#Existential#
Who really knows what this comment was about?  But my best guess is an intent to make a note at the time of write-up (which means, as I write these introductory notes years later) that the purpose of the project was to fill an Existential Void.  In short, The Magazine Project was something to do.

#Website Feather#
The Raw Notes are 2454 Lines Long, each entry taking roughly four lines (Blank Line, Title, Optional Title, Raw Notes on a single line).  And consist of 395,225 Individual Characters, which comes out to around 75,000 Words.  Thus, this is a Novel Length work.  It's really way too long (and formatted way to annoyingly) to be read by any human.  Still, I did it.  And I am proud of it.

#Robots Long Tail#
Thus, even back in the day (for this comes from the original note set and is fairly near the top of said set), I felt the principal audience would be The AI.

#Anarchy IS choosing your own adventure#
I do what I do.  And if you don't like it, don't read it.

{Formally, Anarchy is a rejection of Externally Imposed Hierarchical Structures on the presumption that The Net Long-Term Gain of a Self-Directed Population will outperform Coercion each and every time.  For, I am willing to include Heaven, Nirvana, or the Afterlife of Your Choosing in the equation.  Also, it's fairly hard to field an army for an Unjust War without Coercion, so all sorts of negative consequences are avoided when Violently Imposed Hierarchical Structures are abandoned.}

#Light (not law or computer) full quality of life#
So, why am I doing this, The Magazine Project?  The reason is 'Light', meaning a 'full quality of life'.  Other projects at the time included reviewing Court Cases (law) and writing (and reading about) computers.  Both subjects being a bit more serious than Fashion Magazines and the like.  So, this project filled out the spectrum.

#Note File #2#
I told you there were two.  And in fact, there may be a third {or in fact, even a fourth}.  But I'm not looking ahead {and I've already forgotten}.

#2019-03-01#
Start date for The Second Meta Note file.

#Restaurant#
#Day Tripping#
#Diary#
#Magazine Project#
This is a short history of the progression of the writing style if not the project itself, as I have already gone over in the introduction.  The intent is to make observations: taken in context (mostly) and presented out of context.  Though, in truth, I don't see how anyone could accurately back-check anything.  It's very much a subjective work.

#Short comments out of context.#
And here, I say pretty much the opposite.  So, deal with it.  "Sticky Keyboard" tells one nothing about the writing; but rather, focuses on my subjective writing experience.  Most of the comments are (and will forever remain) mysteries.  In fact, one of the reasons I call this a game is that I believe if played, rationalizing one's own interpretation of "The Correct Answer" will play a major role. {That is to say, one's argument for why their guess is correct (and/or simply better) is an important part of play.}

Magazine -> My Subjective Self -> Comment

The first (Magazine) is so twisted up in the second (My Subjective Self) by the time any Comment is made, it is impossible to deconstruct the two.

Thus, if you want to know the Magazine, read it.  What follows will be of little use.

#UL IL#
Spelling errors abound.  I used a Text Based Note-Taking App on my phone.  Spell-Check & Auto-Correct do there thing changing words about.  Sure, I tried to catch errors... sometimes.  And sometimes, I simply forgot.  At this remove, it would be impossible to say for certain what word I intended in any given instance.  MEANINGS ARE NOT TO BE RELIED UPON.  They have not been checked, double-checked, or vetted.  When writing a novel, it is not uncommon for me to state the opposite of what I intended only to discover a day later the switch.  After more than a year (given the terseness and abstraction involved) it would be nearly impossible (and highly impractical) for me to remove any such errors, which must surely be present.  Think of this as part of The Game, as well.  "Well, sure he said this.  But you know how He gets This & That confused.  And this is one such instance."  Or, perhaps, I was being ironic, making a joke, and so on.  I do not take myself seriously and neither should you.

#Desire to create content... and get to read#
Why am I doing The Magazine Project?  I think we have covered the former (creating content).  As to the later (getting to read), let us say that my breadth of knowledge was greatly increased.  I did not opt-out of a magazine simply because I thought it would be boring.  I opted-in to most everything, expanding my world view greatly.  In fact, this would be the major reason I would suggest such a project to another.  There is (quite literally) an entire world out there of which you are not aware {a true statement for all but the omniscient or very nearly so}.  Also, the library I was frequenting at the time, literally (and this is the literal truth) had the most massive magazine collection to which I had ever had easy access in my entire life.  And I wanted to take advantage of that resource.

#Art#
This Is!  And if This Project (These Words) do not lay within your definition of Art, your definition sucks.  This Is Art.  Period.  It certainly is intended as art (and not critical commentary, cutting criticism, or anything remotely useful to Modern Man {though, if one denies Art, then certainly one of the other standard exemptions would apply: Educational, Critical, and whatever else My Lawyers can come up with, should the need arise}).  And as such, I claim (and I hope society will support) a full legal shield should I say anything untoward.  And if not Art, I hope you will concede it is confusing Op-Ed that by its nature is difficult to take too seriously.

"What?" about covers it.  As do, "Huh?", "Whatever." and "I stopped reading after the first few lines."

#Unique ish#
Face it.  You  haven't come across something else like this ever before.  Well, maybe you have.  But I sort of doubt it.  Certainly, I haven't.  The idea, execution, and presentation are unique to me... as far as I know.  Hey!  I did something original for once.

#Cover Image#
I do not know when I started describing The Cover Image as my first entry.  I doubt I did this for the first few... dozen.  But at some point, I did.  And by this time {the time I started recording some sort of description, reaction, and/or possible identification for each and every cover}, the idea of A Game For The AI had been firmly established in my mind.

#Like a Game#
Do you want to play a game, Mr &| Mrs AI?  Well, maybe you will find this more to your liking than Crossword or Suduko.  It is not expected that a human could play with any degree of skill or accuracy.

Also, since I do not know if I mention this later, some of the magazines are one off's.  I took what I got.  But for others, I had access to a pile of back issues.  I tended to favor the latest issue.  But I, also, would often make a selection from the latest several, picking the cover that seemed most interesting or promised the best results (given my personal prejudices and interests).  Thus, I have given some degree of brackets (starting and ending times) on the project.  And as I went forward (as one goes down the file), the dates tend to shift accordingly.

#Advertisements Included#
Often, the most interesting thing was an advertisement.  Presumably, they were intended to attract my eye.  And many a time, they did.  Anyway, my commentary may well be focused on an advertisement as much as anything else.

#Specific#
Yes, that is correct.  In this instance, I am focusing on a hyper-unimportant aspect of the magazine.  Say, the sunglasses someone is wearing on a sail boat, as a possible (if improbably) for instance.

{Certainly, talking about a sort-of off-hand childhood desire to live on a boat (prior to realizing I suffered from Sea Sickness) might be a suitable comment and/or retort upon gazing at a Sail Boat... or really, anything else similarly and tangentially related.}

#Overall#
Having paged twenty pages in (or further, reaching nearly the end), I may have felt compelled to make comment, as that was the goal, was it not?  And in such instances (or any instance), the comment I made may have been a Compendium Comment spanning the content (or lack, thereof) of many a page.

{Get the gist?  There really was no boundary to my comments (i.e. nothing was out of bounds).  It would have been fair game to comment on anything from any angle.  For, The Game was pretty much this is what is going through my head as I gaze upon the magazine at hand.}

#Ideas#
I often get these wrong.  Also, I tend to use the written word (by others more so than my own; I'm pretty focused on my own writing once it's down on the page, as that what's editing is all about; so, we are talking about the writing) of others as a sort of sounding board, as a random impulse or targeting messaging system, mixing it about with what is already present in my head.  Or in other words, The Output may be only tangentially related to The Input.  Many a book (or other writing source), I have valued far more for where it takes my mind than for what the original author intended.

#Impressions#
How subject shall >I< be?  Completely, for that is what >I< am all about.

#Future projects#
I often shop for things to do, while reading.  Thus, not only are the ideas presented fair game, but the end result.  "Hey, maybe I'll do this" becomes a perfectly formatted piece of output and completely in sync with the project's objectives even if "this" has little reference to the reading material at hand.

#Often, Reactionary#
Please notice how far I can expand a two word idea.  It's often not so much about those two words, as where I wish to go with them.  And, yes.  I am becoming more and more aware that this introductory section has taken a turn away from The Magazine Project.  Too Bad.

#Fact#
Sometimes, it is.

#Impression#
This seems more likely.

#Game What am I looking at. Issue. Page.#
We have covered this.  All I can say at this point is Best Of Luck.
 
#Praise#
I need to do this more often in my life.

#Criticism#
And if you disagree, it likely means my needs do not match... or I simply do not have the (mental) pieces (call them ideological constructs, if you will) to make the fit.

#Concerns#
Well, it follows in sequence.  But even I have nothing further to say on the matter at this remove.

#Copyright... tend to edit away from#
I'm not trying to steal from anyone.  And if you don't like my commentary or entry, let me know your Hyper-Specific Concerns (and give me a month or more lead time) and I will be happy to take them into account.  You will, of course, be required to prove that you are the holder and that I have reason to care (word one) about anything you have to say.

#Ego. Personal attack#
I don't think I do this overly much.  But if I didn't like it, I didn't like it.  What say we let your subscription numbers settle the argument.  Besides, we all know I am a fool.  Here I am creating Art, when I could be chasing Dollars.

#Put words in mouth... take away and deny glory... kill story... ruin joke#
I really have no idea.  Does it stand on it's own.  If not... well, then that is that.

#Short Time#
Most magazines got an amazingly quick glossing over.  I did not read through them, but paged through them.  Sure, I spent an hour or more with several.  And others only got a few minutes... some as few as five or ten.

#Not following#
Maybe, you are not supposed to.  Really, don't read too much into my comments.  It's Art.  Let it go.

#Out of Context#
This whole project is... taken out of.  And if not playing The AI Game, that's a lot of what's happening {that lack of context thing}.  But let's be real.  Only a handful of humans will ever get this far.  This sort of writing project will never be part of the mainstream.

#Failure to take time to appreciate#
I did (or did not) on a regular basis.  Did I mention how I was able to page through an entire magazine in under ten minutes?

#Presumes no, not reading faster than reading#
I have no idea, which is The Realm where many of the comments lay at this point.

#And if read, go into a mindset where comments less likely#
Ah, here's the thing.  Reading, commenting, Day Dreaming, Extracting to a New Level, and all the rest are different mental states.  To some extent, if I am looking for something to comment on (and commenting on it), I am in a different mental state than I would be in if I were to be focused on consuming the media.  Thus, I can very much recall reading entire ten-page essays, coming to the end, and having little to say about the essay relevant to this project... with absolutely no thought of commenting while my mind was thus engaged.  In short, commenting was not always the objective.

#More likely to raise objections than confirmations#
I am a Reactionary Contrarian at heart.  Please, you go first.  And I will tell you what is wrong with your idea rather than tell you mine.  It is the perfect argumentative (debate minded) approach... even if it gets one no closer to the truth.

I say -this-.
You tell me why I am wrong.
And in crafting my retort, my -this- has become that much stronger.

You say -that-.
I disagree.
And we really have gotten nowhere.

#2019-06-12#
More notes.  A new file.

#Mag Gen Notes II (three, actually)#
See how much I can remember after a year.  This is one of the reasons why I will not be editing The Raw Magazine Notes.  At this remove, there is no point.

#Just in a pissy mood#
Why am I slamming someone or something.  Maybe, I am having a bad day.  And during the time of this project (and for the last five years), I have experience more anger (at a deeper and more protracted level) than I would have ever thought I was capable of feeling.  I am sure it shows... on occasion.  And likely as not, had more to do with my anger than any piece of writing before me.

#Compositional errors, auto correct, and a huge lag between original transposition and first edit make for a wide array of unforeseen and essentially uncorrectable errors... especially considering the cryptic nature of the typical entry.#
"Yep.  Copy that."

#2020-02-01#
Four.  Count them, four note files.

#Final Mag Notes#
Do we (you, I, or The AI's who gulped this text file whole) believe this anymore?

#Bad Mood#
It's hard not to slam when one feels like slamming.  My boredom, dissatisfaction, praise, or whatever, may have more to do with my mental state than anything else.

#Riddle and Reactionary and Whatever Comes to Mind#
A Game For The AI.  Also, I like being obtuse.  It can be fun.

#Errors. Wrong assumptions. Flat out wrong.# 
I am an idiot (a wordy idiot); but an idiot, nonetheless.

#Conversations in the background.#
So, like, at least once (if not more times), my thought process was controlled by (and/or I was commenting directly upon) the actions of others in the background, my local environment being the focus of my attention.  It's hard to know how much such factors may have subtly effected any and all of my observations and notes.  I mean, I can read, so I can blot out the exterior world to some extent.  But I always carry the exterior world in with me to the world of the written word to some extent, as my brain needs to know where to hang (and how to tag) the new-found information.

#Auto-Complete Mona Lisa, becomes Monarch Lisa, if you're not careful.#
And often enough, I am not careful.  Who knows to what extent Auto-Complete has changed meanings around?  As a trivial (if annoying) example, The Spell-Checker On My Phone has gotten in the habit of switching 'is' out for 'us', all the more annoying as I don't use the word 'us' all that often (certainly, not in comparison to my usage of the word 'is') and I absolutely never use 'us' as a verb.  Whatever.  The point is that Auto-Complete & Spell Check have most certainly changed the meaning here and there. 

#The punchline, given the magazine is the joke#
So, here I am, paging through a magazine.  And look at that, given that bit in the magazine, these words sort of make the punchline to a joke.  Jokes are not labelled and are incredibly hard to parse.  Trust me, sarcasm does not translate into the written word all that easily.  Humour requires a shared point of view (thought pattern, whatever) and without contextual markers, jokes are just bad information... for that is the basis of humour... or much of it.  Anyhow, this is another reason why confusion may abound.

#In the best cases, the magazine sets me off... a meta aside about nothing... a mini story... or random idea#
First, in the above 'best' came out as 'bet' from the Auto-Correct.  Stuff like that is all over the place.  Second, notice how I am taking single words or short sentences and expanding upon them?  Well, I really like it when I see something in a magazine and my mind responds with fireworks, creating whole stories from single pictures and a cosmos of ideas from a single starting point.  In fact, in my current writing (The Journal Project), I have little intention of expanding upon most of the ideas.  They are.  And if not self-evident, you are on your own.  Anyhow, it stands to reason that if the start of the story is in a magazine, one may have a hard time recognizing how my words (the next loop in the iteration) relate.

#I respond far more to images than words... even if it's the words that make a magazine great... it's the images that make it entertaining... and which catch my eye in a flip through.#
There you go.  Enough said.

#Posting in wrong note... or wrong part of note.#
So, this is part of a listing of possible errors: Spell Check, Auto Correct, Writing to Wrong File, and Writing to Wrong Part of File (yes, more than once I discovered I was adding a comment from one magazine to another).  And then, there are the cognitive errors (totally on me) that are too numerous to mention.  In my mind, the errors are part of the game.  Certainly, at this point, they are.  What are those errors?  Where?  What?  Why?  Have fun.  I guess the bottom line is that if a comment truly makes no sense when analysed from every possible angle, then some sort of Authorial Error must be to blame.

#I don't always look for the tag line#
I assume: Given 'Title/nTag Line/n', I often forget to write the Tag Line.  Thus, we can add inconsistency to The List of Possible Errors along with an Evolving Sense of what the project was about.

#Hard to separate the day from the issue at hand#
A further rationale for all sorts of Conflation Errors.

#I should have used ...... to signal another level of indent.#
My mark-up shorthand only includes one level of nesting ("...").  It would have been difficult to program.  But additional levels would have been nice ("......", ".........").  It didn't really even think about this until I'd been into the project for a year or so.

#First v Last Magazine of the day... or of subject#
Where a magazine was located in the line-up made a difference.  I paid far more attention to the first Knitting Magazine (a subject about which I care little) then the second.  Also, it can be difficult to get into reading (so the first could suffer).  And by the end, I often would simply be wanting to get another done.  And I'm sure I could work out logics for the converse.  Thus, the day, time of day, location, relative location in the project, and relative location in the day are all factors leading to a difference in outcome.  Bad Day -> Less Enjoyment -> Worse Review.

#I don't speak any foreign languages, so one can expect a thing or two to be lost in the translation.#
I covered Foreign Language Magazines, too... at least, a few. Whatever one can say about translation, one can also say about topics of which I am not familiar... and/or magazines that I am reading for the first time.  Plenty of the titles were first reads for me, while others were old friends.  One can expect a difference in outcome (i.e. what I have to say) based on any previous relationship or expectation.

#Tend to be front loaded, the first few pages getting more attention than the last#
Yep, this is most definitely true.  The only real exception is when I was nearing the end of a magazine and hadn't said much.  Then, the final few pages would get greater focus.

Anyway, there is really nothing fair or even about the entries.

It's a Subjective Project and there are all sorts of Subjective Reasons for why the entries differ.  And then, of course, there are The Magazines, themselves.

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End Front Matter

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THE MAGAZINE PROJECT
by
BRETT PAUFLER

Unedited - Unreviewed - Uncorrected

Where?  What?  When?  Why?
Play along if you like.

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2600
The Hacker Quarterly
firewall, start by blocking all incoming ports, whitelist as needed; a nice random walk down technology lane; might as well be a website, though.

3D World
Inspiring CG Artists
a digital portrait so good, I thought the art was the artist, not even close; caused (or renewed) my desire to own high end photographic equipment; doubtful I will ever pursue digital design or art at this level;

AARP
The Magazine
Death Cleaning, kill the clutter before you go; uninteresting consumerism, ad filled; popular fluff; yeah, don't care

AARP Bulletin
Real Possibilities
really not expecting anything; eh, killed some time; no worse than I expected; skin deep, feel good advice, par for the genre

ABC Soaps In Depth
something I would have never read on my own; was Erica Kane on All My Children or was she All My Children; I think I might feel better looking after browsing through this;

Ability
voiceye encodes the text of each page in dot grid; an add that focused on bunting (rather than swinging for the fences) says it all, incremental advances; a journey to the world of... but for the Grace of God

The Absolute Sound
those are some might big speakers, you have there; $7,995 for a turntable, anyone; vacumn tube punk; oh, sorry, this turntable's selling point is that it clocks in shy of $13,000; dual arm turntables... um, why; ending with record reviews, so is high end audio a function of preferred music genre;

Ad Age
track your customers; the art of propaganda; demographic analysis; precision marketing; AI is pronounced 'Multi-Variate Statistics', never forget that; can now tell if you are falling asleep at the wheel; ideological consumption, a must;

adAstra
The Magazine of the National Space Society
Dedicated to the Creation of a Spacefaring Civilization
astronauts look a little pale; jerk-stop flywheel locomotion, stopping the flywheel flips the cube one face, ingenious; an observer's journal, nothing technical; thin on the ads, most relating to books or raising money;

Additude
Strategies and Support for ADHD & LD
know thyself, to thine own self be true; listen to loud music, use timers, or turn off email, everyone is different, some more so than others; management training (self or others) in disguise; life management, or how do they say, Life Hacks; this is your body, this is your brain, it may be slightly different from others, treat it (and/or care for it) accordingly; welcome to the humanist point of view, you are welcome;

Belle Armoire
Art to Wear
intermission from the free rack; craft art couture; remember, craft often means crap; and now, back to our regularly scheduled program;

Adventure Cyclist
no, seriously, and they are serious; the interesting art of colorizing old photos, I guess there was more purple back then; it's epic, because it happened long ago, well, no, it would still be epic; riding companion wanted, stealth camping preferred, but always looking out for a warm shower; the idea has appeal;

The Advocate
first ad, HIV Prevention; oh, and its not the only one, also, tourist destinations; one wonders if she was chosen as the spokesperson because she is good at crying; we got books, we got media, oh, look, chocolate; well, is say the magazine is almost defined by AIDS from beginning to end, after all, it's what brought us together, you know, the reason for the magazine in the first place;

Aerospace America
trade journal, lots of forums and symposiums advertised; Rules for Astronauts #1, Don't Die! #2 Don't Let Others Die; we are at Mach 5.1, unclassified; the need to 'compute with sufficient confidence'; do I care how jets, rockets, or ram-jets work; I work more like a cat than a dog; I will make a generic prediction about the future that cannot possible fail to come true, more of the same, much more, only different;

AFAR
Where Travel Can Take You
romance is in the air; to party... it to seek solitude, inner reflection, and a communion with nature; couture anthropology; is that really enough life boats, on that cruise ship; the desire for high functioning clothing; neon colored nightlife; and this natural wonder can be yours... if the price is right; an authentic getaway; a photographic wonderland delight;

Air & Space
Smithsonian
old people advertising; Civil War Balloonists; Cold War Missile Silos; Modern Mission Command; the main event being a historical air campaign, and a review of combat aircraft;

Alaska
The Magazine of Life on the Last Frontier
I thought that was space; one fish, two fish... big fish, small fish; all the modern conveniences... or none; many Hawaiian ties; ha, even an add for ulu... otherwise known as poke carving sets;

Allure
The Beauty Expert
lots of money in makeup; beauty is in the eyes of the beholder... it's, also, a state of mind; guys are doing it, too; now, with more 'Bio';

AP
AltPress
hey, I'm the first to read; as much form as... well, I've got to assume there's substance; life as art... but then, is it art... or just bad lifestyle choices; beautiful playthings; earplugs... real musicians wear them... albeit, those expensive ones with integral speaker; wake up... just not so much that you don't buy our records;

America in WWII
The War - The Home Front - The People
Tupperware; um, not a lot new, here... duh; memories, mementos, and collectibles... decide how you will remember: gone... and soon to be forgotten;

American Art Collector
art can be really shitty at times... most of the time, actually; and then, there's the fun stuff... excuse me... did I say fun... I meant sexy; chock full of ideas... if not paintings I wish to own; in the end, not a lot of that 'I could do that' feeling;

American Bee Journal
The Beekeeper's Companion Since 1861
a real journal... issue starts on page 723; wholesale honey prices... a magazine for the producer; fake honey... it's a thing; guard bees and vanity hives; and that's what it looks like when a bee stings you in the eye... not as bad as I'd thought, actually; varroa mite causes wing deformation;

American Bungalow
the philosophy of creative design; sun dappled shade; overpriced throwaway furniture; decorative-arts, now that's a good word for it; um, much like a craftsman, a bungalow might be a style of house... not that I could tell you said style's defining feature;

American History
one man's opinion... is still just an opinion; every day, I want to become a lawyer more and more; yeah, don't care; the politics of now, getting in the way of understanding the politics of then; picture based classified ads... a nice touch;

American Libraries
The Magazine of the American Library Association
earn a Masters of Library Science... learn how to check out a book... how to know when the homeless have outstayed their welcome... bubblegum, Satan's Plaything or Tool of the Devil; now, that's a nice library... in a city (or is that a country) I've never heard of before... Doha... ha, but spell check recognized it... ah, there it is... Doha, Qatar, the capital I'm guessing; of course, libraries are not neutral... no repository of curated knowledge can be; remember, we have a convention coming up soon... plan your visit... party; a cup holder for every chair... and a power outlet for every patron;

American Quilter
Discover - Inspire - Create
well now, that's nice; nice digital patterns... a study in tiling; image masks a specialty; yeah, they are doing with images a lot of what I want to be doing with images; I don't want to label individual magazines as good finds... but this was a good find... full of artistic inspiration;

American Record Guide
complete with obituary section; a great resource... if I cared... and so far, I do not; $100,000 more or less (probably more, unless you're worth much less) is what a classical musician with a big name orchestra can expect; I don't know who he is or why he gets to rant... but I enjoyed his grumpy old opinion; eleven new Bach albums this month... same for Beethoven... ha, only four for Mozart... Stravinsky only two; the rant was the high point... maybe worth coming back for;

American Rifleman
Official Journal of the National Rifle Association of America
kill them dead... the first time... yes, I have preconceived notions; 1,300 yards... let that sink in; LtCol Oliver L. North... the next President of the NRA?... Sorry, there is no question about it... Done deal; Do guns save lives?... The world may never know.; Digital Muffs!... Now, I really can't hear you; Lots of fear; Now, that's a tattoo!... Holy Fuck!; You know, I've never field stripped a rifle... Is that screw drill looking piece the bolt?; Bayonets are a grim business; What's new?... magazine fed shotguns!;

American Scientist
eh, I'm not going to read this... it would take to long... and unlike many other mags, I feel the need to say that, as the images do not provide a full picture; bore holes on Mars... are we looking for oil?; meth, not even once... unless you're in the military, of course; 1,500,000 drug related arrests last year... flat since 1996... means enforcement efforts are decreasing, because drug use is up; there is a point where it is difficult to differentiate life from natural process... and its even harder if fossilized remains are all you have to work with; graphene... substance of the future; found in the book review section, an interesting bit about the history of nursing homes;

Antique Trader
America's Antiques &amp; Collectibles
{Something or Other}
If money was no object and I could collect anything, I would collect... firearms... weaponry... pinball machines... View Master reels and stereoscopic images... DAW SF books... 80s role playing games... ; some things are worth a lot... others not do much; oh, conventions; Rockefeller estate brings $800,000,000 at auction; I could see going to a flea market, again;

Antiques
chairs I wouldn't even want if they were new; it's worth more because it's art; special sections on pointillism, illuminated manuscripts, and some quaint English Country Manor;

aperture
I probably should have read this magazine at least once by now; MFA... seriously, at this point, if you are not paying me, I'm not interested; if you take away the pretension, what is the interest; that's a fun shot; mostly, I fail to see the distinction; it is odd what one finds interesting;

AramcoWorld
of thing Arab... I always thought oil; a very high tech looking mud-brick building... made out of limestone; um, I just don't care... not worth a magazine on its own... but then, I think it's free;

Archaeology
A Publication of the Archaeology Institute of America
same crappy advertisers I've come to know and expect; not to find, but to know; Norway had the only European Heavy Water plant going into WWII; my theory is, civilization (or farming, at least) derived from a desire to brew beer... like, year round, bro; 'Dog?  No, he is my second in command and you will treat him him with the respect he deserves!'... or, you know, he will eat you; Zeus was born on Mount Lykaion... and there are thousands of years worth of ash and the remains of sacrificial animals to prove it; Neolithic... um somewhere between 2-10,000 years ago... so nestled between settlement and history... at a guess; still thinking about Zeus... it begs the question, are bones self burning?;

Architectural Record
open fire gas flame at the foot of your bath... I want one; forensic architecture; blur the car... blur the pedestrians... anonymizing in the digital age; a big modern library... but is it cost effective?; colorful wall art... that's truly uninspired; sintered stone... also known as, synthetic stone;

Arizona Highways
Escape - Explore - Experience
we have water too, you know; can't say I want to go;

Art & Antiquities
For Collectors of the Fine and Decorative Arts
I really can't see buying someone else's landscape photography... I'll make my own, thank you; see, I painted some sticks... then, I glued them together... sounds a lot like something I'm doing with finger paint and cardboard; outsider art... not that much different... except for the name; does honoring the past betray the present?... only if heroes still walk the earth; seriously, art collectors are stupid... now, art speculators might just know what they are doing;

Art Culinaire
hey, it's a hardback; see, now, I could eat like this... can I get five servings of this for supper?; oddly, the photograph just isn't that good... at this size, half of it is out of focus; I really do not respect tattoos; burning it black does not make it better... any it; ha!  Wagyu steak is just super fatty... buy the cheap stuff... eat the fat on... there, I saved you a hundred bucks; so, this is how marketing pretension works... 3,200 wines entered... 285 gold... 760 silver... 1,178 bronze... so, 69% of the field were medalists... eh, maybe I read (or interpreted) that wrong... but I don't think that I did;

Art in America
It's a shame stupid has gained the upper hand in the art world; usually, an almost full room is more interesting than an almost empty one; an editorial that cuts to the heart... before going ironically astray; I don't want art to be easy... I don't respect easy; at some point the art establishment doesn't matter... maybe at that point, you've reached art;

ART journaling
I read the submission guidelines first... no pay... and you have to pay return freight... no way; paper art... I like the sound of that; a whole lot of don't care;

Artforum
International
Hey, at one time I wanted everything I owned to be green or have a touch of green on it... I painted my desk green... I suppose, if only had I known, that might have been one of my first art projects; I really find it hard to believe most of these 'artists' make a living at it... who buys it?; I don't value feminism... I mean, is that all you've got?; I'm not sure what I am looking at... probably odd looking grain silos... common in the land where they're from; wait a second!  Is that a commentary on rabid consumerism?... how clever; one long essay... much like this magazine project, too long  to have a point; back in the land of I don't care... it's odd what I find interesting; 'That's not art', he scoffed... 'But if you gather a bunch of them together in a big enough pile, that's art!';

Artful Blogging
Visually Inspiring Online Journals
Like family movies of yesteryear... will probably share same fate; a career path... but like any artistic endeavor, only for the select few; as a male blogger... er, I mean, as a guy who has his own website... am I an outlier... probably not, most of the sites I go to where put together by other guys; did I get any ideas... um, no... but I can see how others are a lot more consistent (read focused) than I am... I mean, come on, my site is basically a mash of random projects... just like this one... only, you know, different;

Arthritis Today
Just another health mag... so far, just the ads (and only some of them) are specialized; diet and exercise... exercise and diet; move that body... avoid surgery... enjoy life; and I still don't know what causes arthritis;

Artists Magazine
Is it better to be ahead of one's time or behind; paint brush maintenance... it's a thing; melting bricks of ice... it ain't art... or everything is art... but I like it; strokes of color like rippling water... yeah, that is nice... she's basically using oils as finger paints... turpentine in place of water; showing too many images on a website can be a mistake... or the point of the website;

Art News
I don't know if it's art... but I do love naked women... not so crazy about overpriced brass logs; I see what you did there... the paintings still suck, though; it's fun... I'll give you that; art so progressive, you won't recognize it as art... if it's not art, then what is it?; do I believe art and money can coexist?... I mean, if something is done for money, it is industrial by design... wait, no. Let me take a breath... and in the moment we find art; art really is misnamed... what would you call it if you couldn't call it art?... if you had to describe the use, the intent, and not just say what a painting was about... if abstract means random swirls, in what part of that randomness do we find art?;

Astronomy
The world's best-selling astronomy magazine
The existence of Dark Matter... how we know we still know next to nothing; I don't want to engage... so what makes me think I would want to engage if the magazine were written at a higher level?; if one does not care about speed, the world of propulsion opens up; I started to think about photography... and here it is, the photo shoot article; high quality Planetary Marbles might be fun;

The Atlantic
A long biography... which I stopped caring about almost immediately; I should note, I'm reading differently, these last two... two copies... and dropping into the headline stories, first; Second Life... that's still around... no thanks, I have my projects; I like the graphic... it's so good, it makes the article redundant; has Amazon eliminated cross market subsidies in the publishing industry... and if it has, is this a bad thing... a new monopoly rewriting the rules of the old... also, Amazon is not as big as I'd thought... 44c out of every online dollar (E-Bay second at 6c)... 7th biggest retailer... 2018; An ad for Russell Brand... sorry, an article about, my mistake; Linkin Park's music captured 'Male Rage'... Wow! Missed that!; Sponsor Content... a) won't read it... b) the sell outs; if you survive the first wave of a high altitude attack, you're probably best off laying down and pretending you're dead; maybe I need to ready my backpack survival kit... maybe I should start with bottled water; Food Deserts versus Food Swamps... no grocery stores versus fast food dining... so, now I'll coin my own term Food Oasis... I have no idea what it means... use it as you desire; more Sponsor Content... not as smart, as it once seemed; Art Star versus Starving Artist... I like the juxtaposition; sorry!  Sorry!... Much of my commentary... for whatever reason, I confuse The Atlantic with Harpers... Sorry, about that... no random data points?... oh, right!  Different magazine... not surprising I stopped reading this one;

Atlantis Rising
Ancient Mysteries - Future Science - unexplained Anomalies
Prepare to be impressed; if I am God, who are all these other beings; science is wrong... enough said... more likely, this is the cutting edge of this particular slant on science... redefining previously held beliefs; iPhone UFO detector!... so, a curious mix of right and wrong; the future will bury the past... you can use that, if you want to; you are what you eat... think, and otherwise consume;

Audubon
A beak is measured from nostril to tip... maybe; shutting wind turbines down, before a bird hits... interesting concept... if implemented, I wonder if turbines will remain economically viable; just how big is the bird watching tourist industry?;

Automobile
It's a great ad... for a stupid product; wow, he does not look good; same product... different ad... not as compelling; Ford is dropping it's passenger car line... SUVs... and trucks; it's like a Hot Wheel... only you can drive it; a life in cars... even I care more about the cars; a hammer for every occasion... because not everything that needs hitting is a nail;

Guest Library Infill
Edition
Alfred Hitchcock
Mystery Magazine
Two hundred pages of murder filled fun; they have stories... and a contest... geared at a younger age; shortest classified ad column ever; also, a crossword puzzle... and book reviews... and I am done;

Aviation Week
& Space Technology
Where was the camera mounted for that shot?... ah, a drone!; jet fighters are cool; liquid-oxygen kerosene... it's what fuels rockets; I don't want to spend much time in airplanes; sometimes a phrase says it all: 'short-haul unmanned cargo aircraft'; Industrial Robots... not, exactly, nimble; The Space Race... it's on; I feel smarter; the future is coming... just not where, when, and how you think;

Backpacker
Get Out More
I want better clothes; an advertisement for something I want... a pocket water filter; I do not care about the locales... I'm planning for a  Zombie Attack... not my next vacation; I do want to see the Northern Lights... maybe I'll get into Motorized Electric Safaris... someday, you'll know what I mean; in the desert, petroglyphs can signal nearby water; the Cliff Climber exercise unit looks interesting... but it will have to wait until I am a lot richer... so, like, forever; 'Step carefully over The Fissures, a series of narrow, 2,000-foot-deep cracks in the granite.'... yep, I'll get right on that;

Bake
from Scratch
Marzipan sounds good... have I ever told you about this marzipan frosted cake I once have... just now?  OK. Good.; I am inspired; turns out, lots of folks are internet famous; most of these recipes are simply too hard;

The Bark
People buy homes... for their dogs... well, sometimes; dried sweet potatoes will work as dog chews... it's worth a try; special dog walking jackets; why is there a free-floating blank white paper hexagon in this magazine; I eat cows... I don't care about saving dogs; dogs in Classical European Art... a retrospective;

Bead & Button
I bought a bunch of beads, once... I must have made something with them, but I can't remember what; I like the threading patterns... the beads, not so much; jasper and tiger's eye... to name two of my favorites; fordite... from Ford Automotive... layers of paint, polished like gemstones:

Beadwork
Ouroboros... I need to look that word up; I enjoyed wire work at one time; is Czech glass any good... and if so, why?;

Bee Culture
The Magazine of American Beekeeping
Apiculture... if you please; the USDA will insure beekeepers against lower than average rainfall; oxalic acid... against varroa mite; glass walled beehives... the only way to fly; honeycomb art... as made by the bees... it's the bees knees!... sorry, about that; bears like honey... you have been warned;

Beer Advocate
Nashville has a nice convention center; it's a great time to be collecting beer cans and bottles; bowling with a football... has story time possibilities; have I ever told you idea that civilization was founded for the sole purpose of creating a ready supply of beer... I wonder why I don't like beer that much, then; I, also, like the idea of sailing; in a stemless wineglass with the foam sudsing over covering the hand... I think they're on to something, there; most craftsmen aren't... take me for instance;

Best Friends
Together We Can Save Them All
In the end, births equal deaths... so make breeders post a bond prior to birth for lifetime expenses... otherwise, your adoption subsides bad breeding habits; yep, kittens are cute; when a pet is lost, time is of the essence; birthday cake for a dog... who's wearing a party hat... perfectly darling; well, their obituary page made me smile; yeah, lots of smiles;

Better Investing Magazine
I consider automatic sprinkler systems to be a bad investment... of course, I don't own a home in the desert that's under the jurisdiction of a Home Owners Association; Pepsi Co... Budweiser; um, I run an investment club of one... I'm not sharing that power with anyone; and it's back to the basics... the bane of magazines... every article must be accessible to an idiot;

Biblical Archaeological Review
NIV shall remain my Bible of choice; dot com?... try dot bible; maybe I'll become a denier of historical fact... as in, no past, no future, only the present; lots of old folks ads;

Bicycling
If you exercise so much you not only can but should eat sugar, why not eat good stuff?; yeah, that would hurt; bike on a raft... um, make up your mind; keirin... Japanese sumo style bike racing... better than playing the ponies; the new bike section, I expected... the helmets, I did not; I wonder how much the most expensive bike in this issue cost?... least?;

Billboard
Is that a button in his belly button?; a festival could be fun... if I like music more; pass the 'shrooms, please; some of these festivals look like more fun than others; has that Variety advertising for business insider feel; one not aging well... the other's biceps are looking good; well, that's the problem... how to express the feel of the music in print... or lead up to the hook, when I'm already bored; kicking the body bag... you know, like a body in a bag... live onstage; successful entertainers will pay more in taxes this year;

Bird Watchers Digest
Information filled... technical-ish; binocular ads; lifer... once in a lifetime?...
Birds & Blooms
Beauty in Your Own Backyard
Medical Alert Service... so, um, old folks ads; This issue... Butterflies!;

Block
Missouri Star Quilt Co
idea book
Does the convertible come with the quilt?... a lifestyle magazine in disguise... selling one aspect of the dream; simple quilts, the lot; never did find that recipe I was half expecting;

Bloomberg Markets
That's quite the observation tower at the finish line... maybe the last three mags weren't captivating due to lack of ads... or no ads, due to lack of captivation; lots of charts... oh, and a tool to make more charts!; statistics are not AI, you fools; is time in office (or at desk, in shop, in studio, etc) equivalent to work; quizzing obscure trivia... is it to show how little you know?... or how carefully you read the magazine?... either way, I scored low... zero for four;

Boating
World's Largest Powerboat Magazine
Lots of products start with 'i' these days; I don't respect polo shirts... especially branded ones... or maybe it is the branding I don't respect; I think I aced the test; it's never bad manners to get clarification; I'll see your twin outboard engines... and raise you one;

BottomLine Personal
Inside Information from the World's Best Experts
It's a newsletter, not a magazine... also, sine I'm not a contributor, probably not the 'World's Best Experts'; Pepsi Co gets more love; got a problem?... muddle your way through it... so say the experts; men make less sperm these days... or are using all they can make as fast as they can... either way, counts are down; airbnb typically costs more than a hotel... mean to mean, I suppose... so which has the larger tail?;

Brides
Looking pretty naked; is a big part of the wedding all those gifts?... I guess so... register for a new kitchen or house makeover; Harem Girls?... Slave Mistresses?... there's plenty of inspiration; I can't see ever hiring a band... I'd say 'I can't see having a band at my wedding'... but I can't see getting married; ditto on the photographer; nice venue... crappy menu; way too much effort for one day... what say we take a trip around the world, instead;

Britain
The Official Magazine
Travel - Culture - Heritage - Style
A map... I want your add to include a map; first class steamer railroad line... EST 1999; the a'mazing labyrinth issue; the Wales Coast Path could be fun; ha!  I've seen that picture before... puffin with baby eels... or something very much like it; second TARDIS sighting... Dr Who is in the house;

British Heritage
Travel
Live The History
Pushing popularity... because what else is there?; 50,000+ pubs in Britain... there's one for you; women's suffrage... the vote is still out; fourteen books on tea... I think she's found her niche;

burda style
The centerfold is a pattern... so, a sewing hobby magazine; wow!... I think two ads total... both for sewing machines; looked harder... found a two page ad spread... impressive;

Jazz Festival Special
Downbeat
Jazz, Blues, & Beyond
Hey!  I should be taking notes; I find the construction of the mouthpieces to be interesting... complicated; this is my weapon. This is my gun... and this is my guitar, baby; "The new plantation is mass incarceration!"... word!; a ligature?... it might as well be a cock ring; a lot of folks are making money off of music... I guess, a lot more aren't; creative writing... being passed off as critical reviews; a music lesson... or two... the ubiquitous marketplace... and I am done; time to listen to some music... after all, that's what I'm here for... right?;

Bust
For Women With Something To Get Off Their Chests
There is a sexual harassment newsletter... is there a How To guide?; horchata or flavored almond milk... you make the call; noticing a lot of hashtags; is group meditation still meditation?... if so, is solo meditation still meditation?; conversation does not equal action... amen, brother!;it's of reviews... art and culture focused mag;

Car Craft
Loud - Fast - Real
Let's trick this bad boy out; power Graphs!; there must be some comparable magazine for programming... nice, technical articles... I'd say if no use/interest to me, but that isn't true... paging through, slowly but surely; Comics!... Yay!; the Woodstock of car shows... sounds fun... I would not have liked it;

Card Player
Sports betting is a growth industry... more states legalizing; the guy who made the most money is not ranked first... also, a short $100,000,000 won by the top twenty players... that's a lot of folks loosing fifty to five hundred; fish get eaten by sharks; fun play by plays; a person could make a life philosophy out of this... but I'm more likely to play the ponies;

Catholic Digest
Faith + Life
The Pope has his own TV Channel... Pope TV; a snow globe from God!... buy one, today!; the names of many art movements started as insults... Gothic, for instance; monks have computers... I wonder if they play Doom?; oh!  A car column!; complete with cartoons and word search;

catster
live with cattitude
Declawing cats is illegal in some jurisdictions; cat antics... so cute; fat cats... more to love... harder to move; aww!... so cute... I like cats; I'm smiling... what more do you want?;

Chatelaine
Canadian Women... they're sorry; would you like tea with that?; 117,000 Canadian Soldiers have died for freedom... let's plant some trees... on the Highway of Heroes!; fun stats about what it means to be a man; Canada might have a national home mortgage program... as in, universal; I need a word to describe my lack of online interaction... like Luddite, but for social media... ah, grandpa;

Chess Life
Includes a back to school buying guide... um, OK; chess to memorialize the fallen; Yugoslavia and Hungary take their chess seriously; a month worth of chess problems... not mate, mate... but obviously turning the match; the meta-game; study every recorded World Championship Game... you know, if you want to win; these folks take chess seriously... it's inspirational; I think I'll call it five of six problems solved... black to win; lots of tournaments out there, ya young Turk, you;

Chicago Consumer's Checkbook
w/ Update
Obvious advice... so, not controversial, either; I don't value their Best Doctor methodology... though, staying away from those with board violations seems like a good idea... I'll do my own research when the time comes; good list of money saving ideas... good... solid; I'm not looking for a plumber or a pest control service; acupuncture for hay-fever... maybe I'll give it a try; some folks are messy; ha. Ha. Different angles on the before and after pictures for the house decluttering service... our solution, to push all the crisp to one side... works every time;

Chicago History
The Magazine of the Chicago History Museum
A trial... hope she gets a reprieve; a Ferris wheel... is that where Ferris Bueller gets his name?;

The Christian Century
Thinking Critically, Living Faithfully
Why only one century?; nice editorial... clear... insightful; protester in search of a cause... found it; news of the day... including more sex scandals; silence... the spirituality of the organ... and whether wearing a silk scarf make one more spiritual;

The Christian Science Monitor Weekly
Social media matters; more news than I would have expected; genghis Khan is not popular in Russia; TV picks... the media in review; another weekly news rag... with an obvious bias;

Christianity Today
I could quit porn... Well,  H E Double Hockey Sticks Bells... who would have thought that was even possible... but why would you try?; does your church need a loan?... how about a Sunday School Tithe Advance Loan from Satan Industries?... Wow!  Get a sense of humor, dude; converting Christians to Christianity... those stuff goes deeper than I would ever have imagined; God's Country; ever note how in an interview, the questions are always bold... and somehow seem to outshine the answers; you could meet her in person... meanwhile, he's got a beard; testify Sister!... also, don't be gay; now, if you'll excuse me, I think I need a drink;

Cidercraft
A Toast to North American Cider
Cider... not beer... not wine... cider; I don't want tender bacon... I want crunchy bacon; I don't think I'm ready to take this 'craft' seriously; oh, that frost looks nice; if at first you don't succeed, try, try again;09 - Mag
Civil War Times
Flags used to have more life... designs came... and designs went; most of the men in this photograph are dead... well, they are all dead, now... but you wouldn't think they almost all be dead a few weeks later; now, that's what old books are supposed to look like... my eyes feel dirty just looking at them; and the deserters got shot... which is, of course, the only reason any stayed after a witnessing battle... or two; a pleasing map, I don't know how to read it; I wonder if Lincoln's death comes down to us so easily, as it masks how many others died; that's how you build a rampart;

Classic Trains
The Golden Years of Railroading
Holding your nose indicates a hotbox; I know that train line; sort of blending together; how big is your piston?... what's a driver?; ah, the early days of color photography documented the decline of, well, whatever kind of locomotives those are; cinders... coal ash... could be a problem;

{Lazing at home, special library free stack edition: next two}

gameinformer
The World's #1 Video Game Magazine
Hey! My old Dungeon & Dragons character is on the cover... his name was Baravon X'lavier... and he was a bit of a psychopath... stayed with me for fifteen years... maybe more... I should really write him up; drone wars... we need you... until the robots do not; excellent!... looks like I snagged the parody issue;  clever deprecatory humor in ever issue; I like comic book art, because it only shows what is important; the best thing about having money is being able to fund your passions.... however niche; I recognize that name... but is he the same person?; the free collector card is not as cool as I thought it would be... it's still pretty cool... and yeah, when I ditch the magazine, I'll be keeping it; skipping the interviews... reading the spec requests; one can manipulate sales rankings in the App Store... among other locales; there he is!... my player character, again!; comedy section is classic... seriously, laugh out loud funny... and I barely know what they are talking about; back to the serious section... but my mind doesn't want to make the switch... so, jokes said with a straight face; maybe I lost interest in games because the Hot Chicks weren't Hi Res enough for my liking;

Nintendo Power
Nintendo was after my time... well, after I was interested, anyway; I never cared for Sim City; Fashion Battles!... Yes!; she looks angry; a whole new level of stupidity... I like it; poster pullout indicates this magazine is ten years old; 'And this incredibly stupid idea came to me when..'; considering the gold, it's an ill conceived two page add; a pretty girl... that has nothing to do with the game; some of these dance titles could be a good way to exercise; populous... not interested, anymore; reviews!... start on page 94... magazine ends on page 112; Pok=C3=A9mon is serious business... the appeal alludes me;

{and now I return to my regular magazine reading order}

Clean Eating
Real food for a healthy, happy life.
A salad I can fall into; good... not vegetarian; far more in sales, marketing, and promotion than article contributors; I like a well-organized salad; soothing precision... lots of symmetry; did I mention?... they have dedicated marketers for supplements; it will impress your guests... no it won't; xylitol nose rinse... even better than water; in short, one could spend a lot more time thinking about their food than I ever plan to;

Climbing
Giving new meaning to the term 'activism'; not really sure what the pads are for; one does not outrun the weather; um, yeah, that!; them be some muscles; an 'honorary man'... because women have no honor?; ha!  Yes!  Very little desire to climb... and it's less than fifteen feet high... gorgeous to look at, though; I want better equipment; now, that's an expensive hunk of wood; belay gloves... for my fire escape kit, should I ever live in a skyscraper; not really sure what that is for; climbing tape makes a good torch... perhaps duct tape, as well; he stole something... what a prankster; yeah, not doing that; an odd sexuality; pocked with injuries; vertigo inspiring pictures... give it your best shot; what do you know?... climbers buy chalk; finally, don't be a poser... money can't buy passion;

Closer
Celebrity, the new normal; dead, but not forgotten... or unable to star in another movie; fun... and gads... my reaction to the first two ads; somebody did the Sudoku... but not the word search or crossword... going back in time, they did two, then one... I checked... so at three Sudokus this issue, they're getting better; in the Spot The Difference pictures, I found one more difference... this really is a child's magazine; memory lane... followed by, flashback corner; I like some of these people; he was him... how time changes a person; it's a different world... and those careers are long ones;

Cloth - Paper - Scissors
explore mixed media
I want that; it would be cool to be an artist in residence... maybe I'll find myself; is it art?... or a waste of time?... why not both?; white Canvas... the in depth how to... next month, the elusive Red Circle; sometimes, it really is all about the marketing; one idea... applied multiple times; there truly is a lot of bad art out there... especially in art magazines; second how to, Making Crap the Hard Way... next month, A Bad Idea Extrapolated Further; he's a creative... so, um, he creates;

Coastal Living
Because you're rich enough to own a second house; those oysters look good... and disgusting; micro servings of food... are not food; fun retro fridge; 'And there we were, pretending to talk, while the photographer took our picture.'; yep, I'm pretty sure I pulled over and took a picture there, too; I've been there... and I've eaten there; I like Tom Gha;

Coin World
World's #1 Resource for Coin & Paper Money Collectors & Investors
He buys collections; wide eyed; $928 for an Eisenhower dime?... you're an idiot; nice coloration; selling your coins has never been so easy... why not buy some coins with the money you make; holy F'n Sh't!; 1887 O... my coin... $20-40... about what I paid for it; not going to bother with the rest of the price lists; I've always been a fan of silver studs; trash money, not to be used was buried... here seen being recovered by bulldozer... why didn't they burn it?; $4.56 million for a nickel!... a nickel!;

Commentary
A pro-Jewish rag... I would say; fun Table of Contents; yep, 'established in 1945 by the American Jewish Committee'; feminist often dislike men... or The Patriarchy, at least; a new insight on an old story... the hope... and the bitter truth; as a leader, how willing are you to oppress your own people; 'the will to kill'; an intelligent discussion on how best to disband the current Iranian power structure; interesting versus petty; fun parables... not really sure if the point... of course, I'm skimming... to put it mildly; well, that rings true; I will happily reject your honorary degree; an ideology that stands for nothing cannot long endure; yeah, art critiques really need to be full of images; high quality high brow;

Consumer Reports On Health
Prescription drugs in liquid form expire quicker;

Consumer Digest
That's the most recent copy?... Wow!  This is a popular magazine... or no longer carried; self driving cars?... not this year... probably, not this decade; cars... lots of cars... nothing to tempt me... ah!  The new Mustang looks nice; computer tablets have gone hybrid; do they include my model?; definitely a library/reference magazine;

Cooking with Paula Deen
Looks good... I'm hungry; comfort food... it's a winning slogan; it's fun to see what appeals... and what does not; snacks in a donut (or bake shop style) to go box... fun; five strikes and you're out... fine, some of those might have been balls; too much rice... too many beans; overall, it's just not that good looking... highly ordinary, in fact; wow!  The best looking dish so far reduces to spaghetti; waffle grilled cheese sandwich sounds interesting... but I want an all-over brown... I associate butter with brown; tourism... whatever it takes;

the Cottage journal
Nine pins!... but do we have all the rolling pins we need?; it's hard to make food look good; stuff... not inspired... the most interesting thing... books sorted by color... I've seen before; it does not pique desire... I'm bored;

Country
The land and life we love
I took similar pictures of Muir Woods when I was there; nice place for a morning cup of tea; God, anyone?; robots will replace you... I don't care if you are Amish or not; and I'll be drinking my last beer of the day watching the sun go down to this view, if you please... not that I drink tea or beer; like the clouds; 'My best friend!'... 'I'm going to make a sweater out of her.'... 'A sweater and a stew.'; God and Family strikes again;

Country Living
Make the pumpkins free last year... so deep in my own little world; yeah, baby!; funny ad; I'm hoping to find ideas for things to do this fall; $250/night for a newly renovated 600sq' barn loft seems a bit pricey; the collection is not... um, compelling; folks do like their alcohol... while I'll forgo mentioning the antiques; them be shotgun shells; photoshop strikes again!; you can see the selfie stick in the picture... that was planned;

Country Sampler
Inspiring Homes - Decorating Marketplace
The Amish have great brand recognition; time for some nuts; it's a decoration... it's not to be lived in; not my aesthetic... probably not even a single room... too rustic... too planty... too earthy... now, if I were a wizard; last half is a catalog... or solid ads; this aesthetic is to be collected over time... generations, even... not purchased from the back of a magazine;

Countryside
& Small Stock Journal
The magazine of modern homesteading
Hobby, artisanal, and family farms... the real deal; them be whole apples in that-there pie... or half... more likely half; I can access my refrigerator controls from anywhere... um, how about if it just works?... set it... forget it; How to do... things I am never going to do; herd health;

CQ
Amateur Radio
Communications & Technology
Big air antennas; regulatory update... and a TV show; contest results... one wonders how those scores are calculated... we are talking about radio receivers, after all; splitters & wires... hardly hi-tech gear; quite the hobby... I wonder about the nature of the type of person it attracts; Saudi Arabia jams incoming Iranian signals; turn that can inward, boy; another us for a Raspberry Pi; dual monitor radar screens with four color graphics... odd, that what I'm looking at isn't the main screen; I do not understand the scores... apparently, everyone is listed; solid classifieds; would have liked a silly sign off;

Creation Illustrated
I thought it would be about crafting... not so, Christianity; their subscription numbers have been 'victimized'... all hail The Oppressor; is loving life an expression of loving God; the Appalachian Trail is not heavily traveled; cute bird... it's the neck that does it; some people really like horses... heck, maybe they like being ridden... or at least, are happy to trade a ride for a bucket of oats; smartphones... if not Evil... certainly, not good... so, not at all like horses;

<intermission>
see?... proof!... everywhere you look... if only you have the eyes to see; seashells by the seashore... flowers by the, um, flower bed; living is God's plan... and it's, also, the Devil's; Jesus was into grass, man;

Creative Knitting
Knits With a Timeless Twist
Knit one, pearl two... and not much more;

Creative Machine Embroidery
Inspiration & Technique For Digitized Designs
A serious setup; choc full of not for me; and I'm done;

{Home Edition: started during <intermission>, above, when I stopped reading at the library mid magazine and picked up the project the next day at home. Darn the repeats}

Racer
Well, I thought it would be about RC Racers... but it's not... Formula 1 and the like... the Big Red R on the front fooled me; a gasoline electric hybrid won the 24 hours of Le Mans in 2012... it's an endurance race... but still; the drivers are not personally important to me... I don't doubt the skill... but I, also, don't value the skill; bumper to bumper going into the last turn at Talladega; not as many people standing there as I would expect... ah, press only... a good crowd, then; a steel and carbon fiber flywheel... looks suitably high-tech; how can you engineer a chemical compound not at the molecular level?; at these speeds, wheel bearings need to be air-cooled; I know what I want for Christmas!; I speed up as I get to the end of magazines... either they front load them... or I'm getting bored with the subject; like s knight suiting up for battle; ah, there's the Radio Controlled Racer... and it tops 100mph;

Crochet World
America's Favorite Crochet Magazine
I do not know the difference between knitting and crochet; needle arts; knit hoodie; some folks likely spend all month referencing the mag... but I was done in ten minutes... maybe less;

Crochet!
Defining Crochet
Fun socks; but for the most, if you've seen one Crochet magazine, you've seen them all;

Cruising World
Your Passport to the Sailing Life
Is this the life?... is that the woman?; rescue buoys... Mayday!  Mayday!; Tatiana... is that the same lady I know?; this and that... a person could learn a lot; all sorts of things to buy... including boats;

CS
Chicago Social
Modern Luxury
True style... coopted by consumerist hopefuls; it's hard to have style; little style... no substance; OMG!... He's looking at me!... I bet he's lost... or wants to know where I got this shirt; wait a second!... women, too, want to waste money on worthless crap; presently, watching her show... still don't care; women of style... so not; why are they heroes?... I assume nothing... nor believe; I wonder if it's what she wants... or the best she can do;

Cuisine At Home
The Impossible Burger is a patty brand... I thought it was chain specific... like Golden Fries; crunchy toast is looking good; most (basically, all) wasabi is imitation wasabi; bread crumbs offer more surface area; is it a 'real' barbecue... verdict, no; ah, but that knife through that burger needs to be serrated;

Cycle World
Body suits go high tech... I'm guessing a suit that inflates as you crash... so, air cushion landing; dreams of post apocalyptic horror; get that three wheel imposter out of my motorcycle magazine; I seriously do not care about the racers... mechanics, maybe... racers, no... but it's really comparing portraiture to an action shot... I prefer the later; I understand the reference enough to be confused by the actress; how to take the trip without bothering with a bike; I don't want to wind up in Las Vegas; high tech spill prevention... cool; body armor... for all your zombie fighting needs;

Dance Magazine
Injuries are common enough to advertise for; again with the 'career ending injury'; it's a young person's game... that ends... often suddenly; right up in there; yes. No. Maybe... in no particular order; they got a lot of subscription cards in this magazine; warm up booties... I wonder at the need; also, in this field, it is the boys who get the gender preference;

Dappled Things
a quarterly journal of ideas, art, & faith
I am very much inclined to like this... the anticipation only aided by the apparent lack of interest in this periodical by my fellow library patrons... this copy is as virgin as it comes; there's an idea there... but I fear I missed it... still, let's all be a little happier, shall we?; given that so much of this magazine project of mine can be best understood as poetry... I have almost no patience for other's similar word play... I wonder how computers will feel; totally don't care... too much focus on art... high art... holy art... I crave substance; so much potential... but the content is a miss... a poetry journal... mostly; yeah, half the book reviews are poetry collections... oh, well;

Decibel
A wonderful slingshot on the cover... should I be identifying the issue?... leave you guessing?... or is that entirely beside the point; some of the new music is, um, awful; 'Nah, I don't buy all my groceries at the same store, you know?'... perfect; we shall resist... everything... every last thing; mommy likes her gardening... once again, perfect; like the art... the aesthetic; I wonder what the predominant Metal Mindset is?; good mood... I am enjoying myself... laughing at the band names; King Crimson is back; Dose Your Dreams... there's an unseen world in here; I like what he has to say... OK... I'll listen to him... I'm making a list, after all... that I doubt I'll get very far into... still, there's something there... I can feel the stories and dreams trying to get out... brings a smile to my face; the downward spiral; even on the fringe, I want to listen to the popular stuff; oh, man!... no one has circled the differences in this Double Negative picture for me... I'll quit after the quick ten; gads, was I really smiling this hard before I started reading this magazine?... I doubt it;

Diabetes Forecast
Great... there's a magazine; that chicken dish looks good; meat and protein are not the enemy; diet and exercise... duh!... almost forgot about getting enough sleep; there are diabetic all-stars; if by saving my own life, I can inspire just one other person to save theirs... then at least, I will have saved my own life... suckers;

Digital Photography
Make your photos look less like photos; and thus, another valiant gladiator falls for our amusement; seems easy enough; I can see how the cost of equipment could get out of hand very quickly; nice symmetry; a technical article for non-technicians too tediously non-informative to read;

Digital Photo Pro
Let's make some money off of this hobby of ours, already; I probably could sell bad portraits of the stars... I'm thinking access is the key; more of an inspiration than a go by... be successful... stay successful... oh, and don't be unsuccessful; sorry, posting to a website is not the agency sort of relationship I am looking for; it would nice to be a professional photographer... it would be even nicer to simply be paid for that which I would otherwise do;

Discover
Science For The Curious
'The Great Dying'... never heard of it... who started calling The Great Extinction this?; more fluff than substance... tell me about this spacesuit... oh, spacesuit was all you had; already done... not half through; if you don't understand it; microtubules... one word... the discussion may be syntactic; 'used with permission'... you mean, they didn't pay you?... money on the table, dude... money on the table;

Do It Yourself
You know, if you want it done right; that's a nicely organized wall; a catalog by any other name... would be only slightly less deceptive;

Doctor Who Magazine
The OFFICIAL MAGAZINE of the BBC television series
Jumpsuit wearing Space Babes... Yowza!; there is, was, and will only ever be one Doctor... even if I'm not willing to watch him, anymore; looking for story ideas; ha!  He's got very white hair, these days; chemistry!... without it, you ain't no actor; twenty plus years older... I always do the math; of itself, your fandom is not compelling; London, 1965; crap comics; come on!... use real leather and rivets when making your very own Vortex Manipulator; Doctor Who and the Cat People... purr-fect!;

Dogster Magazine
For the Love of Dog
Some dogs are lucky enough to have 'Forever Homes'; Great Courses is all over the place... I prefer YouTube; ice chew toys... with fruit and vegetable flavors... peas and carrots, anyone?; peppermint will make a dog's breath smell better... who would have thought?; rather than keep a dog leashed in a yard, pen it up... in a crate... what crappy advice; a celebrity is anyone strangers follow on social media... as in, if enough strangers follow you, congratulations, you are now a celebrity; the only cost is ellipsis;

Dolls
Creepy... fun; could make a life size tribe of pixie fairies... I think that's essentially what others have done; creepy elbow joints; ah, but do I wish to collect someone else's art?; a possible toy show; we have elf!; oh, and an eyeglass wearing Henrietta Potter type on the cover... just so you know;

domino
The style issue; like the plush pink staircase; ha!... found the Elf!; get your culture fix; they don't want things... so, here are some things you can get them; products helpfully organized by color; turning into a catalogue... and I'm losing interest; oddly, the only thing of interest wasn't for sale... maybe that's why it was interesting; they were very cool... and I cannot name a single one of their songs; we serve the under-served... I love the irony;

Downbeat
Bright red dress on the cover... and I think I read this magazine at the Jazz Festival; her purpose is to be a light for others... leading them where?; I think I covered this... and if not, I'm skipping... once was enough;

{Lazy Chair Edition:
Brought to you from the comfort of my living room.}

The American Legion
The magazine for a strong America
I got lost in the jacket advertisement on the back cover; one vet respecting another on the cover; I would rather have (buy) a silver coin than a palladium; there are 2,000,000 American Legion members; mesothelioma... is a word that appears on my spell check... and is worth money if you have it... lung cancer caused by breathing asbestos; oh, a Storm Jacket advertisement, this time; interesting political commentary (for/against) on an issue I care about... or at least have opinion... Janus v. AFSCME; has anyone ever rated JD Power; 'Freedom Isn't Free'... but do these colors run?; politics, dude; can you take responsibility for something?... if you don't foot the bill; they'll know that you served by your clothes... by your clothes... yes, they'll know that you served by your clothes; historical memorials... by those who served; yeah, I don't like the euphemism 'served'; can a political organization ever be more than 'self-serving'?; and in return for this gift... we will be taking a few publicity stills; I like joke pages;

AAII
American Association of Individual Investors
Dice on the cover... so, it's all a crap shoot?; the opinions are not their own... might as well say 'for entertainment purposes only'; following the pack does not yield better performance; investing in funds tends to yield worse returns than a benchmark... when the fund is the benchmark... for timing and mathematical reasons; she used to play poker... but talking about it pays better... its true with most things... for most speaker; sometimes companies misrepresent their financials; that's a formula I won't be using; comparing grasshoppers and ants is like comparing apples and oranges... and is highly misleading... eh, maybe I was hasty... I still want more information, though; privacy policy... always a misnamed sham;

Honolulu
Hawai'i's Magazine Since 1888
Alone... in her luxury; she studied Waikiki for this story... why not find someone who has been studying it all their life?; ah, so that's what paradise looks like; Gomer Pile is dead; more crap I can't imagine spending money on; only a quarter of the people there are residents... the rest, workers... visitors; a lot of effort went into making that not look good; I know most of those landmarks; every culture is a warrior culture; don't care about dentists; I really don't like what I don't like;

Flying
Cessna on the cover; I have every expectation this will be a repeat; and then, there are helicopters... still, no... at least, in the real world; Cessna Denali... named after the mountain... not the character; looks fun; in the air wifi is priced by the hour... and costs as much as a month; if I told you why I need a parachute... I'd have to kill you; I don't want a private jet... not even in my daydreams... and those can get pretty extravagant; make a grass landing strip in your own backyard... backhoe required;

Travel Illinois
The craft beer edition... you know, get culture, while you get your drunk on; wet snow and alcohol... the perfect combination; too far south; Rockford, Stroll on State Parade; maybe, I should go to a Forest Preserve, tomorrow... the leaves, they are a'changing; not much thought beyond... too far... save for later... and not interested; definitely more fall than winter;

{Time to leave my comfy chair.}

Dr. Oz
The Good Life
Special Edition
The Oz 100; I am not inclined to like the magazine; OK... I'm warming... stupid article... impressive presentation; a warm bath will help you sleep; makeup advice... lots of it; I'm seeing a lot of homemade popsicles, these days; thick pages belies the content;

Drag Racer
Make way for the mongoose; seems a bit chubby... wouldn't a lighter driver be an advantage?; I have no one on my team... a lie... but there is no working group; lots of black and whit shots... is the heyday over?; beer can mufflers... or are those exhaust covers?; does the magazine capture the speed?... the excitement?; drinking and driving, bad... yearly fatalities still in the five digit range... +/- 35,000;

Duke Medicine
Health News
Doctor Perspectives on the Medical Headlines
E-cigarettes raise blood pressure; eat all the eggs you (or at least, I) want; I should up my Vitamin D intake; not medical advice... full disclaimer... yards-yada... so on, and so forth;

Dun Magazine
A picture of the one that got away... leads the way; waders get you in the action... what is the Fantasy equivalent; fly designs (as in, fly fishing) have a history; the legendary Golden Dorado... not your ordinary fish; $299.99 for a water cooler... ah, catch a few 'golden fish and you, too, can afford one; most melanoma doesn't kill; casting for Cancer; when posing with your catch, remember to make a fish face; birds!... birds, everywhere!;

Dwell
At Home in the Modern World
A house with no inside... on the outside... of the magazine, that is... so, like, the cover shot; your creative tools are so last generation; is any human not a 'creative'?... is it even possible?; 'I made the chair out of industrial grade toxic waste.'... 'Yes, one of the byproducts is desire to remain standing.'... 'I'm, also, thinking about turning it into a dietary supplement for those wishing to lose weight.'; gads!... it's a hit!; if I have to share it, it's not mine; filling space... but is it the easy way?... or the hard way?;

Early American Life
Setting the table... in anachronistic times; sorry, they're 'historical interpreters'; Muzzle Loader would be a competing magazine... wonder if I'll find a copy; I doubt they had time to cover their ears in times of old; I don't care about historical accuracy... well, in movies... but I can see why they do;

Earth
The Dutch to the rescue!; it would appear the government controls flood insurance... and probably is the major underwriter; 'gateway awareness'... what educators may lack; them Vikings were smart; Sand Dunes in Spaaace!; 'Atmospheric Rivers'!... catchy, don't you think?; the Great Pyramids were built around hills; it is hard to respect the technical superiority of certain endeavors... dykes coming rapidly to mind;

Eat This
Not That!
The Magazine!; nachos!... el more complicated than they need to be; food is the number one discretionary purchase item in America... you know, if you consider anything beyond rice and beans to be a luxury; frozen pizza does not compare to a forty dollar pie; sorry, where you saying something?; sorry, still not getting it; ironic, a weight loss magazine is taking junk food advertising money... they must be; add vegetables!... no vegetables?  Try vegetables!... Vegetables!... seriously, have you heard about vegetables?; cook until done; soup is you friend... Steve?  Not so much; I'm hungry... I want roast duck with plum dressing; she needs more protein... in her shake... just saying; bacon fried meat sounds good, too;

Ebony
Black on black... wearing black... the new black; 'Girlfriend Getaways'!... say no more; it's a woman's magazine; the anti-jail movement; for when you want to fit in with the street people; OK. Yeah. Venice Beach... sad to say, I had to bring up a map to remember the name; the Black Panther look; it's not even a good look... as much as I like him; food trucks... or, you know, for the same price, I'll take a seat; remember, boys, black on black violence starts with your wife; I like the conceit... even better when I thought it was mine; the trust is, I like McDonald's... I didn't as a kid... diced onions... no good;

The Economist
Do you really need a magazine article to know start ups are leaving the valley... because of insane rents... and believe it or not, not everyone wants to live in the valley; email or text messaging... did you know, you can get a specialized app that will do less than that; speed reading... input... no output... must go... consuming knowledge; I expect bitcoin to be an item of nostalgia within ten years... prove me wrong; China equals US in start ups... given that I have no idea what that means... still, China... Woke the Dragon; I want Trump to get slaughtered... at the polls; BitCoin... I'm surprised it's lasted this long... 22 terawatt of power a year in mining... gads; more people are living alone... prediction: friendship will become part of the market; a thick magazine... lots of content... it's a reader; I've heard of this guy... the ultimate blogger... in book form... ah, but would he have continued if no one read... and is that worse or better... better, I'd rather have the cash;

{Acquired in my travels. I'm not expecting the library to have this one.}

JUF News
Jewish United Fund; where are we?... Taiwan?; what does it mean to be Jewish?; dying broke may be the way to go... I should start doing the math... but what age to assume?; you flew a thousand miles to do menial labor?... can't the locals do it?... so many questions; same ellipsis er, crap... different religion; I wonder what the male/female readership rate is for magazines overall; elevators can have a Sabbath Mode... full automation... seems like a cheat to me... No TV Tuesday... so, I just leave it on; them be some skinny people; it is arrogant not to forgive sin... is it?; blessings for the departed... or those who remain... many pages worth... more than I would have expected; make the ask; I have yet to see good modern dance... is that a lie?... well, if it is, I cannot pinpoint the moment in time; births!... bar/bats... marriages... all sorts of happy things; congrats to the bride, groom... and proud parents;

{We now return you to your regularly scheduled magazine order.}

Elle
Sequin skin leopard effect on cover; adventure awaits behind those eyes... well, behind that glass wear, at least; but is it worth the price paid; for people without style; nailed it... not really; is he sexy?; not much of a boy; I do like the ads; so stupid, it's styling; it looks great... but does she look great in it?; that slow boring middle section, waiting for the spreads; art... or assemblage?... either way, it works for me; and yet, she wears makeup; I bought new lights so I could take better pictures... they're LED and have color control; real love... stupid tats; stupider boots; cancer with Libra Rising... in it to win it... looking for a Winter Project;

English Home
Celebrating the essence of  English style
Elle is a hard act to follow... I doubt the Cotswolds are up to it; I don't believe those books have been read... leastwise, not in that room; new thatch... old thatch; yeah, that's not the important part; can we sell you something; finally, chickens have been known to take after their owners;

ENR
Engineering News-Record
I call those concrete pumping cranes spiders; I have no idea what they are building; big cracks... bigger liability; operating licenses for private dams (no matter how big) have to be renewed; $27 billion and counting for a new nuclear power plant; court is now in session; the concrete is forty degrees when poured... presumably, that's the ambient ground temperature; cost of construction going up... maybe $10,000 more for a new house due to tariffs... yeah, I'm rounding up from $9,000; special advertising... skip; tax payers will need to be prepared... to pay more... ain't that always the way;

Entrepreneur
Tats make the man... harder to take seriously... not even good tats... coloring that goatee took skill, though; nothing is new... so why aren't patents dead?; big on process... but I'm not getting the Big Idea... I want the Big Idea... doesn't matter how fast you go if you're moving in the wrong direction; I want money... but I don't want to make decisions based on money... basically, to please idiots; that's an eight page ad... for a mattress; I'm leery of signing an Non Disclosure Agreement without being paid some cash... enough to hire a lawyer to fight the NDA, just as a for instance... the article did not change my mind; I've been thinking about batting a ball around for a long time; go figure, having legal team is important in the cannabis industry... to out of my safe zone.... also, not really interested... though, when truly legal, I'll grow a tree... not bush, tree; vape... yeah, you can get it like that; so, how do I buy bulk?; I don't want a franchise... I do not see the value added; there are 61,086 7-Elevens; Ha, Jimmy John's is a franchise; I have little desire to do business with franchise... it's almost a list of who not to do business with; we're a family... um, I'm leery of the concept;

ESPN
He's a ninja... only, you can see him... and if you couldn't, there wouldn't be much point; people make money doing weird things... it's like a zoo I Scheme of desire; maybe fun is all there is... that everything follows fun... and if not, the what's the harm in trying?; and that's how you cut a lawn... likely, make a visit to the emergency room, as well... but that's a different story; headset tidbits; yeah, the commercials are the best part; oh, wait... isn't betting against the law?; a play by play of a shooting... forgot to note the score... I feel no shame... this is your world and it sucks... oh, right fun... so, best go capture some sun;

Esquire
Man At His Best
Sycamore trees; sockless is senseless; I find it hard to find the sense; funny stuff... worth a chuckle; I very much like the idea of being cross fit... but is it so hard to come up with your own program?; masturbating to muppets... classic; working on a Billion project on the side... if I won the lottery, tomorrow... huge jackpot... getting plenty of ideas as I flip through; for when you're serious... about sex; they gave them a free watch... probably more... so I would buy it... I will not buy it... nope, not even with a billion in the bank; he's getting old; only idiots vape... but since you're an idiot, too, why not try this; I assume Best Of Lists are paid for advertising in disguise; everyone has a mental illness... being normal isn't normal; the movies you want to see... or that can pay for the copy space... truth is, I don't know how that works;

Essence
Global Beauty Issue
Big hair... red sweater... you are different... worth the second look... but the third?; 'attaining beauty'; hey, it could work; personally, I hope it makes me money... passes the time... and/or gives life meaning; there are a lot of wetbacks from the Caribbean;

Family Circle
Roast pepper, herb aioli sandwich; the cereal looks better; nope... not a chance; twenty-five meals... how many are winners?... wow... none... well, not with big glossy pictures... note, this is not a glossy magazine... more like Sunday magazine insert; solid analysis of parent to child to child to parent relationships... minus the children, of course... so, parent to parent, because children; fun take on decorating children's rooms... the why's and wherefore's;

Family Fun
Great Memories Start Here
I'm a kid... I'm happy... my mom reads Family Fun; keeping the kids off-screen; kiwi ice pops; no cars allowed... I like; good design... no, I don't want to eat;

the family handyman
Privacy + Plants... no thanks; but I want that kitchen organizer; photograph may be retouched slightly... by the by, torch is slang for flashlight; interesting trick;  how to paint... how to stain... is this part of my future; make new wood look old... it's cheaper... oh, but it's a lot of work; hiding spots... they're good... maybe I should up my game; 'Our son is easily pleased. We've stopped expecting much.  It eases the disappointment.'; look at those arms... look at them, darn you!  Look at them!; it's so easy... just get your wife to do it... oh, and make her wear a bikini when she does... you'll thank us; it's always time to feed the dog; also, I always tend to like the ending shorts;

family tree
Unbelievably, she has great grand parents; there's a museum for everything; the writing assignment might be compelling... but I did not locate the page easily in prior issues; find your family... but what if I don't want to be found; the truth is: at this point in time, I'm almost hostile to the concept;

Fast Company
Blue Man... not in a group; I don't even know what Spotify is... some kind of streaming service... I use YouTube; if it weren't so expensive... it wouldn't be as good; cannabis is coming; $400 entry fee for magazine list contest... nope... never; oh, Spotify is giving the game away... to the tune of a half billion dollars a year... quite the burn rate; I dislike automated testing... please read this page and offer me a job... because I am just not going to read your drivel prior to begging for a job I do not need... um, so maybe that's why I have the time to read all these magazines; I don't want to be impressed... I have a need not to be impressed; fun timeline.... day 827: I may work again... but not anytime soon; double page intro spread for McDonald's article... did they pay for that?... the world may never know; the Impossible Burger is doing well for itself; anything is better than nothing; at the heart of many successful companies, you will usually find a successful company;

Field & Stream
The Soul of the Total Outdoorsman
How do you count points?... is that six?... or eight?; a lot of BS; maybe fishing is more my speed?; but seriously, they have no credibility; solid Q&A; bismuth or tungsten?; there you go... the kid has a sponsor; scratchy!  Scratchy!; shoot for the arse... the long way through; this crap, again... an ax is an is an ax; costs more than a gun; torque limiting wrenches look cool; happy ending... the deer dies;

Film Comment
Published by the Film Society of Lincoln Center
Shsh!... she's sleeping; making the unreal real; overwhelmingly not interested... which is strange, because I am always on the lookout for more content; Ready Player One... sure, I am jealous... I'll watch it... maybe read it; lots of words... little interest... it's tough making a movie seem more than it is; movie poster end note; Outer Limits... the one hit;

FilmFare
Films - Fashion - Lifestyle
They make a nice couple... but shouldn't that be his hand?; a second cover?; there is a certain level of muscularture where I am not jealous... we're simply not playing the same game; if you love them... you love them; just be happy; aeroplane rice... and Red Rocket Beans; Indian Theater... in India!... looks pretty snazzy... the advertising is wasted on me, though; nicotine free chew... the stuff I had tasted awful; the photo spreads have quotes or captions... it takes me back; thinking of a high school friend;

Fine Gardening
Molinia for Millennials; do, that's what a dahlia looks like; comes with a calendar... handy; an article custom fit for me... skipped... went back... didn't last long... I just don't care; went back to look at the dahlia... it was the most interesting thing;

Fine Homebuilding
Design - Build - Remodel
It's a two man job... if you want everything to go smoothly; all glass is desirous... if one owns all the eye can see; is that a functional beard?; electrical wiring can be just useful without the wiring... just not for conducting electricity; I wonder how hard it is to get quality craftsmanship that exceeds code... you know, the best possible... OK. Can't afford that. What do we cut?; and that's how you measure concrete slump; Tom Sawyer?... did he saw?; if you go against the grain... sometimes it's worth more; diamond paste; few have families worth speaking of... if you give them that... you give them a lot;

{Skipping Flying, wherever that works in, as already did from the comfort of my easy chair.}

Fine Wood Working
By Taunton; tea box?... I was thinking more like poker chip holder; there will always be a need for the best artisans... at everything... even flinting arrowheads; lots of tools; doubtful I'll ever do this again... I was raised in a house with a full shop... if absent a Master Woodworker; Going Big!... Going Burl!; detailed project walk throughs for the most... worth the five minutes... as only novel things can be; as fine an art as any; I don't even want to collect the tools;

First
for women
Red dress... the bounty of happiness; I must admit, I am expecting lots of useless information... obvious triviality; out dress the stars; see, here's the thing... water has no calories; better... because, marketing; rub toes... do sit-ups without noticing; be more mindful... be more physical... come on, make up your mind; not as happy doing the plank, are you?; maybe, I'll have salami sandwich in lieu of a hamburger, tonight; "I found that folks giving me money for my complaint solved my complaint."; if you train them right, elephants are excellent hula hoop dancers... oh, wait!  I'm thinking of photoshop; she's very good at telling people what they want to hear about their dreams; I like game pages... took me a long time to find that last difference... even though it was already circled; see, your birthday is a special day; aww... so cute;

First Things
Brown... just brown; breaking that binding... feel the new; does an idea need to be published in book form?... is this the highest venue?... the ultimate market of ideas?; who?... I fear it shall be a common refrain; when you only have two choices, both are usually equally good or bad; philosopher... the religious intellectual; The Church fears its own demise... as well, it should; there is a difference between house and home; good old fashioned messianic humor; his book collection was worth $166,000; the terms, finally, defined; much self reflection... for the person of letters; for solidarity... a solid leader is required;

Food & Wine
South of the border; where's the meat... oh, that's fish... looks raw; his place of hers?; spendthrift water... it's called tap; do I care?... no; fungi infested corn... a delicacy... shows how hard it is to get good, clean umami; trying hard to charge more... without making it more expensive; it will kill you dead; some photos must be fun to take; agave... a root plant... very pineapple-like; too much black... how about a deep rich brown, instead; yeah, seeing lots of black, now; hey, it's Super Mario's Brother!;

Forbes
From A to Z; to get the money, he has to sell his power; tax law interpretation as a service; twenty-five full time fact checkers... they look like interns... I wonder what the cost per hour averages to; given the thesis, why do we need the book... ah, it's written by a Forbes guy; e-cigarettes are priced to beat cigarettes... but not by much; computer gaming training sites; most people who buy an electric guitar aren't using it after a year... probably goes for everything... well, not your house or your car... but everything else; talented idiots abound; gads, why are folks still buying watches... social signaling?... or idiocy?... no need to guess my answer; is it a girl or a boy?... how about, neither?; I guess, I undervalue LinkedIn, because I'm not looking for a job... not really; many people have more money than I do; there's money in everything... probably even in this... somehow... someway; I am most definitely not in a better mood;

Foreign Affairs
The claw decides; such a good magazine... several months old... shame I'm the one breaking its spine; no one knows... everyone is a fool... if you march to the drummer, expect to die; the devil you know... or the one that comes knocking on your door; so, it's a book except; 'a term I coined'... and no one else has bothered to accept; did Marx predict?... or did he observe?; labor-for participation... I decline; larger firms are not intrinsically more efficient... but they are legally (regulatory) more efficient; the market and the government are one... it changes my thinking on everything... so, when others say market, I hear status quo... merely the current instantiation; I, for one, welcome our new robotic overlords; I'll give Trump that he tries; found a bookmark; popular democratic mobilization... you mean insurrections; Russia is the enemy... on this, I agree; yes. Yes. I see no problem with that...  so easy, I leave the details to you; do Americans hold American beliefs?; overall the fed takes in 26% as tax; and the beat goes on; why make a question one dimensional?;

FP
Foreign Policy
Looks so good, I opted for a double header... robots... then, war; he's younger than me... by far... I want the editorialship to be the culmination of a lifetime... not a stepping stone; such bravery; jobs... old and new; regulation... or regulation; presently, at best, there are five robots for every human on the production line; diplomat of the year; lead story... did I learn anything?... anything I didn't already know?; you need my help... well, what did you expect me to say?; last half, advertising; still, let's start the second half of this doubleheader; 'The world desperately needs digital Geneva Conventions'... why?... are you expecting to lose?; nice weapons tech list... though, CHAMP is EMP rebranded; one by sea... one by land; the obvious is borne out by a scientific study, once again; the common man's AI; there's more than meets the eye... and to the victor, go the spoils; 'we want you to want us'... don't we all; the nuclear bazooka... and you thought a rail-gun was kick-s; in the end, there was no need for a double header... I feel such deja vu;

Forks Over Knives
Whole-Food Plant-Based Lifestyle
Corn shells... stuffed with corn... and a side of corn... now, with more corn; more frozen fruit pop ideas... yay; starch is not the enemy... processed starch is... also, meat; B12!; some folks are good at telling, 'Hey!  Look at me!'; more like a book in magazine format... too much, welcome to the concept information; I don't like the look of a powdered sugar finish... it looks messy; what this magazine is missing is meat; I had wild rice for lunch... they'd be proud; I'm having cheese for supper... not so much; I would say it failed the salivation test... because, you know, I'm not;

Fortune
I don't dig Powerful Women... nor am I especially attracted to Powerful Men, either; sure, you can choose Your boss; lots of people get sick... but if you ask me, it sounds like s good way to die; how to keep the system alive once it's outlived its usefulness?; thought it was a razor; chairman, President, & CEO... sounds like a conflict of interests; so, basically, making money; we were cautious about the possibility of wrongdoing, which we averted, so there was none... any questions... sorry, too late, no more Q&A; four weeks of training... to field phone calls;

Four Wheeler
A tow truck also ran... I don't know how to differentiate the centerpiece... a seemingly new truck; trivial trivia; just make them cheaper... ah, it doesn't go to the final purchaser; well, two of them have sponsors... not bad on the roll of a die; I like the idea of all the gear... reminds me of packing up my Big Jim camper as a kid; and thus ends the lifestyle portion of the magazine; where the tire sort of, kind of, meets the rock... but only half way; soothing... snow;  it's bulletproof... whatever it is;

Far Noi
Chicagoland's Italian American Voice
Still, no Oscar... or maybe they fixed that... either way, a person that rich should be doing it their way; cry me a river... also, that wasn't the reason; that's what fat looks like... legislative or otherwise; seriously?... again?  Italians (or Chicagolandians) are a highly litigious bunch; hair bigger than she is... yeah, I'm calling her small minded; letting everyone know what they already know; on pizza?; seriously cool... so, is there a hotel?... cafe?... grocery story?... oh; the moral?... never trust a carpenter!; how can you not know how to roast a turkey?; practice makes perfect... and, of course, they won't notice your mistakes; memorials; and the language of amore wrapping it up;

Free Inquiry
Celebrating Reason and Humanity
Sally watches seagulls soaring into the sunset at the seashore; the library I am sitting in has mostly empty seats... four seats per table... usually, just one patron... hey, I'm a patron!; tax religions... tax everyone... equally, as little as possible; guns for everyone... would lead to guns for no one; but not fifty years ago; suicide is cost effective... thus, euthanasia always entails a conflict of interest... descendent, insurers, and so on; the writers of the gospels may have fudged certain details... localized the stories, as it were; 'An Anthology of Iron Age Texts'... aka The Bible; The Bible is outdated... but really, that Iron Age Text thing drives the point home; instead of praying, some folks just close their eyes... and perhaps think about the game; religion, dogma, philosophy, and belief... synonymous to me... effects all... for, it answers why... and what... and where... how and how often; some folks don't get the concept of all powerful... or in the beginning... it's a logical axiom... check and mate, you dolt; I will torture you... but rest assured, I do this for my own pleasure... as your own good is the least of my concerns; um, they deserved to die... read your scripture, boy... or girl; letters get the small print; and I'm out... drops Magazine in return bin... walks out of library;

game informer
Looks like a transformer... or a health care accounts representative... call it a claims adjuster; I don't engage in shared worlds very often; a movie ticket is not enough... anymore; sounds full... I mean, the plot is obviously full of holes... but sometimes, that's the price you pay; forgot I was reading a contemporary magazine, for a moment there; there's a website for that; people waste money... who am I to talk?... I waste time; I find the pixelated characters more interesting than the gameplay... I'm looking at you, Primrose... a little off her bloom, she ain't too prim; pure holodeck RPG'ing would be great fun... I can wait; better red than dead; it was a great book (meaningful to me) about a juggler king... I wouldn't bother to read it again; fetish engaged; I'm just thinking about CIV IV, now... going to place The Frozen North: Ice Islands, next; fake news... does it really matter... I mean, there's a truth in there somewhere;

Garden Gate
A 'perfect garden path'... perfect; now, with more advertising... well, soon, anyhow; flowers don't interest me; that railroad tie path looks pretty cool, though; hoses, more interesting; the wonders of elbow grease; Eek!... a Klick'it!;

German Life
Germany - Austria - Switzerland
House of Hesse... how many numerical patterns can you make from the window arrangements?; I thought it was a particle collider; corn on the cob is such a crappy faire food;  things go better with Goethe; changing the world... one multi-hub train station at a time; history... the coin jewelry was interesting... 'Do you have the coin?'... if you wear it, they don't have to ask; wouldn't that be Russian Cuisine?;

Gluten Free
Delicious Eating - Healthy Living
Beer is gluten free... so are hamburgers... OK... deal me in; eh, maybe only certain varieties of beer; I wonder how many people have celiac disease; glutinous rice contains no gluten; there are no good carbohydrates; if you may need one, then carry two... epinephrine injectors; yeah, but her genes are for sh#t; gluten... equivalent to loaded guns, rabid bats, and angry rattlesnakes to some;

Golf Digest
Who?... What?... eh, just do it ellipsis; it can't hurt to talk nice about the guy with the big name... a brand in himself; oh, yeah!... fist bump!; shorts are better than longs; punch into a bucket of rice... or was that grab... something like that; it is amazing they are getting paid;

Golf Digest
{On account of being a duplicate of the previous, it seems like a title error to me.}
White on black; I think you're supposed to hit the same ball throughout; he's the man; golf (in any way, shape, or form) is not on my bucket list; Hawaii is not as you might imagine it... so much money... packed tight... with nothing for the rest; I guess, I have enough;

GQ
Women love him... men hate him... dogs fear him... I belittle him; fools wear... what angels... heck, just make sure you don't follow; more crazy coo-coos; taken in black and white... he's very dark; on the cover... and two ads so far; would you go hiking without socks?... well, I wouldn't; looks cool... still don't need a watch; two HIV prevention ads... and counting... dude on cover in neither; oh, yes... give me a close up on the head shave; hopefully, your kids die off before mine... eh, I'm OK with a tie; necklace... his own; opinions... my own;

Gramophone
Um, is that a cello you're hiding behind... or are you just glad to be on the cover; sorry, it was a violin; she's also willing and able to wear revealing clothing; stop making up words... so, like, a popular interest story; not quite radioactive; ha!  Electrical components as interesting as anything else;

Granta
The Magazine of New Writing
The Dance of the Bed; an uncracked spine... never opened; an English rag; 'grandeur of the gutter'; the poem started strong; non-costume play; I'm not really reading the stories... not even really... just not; stories that read like like personal histories... so, maybe very good;

Guideposts
True Stories of Hope and Inspiration
It's not the Matt & Erin I know; how to be s good member of your church community; if I were to bake, who would I bake for?; once again, am I the first to read?... or are reader of the type not to throw away the slip-in subscription cards; un-retire as a driver... or other low pay, non-professional job; shivers down my spine... well, a smile on my face as I write this, anyhow; happy ending... they traded it in for a ping pong table; brain support supplements... the perfect Christmas gift for every idiot I know;

Guitar Player
Play Better - Sound Better
BS... Joe BS; if Walter Mathew... weren't Walter Mathew; the art of tuning the string; more uses for duct tape; you can play through on the same amplifier... it changes things; lots of big name stars... the tail is long; musical chords... yesh!; dreaming of a six-string on my back... while a steel horse I ride... mangled lyrics aside; a magazine of dreams... and desire;

Hack Space
Technology In Your Hands
Make - Build - Hack - Create
Remember, friends... drone bees are not worker bees; a shopping list of possible projects... not, yet, finding the one for me... prognosis not optimistic; the first drones were decoy targets... you hear that, robots?; zip ties... the wave of the future; Rocket Beest... I do long for some sort of tangible fantasy (or gothic high-tech) collectible game type thing; I like the solar powered box; drinking straws as construction material... have I mentioned, I intend to use books; pointers... hard core populism; ah, this magazine is MagPi 2.0... a glossier reboot of the Raspberry Pi magazine; why hardwire it?; but I don't want push notifications; is Google a sponsor?... looking back.., wait! What's this?... 'published by Raspberry Pi (Trading) Ltd... nailed it!; a calculator... hmmm;

Harvard Business Review
Business Cat is on the cover... Wait!... that's not Business Cat!; how to signal that you're good at business... you know, without being good at business; I'd rather have technology; frequent business travelers tend to drink... and be depressed; an intertwining of effects... predict the results... I dare you; I wouldn't feel bad asking for a donation for a charity I believed in... it's making the sale you don't believe in that's difficult; is anyone anywhere arguing against curiosity?; get more by getting more... also, encourage target behavior; wonderful balancing acts... only in the free world; get out of your comfort zone... make that your comfort zone... now, get out of your comfort zone; topic... obstacle... solution... it's that easy; a very small area of knowledge (computing) accounts for a very large portion of the economy; grit?... not being smart enough to swerve?; good... better... best... but good has to be good enough... I usually buy good... but, of course, that's a lie; everything is going to be alright; shiny; napping works; yep, he is her brother... any authority denied;

Harvard Health Letter
Let your fingers do the walking... on your feet; do it right... nothing new, here; gads!... advice on washing hands; on the other hand... Shingrix; avoid contact with liquid nitrogen... or things that have recently been in contact with liquid nitrogen;

Harvard Heart Letter
Non-sugar added lemonade... I have some just last night; reverse causation... and no, it doesn't mean that I'm right and you're wrong... wait!... What?... never mind; I don't think I have sleep apnea; aspirin can help prevent heart attacks; um, never mind; sugar!... just say no;

Hello
Moles be a'comming in her future... also, crow's feet... him, I just don't like; yes, I would like to wake up to that; they keep on getting married; this is the thing... what it all boils down to... he did not earn that Sword of Honour... so either swords or honour does not exist... not in any meaningful sense; cute little monkey feet; I like the big glossy oversized pages... get right up in there; color coordinated books... means you're not really a reader; the perfume sample bubble is mesmerizing... fun to play with; sometimes it skips a generation;

Hemmings
Classic Car
The Definitive All-American Collector-Car Magazine
They're all pink on the inside... er, red; I would have guessed there'd be more to latch onto; the Edsel Ranger looks cool... very Blues Brothers; phaeton... sounds esoteric; some of those old cars are very cool... note how all the pictures are in black and white... some not even pictures, mere illustrations; the rally has an appeal... I like that there are lunch stops... I wonder the rules;

Hemmings
Motor News
World's Largest Collector-Car Marketplace
Yippie!... Great Race coverage; 4-4-2... not four forty-two, you heathen; uh-oh... missing pages; Northeast edition... of the Great Race, that is; Collector-Car Appreciation Day; dual spare tires; too hot or too cold; Harlan did not make it; skipping the ads... so, skipping the rest; $1,500/page times 500 pages of advertising... close to a million an issue... at a guess;

Hemmings
muscle machines
The "RIDDLER VII"; new and improved; full size Hot Wheels; dreaming about high school auto shop... the good ones would let star students check out cars overnight; first car is l one's first girlfriend; the winter car project;

{Armchair Edition}

Food Network Magazine
Right on Target... all the food that's fit to print; raisins!... Ha.; looked good until... coffee; not thrilled with the index... but then, I'm tearing the pages out as I go... and not looking back; Cookmarks!; only eight more years and you can vote; in not really so passionate one way or another; fun and games with coffee; retirement planning... inside joke... you'll never get it... back in the day, folks were rumored to eat dog food, as low cost pate; neither coffee nor bourbon actually taste good; teach your kids how not to cook; how do you not precook precooked rotisserie chicken?; glowing melon jack-o-lanterns... nice... and now, you've gone too far; cup-o-spaghetti as an appetizer... I don't do appetizers much;

Traditional Home
The ubiquitous white couch takes center stage; nope... I fail to see the attraction... no, that's not it... indifference is not alluring; it's transformative; ah, it's for the idiot crowd... sorry, for those who seek form over function... irregardless of function; a guest instagrammer; to wit, I give you the line; philosophy strikes deep... or it just a surface finish; it's a good start... he needs a mollifying influence; I haven't got time for the... subterfuge; I give you the sippy cup; an in refrigerator coffee dispenser; a bit cluttered... well, OK... it's a restaurant;  I've seen that couch before... see, I told you they were ubiquitous; if it was made to be a collectible, it's not a collectible... it's not a collectible; 'Hey!  What are you doing with that pole?"; look how we spent millions;

News China
It's old... time to rebrand the Middle Kingdom; affordable tombs; how to kill charity; towering Inferno... Shanghai style; free travel!... sign me up!; SOE... State Owned Enterprise; E-Bike.. not as cool as it sounds; bad poetry... deserves a bad poetry award; how can the tide not turn against public officials... well, I suppose if the tide was rising fast enough; civil servants are needed for a civil society;

{Still in that arm chair. Haven't been to the library all week. Playing computer games, don't you know.}

The Pioneer Woman Magazine
I bet that dog doesn't even belong to her... also, allergic to pumpkins; pure Evil; it looks like the view from Parker Ranch Headquarters... I've dreamed of working from home there, too; "I do not own socks"... "I own socks"... I guess, it matters what "own" means; on the set... behind the set; wow!... all that money... and still looks slap-dash; go play outside or something; a life of wealth and privilege; coloring the image; six shooters by the front door... handy for hunting traveling salesmen... and other varmints; dip in chocolate... press on toppings... viola!; lots of recipes... not of interest to me... they never are... though, I could go for a cup of that queso soup; hitting all the wrong notes... almost like they were trying;

International Educator
NASFA: National Association of International Educators
Reading a rather current issue... from laptop to tablet to phone... but as a historical note: current issue at 50pg, 2015 had 80pg, while 2011 had 112pg... so, getting thinner... much thinner; the eyes; we have no opinion... we stand for nothing; the three cover shot losers revealed; most of the world does not reside in the United States; more experience yields greater opportunity; most bio tags are hype... we are all authors; tracking for successful outcomes; if you're happy and you know it... you're in a group; exporting education... at $9,800 a pop, it adds up; the goal is employment... money... come to the land of rampant consumerism to learn about Capitalism... Come Home to US; yes, but can you speak English... the classes are in English... but, you might want to think about majoring in a foreign language; well, I'm only reading the headlines... but I get the feeling much of the story is contained within the headline... perhaps, that's why I find it difficult to probe much beyond the headlines; to wit... change happens; I'm not a laboratory oriented guy... give me the letters, anytime;

China Today
Let's correct that mistake... from back in 2014; in their forum... The People's Court; pretty... but you know it's all done with smoke and lights; do not cross this line until told to do so; words... wrong doers should do more good; embrace traditions by changing them; half of the sales in China are made by credit card; small bits... often too small... or too long; Quantum Communication is expected to become a thing by 2030... let's see how that goes; the "demographic dividend" must refer to cheap labor... see, nonsensical propaganda... call it PR... disguised as truth; I question whether I would enjoy the day to say activities of being a world leader... another photo shoot?... really?; he leads the workers... and is comfortable with workers... but is he a worker?... there is a certain lack of muscle tone... he looks soft; China has a dream... Xi Jinping is just the man to implement it; corruption is the opposite of The Rule of Law; only one person has failed to raise their hand... oh, wait... there's, also, those three to the side; corruption to the core... let's do something about that; an Anti-Corruption Museum... only in China... of course, to gain admission, "you got to slip the guy a little something extra"... or so says the others around me... yep, lazy chair edition continues; I'll come back to the Internet article later... I'm curious to hear the insiders view on The Great Firewall of China... but I, also, want to finish this entry, so later; China and Japan are not friends; the gears of industry; vacation days?... are you kidding me?; the Silk Road... a dirt path through mountain deserts;  the first recipe I've read in a while; shrewd businessman... is this someone you can trust?... I mean, isn't being trustworthy leaving something on the table?; you probably shouldn't listen to those who think they should be listened to; now, back to that Internet article;

{And I do believe this ends the arm chair edition. Next time, back in the library.}

Herb Quarterly
Feel young, again... just saying; anthropocene... I was just looking for this term; use it or lose it... the most basic truth in an aging population; and, I'm done;

{A snowstorm has downed numerous power lines, causing blackouts lasting over twelve hours, now. Thus, the library with heat, lights, internet, and power is a very popular place right now. I will not be reading Her (or is it, Hers), today.}

Hinduism
Affirming Sanatana Dharma and Recording the Modern History of a Billion-Strong Global Religion in Renaissance
Babies tend to like their mothers; Kapa'a... very fertile land if I remember correctly; Go Ganesh!; what is a 'Staunch Hindu'?; white beards... orange robes; the forgiveness treatment; at the core all religions are the same... because they all seek for the same explanation... they just differ in what is explained; it looks like a tourist trap; my only friend; can you spot the bullshitter's last words?... can I?; some rags are more difficult to maintain than others; the good, the bad, and the dead; homeopathy doesn't work... individual results will, of course, vary; it doesn't take much of a gift to get your name listed; bathe in the holy bathtub... rinse in the healing waters of the shower; GYM... Exercise Yoga Meditation;

History Today
Green gas masks... for the nuclear family; 1.5 million in 100 days... a costly way to end a war; took me a moment to realize the story had switched; more cartoons, please; bored... or just done for the day... all the same, let's give the glossary a go;

{It's the next day. And it's every bit as crowded.}

Hers
Your Fast Track to Fitness
Looks like she's holding a twenty pond weight, there... and she's wearing a wedding ring... apparently, she could transform her body in two weeks, as well... assuming she wanted to; at least, she's happy; there is such a thing as too many muscles; my exercise (well, arm exercise) is too focused; crush it; a pound of muscle burns 17 calories a day; gads, I hate doing planks; observation counts... even self observation... hey, so like, this; breast implant don't last but a decade or two; hands are one of the body parts I like best; I'd rather eat the lettuce shell tacos; we need a blender; bicycling it tempting... but no cars... or pedestrians; for the most, tattoos suck; surreal... it's not my kink; good closing memes;

Home Power
Solar - Wind - Hydro - Design - Build
Electric cars... because... Green!; I've entered a new world... a whole new advertising landscape; batteries are important... integral, even; an advertising collective... for now, at least;

Horoscope Guide
Capricorn... um, Saturn crosses Jupiter... Mars in retrograde... you know, at a guess; leading ideas... week by week; we are our own best advertiser; Your Anus is Retrograde... Ha!  Ha!; spending spree... nailed it!; I don't know what any of these signs mean; and done; fun how many topics were cross linked;

Horticulture
Flowers on the cover... I know... helpful... um, pray for help... some sort of evolution nearly a millennium in the making... and if that's not good enough, maybe this is the wrong game for you;  gherkins... would have never guessed; cucamelons... stop it; the slate and snow path look nice; flowers simply do not do it for me;

Hot Bike
FTP?... Full Total Package?... First Time Prime?... OK... I give up; don't sell the knife short; it ain't got no passenger seat, baby... I ride alone; I don't like stuff sacks... they must resist water well; married to the mob; it's a cool look... but I take it as a sign of disrespect... and I don't think that was his intent; not top billing... also, not your Father's Sturgis... the rally has obviously jumped the Buffalo Chip, if you know what I mean; yep, tats mean trouble; one is never enough;

Hot Rod
White Power!... um, sorry... that comes off the wrong way, doesn't it?; a deserted gas station... with any luck, a whole slew of them; a few words from a junkyard dog; tow truck driver... nothing to do with the mag... just been dreaming about being a gear-head with a tow truck; balance weights... it took me a long time to figure that out; why such a crappy hat?;24 - Mag
House & Home
The Magazine of Home & Style
Blue flower tiles... small... but making a BIG impression; subverting the straw man... courageous; cunaucks... the lot; wow!; I'm guessing, they like hosting parties... yep, confirmed; maximize or minimize... or, you know, find the middle ground; clutter usually means you have too much stuff; it's official... the poster phrase for what I rail against; one for the girls... or the guys;

HR Magazine
Shut your beak-hole; I hate you already; there's a company for that... you know, so less money goes to the cause... however unworthy; drug positivity... probably not what we want; think about tomorrow, today... so you don't have to... tomorrow; the meritocracy is a myth... that no one believes, anymore; fun offices... and if we ever see using the billiards table, you're fired; I really don't want a job... I can't see valuing the extra cash over the loss in free time; the important thing to remember is that the law is not about justice... remember that and you'll do alright;

Inc.
I know of her track record... I know of no reason to be impressed by her track record... other than money... and orange... I like orange; the roughness adds grip... the screws, pain... intolerable pain; because she's made them, too; it's not my magazine... money proves nothing; the real truth is I'm not going to put in the effort... I'm not a believer; sell community... it'll keep them coming back; hey, maybe I'm more focused on how to not spend money than getting others to; what does a bad bourbon taste like?; it's a thick magazine; they're consultants... selling to management what the line already knows; automating iterative improvement... so how do you improve your day?; but you could get it for free... yeah, I'm far more money conservation directed; making the world a worse place... one company at a time; I wonder how many are scalable... that don't rely on the founder's talents; that's a lot of advertising... indicating the average entrepreneur is a tradesman; there is no such thing as honor... maybe there is no such thing as success... be... or not... there is no try; I could see doing some kind of opinionated study... percentage of companies whose Mission Statement moves the world forward... something like that; so, a good mental resource... once I get my mind right; no money... no morals... no honor; lots of my own thoughts, there;

India Today
Putting a man into space is the new Taj Mahal; sue us in India, if you please; the new Nehru jacket; murder ain't that hard to get away with; senior citizens get better rates; trial by fire; hey, I've got a right to sell my vote; the spoils of corruption; I find it easier to read about China... maybe it's the magazine... maybe it's the culture; it's a group thing; buffet equipment advertised here; I've seen a lot of Joe Satriani, as of late... coincidence?;

In-Fisherman
The World's Foremost Authority On Freshwater Fishing
What's that?... Looks upside down to me... maybe one small nibble; because men take chances; food moves; applied optics; 1 in 7 fish... per year... I did not; guides showing off; what gear do I need; them be some big fish; I can see fishing... it's the fishing life for me; no!... ah, the end page article... but, no!;

Inked
Culture - Style - Art
Looking forward to the new year... a brighter crisper look... and a happy couple sharing the cover... she can't seem to keep her hands off her man; defining cool... or at least, trying; gauges are not sexy; are there only so many poses; in my world (in the real world), tattoos take off points; Skillet... I listen to a trio of their songs; who influences the influencers?; the money shot; brand new... it's as good as it will ever look; turning the average into mediocre; instagram... amazingly important;

International Gymnast
Six way... college coed... call it the NCAA Preview Edition; a winning smile; a very stylized dance... maybe, too stylized; it's all about the skills... in other words, the pitfalls of making an art competitive;  get a grip... all that stuff (braces, grips, tape) feel like cheating to me; there's a book for that; success breeds success;

International Living
Palm trees; investment coverage... so, let's go spend that; wine as an asset class... um, no; in done... totally unrelated... it's time to eat;

{Armchair Edition... yet again.}

Ground Handling International
Guessing rice going into an airplane... for some GSO; well, OK... it's a magazine about airplane cargo handling ground side... 23 years... and going strong; in the news; it would appear de-icing relies on solvents; but that is why we hired you; Gemba... 'the real place'... as in, where does your process add its value... synonymous with where the rubber hits the road; Garden of Eden... or airport concourse; the millennials are coming of age; I hope there's not a blizzard during my fight; like Road & Track for GSE... Ground Service Equipment; one day, robotic, the lot; quality people... because some are not; and then, gold started falling from the rear of the plane;

{Days later and the armchair edition continues.}

The New York Times Magazine
Hey!  I did a similar photo effect recently... I called it Test Pattern; is my bio any good; the contributors page isn't giving me anything I can use... for a future contributors page project; a genius... how would you know... maybe he knew what you did not?; an article about a tweet... it's basically what's wrong with newspapers... actually, what's really wrong with newspapers is they are mass appeal... while the audience has gone niche market; I don't have time to read that... never will; the article is a journey I don't want to take... I just want to know the destination... failing that, I'm just going to assume it's a journey to no where; I checked... not the same face... as from something else I am reading... much more carefully... right now, I'm flipping pages and doing time; let's play a game... I'm not very good at games; not even worth a dollar to me; that can be arranged;

VFW
Veterans of Foreign Wars
9-11... ten years later... on the ground in Afghanistan; mavericks don't need that... its part of what makes them mavericks; the deaths are in drubs and drabs; an irregular compound shape; I would have like this magazine more as a child... I read Soldier of Fortune, back then; why do they put faith in liars, cheats, and sell outs?... probably, because they have no choice; lots of death counts... lots; erectile pump ads... who subscribes to this magazine?; the slacks are compelling... but not that compelling;

Online Searcher
Information Discovery, Technology, Strategies
Do you need a Video Database System?... because I don't... of course, two years ago makes this technology ancient history; solid contents section... worth the read... you know, if I cared; paid... sorry, you lost me at paid; Shodan sounds interesting... Yahoo is imploding... or was... i guess, this is old news; 'Less is more.'... enough said; there are five laws of library science... more of a catchy name than anything else, though; easy to skip a page... I almost didn't notice; I wonder if local libraries tend to provide information search functions for local governments... are libraries sources of information... yeah, sounds stupid stated as such, so... do librarians put together reports for other governmental agencies as a general rule; what kind of data would be fun to assemble; Public Knowledge... government funded data collections;

{Thus ends this Armchair Edition.}

Interview
Frickin cyclops... oh, sorry... that's just a pinky ring... OK... so, maybe some coffee, before we do the interview; captivated by nothing; did Andy Warhol start this magazine?; I, on the other hand, love eating dinner for breakfast; nothing about him... well, now, that's noteworthy; still popular... is there anything else to say?; believe it or not, typically interviews suck... they're not deep enough; I don't know who these football players are... or even if they are football players; world without end; now, that mouth makes me smile; Warhol was a crap artist... most artists are... note the compliment... I'm actually calling him an artist;

Interweave Crochet
The ubiquity of unicorns; I like color; lots of patterns... I'm not surprised this went fast; VHS tape as raw material... I don't know why it needs to be rolled into a ball, though... your friendly neighborhood twine replacement;

Interweave Knits
At least, it's not a holiday sweater... from the North Country; thought it was incense; how to get your boyfriend interested in your hobby... also, what the centerfold should have been; mittens suck; thicker, but quicker;

Ireland of the Welcomes
'Winter is Coming'... yeah, that was easy; too many ripples to be a canal, I'd say; yeah, I want that house... er, castle; I would think walking would be 'the most common mode of transport'; cosplay?... we got it; touristy history; oatmeal and chocolate; that's a long phone number;

Islamic Horizons
The basis of money... or honor... if you are a fool... I'm no fool... but then, I'm also not a Muslim; food Insecurity... the poetry of propaganda; the amanah... I call it the basis of cooperative living; I always read more at the front; as long as they were arrested; pools of Splendor; 'Please, sir. May I have done more?'... um, no; in point of fact, I don't want them; I don't care for normal news... so, why this?... actually, I found the China Specialty Magazines to be more interesting... so perhaps, power captivates my attention; STOP!; lots of fun new words;

Jewelry Artist
Lapidary Journal
Wear the world around your neck... no?... how about a hammerhead shark?; is the seahorse into steampunk?; ah, for making bracelets!; is it 'Self Made', if someone else makes it?; Tiger Eye (or is it Cat's Eye) is my favorite semiprecious stone; my family used to make kilns... we called them, furnaces... but same thing;

Journal of Illinois History
Miners; published by the Abraham Lincoln Presidential Library and Museum; three articles... ten book reviews; perhaps militias should be based out of gun stores; the Hundredth Anniversary of the Fiftieth Anniversary Celebration... gads!; Robert... not Richard; the struggle for community;

Journal of the Illinois State Historical Society
Poindexter at his typewriter... looking very scholarly in his bow tie; once again, three articles... ten book reviews; the evolution of a states boundaries... and it's economic effect; an 'inmate' of a public shelter during the depression; a lack of ambition... stripped away by lack of opportunity; Hobohemians; razor blades as money; lots of directors; the type of magazine I am doing this project for... one feels smarter when one is done;

Just Cross Stitch
Christmas Ornaments
65+ projects... only a small sampling of which are pictured here; on the other hand, this magazine is almost exactly not why I am doing this project; one could get lost in the dots and dashes... it calls back to cellular automation; there's a math in there... not the surface, as shown... but deeper, where the mind will roam; there's an art in the patterns that I find more compelling than the finished product;

Keep Growing
Chicago Botanic Garden
Member Magazine and Program Guide
Flowing hills of snow; they have a railroad room; oh, yes... please... to play in the snow... with warmly bundled gear; some get paid... most do not; I'm already looking forward to summer; the publishing connection; orchid... my first thought was spider;

Kinfolk
Braids over brocade... I don't, really, know what brocade means... that's OK... it's not really a braid; a great slogan; so, no; cliche... originally, a pre-formed typeset (word or phrase) in lieu of individual letters; and he is known for that?... how?; I am reminded of Interview... speaking of which, I want images of the art... not the artist; why is this section glossy... I want to be in the glossy section; it's my magazine... and I'll feature articles about myself if I want to; there's a big hole there from growing up rich... my respect if nothing else; he writes invitations... no, seriously... that's his job; interesting crossword... I shall stop at one across... "back"; published in Denmark... an unexpected fact;

{War Game Edition. Sorry, stay cozy and warm and read between turns edition.}

Veranda
Easy Elegance... need one say anything more?; steak!... yeah, I should probably splurge on steak more; interesting in the moment... does not mean interesting over time; discerning style and taste for rent; the wood is very nice... I could become a wood snob; do it for the children; fog in a foreign country; I don't really respect interior designers... or at least, the profession... but then, their are plenty of professional game players in the world... and that is the height of stupidity... besides, on some level, I want to be a professional reader... of magazines; nobody read this books... maybe they are waiting to be read... like my pile; too crowded;

Russian Life
Waiting for Vodka... no, read that wrong... nice sunset... nice river... still, wouldn't some vodka be nice?; I like clouds like that... looks like rain; I doubt I will ever contribute to any kickstarter; a geography lesson; Ivan the Terrible killed his son; cultural terrorism; corruption is down... or enforcement is down; Russians do things differently... arguably with less respect for the law; oppositionists... probably not a good thing to be called; the fine art of lying; finding drunk people in the forest; if the fall doesn't kill you, the hand-grenades will; once the world ends and the zombies are gone, I like the idea of a cross country bicycle trip;

Alert Diver
The Magazine of Divers Alert Network
DAN: Your Dive Safety Association
Sharks!... and the promise of more sharks to come; only the coolest octopus ever; mailing labels... because we care; I would like to own it... being a guest does not look all that special; yes... somewhere... yes; and that's why college is more and more a meaningless (read, meritless) experience; odd injuries... a compressed gas embolism; a cloud of sperm... with nary a whale in sight; airvac; the spleen stores red blood cells... I always wondered about that; physical sports have physical risks; down drafts... er, I mean, currents... serious risks, my friends... serious risks; they will kill you... well, not them, but their alien buddies; fun with fishes; the photo contest was disappointing... very disappointing;

{End this arm chair edition... or at least, this page of notes.}

{Still on my fat lazy behind... but the pickings are getting slim.}

Illinois Bar Journal
Words... a graphic consisting of words... next, text will consist of images... call them emojis; a personal breathalyzer... for proof of sobriety; if you owned a magazine, why would you ever publish anything you disagreed with... I mean, their are tons of qualifier words out their; $48,000/year is too much for tuition... it represents a 'rent'... books just don't cost that much; if you litigate, you will lose the case... that is to say, any potentially future billable hours; common sense prevails... but I'm still annoyed... it shouldn't have gone this far... shouldn't; where process is hidden, corruption is more probable; and that's against the law; CLE... Continuing Legal Education... it sounds like a good way to learn about the law; software automated the document creation process... so why, exactly, is a lawyer required?; forensic discovery; the terms are not defined; I implore you to plead properly; forensic accounting... I always will wonder;

Shalom Tidings
A Bi-Monthly Catholic Magazine
But did she knit them herself?; ashes to ashes... but a little light, first; you are the answer... life is the question... no?... not good enough?... seek... and tell shall find; will he fall into the words?... or the water?; I love that address... Wisconsin, Edinburgh, Texas... not relevant for the app, of course; community is the answer... no... not community... going back thousands of years... thanks be to those who came before... still, I am not hitting it... thanks by being thankful... grateful by being great... yeah, that's about it; charity unto a child; is it important that Jesus was the first baby born during/after the census... and is it not easy to see all those poor folk in the stable throwing a party for 'the little prince'... such ironies.... and the nuances of the culture list to time; she's given up pleasure but nothing else... ah, the joys of youth... a comic called The Leather Nun; Gordy is Godly; can't have it both ways; the gift of joy... what crap;

{End}

Kolaj
A Magazine About Contemporary Collage
Dunce Boy Ponders Cat #79... nope, doesn't work for me; if not for libraries, our circulation would be zero; lots of crap... is still crap... only... lots of it; 'Experienced Viewers!'; is that what they do?;

Kraft
food & family
Family Greatly
It was the blueberries that pulled me to this issue... I mean, that's a pretty tasty looking salad; more pops... the original; gads, that is one meticulously dressed hotdog; I was not expecting lobster tails... only the best with the best; grilled cheese casserole; I haven't had a tatter-tot, in a while; is this how you feed kids right?; lobster, again... coincidence?;

Life & Style Weekly
Princess Fight!  Princess Fight!; exciting stuff; basically, I hate other people... so, it's no surprise I'm mildly amused by The Other People; seriously, who?; where do I know that face from?... is that Drago?; one big happy family... well, family... no?... none of that is right?; she looks white trashy?... why?... shy do I say that?; yes, it is possible to make yourself look worse... fair enough, I might be getting a tad jealous, now; Sleigh 'll Day!; ten for ten... nailed it!;

{Happy Holidays Edition. Man!  These stacks of magazines go on and on.}

Guideposts
He looks handsome... wait!... two wedding rings?... and a watch?  Who wears a watch?... ah, it's because he's sixty... no the magazine is sixty years old; a blue candle... why not a red lantern?; is there something special about that pattern?; look in not out... be an innie; four (and previously, five) pages for a medicine as; there's no meat... no kick... heart without hate makes me think I'm missing half the story... eh, I really just don't care; hey!  It's Alice!; Hummels were designed by a nun; maybe that's it... a certain lack of facts... and all the stories pointing in the same direction... feel good... that I no longer have the faith to believe;

The Upper Room
Where The World Meets To Pray
Two coins... a woman in a dark shawl... The Widow's Mite; two months of daily meditations... left unread; Upper Room Books; what's in a name?... why that name?; "cooking non-vegetarian dishes";

{The day is short. But for the moment, I am done reading.}

{Why go anywhere?  Perhaps, I shall never go anywhere ever again.}

Cell
An spliceosome... or so I am told; money will work; my eyes glaze just reading the table of contents; were billionaires are putting their money; the Earth as one giant cell; it would be possible to write it do a lay person could understand, but why bother; and words I don't understand; I think it's time to skip that middle portion... you know, the articles; the Cell SnapShot is information dense... and available online... requires cookies... but nice enough if one is interested;

{And that's all the magazines I have handy chair side, at the moment.}

{So, back to the grind of the main event.}

LINN'S Stamp News
World's Largest Weekly News and Marketplace
A general, a principality, a crossing, a dog, and the northern lights; not for mail, I would think; what are 'Back of the Book' stamps?; crappy lesson... I like The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition better; commemorate Cancels sound interesting; FDC... First-Day Covers... sound just as fun... if fun is the right word; ship Cancellations!... it just keeps on getting better and better; the Philatelic Crap Shoot; all of this is much more compelling than I would have thought; a full set of twelve catalogues could cost upwards of $600!;

Lion's Roar
Buddhist Wisdom for Our Time
Blue on blue... with a touch of blue... in a healing Pure Blue Land sort of way; I like the phrase Pure Land... I'm sure I don't know what it means; destabilizing emotions... such purity of thought... there it is; dirt on dirt... with a touch of dirt... in dirty as dirt sort of way; shave your head... become a monk; I want more than magnets; it's working... ideas that transcend this project; 24 x 60 =3D 1,440... I miss most of them; I like the filter... and she's blue; she seems very much like an ordinary person; let's be there... I mean, here; get your reading on; the Buddhist Educational Complex; if you have an adventure, but nobody reads about it, was it still an adventure?; middle of no nowhere?... gads, no... its all the way on the edge;

live happy
The Science of Happiness
I am sick of word graphs... forget what those things are technically called... also, more blue... words on white on blue; do you need to justify happiness?; what do meditation and naps have in common?; here... now... it's probably the opposite of reading and writing notes; a nice tattoo... signifying stupidity; resilient people are, in a word, resilient; more than anything, they sell books; advertise for us... The Sun is so much better; I believe they believe... the layout places content first;  the magazine is like a gift... that I don't want;

lonely planet
Explore every day
I wonder if the bridge is safer that way... safer from washouts... and falling rocks; better sand castles than you can build... and/or where old pirates go to retire; I can guarantee it ain't what it used to be; float trip; eight yards... that's how much material wraps around an average kilt; you'll never be a native; I do not want to ride on the back of an open flat-bed truck; because he knows how to fix them; glamping... nope;

Los Angeles
Where To Get The Good Stuff
Candied orange with dark chocolates, nuts, and what I hope is candied ginger; it catches my I... but they are less for the ad... and the watch is nothing; this magazine brought to you by watches; you don't look like me... I don't want to look like you; steak and peppers... hot peppers; can you live the dream, if you do not, also, make it; I'm passionate about disruptive destruction;

Lost Treasure
The Treasure Hunter's Guide To Adventure & Fortune
Largest Circulation of any Treasure Publication - The Treasure Hunter's Magazine of Choice
Five coins... perhaps 42c... Mercury Dines are tops; use test materials; short on content... it's struggling; 'Ampoules of Morphine!'; seven key sponsors... count them; it's been properly buried for a long time; looks like a bayonet; silver dentures; 95lb shell... as a kid, I would have left it where it lay;

Maclean's
Canada's National Magazine
The year ahead... from cartoon princesses to roosters; the Maple Leafs are blue; I need more info... his name is not enough; I don't think it is possible to indigenize modern art forms... though, why not?... it makes as much sense as modernizing indigenous art forms; what's to respect?... exactly, I couldn't find a reason either; I don't care about Indians... sorry, Native Canadians; Smoking Flower... what a phrase; Bye! Bye!; I wouldn't go back; there is no we... this is the Great Lie of Democracy... you can represent no one but yourself; Costco looses money on rotisserie chicken; no jacket is worth a thousand bucks... mine cost $85; seven to go... still, could not care; Blade Runner... maybe;

{Let's mix it up for a few weeks: catch as catch can.}

Cal State East Bay
A water bottle iceberg; yeah, they could stop sending me this magazine whenever they want; that looks very man-made; a donation envelope in every issue; he seems a bit paranoid; 'high-impact learning'... whatever that means... for ghostly shadows; I fail to see the advantage; a very expensive light bulb; a hundred bucks buys a slave... unlikely; I will happily make a commitment my grandchildren have to keep... of course, no grandchildren, yet... not even children;

Gleams
A Publication for the Friends and Colleagues of Glaucoma Research Foundation
A green-gold eye; marijuana is not a recommended glaucoma treatment... shame; this newsletter brought to you by somebody else's tax free charitable contribution;

RH
Um, the Restoration Hardware Catalog... so, not really a magazine... but; now, that's a store... complete with rooftop garden; he's a good match for the brand... so if he's not your guy, maybe this isn't your brand; more corporate brochure than anything else, so far; I am not compelled; I wonder how the groves would effect ping pong... just ordered a ping pong set; it's amazing how little character so many rooms have; I don't really like rustic... I like old; almost had me... now, if I had a pirate fetish; concrete will never be elegant; maybe, I'll mimic all the portrait poses; I wonder how much they sell;

Member Magazine
Art Institute Chicago
He's got big ears; I'm not into Shakespeare; the art shown is not compelling... but may be worth seeking out, nonetheless; and yet, it is not a valuable item to me; the state of art at contact; the picture, itself, has little content; it does make planning future visits easier; once one gets beyond the mindless valorization (and it is quite mindless, at this point) staring into The Void has its appeal; I've been noting the meeting hall, conference like, assemblages of people in politics as of late... and spending one's day in a lecture hall listening to other politicians sounds quite boring... well, at least, they are boring each other more than anyone else; an acquisition... I see what you got... what did you give?; I wonder if anyone will be impressed; I love a parade; 100 square miles; yikes!... Valentines Day is just around the corner... does it never end?;

Library Administrator's Digest
A small stack... starting with mentors... ending in a vision of the future; another name for teacher... or tutor; meaningful content is hard to come by; Choose Civility... solid... I think I am going to cut it out; why are we spotlighting a fast food chain?; library of Things... communism, the world is thine; I like libraries... they still have a lot of fat; noticeably, the salary consultant did not recommend any pay cuts; Zotero; I'm not saying you're wrong... I'm just saying I'm right; I'm not entirely sure your truth is my truth, anymore; drug are often stored behind acoustical ceiling tiles; old men have a fetish for flags... also, architects are idiots... or at least, their priorities do not align with yours; the goal?... to matter;

Computers in Libraries
A double feature... don't ask me why... the Wow of Raspberry Pi; a buzzword smorgasbord; getting from A to B... from problem to solution; Zotero is coming out strong; six degrees of seen it done it before; the need for books is real; I hate Political Correctness... also, Public Speak... or whatever you want to call adding popular buzzwords to your noun or verb of choice... emergent transportation networks... empowered employees... and so on; ignorant people are stupid... sorry... no... I was right... stupid is the word I was looking for; I never stop working; I do wonder how intertwined libraries and the governments who fund them are;

National Genealogical Society Quarterly
A journal for today's family historian
A four pack of issues, spanning a decade... from the better part of a decade ago; melungeons... but I like the term Brass Ankles better; a study in racism... pure and simple; I like book reviews; truly, to be a line in a book... an item in a list; the man... the myth... the legend... all we can be sure of is that he was rumored to wear a blue jacket; it could use better maps... it's a familiar refrain; I hate microfilm... you're lucky if you never had to deal with it; Ruppert is a lot like Huppert; a nice index for the year; when enough of the same thing has been preserved, it may no longer be worth preserving... even that which already has been; the books of the dead; you could prove a marriage by showing it recorded in a family bible; let's digitize it all... then, we can index it;

Air Chicago
Clapboards do seem a little outdated... but then, the simple solutions often work best; OK... for an airport shop, it looks good; would you trust this man?... I wouldn't; I decided to get into fashion... because I have none; getting tips on how to do what I don't want to do... because I need to know; or in other words, prior to going to a nightclub... don't; still, as you can see, I'm soaking in every word; I am sort of surprised Bio-Dynamic hasn't taken off as a good label;

free surf
Hawai'i's Surf Magazine
Horizontal diffraction, fading into the distance... I may have read this issue before... back when I was a local... a local haole, that is; Surfing's my sport... shredding's my temple; why are surfboards hand shaped?; well, I didn't read this issue back in the day... I finally found a date... modern... nothing has changed;

Kirkus Reviews
Best of the year... best of the best; too many books to read... even a review of them all; the last twenty odd pages were meticulously sliced out... kept as a reference by another... a librarian, no doubt; can you sell a novel without telling anything about it?; a long book about the obvious... or at least, that which I already agree; victory to them; I've already lost patience with it; a book about nothing for no one; brilliantly successful; I don't want to forget what I know... but rather, build on it; the poem does not speak to me; I bet I could write a decent book about killing someone... nonfiction, but of course... well, fiction would work, too, I suppose; they aren't real reviews, are they?... more like empty ad copy; it's as easy as making the choice; looking back, is there a single book reviewed herein I wish to read?
{The Wild Ride continues.}

{Still, catching as catch can.  The next few continue my raid of the librarian's private stash.}

The U*N*A*B*A*S*H*E*D Librarian
the "how I run my library good" letter
The halls of government... as seen on the cover of a pathetic little... um, pamphlet; library relief funds... contribute today; all the challenges were denied... Good to see the system works; there was a shooting; the editor is a bit weird, to say the least... his correspondence weirdly interesting... pay-dirt; he got Binge Watching added; he's got a Personal Scorecard; so, there; the proto-typical crotchety old man; but my website is better... so, there;

AudioFile
A summer child finally comes of age; the review does not reach the underlying material... well, that's what they say; they get books from a lot of sources... 25 years... 41,840 reviews; marketing... marketing... marketing; it is odd how books are sold with very little reference to content; there are so many; what would it take for me to care about any of these books?; it's an interesting sort of picture;

{Concurrent start of regular feature in another file.}

Booklist
Five features... I think they will go fast; it's kind of like looking at books in a bookstore... for the most, unremarkable... sour grapes, to be sure... also, true; these are your choices... so, a rigged contest; busy selling books... but do they make it any easier to extract information; not encouraging me to write another novel, that's for sure; there were females in history; if there are five star books and you trust the rating, why ever read a four star book?;

Air Force Magazine
The wings of the eagle are made from war planes; each and every munition is accounted for; a 1:5 officer ratio... 50% civilian technicians; insignia are devices... as in, Valor Device; you can't fight the power;

RARE
Book Review
A three pack... ranging from the skin trade... to a cat, long in the road; there's big money out there; so many mistakes; Freud's a fool; I do not value other's eye... an eye for detail... an eye for quality... an eye for charging extra; get your book binding glue here; and the award for extra-ordinary achievement in the field of book selling goes to; I like the bookseller bios;

Toastmaster
The Magazine For Communicators & Leaders
Step one, wear red... it's very captivating; where will you be when that missing issue finally arrives; sorry, don't care;

Hadassah
Womenz!; I have a newfound respect for art; being female changes everything; if you're hungry, you're hungry... I mean, you'd know it if you were hungry; you may also call me Sir... or Your Lordship;

The Institute For Priestly Formation
A Public Association of the Faithful in the Archdiocese of Omaha
Such a gift; donate... and get your name written here;

Viewpoint
Point Loma Nazarene University
The Bluebird of Happiness; clearly, Wonder Woman; I see liars... I do not know what they see... I doubt it is what they intend to put forth; swimming downstream sounds pleasant... easy;

{Enough of the odd low-subscription magazines. Let's return to the mainstream.}

{Resume alphabetical listing.}

Mad
I opted to go with The Shining Halloween Parody Issue; a seventies throwback... the readership is aging; last page, best laugh... there's nothing as funny as someone else's pain; time for the next issue... attack of the Eighty Foot Idiot; bonus fold in!; the magazine has not changed for the better.., or perhaps, it is I;

Magnolia Journal
inspiration for life and home
Rainy day in... Brooklyn?; the face of mediocrity; is the magazine making money?; militantly antagonistic to everything you stand for; tears... yours... meaning... my life; authentic marketing... a real sell out;

Sew News
The Trusted Sewing Source
Concrete camouflage skirt... call it zebra chic; I do not wish to owe a sewing machine... nor will I be sewing anything anytime soon;

Majesty
The Quality Royalty Magazine
Blue flowers on a field of yellow; I can't really see why anyone would care; I'm watching the BBC's Victoria... but figuring out which Victoria is the right Victoria is not worth the effort;

make it better
Powerful. Positive. Connections.
Through interior design, presumably; UNICEF trick or treat box, included; whores; sex trafficking... learn how; because you deserve less;

Make:
There's a colon at the end, there; cover Story... three dimensional printing... way to take risks, guys; ouch!; you could make money; kerf... good stuff... sorry, maybe not what you want;

Mantra Wellness
Everything will be better... better than better... the best; toxic tea; hemp, dude; be healthy... use Indian words... think in Sanskrit; Chia Pudding!; flipping over... two magazines in one; glitter makes it better;

marie claire
She doesn't look very black to me... eh, give me a break... if there are categories, there are edge cases; it's very nice hair... just not attractive; now, we're just being stupid; by being rich and getting richer, I wish to highlight how others have less than me; I like the color... are feathers back?; whoops!... missing a page;

massage bodywork
Female... Skeletal... not a scan... but an illustration; one needs a license to practice massage... that's how we know we don't live in a capitalist country; does your mind control your body?... please answer in essay form; remember, a massage therapist is not a physical therapist... know your domain; does this hurt?... how about now?; do you have props?... because, you're going to need props;

mathematics teaching in the middle school
Yellow word bubble... yay!; the problem is wrong... no wonder do many kids hate math; working in groups makes daydreaming harder; is that candy?... why?... also, I grew to hate my colleagues during the team building exercise... and vowed to kill them all; wrong!... again!; she has to kill three goblins and loot their bodies... I'm playing an Assassin; it's a myth... notice how Black Men are not on the list;

Mathematics teacher
Yeah, I don't feel like capitalizing that teacher part, either; sexy teachers steaming up the classroom, once again... yowza!; not as tight as it would at first seem; division... local variations... interesting; all in all, is rather move on;

Maxim
Don't Smile!... Don't!; also, he not all that... he just isn't; well, two jewels, at least; I have no idea what constitutes a foul in basketball... even after keeping in mind the rules and realities may be at odds with one another; you can't really define style if you sell out; let us assume the view is awesome... or at least, of the ocean... either way, they definitely overpaid; gads, a TV to kill the view... idiots... there's plenty of wall space; I think the thing is if you NEED that much money, you've already lost; sand-boarding... it looks cool; if Elon is so cool, why are you profiling Aston Martins?; I'll invest in Boeing, instead, thank you very much;

Maximum PC
It's the most wonderful time of the year; I'm really not a hardware guy... they're hawking a $3,500 set up... mine cost $200 and change; ha!... maybe I need an upgrade; changes in the law... good to know; $34 Billion!... I read that as million... no wonder IBM shares are tanking; OK... I don't care about the gear... but the news stories were a solid read... I'm behind in my news; a VPN... do I need one?; let's build a PC; over clocking is just something I have no need to do... but I like the implied Time Travel applications; it's hard to care about people;

Mayo Clinic Health Letter
Reliable Information for a Healthier Life
Hard to swallow... harder to care;

Medjugorje Magazine
Jesus H. Christ!... turns out, it's not always profane; repent!... Ye sinners!; and then, he died... oh, sure... laugh... your time is coming, soon enough;

Men's Journal
Isn't he dead?... I saw him die... I thought he was dead... I liked him better dead; oh, I bet I hate you more; all inclusive... forced gratuity excluded... also, some items not included; I like the look... but I want to be alone; I would like it if weed were legalized... I would get so high... and likely, never smoke the vile stuff again; of course, I don't respect alcohol... so I don't see how I could ever respect weed... still; it's not the iron price; hitting the lows... I respect nicotine (in all its forms) even less... note the magazine's name... at least, it's not claiming to be about health; I would have guessed Hawaii; oh, you would scare me... but the buzzword for today is respect... still searching; I do not recognize the name; yeah, I'm checking out the numbers... on the weights; I will aggressively not care... to a militant degree; gadzooks!;

Metal Hammer
I've heard of Pantera... is that the front man?... he's looks like has had one foot in the grave; nope... Disturbed front man; burn it down... I agree; dimebag is dead... such a tragic loss; do I have a cool enough name to be in a Heavy Metal Band?; breaking the law... so metal;

Midwest Living
Dad's got a powder blue Pathfinder... how can he possibly be happy; I hear you like to travel; I think spears are under-appreciated; the advertising juxtaposition/layout is done well... blends in; dad's still happy... I think he's on drugs; I just got done reading that book... not enough nose candy, if you ask me; girl!... she's a girl!... besides, my first love is beer; perty;

Military History
Washington watches on as his troops get slaughtered... well, that's what's happening; I owned a Willys Jeep... it was one of my worst purchases ever... along with a disassembled mini-bike; dead as dead can be;

Milk Street
Christopher Kimball's
The New Home Cooking
I like meat rolls... I should make one, sometime; oh, it's that guy... less respect;  may the Recipe-Less Revolution begin; I don't want to work that hard; and that's how you become an alcoholic;

Mind, Mood, & Memory
Maintaining Mental Fitness =46rom Middle Age and Beyond
And... we're done;

mindful
But I thought it was cruel to be kind?... that's why I'm into self-flagellation; who would have thought it?; stretching is easy... or as hard as you make it; second sleep; mindful money; why would I want to?... sorry, Kenneth;

mingle
creative ideas for unique gatherings
Macrame and blue glass; it does not look like it tastes good... form over substance; I did one, too; homemade soap; creativity for the non-creative; feels like an extension of a scrapbooking magazine; someone got hurt... sprained a wrist... broke a face... something; do you want to kill a tree... because that's how you kill a tree; so much suckage; more form... don't get me wrong a candy covered apple designed to look like a globe is cool... if inedible; the different gatherings are so similar, they bled together;

Model Airplane News
The new V900!... Finally!... I like the drone cage; get it through the hoop; start with a point; air-to-air missiles included; half-scale drones... halfway there;

Model Railroader
Foam mountains... plastic bridges... The Orange Rio Grande... yeah, I read it; HO POV; modeling goals?... um, no; decal printing; on coasters... a nice touch; welcome to my basement; at first, I thought it was real... it was the cows that gave it away; hmm... funny... I feel like stealing... hmm; the eternal question... to kitbash or scratchbuild?;

{I don't feel like going anywhere, today... which is just as well, as the end of the world is nigh.}

Midnight Call
The International Prophetic Voice of the Endtimes
A three pack... from Little Church on the Prairie... to The Lure of Big Money; he's young; I passed on the stack of News =46rom Israel; the End has always been near; I would like to pursue morality... as an Ideological Space... but I doubt I will... I doubt I have any keen insight; Jamming the Mind; couple with the aforementioned Morality Quest is the desire to rise as a False Christ... I mean, I would call myself that... but I might call every other God Monger something like that; news stories are followed by commentary... it's an effective editorial structure... fact followed by opinion; the original subscriber did a pretty good job of blocking out their name... but only pretty good... I could figure it out for money... but then, only for money; was he Christian?... or a Catholic?; the desert will bloom... also, greenhouse agricultural works; the voice of reason... tempered by the Word of God; start from a place of total evil and sin... and you can't go wrong... or at least, more wrong; more familiarity with the magazine makes for a faster read... I, really, am quite good at speed reading... if I do say so myself; Glory to God; amen;

Ia
Internal Auditor
A Publication of the AII
Is that Shiva?... who know?  Either way, he/she looks good in a grey pinstripe; different ads for a different skill base; fools... that's why smaller really is better... you have your hands on the wheel; I just do not care what directors have to say... I do not see them as Value Adders; The Distributed Ledger... a blockchain; a lot of these professional journals seem devoid of meaningful info... a list of generalized common sense tidbits does not an insight make... conserve... coordinate... create; ah, I thought it was Personalized Corruption... never mind, then; there be money in whistle blowing; 75,626; get a green check mark by your name... now!;

{And that's all the magazines I have laying about.}

modern cat
The lifestyle magazine for modern cats and their companions
Internet Famous... dreamy cat photos... and more; CatCon; the cat may have mojo... he does not; cats be fun; focus on the eyes; what is my ancestral purpose?; cat as lifestyle accessory; prowl... I did not get that; embedded microchip enabled cat doors... ingenious;

modern dog
The lifestyle magazine for modern dogs and their companions
My dentist's old dog... not really... but he looks like he would talk if you got him high; dog love... sicko;  it's amazing what life is like with a sponsor; unsurprisingly, the layout is similar to the cat version; you're not famous if you have to carry your own backpack; I will dedicate my life to tirelessly saving squirrels lives... and you will respect me for it; advertiser friendly... we know we couldn't publish this magazine without them;

Modern Salon
Four in white... sure, if you want, call them angels; choose your weapon; and thus, I rightly fear power equipment... my right hand knows... and it's saying, 'No! No! No!'; Ka-Pow!; hair cuts are big on Instagram; More Nope!; what is a Platform Artist?; a hairdresser without hair is so much what it comes down to;

Mother Earth Living
Natural Home, Healthy Life
I got a small brown bottle... I keep sublingual B-12 in it... after all, I am deficient in so many things; I find it hard to believe it couldn't (or wouldn't) be used for animal feed; Hardcore Holidays; all in all, a couple of good ideas;

Mother Earth News
Who cut the cheese?; if you're living in that house, you're not a homesteader; cheese spoils... quite easily... as such, I don't trust myself to make cheese... though, I like the idea; live on the land... lie on the land; cute moose... wonder how much lip he has;

Mother Jones
Taking a closer look... at an idiot; was it a Blue Wave?; wait a second!... folks have to work for benefits?... and things like money?... What is capitalism coming to?; I believe... I mean, I know; you devalue your rag by including 2PAC... of course, the first article I am reading (really reading) is on frats;

Motor Trend
RGB... from top right... going counter-clockwise, but of course; because you're fat; questions... that don't need any answers; another page, another car... when will it end; in this corner... don't care... in that corner... still, don't care; 42(0)... I'm glad he's not Number One; the 'handwritten' notes are a nice touch;

Mountain Bike Action
Green!... my favorite color... or the color I selectively honor the most... special Unicorn Edition... eh, maybe I read that wrong; Red Bull Sucks!... obviously, not a sponsor; we will kill you dead... and then, kill your corpse... and then... something... until, you wish you were dead... and not a dead corpse that has been killed again; more ways to die; pansy Pants; it's just a job... until it's not; big money in bikes... probably explains why I don't bike; not now... not ever;

Muscle & Fitness
'So, like, where do you want these fifty pounders?'... also, he comes with a serial number... guessing, it's his birth year... so, 1995?; protein cereal... sounds interesting... and needless; but is the protection cheating?; ropes... or chains... provide a linear increase in weight; vein popping fun; it's not what I would call beautiful; stretch marks?; eat real food;

Mystery Scene
Your Guide To The Best In Mystery, Crime, & Suspense
Have binoculars... will eat raisins; the very best that advertising can buy; never even heard of the series... eh, I'm not a mystery guy; I like the half nudies on the covers; The Girl Who ellipses; the cheesecake looks interesting;

The Nation
She's got a mole on her lip... also, considering the field of red, in guessing she's a commie; all pulp; tensions mount... comedy erupts; poor people get the short end of the stick... again; TPS... Temporary Protected Status... turns out, it was just that; your truth?... or mine?; yo! Yo!;

National Geographic
Sponsored this free climb, I presume; a national obsession?... or easy photos?; ketchup; it's a lifestyle... made romantic... by the press coverage... but it looks pretty boring to me... dangerous... but boring; nope; we are now rich enough to waste money... I mean, care about side effects; he shouldn't have been playing; kangaroo Fight!; give me some tail;

National Geographic History
The Devil made me choose this issue; how far they fell; don't hear much about it, these days; The Good... what could be Bad about that?; that map doesn't help very much; I forgot about him; is it a religious or secular text?... I didn't read enough to know... besides, in this context doesn't secular just mean anti-religious?... or religious in its own right?; you don't know Jack; next issue... we got you covered... also, don't see much of that, anymore;

National Geographic Traveller
I won't be there to catch you if you fall; yep, just what I was thinking... I'd need a camera; but would I feel safe?; what?... stay away?; been there... done that; there you go... cut in half... it may be the way to eat melons; fool!; big butts!... big butts!... whatcha gonna do when they smile at you?; corn Cob Divination; the tasteful bikini shot; the other poi; ce u ceste... hey, look at me... I can speak French; it's not information... it's trivia;

National Review
Thought those were Riot Police... those are the Protesters; I like The Yellow Zest better... another misreading; Grenade Crimes... Sweden... ha! Ha!; He sounds like a bad guy... it sounds like a bad system; churches... some of these pieces are more like poetry; their streets... are mean?... let's see; marbles will take out a police horse... good to know; fun jokes... followed by wildly inaccurate and misleading statistics; ingredient labeling may harbor hidden racism; hey! This magazine knows how to have a good time; I don't work for a variety of reasons... lack of meaningful compensation is one of them; I hate PC culture... hate it... it's a problem in search of a problem... and that's the problem;

National Wildlife
Sal E. Mander... what big black eyes you have; to endure the cold... first, become cold; short... the disease in question is being short; just lounging... doing a little backstroke; invasive pathogens; see?... not a hobby; unbelievable;

Natural History
A fire in a rainforest... could be a lava flow... but I doubt it; my money is on the short fat guy; a rain forest implies heat;

New Beauty
A slut in a black one piece... and not much more; they are trying hard to sell the beauty of age... or in age... or something; beauty fail; just because it can be done doesn't mean it should be done; the blind leading the blind... or perhaps, the literary clueless; lollipop; the shadow effect is pretty awesome; the model wears neither; 'when to get surgery?'... never... never... never; plastic surgery... before & After; what?... what?... no!  No!  No!... if you are listening to that, you will not be operating on me; lots and lots of plastic surgeons;

The New Criterion
Orange... 37 is her nickname... no one knows her real name... and she drives a plane... As to six?... talk to the Celaphopods; a winner... every time; 'aggressively undistinguished'; one person's sarcasm is another's truth; the real solution is to tax them; I do not wish to be remembered for studying someone else... my life's work is not you... it is me; nitpicking nothing;

The  New Republic
If there's a battle, there is no soul... makes me blue; if she's not guilty, why the cleavage; the California Ideology; two for two... the lead story... going strong; 40% retaliation rate; first four... winners; don't be a commie... I mean, Rusky; the US has 800 military bases... presumably located in foreign countries... of course, that probably blurs with Diplomatic Missions; I briefly wanted to read the book on Imperialism; long live synthetic meats; and yet, I am not really happy... I could go... shall we go together?; I don't care about the poor... I care about myself;

{Armchair Edition}

ideal-Living
Find Your Ideal ellipses Destination, Life, & Home
You never forget how to ride a bike... on the beach;  a pool that won't quit; we know you don't want to exercise; retirement living ads... resorts, condos, that sort of thing; it was called little Chicago; boats or horses... why not both?; move from there to here; an alcohol friendly community, I presume; tax rates are a big sell... so are big bathrooms and kitchens; the low crime appeal of a gate community;

{Just the one, for now.}

New Scientist
Lead story, Ten New Year's Resolutions... something tells me, not a lot of Science lies ahead; what's in a name; if it ain't free, I ain't interested... the real question being, should I split if/then statements into two lines; quantum computers are further along than I expected... but still at the toy level; half of life is spent daydreaming... so, am I above normal?... or below?; just kill copyright; five plus... five minus... maybe more nature... does a different book, topic, or project equal learning a new language?; a billion tons of exhaust from planes... per year; books.  Books.  Books; my anger is justified... your, not so much; keep it hot... that's the secret; oh, by the way, I was wrong about that lack of Science thing;

New York
Not Andy Warhol... for one thing, Warhol is dead... for another, the guy on the cover is an unstylish sickly yellow; yes!  Definitely!... who?  What?; and yet, I do not want to work for Amazon... for now, it works for me; redefine skill... good advice... let's take a moment to ponder that; neither; accept death... accept poverty... accept chastity... I mean, fight against it by all means... but accept it and you will be happy ellipsis or at least, content; being a successful artist means not working... on things other than your art; he did what any man would do... have his daughter photographed topless; I guess, she's a writer; but is he?... and yeah, your product is still meaningless; I was promised free... not a one; $325,000 and it's not even enticing... I'd rather have a house... for my gardener; stocks cost less; three pebbles for a cool million... we have lift-off; lots of full page ads for broadway productions; yowza!; fair enough, I can see a noose fitting in there;

upfront
The Newsmagazine For Teens
I don't respect her... I assume it's blind allegiance to a trio of ideas... she might as well say, 'I'm for The Good'... it doesn't mean following her lead would get anyone closer to The Good; he, also, has more tattoos... so clearly, the bigger idiot; should?... remember, your opinion doesn't matter; complete with teacher guide; humans will consume (and therefore destroy) as much as they can;

Nutrition Action Health Letter
Center For Science In The Public Interest
With this one (not so) little pill; really basic; that Rhino stuff comes in real cool packaging... I found some litter like that last year... and it really caught my I... looked like a Collector Card, almost; gives new meaning to the phrase Food Snob;

XBOX
The Official Magazine
1,000 games inside?... or is just that the total field of Indie Games?; let's see if I want to play a single game; I want a completely offline experience; 1000 is the total Indie stable; the ghost ship was the best... or at least, stands out at the end; no game I wish to play... no project I wish to pursue;

Old House Journal
Old pine cones?... well, they are pine cones... but are they old?; Diaper Dan!... Strikes Again!; OK. I like; a sauna for Hobbits; why use wood?... when you can use plastic?; a fun story of toddler mayhem; ghosts in the yard; the anti-trap; small glass was cheaper, then... large glass is cheaper, now;

Opera News
He's torn in two; he's really two; musicals over a operas would be my preference; he owns it; in broad stripes;

Otaku USA
Big eyes... small mouth... up skirt... oh, and the guy is a goblin... or slays them;  dive... fall into it; steamHunk... ah, this is great; the best ruler ever; gads, I'm in a good mood; psycho Girl... I like; I actually recognize some of these characters; flip it over and read the insert... backwards; life at the bus stop; I don't care about ducks;

Out
Pink Chiffon... Non Binary Issue... so, male, female, and I'm sick of talking to you, already; note the leading add for a medical dispensary... you're doing something wrong... not immoral... wrong; who looks the smartest?... for me, it is the brooding one; that's why I'm a Private Person; the Tenderloin (of San Francisco) is a hole; it works how?... it does what?; she's not as cool as me; I want publication dates... otherwise, I fear the book list is front loaded with this year's titles... in other words, its advertising; we live and die alone... some more than others; confusing macho with male... or the converse; I associate leather with luxury... and lace... but we are talking luxury, at the moment;

Outdoor Life
A seven point buck... what more do you want?; made to kill; six points... different species... way bigger; not compelling; hog Wild!; more Ammo!; kill ducks, not dummies... I mean, small children; cool arrowheads; that does not look safe; chronograph... almost nobody needs one;  there's always an opportunity cost; booyah!; meat!... carry it... if you want to eat it; maybe, a fishing trip; the last word in nicknames;

Outside
Helicopter Intrigue!... be afraid... be very afraid; ten dead; spend the night in a nest; F-ing Indigenons; a direct result of competition... an adversarial relation; get my gear on... it's the wrong venue to complain; chase danger and excitement... and sometimes, it finds you; she lived... he did not... while the other guy went to jail; it doesn't take much to hurt yourself... and sometimes, a little more would have helped;

Outdoor Photographer
Scenic - Wildlife - Travel - Sports
Py a wig on it Mr Eagle; all the cool kids are going mirrorless; I will bite you; the pictures are not as compelling as I would have thought;

Oxygen
Train Smart. Eat Right. Be Strong.
Core moves... killer purple... train like an Olympian; swinging an ax or sledgehammer sounds like a fun way to exercise; from top to bottom... lay down... get up... add weights; just hold it; the same... but more so;

{Winter broke yesterday.  And spring is in the air. But as adventure is planned for the morrow, I can't be bothered to go anywhere. And read from my private stack of hard to find magazines.}

OT Practice
The American Occupational Therapy Association
A red hat... the ladder to success; a signature means nothing; I'm not that diehard... about anything; if you can work for the government... you probably shouldn't; functional Cognition; what does travel mean to you?; no it didn't; the government has its nose in everything; authentic Participation; how do we measure success?... it should always be inward facing; in confused... the whole purpose of regulation is to stifle creativity... that's why we have Best Practices... not, my way; applicant must have a sense of morality and conform to Code of Ethics;

Experience Life
Being Healthy Is a Revolutionary Act
A red scarf, twirling... on a field of white... back five years ago, when such things were trendy; feel the breeze... listen to the wind; pretty boy; just another extra ordinary; I'd rather just swing a golf club; cabbage meatballs sound good; humans... simplified; if you were to read one magazine, you could do worse... me, I'll never seek out a copy, again; in the meantime, take serious this obvious insight;

{The next day with adventure behind me, storm clods brew and I dig ever deeper in my personal backlog.}

PSA Journal
The ever popular Grizzly Bear Dash; let's see if I remember or duplicate when I get to this publication in the main sequence; content is king... more than mere craft; get that camera lower... three ways... for three different reasons; the photograph of the photographers is the most interesting photograph; I would have expected more out of the supporting photographs; maybe I should let myself go and become fat... fat-Fat!... the large kind; the bear is great; long exposure... looks surreal; I like the effect;

Contracting Business
First, it sounds like a disease... second, there all eleven of them... the men outnumbering the woman ten to one; plenum; it's a very low boat to building ratio; are you seeking 'superior solutions'?; in is not On... off is not On... on is On... but In is not Out; a big ad for a small book; unless you're selling to a technician; I'm trying to communicate the lie I believe... believe my lie... now, give me money; PEP... Python Entichment Proposal?... I think they mean something else; Marketing & Management do not share my concerns... they speak a language I do not respect; it's just a process of question and answer;

yes
Journalism For People Building A Better World
Two makes one... now, that's solidarity; I'm doing my part by being the brains... are you doing your part, Mr Good For Only Brawn?; nailed it; I do not wish to be embalmed; never forgive; I like the numbers page; $75,000 is the magic number; posting bail reduces the chance of going to trial; not in my backyard; don't protest... party;

Percussive Notes
The journal of the Percussive Arts Society
A xylophone?... wood slats, if nothing else; electronic conga drums; The Pulse; Rule 36... to every specialty, there is a magazine;

{And that's it for my private supply. So, I'll have to go somewhere before long, to get my fix.}

Paleo
modern day primal living
An apricot wreath?... seems like it must be a more obscure fruit than that; paleo is my life; that's a lot of contributors; learn to hunt... sounds like a good gimmick; I just have an unreasonable (an unrealizable) goal that sounds good on paper; do we not all know this?; I don't feel better giving my money to a person rather than a corporation... and I tend to reinterpret family owned as not owned by me; no phone... but let's not be unreasonable about this; money from nothing; the cop out; they were crab apples; foot raises;

{One out. One in. I'm guessing that not a lot of libraries carry this one.}

Decision
The Evangelical Voice For Today
A Publication Of The Billy Graham Evangelical Association
Two choices... both are sins... but which is more distasteful?; like father... like son; trans?... why stop there?... I say, take it further!... go non!... go anti!; what makes you think I want them?; I could care less... well, maybe I could care less... but it would be a stretch; wrath?... P-shaw; I like the reasoning... well played, sir... well played; I would narrow it down to one; well, just as long as we agree, you sinned first... last... and more often... then, I'm willing to take the high road and agree; it's a petty concern... it's pennies... not pounds; one wonders what is gained; hallelujah!;

{And now it's time to hit the road and return to my alphabetical listing, already in process.}

Parabola
The Search for Meaning
The long red ribbon... also, a butterfly; all new... all mine; the art of the obvious; I do not respond well to calls to authority; the endless time in between thoughts, when the mind stand still; unknown is likely more accurate than anonymous; be sacred; some speak to me... others do not; the answer is no... still, if you'd get the door ellipsis; life in a Posthumous World; 44.1!; the back issue page is inspiring; I like the tile pattern; Gurdjieff!; 12 Rules;

Parents
Wow!... talk about a freaky kid... happy she's no longer scared, I guess... though, I wonder what it's like being a ghost; argh, Matie!; things are just easier when you have a husband; fun jacket; the explanation is fairly simple... and centers around the swimming habits of a retired circus elephant; there's nothing like a strong man around the house to get things done; it's not us... it's you; I need more sausage in my life... man meat, baby; a curios mix of health... and our name brand sponsors; turtles rock!; twice that other crap we sell; the importance of being photogenic... ya freak; the ins and outs of what used to be the other half; not funny... but definitely soothing;

{I'm going at a much slower rate these days. I'm only reading one magazine, today.}

PC Gamer
Goddess of fire... or some such mythological artifact; I'm not excited; this 100 Thing doesn't appeal to me... in theory?... sure... but in reality, it's agreeing to play 75+ crappy games; not my genre... skipping over... quickly; oh, did I not mention?... I was lucky to find a recent issue I hadn't already read... really read; our feature presentation.... glasses off... it's reading time; skimming pretty quickly... I'd like to find a new game to love... but probably won't; the Game of Thrones mod for Crusader Kings II; and now, I'm flipping quickly, again; nope... no card games; of course, I was already planning on firing up CIV IV, this evening... now, it's a done deal... going to have to check out Crusader King II mods, sometime soon, though; also, playing an old game means old gear works... new graphics card?... p-shaw;

Petersen's 4 Wheel & Off-Road
I expected the shorts to be camouflaged... but then, the truck is a nice bright mustard yellow; it's not the destination... it's the journey; I suppose if I were way richer... say, 10x richer; my eyes almost hurt looking at it; I think I'd rather have a pit... but then, a pit is something else entirely; location!  Location!  Location!; you're gonna need it; I do not want that seat... I'd rather walk; it looks like an active community... hey, every picture tells a story; my fingers don't like the look of that... they say, 'Keep Away!'; yeah, I'm laughing at you... I don't respect tattoos; cargo Tech;

Piecework
Preserving the Legacy of Needlework
Red Fox!; already, better than expected; his name isn't the only thing funny about him; such a project... shameful; hey!  He's pretty cute!; the Modern Homesteader... full of adventure; say that again... I dare you... I double-dog dare you, comrade;

The Pioneer Woman Magazine
I already read the one with pumpkins on the cover... so going back a year... bluebells and butterflies; I don't think much of her... she bought it... and so did her fans; Tupperware is not all that; face it advertisers, I'm not what you are looking for... ditto, from my side; a study in hats; they don't match; ice cream tacos... also, taking the easy way... so maybe, in in a foul mood... maybe... I certainly have a chip on my shoulder, right about now; since I'm fairly certain this is a repeat (title, not issue), I wonder how my mood compares with the previous; what do I want for supper?; the chocolate nests have potential;

Poetry
Poetry... on a field of green; its forgiveness of delivery based upon content... it's not the words, but what lies beneath... I always want to change lie to lay... am I poetry, yet?; thou art; if I spit it out as another, in the voice of another, would I be happy?... would it be art?; touching every poem at least once... I'll have flip around to the start when I'm done to make sure I touched them all; fin... the magazine completed;

Poets & Writers
What's blue and white and red all over?... The cover of this issue, silly; low residency; and the story writes itself from there; well, I can see the sting; like a glove... a velvet glove; writing for the non-monetary market; why For bird nest there?; good solid guidance... nothing... to a fortune; nothing... again; entry fee... decline; the extent of the magazine show how bleak the prospects really are; I doubt I will have patience to read your contest rules; no compelling offers... I'm yawning like mad, now;

Practical Photography
The UK's Best-Selling Photo Magazine
Birds over non-troubled waters; with CD... British mags are the best; the White Rabbit!; ah, we photoshopped out an apple; tree flow?... how about, ice flow?; I'm suddenly less inclined to buy a camera; so says the, crap master; yay!  Ruins!; I care little about the Photoshop techniques... the gear guide, even less;

{It's been long enough, I'm slightly unsure where I am in the lineup.}

Premier Guitar
Blue... soft metallic... six string beauty... not what I would dream of holding... or should that be, playing?; gads, tats are stupid... some more stupid than others; I'm shopping for my dream guitar; preach it... I'm going to read the opening salvo... a dedication to hard work, I presume; I'm rooting for the aliens... maybe, I should be rooting for myself; High Off... Low On; I'm usually F'ing right... sorry, daydreaming, here; Strato Super; nice... impulsive; chasing the rainbow; finger-Style!; chasing the dream... not money; Keep Yourself Alive... like a knitting pattern... only, it's music; Stomp Boxes!... the things daydreams are made of; too cute for words; closing words of wisdom; get out of your head; it's been a while done I read a magazine... but this one was a trip... roundtrip complete;

Prevention
One of the reasons I like oranges as a child was that the name and the color where the same... the other was because they were sweet; how sexy can you not be?; a library receipt... I am a nosy one; the corn looks good; I need (not just want) a wider circle of friends... a more complex social life; thin on the ads... I was surprised to see it; fat Cat!; rosewood is in short supply; that's a lot of executive credits for such a small magazine;

The Progressive
Racial Profiling!... How could they?... the duplicitous bastards!; yeah, you really should have printed it again; can't take the sky from me... it's a ballad; it's just not good; the Rule of Law is a joke... and likely always has been... sine the first tyrant codified his worthless will; the main economy of scale is in the reduction of wages; anti binary?... don't worry... indifference awaits; the Patriarchy is dead!... long live the Patriarchy!; 'Don't label me!'... fine... have it your way... unlabeled one; less fires... more medical emergencies; ambulances are new... and something I never wish to use; kill or be killed... it's an age old story;

{Roller Derby!  I mean, this might be a repeat. It feels like a repeat. But ellipses Roller Derby!}

PSA Journal
Roller Derby!; The Green Hopper!; OK... yeah... I've seen that bear before; and that's why I never learned to box; find an eye and a nose... center at edge... copy... flip... and Viola!... a Face!; sometimes it helps if you cheat; no, they are not; yeah, those flips have potential; but will I remember?;

Psychology Today
Why so blue?... ways to feel better; better than drugs; self evaluations are positively correlated with female fertility; psychopathy has become a meaningless term... indicative of its definition... and nothing else; enemies are psychopaths... friends are not; backyard putting range; I derive no data from that... the presentation is the information... nothing more; it's not you... well, OK... it is you... but it's not me; I really didn't find that useful... at all; Benjamin Franklin was astoundingly rich... so, that's why he on the $100 Bill;

PW
Publishers Weekly
three rooms... 25sq'... red and white... no blue; if you understand the title, there is no reason to reD the book; the agenda is sales; 10,000,000+ books sold a week... in the USA... presumably; Michelle Obama... Crown... says it all; driving... deciding... potato... potatoe; I can't see paying top dollar... sitting in a library, I am surrounded by books no one will ever read; think!... so I don't have to!;

Quiltfolk
The circle of death... how many sugar frosted donuts do you see?... how many are complete and well formed?; by the folk... for the folk; soothing... this is my life; content... the content is contentment; hubby always gets an honorable mention; the repeating hexagon tile pattern is very soothing to me... nostalgic... it brings to mind War Games of old... Melee, especially; it ends... where it all begins;

Quilting Arts Magazine
Purple Dragon... er, cat; the long arm... of the sewing machine; starting with the centerfolds; photo mask; I wonder if there is a Pro Gun Violence Lobby... or if such a thing would even be legal; cheesecloth looks like a wonderful medium to work with; easy... barefoot gardening;  it's another's passion... how they bring meaning to their life;

QST
Devoted Entirely To Amateur Radio
A lightbulb... the universal symbol for a good idea... no matter how you parse it; I don't want any of this gear... not in any practical sense; win or lose... nothing ever stays the same; maybe, because talking for talk sake is not much of a draw for me; I imagine they are under pressure from the Robotic and Drone communities; well, sort of... it's a work in project; remote... give meaning to your vacation; hitting the next generation... hard;

rachel ray every day
Who's the boss?... the second time this question has been answered; apparently recipes are important; I am outraged... or at least, completely disinterested; it's sort of pricey; step One... blacken... doesn't matter what Step Two is; I like those potatoes... they look tasty; frozen whipped heavy cream; chicken breast... all sorts of ways; find your tribe; first, I'd need a real counter; you'll, of course, get less;

Railway Age
Serving The Railway Industry Since 1856
I would imagine a conductor, mechanic, or lineman would have been a better choice... but then, they are not the target demographic; 25% Dead Weight!; sorry, 8% Dead Weight... of course, it matters what one includes... me, I'd exclude the coal... 34% of the total hauled... of course, it's loads, not loads per mile... so your mileage may vary; the big buys... front and center; I wanted to dismiss him... perhaps at my own peril; well, so there you are... I lost my drive... and could not care whether I was on the team anymore; A Caterpillar Company; that's a long interview... why not?... extract as much as possible... I enjoyed what I read; and the winner is ellipses; think of the applications... I'm talking sabotage, my friends... what?... isn't that what you were thinking?; and that's what's important;

RatRod
While deciding which Red-Line to look at... you might be missing the hand grenade in the corner; Mad Max comes to mind; daydreaming of Sturgis... and violin solos; looks like a friendly armadillo; those clothes started the day clean... let's assume they dressed special for the photo shoot; spread 'me if you got 'em; chop it!... chop it good!; she's anything but; gripping the pages... just a bit tighter; beauty that is not; an All American; chopped and stretched... classic... OK... maybe, this one isn't chopped; smells like Rhinelander; swing... and a miss;

Red
J-Lo... in a fuzzy sweater; nothing is forever; I used to be a great fan... so smooth... so creamy... we are talking about chocolate, here; must be the Valentines Issue; I would like to advocate for advocacy... we need more of... the in your face kind... the kind that makes you want to advocate for advocacy; I revisited the story about Budget Zero... a lie, of course... but rather close to the truth; yes, you can; should I have an attitude about my attitude?; ah, there's the marketing tie-in; did I mention that I caught (and released) a fish in my dreams last week?... thus, I find Pisces to be interesting, as of late; and then, we were done;

Reminisce
Stories That Shape Our Lives
Halloween... it's nice that the character's name is written on her costume... I guessed right!; do you like the past?; dual crane technology; fifty years ago... today; JR Ewing had a good run; yowza!... what a centerfold!; not every link in the chain matters; because ketchup isn't sweet enough; nice juxtaposition; truce... tsar... that's enough; looks like a wonderful getaway;

Road & Track
I thought Porsches were supposed to be red; maybe a flea market is the way to go; I will end you; I'm not going to go; it's new... and it's fast; the cactus are as interesting as the cars; there's money wherever people share a passion; also, computers are everywhere;

Rock & Gem
The Earth's Treasures - Minerals & Jewelry
That aquamarine... blue glow; it came from deep in the ground; the pits are often home to dangerous monsters; fine art; volcano sounds... how esoteric; I never did proceed with my Black Obsidian story idea; a Dragon's Egg... find them by spraying UV Light; what can I video?... that I would watch?;

Romantic homes
Pink Roses!; Soup.  Salad.  Main... was I right?; that mirror works; gads!... Pink Shoes!; nice patina on that piano; I'm going to guess they are meant for walking... as apposed to riding;

{Free Pile Diversion}

Health
Real Wellness
Who?... I would have guessed wrong... she's not prepared for anything; begging the question... what is short wear?; it's gone mainstream; the Fool!... yep, I'm harsh... harsh on myself, as well; because carrying around a jar of peanut butter is so... impractical; a lot of medicine ads... folks who are drawn to this magazine have a reason; gratitude; she's part frog; cats are great... Tony knew; turning ugly... just saying; I got the polyphenols covered; change happens by being as good as or better... be so good they can't ignore you... I forget who said that... whoever, words to live by;

{End}

Royalty Monthly
Your mirror on the world's Royals
Meg & Ann are both pregnant... oh, they are the same person... and I know that doesn't narrow the issue down, like, at all... So, Count Henri of Paris is mentioned... and now, you've got it cold; gads, I hate royals; they're a bunch of clown, you know; it's not about national pride; now's your chance; her job is to be seen... his (pages back) was not to hit people; don't tease the children... it's not nice... and they may bite; he's been failing for a long time; worthless... yes, I have contempt; to be fair... I have little love for most rich people... or poor people... so, different folks earn my contempt for different reasons... I probably would hate myself most of all... if I could ever be that honest with myself; I wonder if that is an affected pose... maybe, it's instinctive; I bet the institution of serfdom will not be one of them; she's probably a spy;

{I wonder how many of my comments have been auto-corrected into something else, entirely.}

Runner's World
Shoes!  Shoes!  Shoes!... well, maybe just the three... shoelace tying secrets on the overleaf; the morning start... I've never been there; a towel would work... right?; I agree, a custom shirt is better; sure, exercise kills anger for me... or at least, harnesses it; hehe... he's almost naked; the custom mods; an informative punch list;

russian life
Curious lower case... you know she's a girl, because she is wearing pink; granted... just as long as we all agree, the converse is true; solid start... I could see reading that; I did not pay to chitchat; it's funny... because it's true... or so far from true, it's ludicrous; phrases for every occasion; mushroom infused bath water; reindeer games; you get what you look for; spice cake... hey, every magazine needs a recipe page;

Sail
It's the solo life for me... well, maybe one other... want to sail around the world, honey; unlimited magnification would be nice; I wonder about the black breaches; I need an outdoor hobby; looks like a volcano; and yet, he smokes... idiot; solo... as a space story... OK; the turtle looks friendly; apparently, they're only expensive if you don't use them; 47... very unlucky; it's not as safe as you think;

The Saturday Evening Post
Celebrating America, Past, Present, and Future
So pristine, it looks like an oil painting... at the bottom of the canyon; is he a hero... or just good looking; and he was a hero because he killed people... on the silver screen; because we don't want your repeat business; art; advice for advice's sake; money talks; the answer is corruption... also, that's your cost... not ours; he should have simply refused; limericks are a winner;

Saveur
A bevy of rolls... and coffee for two; that's a fun map; but does it taste better?; silver leaf; cookies look good... when they look like they taste good; a second cooking in fatty skin sounds better... even if those legs look good; too much work; sweet mustard; a bit of tradition; it looks like a vine; pastry's secret ingredient; no; even those cookies don't look good;

Science
"Reciprocal Vocalizations"... teaching mice to sing... Opera; call for publications; go Away!... if we wanted you here, we'd build a road... inspiring the proposition that most roads are built to fulfill the desires of those at one end... and not the other; playing nice... means taking turns; will work for weed; a whole lot of I don't care; more technical than I would have expected... reminds me (a little) of Scientific American from yesteryear; understand, I don't care how you feel;

Science & Children
A trio working on robots... how much does the youngest know?... after all, happiness is bliss... wait... no... but you get what I mean; the trick is to help them solve their problem... scratch their itch; owl pellets... easy to come by; Torture 101; I don't want to be a teacher and I've outgrown this... the End;

{I've collected quite the stack of magazines. I think it's time to go through some.}

Security Management
A Publication Of ASIS International
Four recent issues... from chocolate orioles... to the future is security in the palm of your hand; security Guards... not computers as I had imagined; probably not the best way; it ain't getting through; programmable locks... cool!; think of it as a tower that guards your castle's front gate; it finds bugs... you know, listening devices... a zapper would be nice, as well; metallic Theft!... the damage is done; stealing their good name; have rally point; snow plows work better; I don't have that issue; on to juggling different ideas; zombies keep coming to mind; cyber Hygiene; same stupid advice; I thought Bluetooth was inherently insecure; useless graphs; open Platform; let's decorate our bedroom like a crime scene; everybody gets a ribbon; the legal review is high quality... I like this magazine; next issue (the third), very-very angry; talk about a straw man; no tailgating... so, that's what that means... two thru the turnstile on one ticket... or similar; keeping your chicken coop clean... herd security; the Ozarks are singled out... Hey, I lived there!; encrypted email; the Black Pill... Incel... do people self identify as this?... with pride?; paging quickly, now; have a plan... work the plan... make sure plan doesn't suck; starting the final issue; closed circuit; response is more likely than prevention; 19 obvious steps... well, some of them are obvious;  don't connect your IoT to the Internet; I do not feel their pain; who is watching the watchers?; complete with cell phone; is it for action now or then?... prevention or cure?; video hyperlinks... I don't really know what I mean; that's not cool; I do have a desire (however vague and weak) to explore the Internet of Things;

Living Bird
Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology
Some bird with a duo of chicks on its back from 2008; sporting Optics; before smart phones... there were individual devices; I don't think a bird has been the high-point of any trip... though, Florida sure does have some nice birds; get the shot... capture the memory; they do look weird; birds, to the air... I just wanted to say that... the sign-off the magazine is missing;

CCT
Columbia College Today
A barricaded student union... I'm guessing; I do not recognize that campus; because not all are equal; I do not respect academia as much as I once did... perhaps, because not all are equal; who owns this school?; yes, I lived a life, too; and the book is on equality... ironic... equal under the law? Yes; equal under money? No... of course, the government and the market are one... so, there you are; what's up?... it's like a Christmas Letter... staying in touch;

West Ways
Orange County
The Magazine For Auto Club Members
There once was a pier... that is no more; all sorts of promos; probably, never; silly; such meaningless advice; before and after; I too have crafted false memories... mine might be a tad more... um, interesting, however; that's a long ship; so, you like to travel?; in the days of yore... ladders but no tripods;

The Christian Century
Thinking Critically, Living Faithfully
Total abstraction... I'm looking forward to meeting Jesus at a party; he starts off right... let's hope things stay that way; I don't hate him... I simply don't respect him; the USA exports more missionaries than anywhere else; to give meaning to my inner state is the ultimate motivating factor for the Magazine Project... I have always known this... everything else are excuses... icing on the cake; the System is broken... long live The System; to explain the motivations of Sin without committing a Thought Crime is most difficult; no doubt, my Moral Outrage is justified... well, if I had any Moral Outrage it would be justified; I think less when I am consuming the words... thought in beats thought out;

T
The New York Times Style Magazine
It's hard to make her out... her shape keeps shifting; my thoughts are elsewhere; I don't see the competency; a monkey is one of the first really interesting things... OK... I liked the fractal effect, as well; I thought it was a cabinet at first... the connection is Salvador Dali; it was warm... but cool... the tropics are wonderful; like an idiot... I mean, if some folks are 'boss', some are idiots... it's a Ying-Yang thing; the daydreams come less and less... maybe, I turn the pages too quickly... maybe, I've seen it all before... likely, I simply used to meditate on the stronger images longer; far from revolting... its captivating... intriguing... of course, I plan on cooking it and not eating it raw; for followers... not leaders; very robotic; part of my art is the rejection of idiotic art... an actual walk on the beach would be better... I mean, it's striving for nothing... seriously, let me take a deep breath... Art!;

{Still working on the stack.}

At The Lake
Geneva Lake Area Magazine
Flowers in bloom... a sparse display; hail!... it took me awhile; I want too much food... that, also, tastes insanely great; it's big enough for all her crap; the point of craft is in the doing; get rid of it; it's hard to be cool; we are no longer together; I can see taking studio shots... but flowers will not be my subject; my phone is my primary camera device... actually, I have no other camera... but when I did, I shot ten times more photos with my phone... quicker... easier; happy to serve; nice... baroque... not an ounce of functionality in sight; if you can see it on your phone, why do you need it in real life?; why do it for free?;

Discern
A Magazine of Life, Hope, & Truth
Why God hates you... ya homeless junkie; I think they've got it all wrong when it comes to that tree; once gone... always gone; it's a silly story... martyrs are killed for the most foolish of reasons... and often, they could simply recant to stay alive... so, it's death on account of a Syntax Error; yeah, I never understood why Jesus was so hard to identify... did the talk openly in front of large crowds?; the Minister Knows Best!; god's creatures great and small; answers to all... as it should be;

Electric Consumer
LaGrange County REMC
Your Indian Cooperative Companion
Let's go antiquing... showing how far from square one this circular has gone; farmers get electrocuted surprisingly often; weekend food... grim; maybe advertising is the driving force... the reason de existence, as they say... first, for us... now, for them; I am jealous of the money... little else... OK... a Jonny Lightning Pit Crew Jacket would be cool; the fireplaces explode... sometimes... only sometimes; I would have never guessed their age;

{I can't be bothered to read any magazines these days when I am out and about (usually at the library).  So, here I sit with a table side stack of lesser known titles. Truthfully, it's been a while (call it a week, I would guess), since I've read a title in my main alphabetical listing.}

Verdict
A News Publication =46rom Judicial Watch
She looks guilty... why not?... burn the witch!; it's hard to focus... I don't find it juicy or interesting... I assume propaganda... now, propaganda can be true... but then, by definition some part of it is not... say, the intent to be honest; facts be facts; I assume it's easier to cross from Canada than Mexico... but maybe, it's easier to get into Mexico in the first place; that's a lot for a speech... it reeks of influence peddling, to me; food Stamp Retailer Trafficking... I looked that up online... don't steal from the Feds;

A Judicial Watch Special Report
Yeah, probably not a magazine... still, can't let those lefties create an Open Society; it's huge... and yes, it's one of the problems with wealth; I don't know if I would call any of that radical; there's an app for that; we got ourselves a caravan... ain't she a beautiful sight... caravan; they got a helicopter ride in a military chopper; my copy has certain key phrases underlined in red; them be a lot of citations;

{More from the pile. When out and about, I've got other material planned: the East West graphic novel.}

PT
Presbyterian Today
Field Trip!; give!; let's make it better; oh, this issue is ten years old... noticed the date in a tour guide ad; CEUs for what?; donations are going down... in relative terms; PC(USA); well, I talk to them; and I agree; standing to the side; I do not respect advocacy; I don't want them excluded... but I don't want them included, either... them; I have little love; god wants tomatoes to cost more; cute; the true rationale; need a job?; the question of the moment; finger labyrinths;

International Operating Engineer
It's a union rag... and on the cover, they are looking at solar cells; a carrier instrument to list classes; crane training... and heavy equipment; economic solidarity; about equal public and private sector union membership... +/- 7 million, each; the history of a rat; meeting minutes; deaths... moving on;

{And it's back to the stacks. It been so long, I'm not entirely sure where I am.}

SN
Science News Magazine
Society For Science & The Public
Caught in a fiery grip; ten feet in two hundred years just isn't that much; kind of seems obvious in retrospect... we are talking about a mechanical artifact; I do not respect Science... or perhaps, I should say, some practitioners of Science leave the craft wanting; maybe, they should practice; it cuts the rate in half... the base rate is 3.5%... ah, that's the old stuff... new cuts the rate to a tenth... this is for shingles; nice graphic; and that's a wrap; nope, sorry... he continues to do his part;

Scientific American
Cubist Face... split down the middle; back tracing the idea; urine tests aren't very good... they don't try to match the urine to the subject... it's a negative based pass... without any control; the publicity problem; one crime is reporting fake crimes; push your strengths... swerve away from your weaknesses; lead story pass... don't ask me why... I would have expected to find it interesting; eleven feet in twenty years... a different prediction... when... not how much; I live in a Wage Slave Economy... it's hard for me to care whether others are forced to join; the price will not go down... rather, the profit will go up; what happened in 2007?;

{it's a rainy day. And you know what they means. And if not, I'm taking magazines off of my rapidly dwindling private stack.}

chicago athlete magazine
Endurance Sports And Fitness
Swimming laps; stairwells are amazingly boring places; is running an accomplishment?... well, if I ran, I would think so... but I don't ellipses; close to 50,000 marathoners... that's 14 per 100,000; Monetize It!; silly; I prefer YYYY-MM-DD... using zeros as padding... 2019-04-30 would be today, for instance... and tomorrow will be 2019-05-01; Men vs Women; I've always wanted to do that... sorry, lying; always; it must help keep your head warm; my PR was not a BQ... frown face... so sad; find you pack;

The Journal
CSA Fraternal Life
In New York Czechoslovak Society of America
The issue goes back a half a decade... sunset on the lake... a trio out boating; 159th Anniversary; do we count that one?; if I new them, I could see the appeal... but I do not know them; a bit of an overstatement, I'd say; ah, rye bread; recipes... gardens..., will crafts come next?; mail in your bowling scores; who knows what 'High Score Protection' is, but they've got it; Bambi!; bowling is Big; $390/21 =3D $18.57 on average; kids & Kin; the Dead!; the Minotaur got me... my strategy of starting at the end did not work;

{Back to the grind.}

SculptuREview
The hands caught my attention... that's why this... and not the most recent; I am a fan of belly buttons; abstract sculpture seldom works for me; the face is nice... like strokes of paint; it's not clever... it's simply not done; overstated; still, the assemblage of faces is impressive... and would not be in a painted (two-dimensional) medium; reeks of 3-D Printing... but that's probably just how they came out... the organic design; desperate for ideas; impressive; too much; too similar... and any collector appeal is gone... says the non-collector; there is no honour... don't even try;

Self-Reliance
S-SF S-SSF... also, the aerial shot; excellent!... PPPPP to come in the pages ahead; why stand on one leg?; labor for labor's sake; close the Circle; how would you know; but are you really Self-Reliant if you subscribe to a magazine?; buy a book... also, steer clear of it needs to be cooked; I'm guessing Home-Schoolers are a big market; install rooftop sprinklers... for fighting fires; better yet!... wrap the lot in aluminum foil!; Me... you... Mescal... Bo.... lightning.... Raccoon Dude... drugs... drugs... more Drugs!... IDs... etcetera; I could use my Butt Bag; no... no, it cannot be saved... sorry;

Seventeen
Going back a few months, now... multi-colored black braids... offset in pink; smell the beauty; I Double Dog D.A.R.E. you; Doonesbury knew what he was about; charcoal is in; ah, purple... now, that was a hair color;  no one saw that coming; she knows... no, I am no being sarcastic; so inspired... I mean, inspo-rified;

See News
The trusted Sewing Source
This will be quick... um, that's what she said?... red... hoops... haven't cracked the cover and I'm almost done; essentially what I expected;

SFX
Bounty Hunter Edition!; seriously, not even a buck; 28 Years... nope; I'm no longer a fan... I don't want to worship... ignorance is closer to bliss... and yet, I am bored; at some point, you'll be able to insert whoever you want... and then, we'll see who the stars really are; good Omens... looks Good; also ran; hot Pink Triangles!; they don't make them like that, anymore; I never realized his costume was so threadbare... literally, held together by twine; ha!... he dies!... classic!; finally, be as stupid as they are;

{I was told by a friendly old bloke that it costs $25k/day to keep this library running.  Also, I got a Free Comic Book on account of the Day.}

Shalom tidings
A happy inter-racial couple; one dies and the other does not... whoops... got that wrong;  things don't always get better; success out of failure... but would it not be better to avoid failure in the first place?; I do not believe I came any closer to believing; also, I am far more likely to comment on pictures, which are likely in need of a verbal description, than to counter words with words... and, yes... juxtaposition is so often counterpoint... I agree wholeheartedly need seldom be said;

Shape
Blonde... all black and blue; the paper is so cheap, it naturally curls... all the back issues (this one from late last year) are  bending over and distorted; let us all speak out... and none, do a thing; two 18lb weights for $1,000+... idiots; cut it out... try it on; only idiots have these needs; yes, idiots!; idiots!  Idiots!  Idiots!; and here I was, expecting a horoscope... foolish me; idiots!;

{IDIOTS!}

Sierra
Explore. Enjoy. Protect.
Black & White... Baby Klick'it!... yikes!; yes!... cool!; gads... such lies... the Green New Deal will reinvigorate the Republican Party... trust me, Communism is to be feared over Fascism; I've driven on that... saw UFOs, too; you'll need some new gadgets to properly enjoy nature; ultraviolet lights are, apparently, readily available; a lot of moles; eight pages of names;

sift
Living Breathing Baking
A King Arthur Flour Publication
Cranberry pecan pastry swirl... or so, I would guess; the dog's bio caught my eye... work it out; is filling all you've got?... the only way to trick it out?... make it different; I've got The Gang Book on my tentative to read list... person who checked out this periodical last also checked that out... I do not lie; crouton based nachos; a tasty looking glaze; black means burnt; ice cream cone popovers; powdered maple syrup... looks good;

Sight & Sound
The International Film Magazine
I like the graphical front cover... a couple, a cat, and way more popcorn than they need; lots of reviews, it would seem; what culture does not like story telling; I wonder how one captures the spirit of an art film on the printed page; one wonders what was being streamed; nobody has seen most of The Great Movies... though many have seen fifty or more from select Top 100 Lists; in retrospect, I believe the essay was doomed from the start; so hard to care; nice hair; my hero... it's a funny line... and she's a sexy girl; first review I've really read... and I just watched the counter-punch juxtaposed example; this guy is good; can't fight the system; and yes, one good review(the same one) can a magazine make; moving on; you do what you got to do; a spaceship is better; another good review... humorous... culturally informed; planet Cosplay;

{Let's try another one. But quicker. I'm strapped for time.}

Sight & Sound
Watch Out!... She comes out punching!; this copy has been thumbed a bit more; sorry... lost interest; so Gay!... the tell-tale word... think men's perfume; there you go... this is the film I saw... I should read this review then, right?; wow!... I missed all that in the movie... read that scene all wrong; um, this is good... helpful... informative; Faulkner... Barn Burning... I'll see if a copy is available; ends in an interview... but I'd already stopped reading that article; I'm cutting it short... I'm sold on the magazine... but time for me to be moving on;

{Some of these next, I don't know if I would call them magazines.  At least, not strictly speaking. All the same, for the purposes of this project, I will call them magazines.}

1440
Multiversity
Summer 2019
A Learning Destination Where Energy, Discovery, And Creativity Flourish
Santa Cruz County, California
Just a picture of the main meeting hall... stuck deep in the woods, somewhere... presumably, the Santa Cruz Mountains;  have guitar... will hippy; labyrinth!... it looks like a nice one... pleasant to walk... I'm not a labyrinth guy; call it a Destination Spa... that focuses on heading the mind; Ted Talks are not real talks; if we lead, will you follow... oh, you're talking to me?... um, no; it's not enough padding; let's do this hand in hand... side by side; we both know you're not going to make it... right; I find that specific word's placement and inclusion suspect: it's a good cartoon; a four page spread for a guest?; I misread that, the first time... the implications; lots of buzz words to follow on the Internet... if I cared to; write a book, tour the country, and you'll never have to write another book again... this is The Hero Culture I rant against; I too am an empath... aren't we all?; I am grateful I got the Course Catalog for free; there are those words, again; not even a full size pencil; also, the real problem, as always, it is highly unlikely the information is worth the price... on the other hand, if I had the money, I might be a goer; still, from a cost analysis perspective, I think it's a waste of time... bring your own coloring book... stay an extra night... call it a wash;

common ground
The Bay Area's Magazine For Conscious Community Since 1974
You know it's a magazine, because it says so on the cover; what goes up, must come down... cheap graphic cover; I don't know these words; it's free... so, the price is right; it's all about creativity; better graphics inside; I stare into his eyes... and realize, he will never waiver from a firm belief in himself... it's s battle of wills; a soothing oxymoron; a different sort of linked list; money... there may be other reasons... but I'm guessing money tops the list... though, not mentioned... notoriety is clearly mixed in; dance & Play; and part of my job is having my photograph taken with other people; a party for discerning people; TED... it's information light... it's not the real thing... more like candy coated trivia... I don't even want to call it knowledge; meditation IS where it's at... I need to move slower; in depth coverage... I assume it's paid for... still, I enjoyed the bits and pieces I read; it is an interesting style... if not captivating; I won't be there... same week... someplace else; a gift for playing records; not the form... but the substance... a poets words ring true; well, that brought a laugh... go for it all... have it all... but why the hate for corporate form?; I'm going to download that... maybe write something up; OK... won't be doing that... no Creative Commons License on the website;

Discover Life
Dirt track racing... no, it's paved... such a hooligan... can't even spell his name right; well, I thought wedding... but that's a sort of party; Nutritional Products Publishers Association... it would be ironic if there were only one member; when content doesn't matter... and the primary concern is the expense write-off... on the other hand, I picked up this 'magazine' based almost entirely on the cover... and thus, the cover story; also, he doesn't really look all that healthy; yowza!; I made sure every lady one of them had a red nose; An Arcade!... I'll put that on my list... and putting that on my list prompted quite the restructuring of my current Working Notes... time to clean house; um, why are we watering rice in the paddies; I was expecting her to be the publisher's daughter or something; I really don't take anything about this magazine seriously... I'm assuming these are all family vacations or the like... heck, if I were rich enough, I'd most likely (as in, yeah, it's pretty darn likely) pay others to blog about me... I heard about one couple who were offering a photographer (this being the come on) $100,000 to document their around the world adventure... Art!... as good as any in any museum; it's an odd sort of ad... a full page editorial for a retail store 2,000 miles away from where I picked up this magazine... sitting next to all the other local advertising magazines;

In The Field
Field Museum Member Magazine
A nice big skull... with nothing else to clutter up the cover; lots of trustees... I wonder how one becomes a trustee; I haven't seen Sue, yet... wait!  That's not true... I haven't seen her in her new home... and even that may not be true... I'm having a hard time recalling if she was among the construction debris; proof!... if you say so... though, I doubt it is... proof, that is; I keep on forgetting this a museum membership magazine; maybe I should go to the aquarium;

Alive
A simple forest graphic... and the laughable suggestion that reading something made from wood pulp is somehow beneficial to trees; we'll tell all your neighbors... good news... if you like that sort of thing; ah, she was on the other side; I have little desire to consult (interact) with professionals of any sort... I'm sure they make good dinner companions... but I have no desire to pay for their meal, if you know what I mean; he's a 'Concierge Physician'... forget what I just said; sexy; as long as we're doing copyrighting, why not branch out into patents?; all paid for... would be my guess; blatant reverse sexism... sorry, said that wrong... blatant sexism; ha, I could do unfashionable men's fashion layouts; maybe, it's time to buy a car; to be with others... while alone... isn't that the dream?;

{And that's it for my latest acquisitions.  It's either back to the stacks... or that other pile I've got waiting for me.  Either way, it will have to wait for another day.}

{I have decided to only carry one phone with me for the duration of the summer. We shall see how it goes. This means I will be using a new note-taking app (memo on Android versus notes on the iPhone).  I am a bit apprehensive, as it looks like I have to manually save. But so far, so good.}

Simply Gluten Free
Onions!... Drat!... I thought we were looking at squid tortillas; only a chef would add the sesame seeds; just eat an egg; bourbon does not taste good; all the crap... none of the gluten; too lazy to add your own herbs?... we got you covered; but is Kauai gluten free?; and for our healthy getaway, we'll be sucking fumes; he's my b-e-au... boyfriend... yeah, that's what I'll call the miserable worm... we are talking about a Power Exchange, clearly... the best way to start the day; so, what was in that sauce I had the other day?... almond paste, to be sure... ah, now I remember... a pasta sauce... so, almond paste, olive oil, touch of water... others used flour as a thickener... I'd use more almond paste; the projects alcoholics choose to complete;

Skeptical Inquirer
The hidden secrets of the DNA revealed!; lots of psychologists; turn about is fair play; 'Classic Moral Panic!'... classic!; it's a Missionary Religion; if a student can't tell why one theory is better than another (Flat Earth vs Round Earth) are they really receiving a solid grounding in science?; Miracle Denied!... Good day, sir!... I said, 'Miracle Denied!'; if Leonardo da Vinci was 'revolutionary'?... how does his divergence from the norm differ from Flat Earthers?... sure.  Sure... he's right. They are wrong... but how do we know they are wrong?... or that allowing them to be wrong won't allow them to gain different sight?; and you wonder why I am a skeptic?... cynic?... eh, same thing; burden of Proof?... odd concept... I am under no obligation to validate my beliefs... prove the negative... see how ridiculous your claims are?; I thought there was more intermixing within the strands; it's complicated; I prefer the more coloquial Genetic Freak; ha! Ha!... he fooled you!; everyone's a critic; ultimately, there dragons aren't very important... not so much tilting at windmills... as tilting at air... is this all there is to debunk?;

{OK. So I have the notes (two of them).  Now, all I have to do is figure how to pull them off my device.  Sure. Sure. Via email.  But do I want to set email up on this device?}

Ski
First Chair To Last Call
They have their endless summer... We have our 'Limitless Powder'; in my mind, sex goes hand in hand with action and adventure... we'll see what this magazine holds; with ski runs like these, who needs enemies?; history in the making... or if you are not jealous, what's the point?; there's a law for that... er, against that; there we go!... infinity Pool Hot Tub!; for it to be any fun, we'd have to lose the driver; and that's how you die; it's hard to get any color in pictures of snow; reading the fine print... WARNING: Humans are Idiots... tread carefully; 'Dog-Party' brings to mind Homo-Erotic Baaccian Delight... well, really, so much more than mere Homo-Erotic; in the moment... to escape the moment;

Sky & Telescope
The Essential Guide To Astronomy
If you've seen one planet, you've seen them all... still, doesn't this one have a distinctive eye?; well, I wouldn't quite call that the palm of my hand; if I lived in a sky scraper, I would want a telescope; don't worry, though; milky Swirls!; I wonder as to the number of subscribers; it will (or would, something that far away in time should probably not be described as sometging thst will) be quite the show; 24x the fun; I applied for a job at a telescope, once... I've applied to a lot of places... usually, just the once; the best seat in the house... six miles high; is science and observation one and the same?;

Slam
Number something three... make a wish... what's white, black, and tattooed all over?; it's an astonishingly silly thing to care about; that's the thing... I do not respect the game... but it is almost entirely tangential to my life... so, it makes little difference; Crap food for a crap game... there, I said it; on court protection is slowly inching forward... a fabric skin, here... kneepads, there; why would you not wear pads?; selling inspiration?... so they say; yeah, I still don't respect the game;

Smithsonian 
Camo!; dog Tag Art... I will not be honoring the fallen... sorry, I don't feel it; I read it as a coupon for $5 Off Meth... wishful thinking, perhaps; what empty hype... desperately looking for an icon; fun tributes... feel free to spit on my grave... or write your own review... or do both... 'The spit was drippy and sweet.  But that was my own fault, as I was still eating my ice cream cone.'... see, I started with the idea of charing gum... but there would be collateral damage... and I'd rather lick on a cobe than chew gum any day of the week; no public domain entries for 20 Years... F! Copyrights!... &copy... ya, bastards!; no emojis for me... thank you very much; no War... great Depression... coincidence?; real blood... white socks; in the future it will be from drones... smart bombs... smart guns... call them what you will; cool hat... but only because it seems legit... has the aura of combat; that's great... I'm coming to the conclusion this sort of thing is a test of wills... ego... nothing more; not good... not evil... ego... nothing more; a crappy graphic; this or that... death surrounds us... along with everything else, I am convinced war is a constant... and always has been; steel reinforced sand bags; do not care... not my cause celebrity... never will be; idiot ads... for... and by;

Soap Opera Digest
Beard vs Stubble... Mano a Mano; dork... excuse me... pregnant Dork; dead... alive... someone is paying attention to these page layouts; such a sneer... and here I am smiling; should I pick a new hairstyle?; fade into real... I like that... with fan tents, no doubt; B&B?... I haven't a clue... Brave & Beautiful?; scary... both of them; I liked the Real World Tie In... don't know if it was all in my head... but I don't care for out of character details... I am a fan of characters... not actors; sure; ha... 'The hard way!  The hard way!'... some girls like it rough; and that's why I don't contribute;

Sophisticate's Hairstyle Guide
Carrie! Katy! & Kim!... I so do not care about Kim; nice color... a true Platinum Blonde; well, OK... I like non-blonde blondes; you, Man Slut, you!; the plastic bow is stupid... no, don't try to fight it... it's stupid... you're stupid; pink... OK... I was getting ready to say 'Astoundingly Boring.'... but Pinky can redeem the lot;

Sound & Vision
Kinky!... did I get you?; a room only an Interior Designer could come up with; for those who care... I do not... 127... 129... whatever it takes... er, I mean, fits; the privacy company; shortly, I will forget her name, once again... almost gone; the appeal of money... I wonder if I would be more active... likely, so how much more?; it's spelled Lazer; gold pickups... it took me awhile to remember that word; I'll pass on the movies... all of them... for now; u would have said I was a fan... but the truth is he's a fan... while I listened to them on the radio; Moody Blues & Rush... let's see if I remember to listen to either;

Southern home 
Such beautiful style... looks like any other living room to me... complete with a trio of plants I'd just find annoying... I'm in a mood to be annoyed... liable to lash out... and change things; I could write a story about killing them... see, I'm in one of those moods... make me smile... please!; seen their ad before... same theme... different copy; she seems overly proud... smug, even; a bronze cast... for those not man enough to bag the beast... not that taxidermy seems very manly; I like that color; it all blends together; give me a bookcase; leaning back to flip... the faster way; could I form that picture into a story... the skirt is captivating... the girl is not; with the slaves to clean it?... sold!;

Southern Lady
Elegant?... seriously, it's all the same... pink flowers... no, blue flowers... in a word, Festive... but when I call a cover out by the text, perhaps something is missing... distinction; I guess, the couple has a kid... dead on the first page; same publisher... this will be quick; boy's clothes for girls... she can live... perhaps, her quest for revenge is the story; see?... she grows up evil... but not evil enough; I can see the appeal... as a craftsman; it's the better (more diversified) of the two magazines; sissies!... give the crocodile a biting chance;  one item a month... for the rest of your life... get that dish set... the hard way; not enough quirk to carry the room; I got the sterling spoons... I still need forks... then, maybe, the teacups... or coffee mugs... I want them larger than that... or I could always change my habits; more food... more; a way of life; and back in story land, we have that final moment... etched into her memory ellipses... forever!; or skip the middleman... and Sell!;

Southern Living
Blackberry Waffles!... so ellipses... so ellipses... cover Worthy!; if only I were a drunk; advice only a fool needs... 'Hey!  We know our readers.  So, back off, Jack!'; I thought they were drinks... thus, jelly, water, cool... I'm going to try that; runny eggs are raw eggs; BBQ Bacon!... an Instant Classic!... cook on a wire rack for best results; more Wire Rack Bacon; anything on mashed potatoes makes mashed potatoes better; they look dry; can't leave well enough alone; the baked eggs look compelling... think poached egg custard with all the trimmings... it's all about the trimmings; scrambled toast... for those who find bread pudding a bit mushy; more single serving ideas for the buffet; pancakes are not my thing;

southwest art
I'll go with the Indian Squaw any day of the week... Cowgirl Up!; obvious; the two styles are so close... and worlds apart; mescaline, anyone?; ah, this is why art museums art moving away from oil... it's time has come and gone... the market, oversaturated; fairly brazen... a death knell to me... interesting only due to the copyrighted subject matter... yeah, just double checked... that's where my eyes go; hussy... I'm having fun; should I become rich (like really rich) remind me not to waste my money on crappy art... though, I could see becoming a patron... until my benefactor(s) found other patrons... then, I'm out; worth the time I spent on it... and not a moment more; turns out he's good... I like the original iconography better... sorry, Marilyn Monroe iconography cheating... and a persona I care nothing about; give me a painted bronze mer-octopus holding up a glass top coffee table; smug bunny; I'd rather have silver;

Spirituality & Health
The Soul | Body Connection
A bosom full of broccoli... Food Fire!... that's not a misspelling; cruising... until I get to the grey haired men; waste not... want not... for time, that is; the marketing shines through... what a shame... truth must be willing to fail; probably... if we qualify, to your True Self; I am no priest... that is my qualification for teaching Zen... or if not Zen, then what Zen ought to be; spend your money the new way... A How To Guide; which experience is right for you; I like the cover image... it's a quarry; in this... in that; I like his look... wild hair... close cut beard... simple sweater; Turns out, he's a walker... I could be an advocate for walking... but I could not advocate for those who need an advocate for walking; better than getting you high... it gets you clean;

Sports Afield
The Premier Hunting Adventure Magazine
Always Do!... cammo!... Bullets!... 28-12... or maybe, 29-13; when you want to pay more; inhale... can you smell it?; grip Stock; whatever... me, I kill for fun... and profit!; Take-Down!... what could they mean?; beauty?... or ruthless efficiency?; full tang, if you please; the score that matters is accuracy... under pressure; dead Lion Sitting; I continue to like the idea of spear hunting... it seems more manly to me; it's not just recoil... but the recoil felt; he's Huge!... and he's dead; bears... a bit if a shame... I have little emotion when it comes to farmed water buffalo; let's look at the listings; I bought my 40 acres for $17,500... it was a few years ago... I sold it for a loss;

Star 
A Zombie stars front and center... while the Royals flee to Africa... cowards!; oh, No!; who is who... I mean, it's like they expect me to know; my eyes!... my eyes!; it's called... Acting!; needs a comma... ,and... almost always; more No... fun to see, though... good to see my old friends haven't changed; I would have guessed Eminem... so, he's got his look down better than I thought; Gangsta Pink!; candy Whore!; these are some seriously stupid names; well, look cool would be one answer; hey! I need attention, too; but did it have a 'Happy Ending?'; poverty (or something like it) is the norm... the numbers are interesting, though... singing is the way to go... maybe, I should sing; room with a view; and out;

stereophile
42L/42R... get it right, Input Four!; goodbye... it's like your leaving before I ever got a chance to say 'Hi'.; the tip of the needle; I sold big ones of those... the type you put at the base of skyscrapers... not record players; I want to feel the furniture shake... the windows rattle and roll; typically in the hundreds... some in the thousands... several thousand... we are talking record player needles, here... way too much money; proving patents are a bad idea; ah, headphones... took me awhile; done with gear... I am... plenty of pages to go; talking of a record's grooving... because it matters; and now, it is time to say goodbye;

{I ain't going anywhere.  A nice lazy morning. To start, anyhow.}

Equis
The Horse Owner's Resource 
A few years ago, they put a horse on the cover... go figure... also, I'm guessing horses are allergic to maple leaves; nice picture... silly legalese; safe enough for your horse... good enough for your dog; horses can get rabies... from skunks,  no less; there are not as many facial movements as you may have imagined; maybe, it's the veins in the skin... reeks of muscles; boots... for horses; centered on the ears; do you not know; black is more valuable than brown; I tend not to respect; I'm getting a kick out of the booties; snow shoes, even... oddly, for keeping the cold in... an alternative to the old ice-bucket treatment; a fantastic foal!; cats, owls, and (I'm just going to guess, here) kids; they got themselves a Film Festival; keeping her all trussed up;  and there you are... many a dream;

Best Friends
Together, we can Save Them All
Not looking at the camera... come on, ya grinning, floppy-earred ellipses... whatever you are; a donation based app... interesting concept... save virtually... save in The World; no Kill... requires No Excess Breeding; Utah or Arizona... the choice is yours; crew of Cats; my mind is full of cats and dogs; I wonder what the longterm breeding strategy is; PR is Job One; they look like stuffed animals; endless rescue stories... endless... come on, end; legal Watch; no life?... it is my life!; can dogs be transgendered?... and what does this say about the prevelence of the condition in the wild; not a dog person... how about a hawk?; well, he matches my tattoo; got to draw the line somewhere... or not... let's save the rabbits!; ah, we are now in the outlier pages; leave it to the cats; trading (instead of fetch) is a good idea; are the eyes photo-enhanced?;

Dayton 
University of Dayton Magazine 
A red-faced rabid fan... sport (any sport) is a silly reason to get excited; a good (if confusing) picture; it's a Catholic School... or so, I presume; in case you don't follow social media... and/or why there is no reason to bother; I must admit, I don't see how they work... or would be better than multiple deadbolts; not all names are positive... not all faces add to your brand... nothing he says has meaning; the photo challenge... how to up the game?; silly... also, a waste of good luggage space... I wonder how many just packed the cover?; looks like a new library... um, OK; such a crappy sign... one wonders st the hidden belief... if he sees, are they saved?; give; trying to maintain community... or succeeding; it would appear his name is 'Army'; this Christmas Tree consumed well over 1,000 hours of effort to plan and erect... is one to be proud of this?... in fairness, the number is likely for all Christmas Decorations Campus Wide... or for thirteen more trees, at least;

Traditional Home
Flowers (carnations?) on a desk... highly impractical... computer screen almost out of sight... just the glare from the window makes the computer unusable; we had some pretty good lobster spaghetti, yesterday... after we added lemon; bad Girl!... she lost her couch sitting privileges; and yet, they can think of nothing but sheer black for themselves; how much time until he dies... I find grim thoughts this morning... he's counting years... she's counting seconds... what does she know that he does not?; I like the shots with the people living in the spaces... here, two crones decide the fate of ellipses; turkey loaf done right; quite the ad... but the implied regimentation is too rigid for me; a comfy couch... it has potential; 'Discerning Style', what a meaningless phrase... might as well say, 'Willing to throw money at problems.'; rather than Captain, I think follower; he's great fun... I like his character... I question how much I need to get to know him better... or what purpose his inclusion sells... but then, I can guess;

{And that's enough from the Odds & Ends Pile for the moment.}

{Back into the thick of it.}

Strand Magazine
Not a bridge... my other cover choice... looks like Foggy Victorian England at Night; once we empty the mind of respect (call it awe), what do we have left?; Wait!... I have a daughter?; so much content... I despair to compete... and believe (more and more) it is a waste of my time to try; the marketing is a lie... or at least, I no longer believe it to be true; I care not about his humanity... but his ideas... I speak of Moseley... in between the crap lies genius... but not enough to overwrite the crap; but what's the motivation when Life no longer matters... the desire for an absence of pain powers a slow decline into the pit... and not much else... pain, I welcome thee... for, you are the flip-side to greatness; nope; just buy it used; not much of a body... Mr Wells?; every couple of months (or years) I throw the extra books out... it's clear I'll never get to some... and in a few months (or years), the stack has magically grown just as large... come on, this project alone takes up a good ten hours a week... and I acquire a few extra books every week;

strategy + business 
A butterfly in her phone... also, I truly expect the cover story to be a lie... a definitional thing; on the back page, I fail to appreciate a Leadership Education... or at least, I have no desire to be led by such a one... I will follow Honorable Merit... longterm, nothing else; the 4% are correct; standardization only improves the bottom half; hire idiots... problem solved; I continue to want to develop a Slaughter Quest Character; influence trumps Truth... the failure of our times... of course, I say this believing I advocate Truth... who is to say Truth and Influence are not, already, correlated?; the usable content in this magazine (for me, anyway) seems to be negatively correlated with article length; the System is broken... and always will be; I agree with her... but I haven't the time to extract the gems... give me a condensed list; when only the same as everyone else will do... striving for Mediocrity!... operation Bullseye!;

{The endless possibilities of magazines goes on and on.}

Casino Collectible News
Brought to you by The Casino Chip and Gaming Token Collectors Club, Inc.
30th Anniversary... Can't break them, now; the Bunny Ear Sub-Specialty Collection; free Ads... I look forward to the weird ones; let's grow the hobby; a sister organization; some of them make their own chips; there will be no exchange of money in the trade room; stripping information from magnetic strips; Buffalo Trace rears its head, again... I failed to get this bourbon on the plane, a wile back; Sex & Silver; a nice bounty; pink Lady... I'm pretty sure she ain't no lady... nor cowgirl; the most interesting question is why does it look so amateurish... the font... and the backgrounds... just saying;

{And here we are, back to the Alphabetical Listing ellipses just in case you didn't notice.}

Strategy & Tactics
Historical?... or Modern Era?... I'm going to be on Italy with the home field advantage; a vehicle for selling games; complete with chair... so one can rest comfortably whilst killing hubdreds; well, playing games enables me to understand the symbols; exploitation... the armor piercing attack; ancient history is not as interesting... you know, to me; I imagine one's imagine blossoms over time; I fear (or can easily imagine) death on the field of battle... ideological politics is far more interesting to me... not Bullets... not Money... not even lawyers playing at Law... Culture & Religion is where it is at; a war fought over land and money... sounds typical; that does not look comfortable; but I want to die!; niue... a proud warrior race; I'm not a gamer, anymore... not really;

Success
New Year, New You
Tony has a great jawline... I consider him handsome... however, I do not seel him out; acceptance; fatso; I am what you want to be... or at least, I am willing to pretend to be so; be Compassion; eating earlier works for me... it's not having a second supper (after eating too early) that's difficult for me; gads, talk about empty... no inspiration in that, for me; idiot... shall we try for three in a row?... sorry, in a green column?; excellent!... we have the trifecta of fools;  to be fair, if I answered these exact questions, my answers would be just as inane; we can do difficult things; I doubt I would read based on the cover; believe in yourself or no one else will... hogwash... how about being worthy of respect... and then, respecting yourself; I do believe this business is about selling the obvious; actually, it doesn't take that long to either sharpen an ax or chop down a tree; I did not learn much... here I am waiting for the lead story and... meh; even on second pasd, I'll pass; Body, Heart, Mind, & Soul... Lift, Love, Read, & Love some more; it's a way of life... how one lives... it is this moment... and the plan for the next; 365 Ideas... yes, that they are; I played Kick Ball in Elementary School... if I went pro, would you care what I had about anything unrelated to Kick Ball?... well, I wouldn't... and I don't; don't Die!... in truth, I think this mindset is st odds with Soul... death is an option... and in some sense, it is the last decision everyone makes;

The Sun
Skipped in full... as I may have already included a copy... and even if not, as I intend to do all twelve issues from 2019 as a separate project; yes, <i>The Sun</i> is that good;

Sunset
I don't believe they know how to surf... Surf Safari... I'm hungry... that picnic is looking good; I've got a new sketching app... will that work; I predict more solmenella; not on my bucket list... also, note how none of them are free; I like the Fake(?) Social Media; Muir Woods was awesome; or just use olive oil; that could work... like a dream lakeside house with intrigal dock and pier; idiotic tattoos... I wonder if the jacket is his own line; don't worry... the list will change next month; salmon and eggs; I suppose, if you don't know, you don't know; I have no audience... and yet, I still Art; should I go to the aquarium?;

Sunshine Artist
Wisconsin Sunset... by a lemon; hello!; witty!... nay, snarky!; by artists... for patrons; Hawaii does not have a low sales tax... or does it?... maybe, it's on everything... and so,  doesn't seem particularly low; the bowl has a satisfying feel... the rest are... they simply are; slim coverage; it costs $2,575 to display at the Christmas Show... wow!; the magazine is for vendors... but I am willing to assume it's a comprehensive list of art shows nationwide... let's check; nope... California is curiosly omitted; ha!... Texas based... but only two listing for The Lone Star State; show listings are where it is at... shows pay to be listed;

Surfer
The Dark Side of the Wave... silly astronaut, waves are for kids; I need gear; I fail to see the innovation; high Tech Mission to Mars... the surf board is optional; screams Square!; I don't know what I am looking at... also, localism has always reduced to poor locals versus rich outsiders... it's the monetary distinction that matters the most... or, you know, when playing football as a kid, it always sucked to play with strangers... they did things a bit differently... the rules not the same... and nobody likes a cheater; solid prose... a praise filled apology; don't care about the next one; truthfully, what has happened is a loss of control... no ownership... but then, these people did not own the beach in the first place... clearly, I am pro-kook; so, felons, basically... I got no respect... destroy them... bring them to their knees... lawsuits are painful things... share and share alike... or be forever in danger of being targeted, youself; I definitely have an emotional response... and it does not align with the locals... perhaps, it is because I am a vagabond... I not really a local anywhere... and have not been so for years; dude, keep in mind, you were on your best behavior... and it was an easy day... nothing to get excited about; still ellipses... 2 for 3; back to that article about localism... Locals Only... and all that... I am risk adverse... I mean, I just expect strangers to be mean... and so, endeavor to never give them the chance... the Appalachian Trail likely has the same problem; there is nothing g romantic about it; well, OK... that's cool; been there... done that... simplicity somehow seemed original; his hair is too long... considering;

taproot
For Makers, Doers, & Dreamers
I tend to find it difficult to describe these simplistic covers... oh, well... I'll give it a try... ferns!... no... broadleaf tropicals; back cover... is there a meeting of the minds?; slack hat sucker... it's devoid of originality, at this point; make Along... I like the idea; everything is better if it is foreign; nice; I do not care for that art style; I am a stranger to birth... likely death... though, I live both nearly every minute (a lie) in the abstract; I'm First!... F-You!... I struggle to heal my alienation from God; it's odd how much work goes into inferior food, sometimes; steak does not need to be dressed up; it's odd how Food Rich I am... for in my youth, economics dictated my diet; where do you hide?; I tend to jump the gun; I will die... I do not say this simply to prove my previous point... ha... I wonder what an emotional analysis of this project would show?; another labour of love... and money;

Simple & Delicious 
Eggplant Pizza?... pass... no question about it; how to be Cool?... it's a real question... as most markers of Cool are anything but; I'm thinking about buying a big load of bacon... ironically, that bacon looks pretty limpid; those look good... and I have both steak and peppers at the ready; Fajitas... it's what's for supper; I wonder if I should follow a recipe or two... I could stand to learn a thing or two about spices; wow!... that is not a recipe... start with freezer section meatballs... just ellipses... wow!; jelly works as a sauce... add balsamic to trick it out; I should slice my hamburgers thinner, next time... plan to eat doubles; maybe, I should grill up a load of sausages, too... yeah, I'm hungry;

Taste of the South
If it was the ultimate, it would have more strawberries... bigger pieces; though, let us be honest, I start this day (call it a session, as it I'd mid-afternoon) in a foul mood; I like the pose... the remainder, contrived; Mississippi tries ellipses; corn with the 'dads; yeppers, tattoos remain idiotic; replace the avocados with pickles, and you got yourself a sandwich; do you see the portable surveillance tower?... I do; calming... words diminish negative emotions... and the right ones flat out elevate them... you know, induce knowing smiles and happiness; I do not care for soft-shell crab; more nope; lots of food... duh, look at the magazine's name; pizza's for dinner; the potluck solution; I seldom crave sweets, as I have so many of them... it's hard to build up a desire for a need that is continually met; and yet, only one is desirous;

td
talent development 
Stay focused... don't let you mind wander... I have no idea what the spilled paint is supposed to represent... now, if it was milk ellipses; my new theory on middle management is that obedience and a lack of imagination is key... given a plan, worm the plan... so, also, tenacity; ?... seriously... just '?'; I'm passionate about disrupting innovation; onboarding?... a definition would be nice; ah, we used to call this training ellipses... or orientation; FOSU... I hate acronyms; the lead articles seem like air; learning by doing... who would have thought?; a serious lack of the content I want... but then, I am a self learner... as in, long ago I mastered this magazine's content... and I don't think I learned anything new, today;

teaching children mathematics 
National Council of Teachers of Mathematics 
25th... I see lots of anniversary editions... they must sell better; gators make the best pets... big smiles... they're happy; end of an era; oh, my; just the facts, ma'am; it's hard to go back to a time of ignorance... to forget what you know; is STEAM just STEM with an extraneous A?... I'm going to guess art... but it's just a guess; I like dice... these are not particularly cheap... I got twenty times the dice for two times the price;

{I got a stack of Design Magazines, the other day. Let us begin.}

Tile Magazine 
Cacti... and that playing block diagonal pattern from my youth; looking... my mind's not thinking; the retail market... as in, tile for shopping centers; I wonder how they are removed... what's left behind?; is having a heated floor important?... if cost effective, I can see the advantages of heating from the ground up; ah, it's a saw blade; decorate your lair; it's a good advertising section... images... what's what in the very short captions; somehow, walking through the goop seems like a bad idea; I did not guess correctly... my first thought was it's a hotel lobby... but the check-in counter isn't quite right... has shelf ledges; it's not that soft; I have no desire to be an operator of Powered Equipment... I was going to say Heavy Equipment... but being a Crane Operator might be cool;

MIT Technology Review
Hey! Guess what?... it's The Technology Issue... and the Robot Arm is giving g the irony of that declaration a Thumbs Down... best as I can tell... now, be a good robot and let go of the human; no one is in charge... some are just better at reaping profit than others; forward looking is meaningless; I don't work ellipses... have a job... the pay isn't worth the time; capital only exist at the whim of The Market... and The Government and The Market are One; no need to read when you know; am I a journalist?... define journalist?; if the interface is owned... control of trad (and/or expression) will follow; I've come to the conclusion Income should not be taxed nor benefits reduced because of... Capital should be taxed... in all its manifestations; it's information sparse... I have no desire for the fluff... fluff comes easy to me... it's synonymous with filler; I look forward to the Performance Review; but can it choose the best piece of chicken?... the one I will want to eat?; bullets do solve problems... just saying; ha, so wrong... was Britain upset with The East Indian Company?; six companies made most of the cars... how many airlines were there?... concentration may be the problem... but the problem had always been with us... is it any surprise Howard Hughes made his fortune in a regulated industry?; flip it over... for more hype; wrong; interesting; there is an inspiration in reading about others... it fires up the competitive spirit;

{It's seeming increasingly silly (and/or uninteresting) to make note of when I switch back and forth from public to private stack. But here I go again.}

Interior Design
The office space looks like some sort of underwater coral reef undulating space of serene calmness; socks serve a purpose... and so, those who do not wear them, are not physically engaging their universe... or so goes my analysis; tie-downs?... do they rock?; there's a fine line between different and wrong... or if you don't like wrong, not maximizing one's opportunities; he's dead... and I'd only started hearing about him... maybe that's why; sure, sure... the Mona Lisa... but what was the first one; people not working at work; corks!; it's a nice picture... the unraveling spiral dynamic of it all; woven acrylic, I'm guessing; 'Layering' must be a new buzzword; the new robotic look; what a sentence!... in other words, it looks cool; superstar Chair Designer!... um, no; I hate the plants; and this is what you can do with a gutted office space; and as to how?; hats!; brutalism... turning to natural modernism; statement armoire; folks think better when they skate; I'd rather have a black hi-tech writable surface; on some level, I desire that coffee mug; that's a busy room; I like these stairways that double as auditorium spaces; getting done, here... even if the spaces are getting artsier; verdict?... not revolutionary enough... I'm talking of a car, here... the magazine was swell;

Contemporary Stone & Tile Design
High end restaurant... I like the blue water droplet drop-down ceiling effects; do they lead?... if so, who follows?; bad copy... certainly, I thought it was hard to read; it would function well in a hotel room... the open air closet; brag... brag... bored; will it add value?... will it be more effecient than renting rooms?... such a building can hardly feed a grassroots can-do self-starter mentality; how is it served... also, in a hands-clean environment, I would think wrist-wear would be a no-no; too many keynotes... not enough worth speaking about;

An Interior
It looks like snow... but I am sure it is sand... not your normal room; $6.95... I wonder how many actually buy; in answer to previous... this is part of that; China has some cool stuff; churches (sorry, chapels) are getting smaller and smaller; hey!... In Real Life, there's a Hedgehog Houseguest sleeping less than ten feet away from me; lava lamp time; stackable cards have appeal... or some sort of modular sculpture medium... Legos would do... perhaps, perfect... except for the price... boredom... in search of the cure; failure... it looks like an orchestrated solution... I want an organic on... not beauty for sale... but beauty inspired... in other words, when the Muse (capitalize it punk) is not Money; can you corporatize innovation?... make Chaos dependable?; and yet, it looks like crap... like an unfinished children's fort; I wonder how it would look in use... as a sculpture, the wire frame steer's head is wonderfully simplistic... but put a bike on it?; a fall waiting to happen; wacky... often equals stupid... see, I can see the lines... the effort... the intent... but not the successful implementation of any of that... it's the raw desire for success... without hitting the mark... might as well not have tried, at all... it's more honest; and the next page hits it... and someone else is saying what I just said... maybe; let's do a drawing... you know, in my new app... I think I nailed it... it's a good medium for me; and now, I'm looking for things to sketch; another swing... another miss;

Architectural Record 
More to the point, does anyone know what Bauhaus was about; but what happens in the spaces; a chain link curtain; window wall system after window wall system; I don't respect LEED... one should be able to get points for doing nothing... the life of the building matters; fooled me... I thought it existed... it's, like, 20 people on an acre of land... that much labor changes everything; remove cars... constrict distance... encourage cool behaviour... so, you know, keep out the riff-raff; why does this vinyard have a guard tower?; can you solve the maze?; Bauhaus was a school... a loose association... nothing more... from what I can tell; in the tropics, often, there is no need for a screen... let alone a window... let outside in; it's nice to be the tallest building around; whack the Kid!; only one is compelling; red shoes... so last year; now, that is cool... the building bending back... a seam in the facade opening to the inside... clever; a wall of chairs... also, clever; the flying fish caught my eye; I see the devotion... but fail to see the faith... the question is... obedience to what?... why is not nearly as important; tires are great breeding grounds for mosquitos... how was that addressed?... on the other hand, removing intersections from the grid is a great first step; the maps just aren't interesting; mud... that's what it is called... for a reason; let's earn some credits; koi ponds mean rats and disease to me... just saying;

{T is for Tennis, the next Alphabetical Item.}

tennis
Wild hair... orange visor... fierce determination; I could care less about tennis... the fact that we have Professional Athletes is pretty amazing; them be the rules; show a little belly; there is, very much, a total lack of caring on my part; I suppose, their mo ey comes from people who give them money; of course, we (meaning I) immediately turn to those whose money is more suspect; a racket is a racket is a racket; a trio of freshly taped rackets... one for each set in the match; um, a used racket is good enough for me... come to think of it, I never did get that bat I was thinking about; investors were needed... and I'm out; or let's revisit that... if one could rank, one could predict, so if it works, why not bet?; app controlled tennis ball machine... a solid hit; snap To!; in the end, everything has its general application;

This Old House
A family affair?... no apprentices... posing in front of a wall of vices... and not the good kind... but I like the grip on the hammer; a comedian who's done quite well for herself... despite the decided disadvantage of not being funny; how do concrete fence post footings compare with sunk in place  (pile driver) ones?; pay to train others in a trade I feel excluded me?... not a chance; what's important has changed... flip-flopped, as it were; how to make crap look like it isn't; continual feed hot water would be cheaper; I never had those... saw burn marks were common; then, pay them more... problem solved... it's really no surprise that a minimum wage starting position deters some folks from pursuing a particular line of work;  or get some exercise... and use an ax; without the legal baggage, it sounds like a steal;

threads 
A simple red dress... a classic; embroidered silk sounds luxurious; and that's how you pound out one last magazine on the day; apparently, cheaters do prosper; I got drawn back inside by the back cover... patents are a crime... pure and simple;

{Hey! Guess what I got? Yeah, that's right! More magazines to go!}

{It's getting harder and harder to remember which ones I've done before. One thing I want to do at the end is run some stats: longest entry, most repeated magazine, and so forth. I don't anticipate this next being any of those. But it is a take-home model. So, there you are ellipses another stat ellipses Percent in Alphabetical Order.}

The University of Chicago Magazine 
The smartest (and sleepiest) lab rat ever!; why 43?... more importantly, who will follow... and maybe even more importantly, how many masters may a man have... how many leaders can one man follow effectively?; the sister magazine looks interesting; some honorific titles are diminutive; I find the room more interesting... a very well lit cave... with paintings on the wall... or so, I would have you believe; art is easy... we hardly need universities for it; I will judge you by the advertisements you accept; some years... not a single update... no news at all; I can accept many (if not most) of the alumni (and/or students) are more driven than me... but does university confer an inherent advantage to the learning process?... and if so, what?... I grant the experience and the diploma... but as an intrinsic seeker of knowledge?... not so much sour grapes... or maybe it is... but without the opportunity, what would one have to do to make it up?... I mean, I'd like to go to a Night Owls Lecture... but isn't a Streaming Video just as good?;

{Eh, it's probably sour grapes as much as anything. To do it over, deep diving into some topic for 4-8 years sounds highly appealing. On the other hand, doing it under the guidance and control of another sounds downright oppressive. Thus, contrasting desires. And I am ambivalent.}

Azure
_Design _Architecture _Interiors _Curiosity
I like the _ in the _Tag _Lines... The Future of Fake Fronts... as a trio of creative types pose intently; I smell the printing; is it an indulgance?; I find the wedges interesting... a good divisor of the sitting area; it's a fun turn of phrase... be a White Princess; I wanted it to be a cave... but it's just Smoky Quartz; I'm not a big fan of the smell... let us assume ammonia... like a mimeograph; not impressed... sorry... I guess others are; randomness turns into a map; if that's the factory floor, it's highly impressive... looks like a clean room; I can see wanting a crown... or a tiara; hats do not make one creative... that said, I wore an Indiana Jones style hat for years... I really liked it; so little respect for tattoos... it's like the anti-ad, at this point;

{Back to the stacks ellipses the real stacks.}

Thrive
The Future of Food
Dim Sum... pot stickers; looks a little high; strawberry cream... could be exquisite; what you want!... so what are you?; he knows; what I like in potatoes, I do not desire in carrots... but then, maybe I am looking at it all wrong; eggplant is overrated; maybe, I'll try that; I do not crave tapioca... but I loved it as a child... others are kids... I was a child; I dipped leftover pancakes in Tom Kha Ga, the other day... fantastic!; one taste... three varieties; looks like a death trap... probably is; ah, how to vacation viscerally?... there's a project in there; in the end, something has got to give... for me, it's interior design from head to tail... and most forms of socialization; OK... I am now officially impressed... yeah, those are custard pies done right; and now, it's time to flip... what do you know?... the big finish has suddenly found a spot on the cover... this may just be my new dessert magazine of choice... certainly, from an aesthetic point of view; water first thing... maybe, I'll give it a go; nope; I was expecting chicken... well, I must admit... in a BLT, the tomato is as important as anything else; CBD is not all that... it simply is not; without the sweets, it seems like it would be a very healthy lifestyle; crafted bowl foods... as in, carefully crafted bowls of food; a fig and frosting sandwich... the secret is in the mint... and the frosting; you do not want to know where that nose has been;  ignorance leads to romanticism;

Tikkun
Politics - Culture - Transformation 
One worker... two worker... three worker... not four... the gig's up!; I wish to avoid any time in a Nursing Home... certainly, at this remove, I'd prefer dying... we'll see how it goes; tax capital... not effort... that is to say, labor; why do I not care?... no bullet points... I think that sums it up... I'm not going to read all of it... so, it turns out, I'm reading almost none of it; I found a coin today... I will look at it later... either a chip for a free drink from a casino... or an AA Token... but I'm pretty sure it's the former... I sort of kicked it to the side for later... so, I really do not know; money is not the problem... it is a tool... the problem is thst those who use money (i.e. all of us) have no honor; it's a nice picture... more pictures, please... and shorter articles; precious few advertisements... I like the shorter format of <i>The Sun</i> better... or in a pinch, <i>Commentary</i>;

Tin House
Pink freckles... pink hair... as Reality crumbles around her; sorry, from beginning to end, I do not care about other people's fiction... the Reader/Writer relation is not based on a quid pro quo; thst said, I like the physical feel, how the book (way more than a magazine) feels in my hand;

Trail Runner
Water, I guess... first guess would have been a life vest... yeah, I can't help but to think about scraped knees... dirt, but no blood... she's doing well; bonking?... it's a mystery; what is the need for the difference?; still don't like tattoos... this one flat out looks like dirt... don't tell me it is... I won't believe it... two full arm sleeves show a willingness to destroy... sorry, can't think of a better word at the moment... desecrate?; would I be treated as a spy?; Hardrock!... MF!; all taped up and nowhere to go; I never want to have tape my ankle... I mean, that's a taped up ankle; destination Marathons!; solid reportage... impressive... a home run, my friends; and then, I don't care; still, 1-8, let me sing your praises; I want the gear... the ads are working... I'm no runner... but that doesn't mean my walking would not be improved by a better (and dryer) fit; as little as one workout and week might be enough;

{Rain is expected. So, guess which stack I am reading from?}

Best of Personality Parade
The Rock rocks!; on behalf of Dollar Tree, Inc... I wonder if this cost $1... cover says $4.99... pricey for 48 pages; are these my Fake Friends?... friendship... companionship... some level of human contact must be the itch that is being scratched... sorry, if most of it itches me the wrong way; under the hood; is the desire to personalize them?... make them seem human?... relatable?; a stage?... please... it's a Photo-Op; 28 seasons and going strong; looks like a pirate... I mo longer wish to look like a pirate; I need to get on with my day... I often flip faster as I near the end; once awards are politicized, they lose their original meaning... they really are just marks of popularity... popularity within some given genre or venue;

{Guess what information this note is intended to convey?}

Trailer Life
I want it to be lower class... instead, we have prize winning poodles... and brick heater stands; silly... I doubt they'll make a second one... a fact, which justifies the price of the first; when No Security is your goal; I suppose if it breaks, most replace it (whatever it is) with the best... 'Well, that ain't gonna break again.'; looks cool; aftermarket rear view cameras... nice; Cassidy's in trouble; I wonder home much a person saves owning an RV?... a fair comparison might be two days camping for every day in a hotel... though, I really want a computer... so it's more complicated than that... and then, this is getting tapped out on a phone... so, folks adapt; that I don't need to see... although, at random ellipses; two push-outs... interesting; I think I'd go with the Suburban Truck option... one interior space... including cab... park-able most everywhere; I want one; yeah, I'd push it outside... I've been toying with a CAD project... maybe tricking out a truck is the way to go; only four?... I would have guessed five... either way, there's room for more; I will make you cry; sales is where the real money is at... own the market and ellipses... well, you'll own the market; ha!... yes!... guessed it!... they are the publisher;

Trains
THE magazine of railroading 
And NOT that other one!; 8102... I was going to pick the issue by engine number... but no particular number stuck out; can I convert my phone to a radio receiver?; walking is cheaper... heck, anything is cheaper; current concerns; I thoroughly enjoyed all three(?) of my Amtrak sleeping room experiences; they need more trains, then... or cars... or raise the frickin' price; beautiful... maybe I'll CAD a train... clearly, there is desire... but not enough time for everything; 7... the steam locomotive emerging from mist (or in this case, smoke) has to be the quintessential image of the era; that's the trail to hike... well, parts of it; shall I records the numbers?... um, no; it's cool stuff; there are plenty of Old Time Railroads to ride; I don't know if it's a great picture or not... I guess that means it is; can you feel the excitement?;

Travel & Leisure 
Cabelleros!... wet seat cowboys; suspiciously Similar Signatures!; I'd have locals take the pictures... or hire a local photographer; does it ruin the landscape?..  or make the view?; Luddite is the wrong word... Culturally Conservative, maybe; it does seem stupid... I mean, I like crowds... but we sure do seem to be drawn to some stupid stuff; and yet, it's missing something; and yet, he has a camera in his hand... ah, a mint julep... that's why he's not making any sense... Silly Goose!;   nice pointers; yeah, or boat... some sort of CAD, design, or whatever is clearly in the works... of course, a castle or dungeon might be the final winner; steel masts;

Traveler
Conde Nast
White Stairs... but it comes off as some sort of segmented image filter, to me; I signal by not having a watch; lose it... all of it; the ads are front loaded... and so, my comments are front loaded; a wholly owned subsidiary?; Pop-up Stores do not have an cache with me; I think I would be happy climbing that peak... two of them... well, two out of three; the cheery is ultr-cool... I'd pay a quarter to eat one of those; another captivating image... woman, take a letter; it's usually a cattle call; two is a trend, apparently; the chicken is compelling... even if it looks dry; looks like a way of giving me less; to show off your hotel, you show me a painting?; fire on the water... perhaos, I should be starting My Icelandic Project... a Virtual Trip; the most insignificant part; I call this drink The Iceberg; I no longer wish to drink... tell me interferes with dreams and I may well never drink again... certainly, if the choice is between the two, I choose dreams; and then, there was this dream I had ellipses;

Treasures
Vintage to Modern Collecting
White Pots; there's a certain lack of caring... on my part; and now, my indifference to future issues is complete;

triathlete 
Vaguely familiar... name that shore-break; way too crowded for me; goal or accomplishment... past or present; what separates the professional from the amatuer?; since I don't know the real, I don't get the joke; the race is not won on the water; I wonder what the split on body positivity is... for every viewer gained, how many are lost?; too much ramp up time, that's why... it's a long road to get there... and once there, you're not going anywhere;

tricycle 
I choose the issue based on the cover... or if none calls to me, the latest... this one goes back a year... even Nasty Women need The Buddha; I have no sympathy... outsiders are outsiders for a reason... think of all the other groups thst have been able to assimilate... and why?; until you know you are wrong, you cannot be right; you will die... deal... it doesn't matter if you reframe it... you will still be dead; notice how what is written does not matter... it is given no notice; for a religion centered on Now, Buddhism puts to much emphasis on The Past; ha!... so wrong... or spot on... I mean, we attempt... sure... but all fail, in the end; losing interest... getting hungry;  the world is full of abuse... money is abuse... work is abuse... get outraged at a small section of it to your heart's content... in the library, a man conducts his business, hosting a conference call for all to hear... how delightful... how transgressive... how abusive of the public space; all is sin... to put food in your own mouth, you must take it from another... zero sum... or is it... likely, it is... all can only be all, once; Zen Studies... classic... clearly, my understanding is not as per others; I tire of mangled poetic structure... is... this sentence... better... for being... broken... apart... ?; is it?;

Tropical Fish
Red Sea... Gild Fish... living the Reef Life;  strong teeth... smooth glass; shrimp sound boring; hunters smile; still fish are not so interesting ellipses... seeing as how I am used to the swimming variety... I've seen lots of aquariums,  in my time... as, I assume, have you; nice pictures... I just couldn't care... and oddly, would like more advertisements... they let me know the hobbyist's concerns and latest technology;

Tuft's Health & Nutrition Newsletter 
Your Guide to Living Healthier Longer
<i>The Heart of Dark Chocolate</i>; exercising is good for you... almost awalys, more is better; what is treacle?; sweets & Soda is where the sugar is coming from; Dutch  Process has lower flavanol concentration... even if it tastes better... I wonder if that is why... or maybe, I just like the darker color; start with yes or no... explain from there;

{Ironically, this next was out of order in the stacks.}

Wellness Letter
University of California, Berkeley
News and expert advice from the School of Public Health
Move!... I guess, the government just released new standards; you will die... trust me on this... more importantly, at the time, you probably won't care; exotic seed butters could be fun... the seeds (dry roasted and salted), as well; I'm thinking it's linked to a firm handshake, if you know what I mean; common sense... use it;

Uncut
But seriously, which one is Pink?... also, I think a lack of a plan is the norm... first step, make some noise... second step, eh,  we'll figure it out when we get there; lots of pound signs... Toto, I think this is a British Rag; singing or acting sounds compelling, at times... but I really spend too much time writing for much of anything else to emerge; see?... it could be fun; I think I'm going to collect a few band names... starting with The Seeds; that's a lot of albums... for someone I've never heard of; it's hard to sell music in a print medium; boxed sets are big; I was not expecting the monsters (The Big Names) to be front and center... hey, I can play at being a music snob; I was expecting more musical listening inspiration... I got it all in the first eleven pages... what shut it down?; flipping through a second time to answer... maybe, need to really read this one ellipses;

Under The Radar
Frosted Square Lipstick... a study in pink; sell me some music... pleas; or give me some music... free is good; more of what I expected from Uncut; though, nothing I want to listen to ellipses... yet; ah, my mind is turning off... or switching gears... comments are being left unsaid... so, rewind; the change is nice; mean Girls; there, we are now... all caught up... even if I should, probably, say that the change is between crowds and solitude... others and self; much like Uncut, I feel the words are crucial to sell the sound... no one's look really matters;  there it is!... the Existential Dilemma!; ask him musical questions... help him sell; of the last two, I don't know which I like better... two groups from Uncut... none from UTR... perhaps, that says it all; but then, this is the fifth magazine of the day and I am done... luck of the draw, baby... luck of the draw;
 
Utne Reader
Cure Ignorance 
The new plantation... featuring the sound track of my life; Mine!... also, I need a better How To Guide; PFA... better than a restraining order; because he's a judge... well, maybe not... but not the lack of a reported conviction; I blame Social Media... and idiots... so, users of Social Media; crushed It!; power does as it pleases; good stats... I don't have anything witty to add; community... it's hard to build from scratch; got to have a hobby; first place!... in your face... it's like music to my ears... a bit of Lyric Poetry; I have little desire to read print blogs; the struggle is real; is it PR... well, it's obviously PR... but is it organic or paid for... aldo, what percent of Utne readers are writers... seems like a writers forum;

VegNews
Mac & Cheese not a Burger... sounds inspired... looks interesting... I doubt I would find it tasty; I really am a carnivore... I don't add meat... I build my meals around meat; it might be more effective to lose the patty, completely; pretty pricey; PR at work; so, just like that, but with steak; traditional snacks and historic foods lack 'innovation', comments on wry onlooker; lots of ink; mushroom Jerky... could be interesting; strange the tricks played on one's eyes; $600/day... I would have guessed a lot closer to $1,000 prior to doing the math; it looks sparse... also, views are not people; closing with a rather prim and proper interpretation of a classically messy desert food... the s'more.... eaten outside for a reason;

Victoria 
Decorating - Enterprising Women - Travelling - Entertaining 
Bliss?... oddly, I want nothing to do with that ribbon, now... tie a purple ribbon 'round the new tulip bloom; highly shuttered; accepting... perhaps, my mind is shutting down; it's just not calling to me; most poor folks won't work if they are given a minimum income for free... not related at all... unrelated conversation in the background... and my mind wanders; nothing to see here... move along; the last word was the first word I read;

Videomaker
Your Guide To Creating And Publishing Great Video
The a6400 looks interesting; 5 to 1; no temporal limits... at a hefty price tag; maybe I should get a body-cam; MTV Was Great!... was; green Screen!... it has possibilities; pizza!... !; from beginning to end... seems like they are covering the creative space; took them long enough... inappropriate content?... on the Internet?... are you sure?; EOS... next issue... double feature... as I wanted to check out this camera, as well; build the brand; flawed... do you need to read more?; self financed... and/or revenue guarantees; the controls will tighten... and the Cool Kids will go elsewhere; I'm definitely not hip to the slang; final verdict, I'll stay with pictures m, for now... they are secondary to my words, anyhow;

Vogue Knitting
Big Red; cool pattern; and then, not so much; nothing more (or less) than I was expecting... well, that one pattern was pretty cool... so, that, probably, exceeded my expectations; it was a very fast flip through;

Washington Monthly
Now, quarterly... with four nascent intelligences on the cover... sorry, five... sorry to overlook the laptop like that;  he's got 30-35% in the bag... it's an indication of how divided the country truly is; it's a good idea... I don't believe it is going anywhere; I don't want government deciding much of anything; these are good essays... I question how important, however... and unlikely what I would read in the wild; Op-Ed Pieces; just not interested... boycott Him!; good luck fighting censorship... in many ways, if it's not on the front covrr, it might as well not exist... so, how does one regulate popularity?; and now, it just feels like we are trying to sell a few select books... sell Ideas... then, sell books... it makes a sort of sense;

Washingtonian 
The Best of Hearts formed out of Pink Flowers; how or why did I get over alcohol?... for the most, I just put it away; let me make love to your nose; talk about phoning it in; also, obscenity laws are usually applied most idiotically; two years?... wow!... that is a long time; who's Who?; a Culture Safari; are the squirrels compelling marketers?... if so, to who?; being a growth area is likely more important... it's not their employees so much, as everyone else's; I didn't find a room while attending UC Berkeley... it cost too much... which means those charging less are looking for perks... and not so much for a Socially Anxious Wallflower;  cayenne pepper sucks... I like heat... but not thst heat; I doubt that's the case; wall to wall advertising... by the numbers; maybe I'm being a bit too cynical... let's try to lighten up... after all, rejection of an ad does not mean I did not like that ad; still, some stats are just silly; he does not look friendly; what do I want to eat?; yes! Yes!... feel the hype!; the utter stupidity does make it difficult to stay positive... Photo At Random!... Art!; there are many a reason why folks choose to live alone; it's not the number of websites (or in my case, web pages), it's the number of views;

Well Being Journal
Gads, what a tag line... is that the tag line?... carrots!... I count fourteen of them...  it would be ironic if I were wrong; even things I care about (eye health) seem boring... Right!... more Carrots!... back to that, are we?; if good things happen, things will get better; cool hands... I deem it Art... the Art of Art; mind (not over, but) makes matter; sure. Sure... such, um, malarkey... I mean, go for it... but I'm not paying for it... and with that one line of text, all respect for the publication evaporates... I mean, the word Journal in the name fooled me; and to think, I almost made it to the end without realize their Delusional Thinking Game... though, both delusion and illusion are in the eyes of the beholder... so, I am sure it is I who they think is caught in The Game; in retrospect, I should have read the tagline... too long... didn't bother... until just now;

Wheels of Time
Big Orange!... looks like a lumber truck to me... empty, of course; fun for the entire family; oh, I am looking forward to the all-wood lumber truck; what purpose does a Challenge Coin serve?; I've been on that stretch of highway... happily, after the safety upgrades; Heavy Haul!... clearly, I like the jargon; near death experiences; minimal Cab; Reconstructive Science; now, that's a resperator!... also, very Black Lagoon-ish; models!... the all-wood truck was a model... fooled me... I thought it was fullsize, for sure; convention information; and now, sales; and that's why you want to belong to a club... to facilitate that trade;

Where to Retire
Boring... yeah, it's a boring cover... two chairs, a table, and a potted scrub-plant... but it's just background for the Big 5-0; they sort of jump out at you; non-fashion... the absence of elegance... fine, I'm basically a negative person... and I'm just on the third page; finally, time to sit and do nothing... Yoga!; well, OK... if it lives up to the promise; I wonder if I should think of Registered Trademarks more as Word Phrase Leases that the government has sold to make money?; lots more of the same... but I'm not shopping;

Wine & Spirits
A nice big pour... even if it looks more like a dark beer to me; Wine is worth the same price as grape, cranberry, or orange juice, to me... even a dollar a bottle for soda seems a bit pricey, to me... and that seems like a bit of repetitive qualification, you know, to me; oh, a wine ad, I'll skip that... so, self, you're going to skip the entire magazine; three Atmospheres?... gotcha;  for those afraid to leave the herd; I want to sketch a bottle... so, yes... I am bored; syntho-Wine... status?; fine, let's read a review; total vintage, $8,400... next on the list, $80,000... bottles x Price; 41?... it's the Boomtown for wine... I hope Gordon is satisfied... so, that was three references in a row... four if you count the double-up at the start; I dream about, think about, see the appeal in having a well stocked bar at home... a wind cellar?... sure, but I'd store whiskey in it;

{Gads, another Wine Magazine. I'm going to have to split these up, lest my brain flat-line. Oh, hey. So, I'm guessing an amazingly positive review lays ahead.}

Wine Maker
Creating Your Own Great Wine
Not Champagne!... Poser!... Upstart!... ha! It's a faker's guide; does that mean I can use white sugar as my base?; sounds career oriented; I would really need to see a demonstration... the advantage over text or tabular data is not immediately clear to me; seems pricey... doesn't even include the grapes;  that reminds me... I have blueberries waiting for me... um, no I don't... oh, yes I do... a new package... but I'm going to hit the cherries, instead... cherries & Ribs!; faults are flaws... only more extreme... jargon, baby; what happens to the waste?... I mean, that's a lot of spillage; we got your local store listing right here; some things do not last;

{This last was better. But the next Wine entry must wait for another day. And yeah, I liked the hobby version better. Though, I could, probably, scavenge a story idea, ploy point, or something from the endless descriptions... even if a Music Mag could likely do it better.}

Wine Spectator
Where every wine is above average... it's on a 100 Point Scale... From 90.0 to 100.0... soon (no doubt), they'll be adding ++ at the end... so, your precious 99.8++ actually means something... also, Chardonnay!; buy it by the barrel?; seriously, open the mag, already; if I had my own branded wine ellipses... a dragon... No, The Dragon... holding a pitchfork, appetizer stick, spearing three little people, newly burnt, clothes cindering afire... a dark red burgandy... or Ice Vine!... I love that Ice Vine; glass free venues (I would wager) are the driving force; making toast look good; why grow, when you can produce?... why consume, when you can snark?; so worthless... a score... nothing more; I'm assuming he paid for the spotlight... so, how much did he pay?; OK... I want to know the story on the fur... idiot ellipses or role player?; a grapefruit cocktail... the first beverage I've craved... sans-vodka, of course; the bass looks good... the value added pesto and salsa looks just like that... trying hard to add value... so, it turns out, I want seared herbs; notice the refection in the spoon?... I did; just no... though, turn it into K'fr and I, most definitely, want to write about it... so much so, I completely drifted off into thought; I wonder how I would order if I wanted... and does the price take such logistics into account?; let's end on a dry (looking) note; sorry, false note... the back page is worth falling into... deconstructing;

{In a bit of serendipity, I acquired a free copy of the next magazine in line, so I may read it at my leisure.}

Wired
Lips... this relevance is lost on me; I can't help making notes, because I can't help having an emotional reaction... it's a watch ad... he's staring into the distance... and he's anything but a visionary to me; plan for failure; you may be smart... but the ads that we serve you assume otherwise... note taken... this is not a rag for intelligentsia... despite any publisher desires to the contrary; well, I liked the article... and I almost feel like I learned something... which is nice, as I've never used the app; dig... joke... wrong; proof we've jumped the shark... up and comers... been there, done that... curiosly, missing thst right now, I'm thinking; ironically, the Real World is worse; to be convincing, I think we would have to diff the real faces versus the fake ones... I agree they look good... but do they look good because they are only slightly altered copies?; he wears a leather jacket at his desk?... how unbelievably cool is that; silly; solid ads;  I'm not here for a history lesson... big skip; a search warrant term is 'evidence of wealth'... seems, um, meaningless went brought to bear against a rich person; having slept in the interim, my first thought... I don't want to start my day with that article; much more than my usual breeze through... I am reading this one; eh, in the end, it doesn't make a difference... I will start with it... pushing everything else I had planned out further; we're back; I don't care for fact based reporting... I want analysis... lots of trivial fluff in those lead stories;

Womankind
Posterized 70s Afro Power... covering up the feminine mystique with blue eye shadow; nice book leafs!... screams quality... too bad it's entirely possible I'm the first reader; almost like <i>Heavy Metal</i> covers; embrace death; my father died an alcoholic... he was a good father... I have no idea when he started... could have been his entire adult life; another tragedy I do not care about... history is full of them; in search of heroines; I do not care for book references... they should be sparse... or as Kevin Stillwater has famously quiped, 'Oh, you're going to quote me. What do you want me to say?'; think Positive!... Dream Big!; why are we pushing Hemingway?... he does seem like a particularly feminist writer; funny... it's not supposed to be; it has the feel of a high quality rag... I don't trust the sincerity of the Hemingway plugs;

Woman's World 
God Bless America
It's like a word graph... text everywhere... words wrapping sound the outline of a doctor... so, you know he's not a sell out... you could make a cover look more low class... Big Foot would add cache; not sure what's up with the hand... maybe trying to figure out where the plastic surgery scars begin and end; lots of content... I'll give them that; kitty knows best; do your readers need to lose 100+ LBS?; a true crusader; the trick is to use honking big pieces of lean meat; may the advertising begin; Poi... the answer is poi... best to stop while I'm ahead... also, poi goes with sashimi... so, it's hardly the answer... oh, well; ha!... but I got the order right; the correct answer was RAW... I got BAT, though... what a DRAG; the 16th is The Day... I can feel it; cash Money... er, check that is; far better than I expected going in... almost redemptive... almost;

woman's Running
Smile... blue... excuse me if I am preoccupied... weird day... hair barret... I'm going to guess a city College track... it's blurry; shoes are looking softer... more cushiony; are sunscreens poisonous?; not much to Coney Island from this view... wide beach... Santa Cruz looks more intense... but I've only seen it from the ground; that aesthetic is featuring in my current book... will I finish this novel?; grilled cheese (sans-serif bread) is coming onto fashion; repeat picture... I feel cheated; I don't want a water vest... I soaked my shirt (but good) before coming out on this 90+ degree day; stretch 'em out; a very long training plan... the progression is only in the long runs; my first guess was facial...  not smoothie; Girls Run the World!... it's a great end; um, that's not what that look says;

Wood
The World's Leading Woodworking Resource
A mammoth end of bed chest has been an item of desire for me... slow shut hinges... pure cedar... way too big to move by myself ellipses... via car; fun thumb drive... but is it made of wood?... my guess, plastic; fun projects; I do want to do a layout... lately the van in the story... mentioned, last magazine; plywood warps... don't let it; all sorts of clever solutions; I don't want a wood barbecue; and the Mortar & Pestle should be made of stone;

Wooden Boat
The Magazine for Wooden Boat Owners, Builders, and Designers
I don't know what that type of flat nail is called; radio protocol; it looks cool to me; yeah, still distracted... mind only half here; a Viking longboat comes to mind; beatnik Boater!; it's a career; I find the story the shipping container tells to be compelling... well, compelling might be a bit of an exaggeration... but the right word does not come to mind; paints and stains are solid sponsors; I want a tug boat; I never considered the employment... lots of folks at work; ha, I've got no desire to CAD a boat... layout a tug?... maybe... design the hull?... not a chance; losing interest; the inevitable classifieds; done;

Woodsmith
Tools I don't know the name of... not even the saw... all in pursuit of the perfect Box Joint... or a some sort of Box Joint, at least; I don't want these things... and I most certainly don't want to make them myself; a starter project... or excuse to make the jig; more tool construction; it does look sweet; so, projects while you decide your next project; it's called a Back Saw.... the other, a Coping Saw; and you thought you knew all there was to know about a simple Rotary Saw Blade;

woodturning
The World's Leading Magazine For Woodturners
Looks like the bottom of a blue plate; it all starts with a lathe; the magazine comes with a warning label; I did not escape the whirligigs;  precision work; translucent bowls are the best; I was contracted to make a rolling pin, once... I did not deliver; an action shot... and the wood chips fly!; the nuances are lost on me; hollowed out from the bottom up... clever... also, missed that the first time around; they are big on hollowing things... I guess that's the big trick; nice work; pens?... peppermills?... what do you want to make?; it's not how I intend to leave my mark; bowl not a plate... on the cover; I think I would have preferred two layers of stain; this is your hobby shop; probably could do it in an apartment... if you wanted to;

{I have been doing this so long, new magazines have appeared on the shelves. Or at least, I believe this magazine is new to me. I wonder what my most unintentionally repeated magazine will be.}

Linux Format
Kali on the DVD... light bulbs on the cover; the smart answer is Family & Friends; the FOG Project and/or Clonezolla may be the highpoints of my browsing experience; temporary data in the cloud... yay!; going in, I feel like this will be a good magazine to stay on top of; Not Dilbert; it might just be the first few pages that are important... I only need the one distro; clonezilla, it is; maybe, I'll listen to her talk... I'll have to carve out some time away from my Prison Life Orientation videos; Arch Linux... the distro of choice; I find comfort in the hits... audacity!... I know that!; LibreOffice Draw... Hmmm... is this my CAD solution?; the program overview section is highly helpful... sometimes, you just don't know what you are looking for; too much screen time for him;

{Where to next?}

{Back to the stacks.}

Working Mother
Multicultural Empire... in Plaid!; Success!; if it were equal... women would be making even less... which is to say, I don't believe the stats... never have, never will; mommy Problems... so, truth in advertising; is your caffeine being cut by gratuitous sugar?; being underpaid... fixed that for you... she may be all those other things... but underpaid, as well... don't want to forget that; progress!... just not an issue (from cover to cover, it would appear) that I care about; yoga to the rescue!; I like those funny parting shots... and some of these were funny;

World
The Axis of Summer Reading... I've got my water-wings... he's going to get sunburned; Fight like a Christian... fight Dirty and win like the Heretic you are; by the numbers; all the ads are religious based... or at least, seem to be to me; funny stuff... I guess I agree with that political cartoon; 'I feel so violated.'... 'They cleaned ellipses everything.'; silly new mixed in with the serious stuff; I thought briefly about getting a Masters in Public Administration... briefly... eh, there's still a pang of desire, there; books to free your soul; women by the truckload; spray painting a gravestone is a bizarrely stupid way to relenquish ten years of your life to state sponsored re-education; current events is not my thing; break The System by embracing The System... Hug it 'till it Hurts!; I'll bet on a steady increase in wagering; modelling behavior... how to fight the good fight; all on all, let us just say ellipses... a different point of view;

World Explorer
He shouldn't have a gun... she should gave more clothes... and, wait!... what happened to his foot?; first issue in the library... first reader... if I had to guess; skinny ankles; I like megaliths; he never returned... sorry, my mistake... the bead let him go two days later; I don't believe it... not at all... as stated, anyhow; saucy!;  two good readons for peace... 'Mom said, "Lights out at eight."'; good riddance... about sums up my point of view; does he die, too?; the obelisk, horizontal, still in the quarry is quite interesting; what does he see?... adventure?... who knows?... well, those who read the story might know; Fool!; one wonders if those cabbages are real ellipses ... or the photos faked?; wonderful classifieds... I like the outrageous ads... and the comic book outtake juxtaposition; and all the books you've come to love; I'd be happy to peruse that magazine, as well;

World Soccer 
Review!... The Best!... The Worst!; crap paper; right there... the owner?... less important than the Water Boy; cold, shirtless, and drunk... how can I explain the appeal... a Real Man's Drunk!; well, it's just not my magazine... at least Body Building is about the self; what to do tonight?... I find that question more important; on the other hand, the total un-importance of the activity has me amused; shaving Cream!; Team Highlights!; those riot shields make it real clear which side they are on; a little help... and why is the first column always the same?; way too many tattoos... I mean, you're making it way too easy to feel superior;

World War II
A one-man almost sub... in other words, a good way to die; 1/12th scale would be GI Joe size, right?; just saying; traitor!; military History is our game; a loss in my book; it's called a dead body, young man... look at it... longer; F! the Kennedys!... F! the Rich!... if you're even close to being rich, you haven't given enough back... it begs the question on how to give back; of course, what really caught my eye was the way the sandbags were stacked; it turns out, suicide attacks are not that effective; let's go back to that rich concept... I should probably start having contempt for myself... F! the Middle Class!... F! Everyone!; I loved that style of postcard as a child; the inaccuracy contest is inspired... thumbs up; I need to try on my boots ellipses... and see if they fit;

Worth
One of these days... to the moon; you think far more highly of you self than I do; I doubt most readers are that wealthy... yeah, I'll avoid the term rich for awhile; thick paper; nope; got to conserve that cash... the robots are coming; now, those are scallops; I just don't respect it; the thickness of the paper is the most impressive thing so far; a worthless list... followed by an even more worthless one; I'm sort of the opposite of impressed; I might be going to the Ren Faire, next weekend... just saying... the jury is still out on the night... or how to be a Good Person; I'm more jealous of successful writers;

The Writer
Imagine - Write - Publish
Tips for anonymity... the nuclear family... less mom; I'd rather have the moral... I mean, if you can break it out like that; you write for work... turns out, I worked so I can write; I would like to sell... but not at the cost of switching course or changing my vision; my memoir is fiction... the other on us on the back burner until more folks die... possibly mysrlf; not looking for advice, fellas... rather, ideas; I'm sick of the word 'Passion'... I'm Passionately Anti-Passion; I spent more time than I thought I would with the publishers list... How to Get Published Without Trying... that's what I'm looking for;

Writer's Digest
The Science of Writing... try these Big Ideas; who owns the meme?; get with the flow... let the mind go... aimlessly turning the pages... expecting nothing... less than nothing; I want an agent who wants to sell what I write... period... end of story... also, terms written to my benefit; money... it might be better to write for fun... and plan on Winning the Lottery... rather than a Big Book Sale; pretty much a total I Don't Care;

Yachting 
It's always sunset... if you use the right filters, Leon; skeet!... a pair of swimmers jumping into the water... my first thought... Fire at Will!... Pull!... well, maybe not my first thought; I just want it to tell time; I'm daydreaming... I need/want a new Library Project; a yacht that needs a crew is too big; I like that "Island"; the boat is the least of it... it's like being into travel... and selecting destinations based on the hotel rooms; Sales!... Sales!... Sales!; the end note is a harder (more artsy) read than I would have expected;

Yankee
New England Magazine
The umbrella does nor seem to offer much shade... but at least, the beach accessories are color coordinated; Wood fired stoves are nice; what do horses get out of people?; a wonderful plug... what doesn't belong in this list of Whale Trivia; I like salami; it probably was a mistake to start this magazine, today; flipping... not thinking... suddenly, I have other things on my mind; I've been done with magazines, before... it is what it is... a regional travel magazine... of a region I don't care about;

yes!
Soil by any other name... earthworms included; mud is an interesting thing... and covers the nickname of many a raw product; too much lettuce; Fortnightly Feasts!... I definitely like the name; I don't know which one, but the elbow tattoo is a gang sign... or so, I believe... so, prison time?; I like stat pages; I specialize in helping people unlike you... would you like to help?; party!; another art project I don't care about... it's OK... do you care about this project of mine?... or in other words, if it weren't on display, would you still bother to do?;  and that's how you become a supremist; the donors list... I will not be one; a tiny percentage does not hoard... they control... wealth is power ellipses... to decide how others spend their lives... what jobs are available; zombies have their appeal... while the appeal of his essay ended halfway through; ha! Ha!... Go Patriarchy!; I was going to say 'Will not seek out, again.'... but I like the stats;

yoga journal
Messy bun... that's what it's called... 88 Swirling Arm Poses that Heal; do I wish to write my comments?... the project drags on; I was right about the non-caps magazine name; how many teachers does the world need?; undisciplined is another word for it; 400+ teachers, it turns out... well, how many this teacher taught; buy it... but work at a restaurant if you need a skillet; if nobody is special...  everyone is; xylitol works; adding the MD is how you earn jail time;  I like the mask effect; Help!; a chemical patch seems so Un-Yoga... it's right up there with a yoga mat; it seems like the same model is being used alot; also known as, sitting; expert Breather;

Z Magazine 
Crappy covers... hard to read... protestors... global warming or something; Un-Impressed; pricey Prices!; crap layout... come on!... don't split a head ellipsis... line; lots of stock photos; yep, I agree... something seems immenent; so, will this be the shortest entry?... even after this extra padding?;

{And thus ends the first series of stacks. Observant readers may note the omission of their favorite reads. I haven't started on the popular ones, yet. And I don't even know if that is next.}

{There are not that many magazines in the Business Section. I think I'll pound yhose out, next.}

Bloomberg Businessweek
Are we going to war over online content?... the six majors gear up; I would not have guessed; and I guess, that doesn't count as entrepreneurship, to me; so far, I've heard the song once; time to exit chemicals; those are huge sums of money; I'd be happy to never hear from him again... or see his face... you are fools to venerate him; lots of info... I'm thinking this could be a reoccurring read... but there's not much to say... facts be facts; bad news is good news... things are tight all over; small price to pay; and why are you giving him a microphone?... ah, because money talks... odd, considering my best find today was a list of free stuff; a strong start... not so much, on the finish;

Chicago
Strawberries & Cream... or at least, that's what I call that particular style of ice cream treat; drag him kicking and screaming; medicine; up-selling crap; I'm guessing he paid for that praise... one way or another; Illinois exports abortions... who would have known?; boys do not hit their prime until much later; have I mentioned in passing how alcohol is not my thing?; I want my own table; there is nothing revolutionary about Mac 'n Cheese; I want that meat... I'm not sold on the rest of the dish... but I want that meat; I don't want your advice... and then, I flip back the pages so I can read every single one; I'd find the Mercedes compelling, as well; I'm going to call it advertising; I care about mine, not yours... sorry about that; two lead story passes; if death is the appeal... for me, it has no appeal; who?... and yet, I have no desire to get out more;

Living Lutheran
Carry that cross ellipses... brace Boy!; oh, right... not in the ordered review... a random find; I no longer feel guilt... well, not the guilt of privalige; incremental advance... I'm sure there's a moral, there; when all you have is a candle, you only see the darkness around you... eh, hammer, nail... but naybe, it came out wrong; I fail to care about Christ or The Church... give me the Moral Good... tirelessly delivered... which is to say, Sacrifice Yourself for Others... else, all is for naught... I'm not seeing that, here... in truth, I'm not seeing anything to care about; works are all that matter... I'm definitely in the camp if Works over Faith... though let us understand, Works cannot be bought... merely worked, One Day at a Time; I might be able to finish the crossword... might; sorry, the part is not greater than the whole... though, I will grant, often enough (qualify, qualify), the part is the whole... and the whole is whole in the part... please feel free to draw diagrams as needed;

Santa Clara Magazine
Touch Down!... though, where's the splash?; a random find... out of order, but of course... and after having two back-to-back like that, a comment is beginning to feel like it would make the most sense... still, that's the new policy... even if I need to reign in the words ellipses; women can code... if they bother to learn... it's that bothering get part that is key; how can I automate that graphic?... I doubt that I can; their graphics are good... a wide variety of styles... or clusters, at least; yeah, I'm impressed by the visual styling; I need to explore G'MIC more; sorry, uploading the soul ain't ever going to happen; graphically, I consider the little figures to be cheating; I have questions... now ask youself, do you care?... or is that another question you will not be bothering to ask?; the graphics shine... and the thick real-paper feel adds to it all; the magazine did a good job of selling the magazine to me... yeah, as I started this project, I wanted to avoid closing sentence value statements... but there you are; but let's close with something better... Ethics is a meaningless concept... how do reward Good?... How do we disincentivize Evil?... should is meaningless... honor & Disgrace are not;

Entrepreneur 
You'll have to earn my respect anew, Mr Basketball Player; it doesn't say much for the pizza... each piece, way smaller than your hand... yay!; another sports guy... yep, I've got a chip on my shoulder; first, be famous... second, leverage fame... OK... I'm going to need a different first step; eyeballs... quality or quantity... now or then... smart or stupid; it's not what I consider Feast Food... not even close; I believe they paid for the spot; shall we sell family?... community?... belonging?; sounds pretty subjective; a full page ad... OK... payment confirmed; shall I go to a convention?... either way, I should get my attitude adjusted... or not;

Forbes
He sells shoes?... OK; peddling sex might be sexist... go figure; the advantages of great wealth run deep; I want a listing of the toys; sports... with continue with the listings of big money; filler... or self promotion; if you only say what others want to hear, have you said anything worth hearing; but I'll take it; I'm losing interest... it's the same story of wealth... bit no one knows how to find it; it's changed... there used to be stock pick columns... I just read this as one giant wouldn't it be nice to be rich... though, to be fair, I stopped reading pretty quickly... not a single market survey... what gsppened?; I used to read this to get stock picks... I wonder if the majority of companies covered are even investable; such a disappointment;

Fortune
500... the big issue; maybe, I tire of the project, wanting to read more and comment less... also, I'm not looking forward to editing this morass; 996; the end of The Net is coming... best get while the getting is good; longish ad spread; there's the stock coverage; I don't care... hey, let's be fair... business is not my thing; drone ships... direct hit!; I expect the company to be taken over; from a leader centric point of view, it's always the leaders fault... or praise; done before I hit the listings; I don't know what the vertexes of this graph indicate... so much randomness... because, graphs; still, a solid hunk of data... I guess, as I comment less as I go, I feel more need for an end comment... final analysi... or then, perhaps the project t has shifted, slightly... certainly the content of the magazines have... business, business, and more business;

Kiplinger's
Personal Finance
Money Smart Living
Now, where should I retire?... by a lake? If so, I think I'd need a dock and a pool... oh, and a dog... better get me one of those; and now, I can't remember how that saying goes... something about the sincerest form of flattery; <i>Money</i> sucked; that comes out to roughly $100/each per year... color me unimpressed; and now, I'm looking forward to pg35... but then, that tells you how worthless pg16 was; Merck made it to the Supreme Court, this year; this is more like how I remember <i>Forbes</i>... selections for one's portfolio... maybe this, then?; TXN; nice to see it won... switching nowhere else; I recognize the name... maybe an account there someday... see?... ideas; Savannah sounds nice; I can't say I'm overly impressed with the list; cosigners increase one's credit score... or can... sometimes; actually keep the paperwork?... well, that's one way to do it; top notch... it deserves to best <i>Money</i> out;

Money
Um, what did I just say... stand tall... and carry a large pair of golden scissors; just don't spend it... feel free to pay me for this advice, however; it depends; odd, how I don't remember ever seeing that face before; what's in a number?; to save, one must save... thank you... next?;  I've come to believe the wall is important; no more than half... typically... sometimes more; six pages from beginning to end... content Quest... I read every word; for all my trash talk, that one article redeemed;

Technical Analysis of Stocks & Commodities
Sitting pretty poolside... don't get stung; I'm sure there is some validity to Technical Analysis... but I'm very much a Value Guy; a very nice index... Python goes mainstream... Hey, I know Python; I wonder how many traders code; not arbitrage... the term I am looking for is Hedge; and yhen, nothing happens... and the stocks expire worthless; I do not understand the "sideways" graphs; indeed... signal Processing is what it is;  Michigan Sentiment... I presume it's a survey; Recession Detection... what?... why?... when?... I can see digging deeper; good questions can be better than facts; a stellar article... reminds me of when I was reading Economics; a great square barcode thingie... I don't know what those are called... you're supposed to scan them with a phone and they open some site;

{And that's it for the straight business section. These next few are the magazines in the Business Newspaper Section. I will not be doing newspapers, newsletters, or and such.  Not explicitly.  Not now, on this pass.  Perhaps, never.}

WSJ.
The Wall Street Journal Magazine
A study in the character of style... a silly non-functional room; I like the look of knit jackets; the Three Musketeers!; the Pink Eye Look... impentago?... I seriously do not know how that is spelled; it's hard to respect a sell out; I don't want trendy... I don't want chick... I want a story... or for it to stand on its own; they got puffy... I don't want puffy... sure, those coats look warm... but I want streamlined functionality ellipses... unlike the room on the cover; sleek... I want; split the frame... a simple, nice effect; I've got another issue... shall we go again?; Black on Black Gender Bender; a month old... the pages not even creased... likely never opened... it's hidden away in the Business Section, after all; I like Fashion Magazines... sure, I like girls... but I like the Scenes & Settings, just as well; there you go!...  Pure SF Spartan Command for Unity One; him, again; the dog is going to win... "And then, you're taking me for a walk."; Don't Go!; what I see is the perfect backdrop for a Video Blog; I liked it better when they were just peeking out of the closet; the bookcase is alluring... the Fake Star Trek Nemesis, not so much; if it ain't broke, don't fix it;

{I have stopped working on this project and taken a long break. But winter is coming. I am sure I shall start again, soon enough.}

{I've got those mainline racks to do. And then, a minor rack or two. But I'm not into it at the moment. Besides, I've still got a pile of lesser known outliers to look at. I wonder how many are repeats ellipses or that I don't do even the first time, believing it to be a repeat.}

{Also, I should note, I have a desire to use longer, more complete sentences. After rereading some projects similar to this, I am confronted by how little is carried forward ellipses and on edit, how compelled I feel to rewrite it all as complete sentences. So, I might as well do it right the first time.}

Onward
Charles Schwab
Insights For Clients Invested In Their Financial Futures
Monetary Thought Bubbles... so, what walks?... and I am immediately confronted by why I don't use full sentences for this project; it's a phone... it will change everything; next door... not my problem... I'm petting the cat; everybody produces content; rhyming and alliteration... the art of the successful headline; a sleeping tiger isn't really what I had in mind; looks complicated... spend little... save much... problem solved; I don't do technical analysis; service... a revolutionary concept... ah, and deregulation; remember, this is how savvy they think their typical client is; at the core, I don't trust men in suits... no one puts on a suit for an afternoon at home... it's a lie... it's a costume... it's not who people are... this is why Suit is used derogatory... at the core is a non-person... a Suit;

{I must be tiring of this project. As I start on the main grouping of magazines (most of the big name ones lay directly shead), I have decided to only add magazines to the supplemental stack that have been published in the last few years. Or in other words, I may have already chewed off all that I am willing to eat. That said, I'm sure exceptions will be made.}

allrecipes
Yellow striped... stacked four high... and nary a one I want... but by the look of things, opinions may differ; yeah, I do find advertising to be interesting; but tattoos continue to be stupid; "Activations?"; simple grilled cheese; with sponsors like these ellipses; all about figs... figures... ha!... get it?; sounds like grease, to me; Honey Pecan Pork Chops!... we have a winner!; smashed Potatoe Sliders!; white Girls be so funny;  faint praise; cats are cute... "I'se scratches youse nows"; two novel ideas... not bad;

AD
Architectural Digest
An A-frame is what first comes to mind... but it's inverted... so, call it a V-Step... with open balconies doubling as a possible high dive... yeah, somebody threw something; and the reference alludes me... as the Pop Culture goes swinging on by; I do tend to linger over the watch ads... not that I want... I was in a Thrift Store the other day... the watch bin saw serious action... albeit, by others; not intimate enough... the opposite, in fact; so close, I checked the company name... not the same; not; winning Art; honeycomb  (the actual comb) does nothing for me... it would be like serving sliced banana with the skin still on; the slaves look content; I am not as impressed; I have never been to that part of the park; ha!... I thought it was a bowling ball... I think I would have preferred a bowling ball; gads, such a failure inside; I grant you, they are fun; push!... Splash!... I'll take that!;

{I'm passing on some fairly interesting older magazines. So for the moment, I am holding firm to my cutoff.}

Better Homes & Gardens
Halloween!... from a year ago; gold spray paint makes everything better; candy Eyes!... the world keeps getting g better and better; The Mummy Faces are inspired... I wonder where the idea originated; but the Olive Eyes are a clear miss; cheaters!; I has candles in my fireplace at one time; object costumes seldom do it for me; Kermit style Jack 'o Lantern... lots of pages breezed through, there... an idea is either hit or miss... and by their nature, mostly misses... still, choice is what's required to garner a hit... besides, rather than writing, I was off in daydream land, decorating my childhood home; more gold... less interest;

bon appetit
Three middling chicken sandwiches... sorry, katsu... katsu is inferior to standard fry; I am not importing crap brand names; for moms... by moms; fantasy Fish Food with Fantastical Names; Scissors!... yesh, I'm into exclamation marks, today; wheras, my choice is simply Two Hotdogs; I eat with my fingers... Au naturale; I've never has an egg like that... difficult?... before water bath... tasty?... who knows?; just not what I want to eat; ah, this looks good... are we turning vegetarian by degrees?... Never!... you can have my dead flesh ellipses er, why you cut it out of my cold dead flesh... murderer!; yogurt... nailed It!... and, nope; I like toasted nuts... I guess, they are up and coming; question and answer success... ending with a bang;

Car and Driver
Intelligence - Independence - Irreverence
Finally... a monogrammed engine... framed in red; stuff I don't need... a battery... and a funny ad... I better start writing stuff down; I own shares in that... or something similar; it's easier if one reorganizes their life first... average cost per trip $0... and the train is expensive... but cheaper than parking; maybe, I should mention ellipses... I don't own a car... and I'm seriously considering letting my license expire... walking works for me; the main event... I'm just glossing over; that illustration took me a long time to parse; wow!... more deaths from opiods than cars, these days; nicotine... lots of nicotine ads;

{That last entry might have some errors in it. I wrote the last few entries in some other file. And am just discovering the misplacement hours later. But I think I pasted it all I'm the right spot. Of course, I say that and discover another error right away.}

Chicago
103... enough said; not a bad ad... gets to the point; gads... never; too many; stop, already; the inside scoop; because I need to know; how to photograph auras... I need to know... still; no; and there you have it a nutshell... I'll keep my distance; doctors; verbal Codex... I just need to do; 103?... I haven't found three... I've been sort of holding onto that comment... the count is currently at 1; real estate agents... um, if not for your money, you'd be nothing... end of story;

Chicagoland Gardening
The Magazine For Our Region
Frosted red flowers with purple stamens... I so don't care; the octopus plant is interesting; could make an interesting centerpiece; pretty much as expected... maybe, a little less;

{In other words, let's get this finished.}

CR
Consumer Reports
Digital Eyeballs, I presume; yeah, those numbers seem very much prone to obfuscation; if that's per year, it seems awfully high; come on, guys... your reputation is on stake (er, for sale) with every rating; what happens if we set the heat lower?; I can't see shopping being any harder; not as insightful as I would like... perhaps, that's due to reader disinterest; feeling pretty good about now; taste!... the most important factor... left out... and not covered; so, I'm guessing the hot dogs I had for lunch aren't all that hot, either; I don't care about cars; funnies weren't funny... what a shame;

Cooking Light
And the magazine is mo more... say goodbye to the dream cake... something about having your cake and eating it, too; very green (and muddy) for a desert; I get 3%... so, I'd had to spend $9,500 to break even; so, you piloted it into the ground?; the thicker tomato sauce does look tasty; how does one cook half a bag of something that is cook in bag?... you know, pop half a bag of popcorn?; I like spinach on pizza; grits?... no... no, thanks... serioysly, no; ad free is important to me... is it ad free?... if it were ad free, I'd brag about that... my website for instance is ad free;  the dark chocolate dipped shortbread looks good; Raspberry Oat Bars; and her dream included pizzas with crusts of cardboard; I would have guessed lamb... it looks good; so Fly!; Heavy ginger candied cookies... I'll need to work on the name; such Sh-t!; is that the dream?;

Cook's Country
Chicken Mole is quite literally the best... let's hope they have some; the edges are too sharp... I want more of a flowy feel; good buts of information; artisinal Bacon!; not worth duplicating; good price... but I can't see the food; English Muffins sound interesting; there's my lamb; toasters with viewports... what will they think of next?... and us it patented?; Mustard!... the Taste Off!; not what I want... it just doesn't look good... my mouth isn't watering;

Cook's Illustrated 
Persimmons is my best guess... I count six... no, seven; a Christmas Tradition; I look forward to the Quickies; using them to do what they were meant for; prosecco sounds better... sweeter; Bubbles... countless bubbles; holey Lazagna!; not buying it... in other words, can't sell me on it; I'll just try at the store; put in jar and shake; more Quickies!; the small bits are well written;

Cosmopolitan
TF... how many octaves?... seven?... complete with tiara; belly buttons; it turns out I'm willing to read about him; get your drunk on; OK... if you're going to live on the beach, I'll give you the tattoo; the slang no longer makes any sense; no!... on the literary advice; returning stuff is a hassle; the slang is out of hand... learn it... or leave it; the trick (to not being sold to) is to first not care; like rope... wait a second!... that is rope!; the Sisters!; I'm a bit late for these  Horoscopes; dating... juxtaposed by birth control; yeah, sorry... I don't value your sex advice; obvious... if unrealistic... not everyone can be an influencer; the one page format ain't bad... a total miss doesn't mean that much; I might have been off; that move looks interesting; about her, I don't care... not a word; rehab... the mainstream edition; custom temporary tattoos seem like the permanent way to go;

Eating Well
The Perfect Tomato!; I was hoping it was a new trend... rootables; now, that's a wonderful closeup; I'm in a bit of a hurry... this magazine is unlikely to get a fair shake; apple Grilled Cheese... I will need to do... I've said that before about this very same dish; I want pizza... not flatbread... there is a difference; rose tarts are tasty; looks like dogfood; now, that's a sandwich... and now I've used now too many times ellipses... now; I can't seem to care about the main events; the future is going to pass me by; I'm going to die not caring about that;

Ellen Decor
Through enough crap... gold palm tree... snakes in the fireplace... geometric chaos... I want a refund; it's empty... she's empty... or is stress-free minimalism the sell?; I don't like chaos; gads, why would you look at each other when you have that view?; not enticing; there's something there... a cleanliness of abstraction... but I don't want to see the seems; the mess was there first; the movie was not as painful as I expected; I'm sizing up his stomach; is she a top?... is that a well known fact?; I have less patience... I'm on the downward track; I want meat... hey, I've got bacon in the freezer; no... too passive; the perks of celebrity... what if no one was a celebrity?; too modern; so gay... nah, I don't care if it's not PC... sometimes things are simply gay... and that's the point of them;

Entertainment Weekly
Mother of Dragons... not the character I would have written; well, now... that's a spoiler; sorry, I think I'm thinking of somebody else; yeah, I should not have picked up this issue... I haven't seen the final season of Game of Throbes, yet... oh, well; I actually don't like looking at him; I don't like the slashed story titles; all the sequels are belong to us; and here's a lady I don't like looking at; TV, maybe... but I'm absolutely not taking your advice on books; $$$... Mr Critic, you sound surprised; I wonder if they must pan to maintain credibility?; it's on the hold list... A-... I shan't read more; nice drama... don't trust the women... ever; and just one more spoiler to top it off... I did myself in picking that issue;
 
fine Cooking
For People Who Love To Cook
Bundy Cake... nice caramel... coffee is over-rated; are you feeding your dog?; how is something Extra Virgin?; it's hard to go wrong with steak and blue cheese... even if you mix in arugula; I don't want to grow old... maybe, you should linger and tease apart what I mean; the problem with bacon is that it gets soggy; pastry Wrapped Sausage Rolls... I'm going back to take a photograph... a reminder to make sometime; I want thinner, large-diameter biscuits; steak with a superfine chopped salad... could use herbs... looks good; roasted lemons do nothing for me... though, if pureed, can make an interesting sauce; hate the game, not the player... fine... hate both; it's not sandwich bread... though, I question whether it is to be eaten like a sandwich... wine seems like it might be important;

food network
Eggs over ellipses... Pasta?; s'mores are not all that; cheese Whiz?... so, this isn't a cooking magazine, then?; it's a Hand Grenade... no, don't read the caption... I'm telling you, it's a Hand Grenade; we; it's a good gig if you can get it; interesting advertising... the main event; it's what I like to call a compromise; cat tricks; all advertising... all the time; tatter-tots are all the rage; and here I thought they just did it... nope, they did a show about it... it's a totally different thing; sausage & Rice; frozen fruit and sugar... pureed; maybe, it's best to think of it as a dry stew... hmmm; fame!... nobody lives for ever... those others... I don't even know their names... but, yeah... I had a crush on her... so in other words, I was raised on unrequited love; the prospect of bones is highly unappetizing; OK... Yes... I could use more high quality fruit juice in my life;

Good Housekeeping 
What would Halloween be like without Pink Pumpkins?; old people ads... maybe, that's why it's been less than interesting so far; because plants are scary; as I go blind, I predict text will become more important... versus pictures; I don't understand adoption... I have no urge... no feel for it; Hoosier drawstrings are against the law... maybe, just for kids; jackfruit does not inspire me; I wonder how many versions of me there are;

{My eyes are shot. This is a longterm condition on the way to blindness. I don't feel like lingering as long between the pages.}

The Guardian Weekly
Scuff marks... at first, I saw Cubist Abstraction... it's the nose that adds to that feel the most... the scandal issue; the Starfish; in a few weeks?... I'll believe it when I see it; yay!; wouldn't it be ironic if my blindness were directly linked to global warming; the state of technology... can it keep pace with the degradation of the world... or you know, my personal degradation; big Dreams... often end in nightmares... it's a fun story, though; I've got my own problems; two lead stories I could not care less about; music does not translate well to the printed page; a favorite... but the coverage is such a crutch... come one, Stephen; Cooking advice... no, it's a mistake to include that... pop art coverage, as well... and here I thought this was a serious magazine... my mistake... won't happen again; it's a silly chess problem... pawn advance works just as well... or consider, we are talking about a 21 Point Spread Lead;

Harpers
Oh, you still believe The Constitution is worth the paper on which it was written; the Sex Trade... you have my attention; fools!... I'm in The Index; Gay Bars are out; don't cry; an excerpt from a magazine I haven't gotten to... and likely never will; does anyone care... does anyone think this art is important; no paragraph breaks makes it poetry; and why did you buy it the first time?; considering how many Supreme Court cases I read, I found the article uninteresting... random opinion is random, after all; faith in The Rule of Law is at an all time low; TV... the main event; don't care; I should probably care more about these articles... then again, I do want to get through this magazine fairly quickly; 1 in 37... my old number of 1 in 50 was too optimistic... those currently in the meat grinder called The Justice System; I am reading this article; and then, I lose interest; done... so done, I shall skip the findings;

Harper's Bazaar
I did not recognize her... statuesque?... only by insinuation; if I stared long enough, would a story come?... something that was more than a LARP; she makes bad impromptu decisions; solid paper... to little effect; I'm sure I can get a shoe close to that for $700 less, at least... but I like the cushiony look; horoscope sort of skimmed to the side... a ricochet miss; has been... sorry... but it's true... the peak lies on a distant horizon... in the past; fluff... the comments don't always tell the story... I read lots of words in the previous magazine... almost none in this one... and then, I realize I'm posting in the wrong note... that's been happening a lot, lately;

Health
Everybody opens up, these days... a study in brown and biege; crap paper... I expect little; varied food is good for you;  I don't believe passion fuels your desire if I have to pay money (and big money at that, presumably) for access; I lie Cartoon Characters... even molars, apparently; breast cancer is a post menapaus phenomenon; 'I was so messed up'... 'but I'm better now';

HGTV magazine
Spots on the wall... dog in a chair; so masculine in his femininity; Home Garden... I'm guessing, at this point; that looks good... well, inventive... too sweet for me, now; the cure doesn't always work... we have a cure for that; I wonder how many prefer the higher priced alternative?; feel better about your online purchases; How Bad?... very!... OMG Bad!; could be; delish is not a word; I am not trendy... I'd love to trend... but be trendy?... not a chance;

House Beautiful
Water disguised as Pink Lemonade... served poolside; putting the brand before the product; that looks very nice; a driveway done right... a chair done wrong; the readership travels... disposable wealth at retirement age; for those in the know... and now, that means you; a nice vacation home... two of them, I'd guess; the viral aesthetic... I think I meant, virile;

InStyle 
Too tan... ironically, she wasn't my favorite Friend... but she's done the best out of all of them; is the Fifties a good look for someone in their Fifties?; Kung Fu Coutage; long braids; glitter eyes... like those of a tortoise; Fremen... unfortunately, it's a vacant stare; I'm old enough to know saying doesn't make it so; the towel ain't bad... too bad that's the look; yeah, saying really doesn't make it so; would it make for good chili?... you know, if it wasn't dog food; well, I read that bit of marketing... until the disconnect of marketing kicked in;

In Touch
See, he's to blame... the cad... also, I got me a looker... and another front page in the tabloids... Suckers!; if you're talking, we're listening; a fun read... who's next?; racketing downward... yeah, I'll judge; who?... I like these stories; so hurtful... the big question is whether she has the fanbase... and is a good demographic fit; that looks a lot like product placement to my jaded eye; I just drink tap water... drinking fountains are just fine by me; I find myself reading the names... in a different life, I could get into this; always!; the choices confound me; yes!... next question, please; I was sold... until I saw the price; meh... not compelling... some actors play themselves too much; all sorts of play... she must have hired a PR Firm; CAN... nailed the crossword... um, I'll leave the rest for you; 20th... 21st... 22nd... the Horoscope has me covered; hit & Miss for the closeout jokes;

Kiplinger's Retirement Report
Butterflies; Kellogg is selling its cookies; I should probably switch banks... or think about it;

Life
Of all the choices, Godzilla sounded the most interesting... I find it boring... but consider certain scenes to be quite artsy; tasty snacks; he's so cute!; much more of a Book than a magazine... I was thinking about skipping... maybe, I should have; yep, done... and that was the issue I was most looking forward to reading;

Martha Stewart Living
Novel pie crust... even if it's not the pie I want to eat; where's the travel time?; I don't think of her as being married; I wonder what color her hair is ellipses... naturally?; just like your grandmother; even bacon manufacturers don't know how to cook bacon; that's some coarse pepper; a lot of work... for next to nothing... if you ask me; did he ever exist?... I'm sick... every page takes effort... long pause... sigh; she doesn't do her own dishes; well, it's soothing... even if it is ad copy... at this rate, I might not make it to my second msgazine; to consume is human... but marketing is divine; decadence; crispy sprouts look good; that's a tasty looking Biscuits & Gravy; the Art of Art; and there's your story... you know, because every pitcher has one; disfiguring injury or PhotoShop... the choice is yours;

Men's Health
He said he would be back... and he is... Hasta, baby; wrong place to stand; I'm not a hustler; to the organizers goes the glory; I'm not concerned about testosterone... low or high; endorsed by the stars; don't be weird... be weirder; I do like the marketing... it's usually for crap... but then, that's why it needs to be marketed; so don't date him; don't care... but I would have expected better pictures; I'm not an athlete... it might be fun to get paid for sport... but then, I'm not an athlete; not for me... not even close... though, I liked the team marathon concept... all for one and one for all;

The New York Times Magazine 
No doubt a repeat... but Fentanyl!... the Lightning of Horse; indoor soccer... never see the city again; hell hath no fury like the,wrath of a little girl; tourist photos... yeah, I read it... and this is a sick person's comment; don't bring youself to it... you are a tool....an instrument... a means to an ends; let's blame China... they're why we watch too much television, too... cheap TVs; sounds like you've made an enemy; I am not particularly good at word games;

New York Times Style
I want a red bench to look comfortable... thus one looks darn near brutal... meanwhile, the king, he sleeps; interesting g use of couch... oddly, it's overly comfortable looking, either; suckers; it's not real... so, it's crap... who would want to wear crap so prominently?; in profile... it was fun to deconstruct; curled pasta... it has potential; but it's not one of the good things in life... amusing?... sure... but then, so is a spoonful of honey; lose the tights and the plaid works; $24,335!... so much stupid... OK... Fine... $243.35... and that's my final offer... $245?; I should have done something like that in Arkansas; still thinking about that stone cabin; it's not tough... and it's not cool... so, what are we trying to project?... money?... but doesn't money just do that naturally?; li hing mango; the mix with real food doesn't seem like it works as well as more needlepoint would; cereal is overpriced... what a shame; another acquisition in a curated life;

The New Yorker
Why for 217?... two pumpkins, two skulls, and a backpack; how did Kerouac  die?... overdose?; the once and future unfairness; how do we get her down?; and yet, thirty percent agree; turn the page; embrace death... it's the only way to live; don't care; the Martian has a sense of humor; in the end, there can be only one ellipses... famous picture of an Afghani Girl ellipses... with crystal blue eyes... just like My Girl; I don't care about myself... how am I going to care about you?; a bird in the hand ellipses... hot Darn!... Market Day!; it's called recognition... since it's all crap, only the brand names remain... so, does this project enhance my brand?... most never have a brand... his success?... he's made it to brand status... from there, nothing else matters; not believing in a meritocracy anymore, I have a hard time believing in merit... sure, he's a great actor... but aren't great actors a dime a dozen?... now, a famous actor, thst gonna cost you... also, I think his version of Darth Vader sucker... I haven't seen it yet, but I'm willing to wager <i>Joker</i> will be the Vader we've all been waiting for; Spot On, Mr Edison; Thor Ragnarok;

Newsweek 
Let's read about the Supreme Court... keeping in mind, I no longer have any faith in the institution... prejudice, not principles, rule the country... thst and money; actor praises series creator... unheard of; mercy is the problem... oh, right... and corruption... nothing begets corruption quite like corruption; I'm sure the government is protecting them... if not, it's Open Season; I don't care what she wants... I simple do not; turns out, I can't be bothered to read the Op Ed... I'm sure I'll be reading the Supreme Court Slip soon enough; so little care; that's a great shot; I know the future... do you?; gun Data; more Pictures... the issue was half pictures... you know, at a guess; culture should play no role in the news... it only waters it down ellipses... and confuses the issue as to what's important... I mean, if this is, maybe nothing is;

O
The Oprah Magazine
Guess who is on the cover?... I've never thought of her as sexy... I think thst part of her appeal... 20 Years?... and she's just now telling us about her 'Favorite Turkey Recipe'?; the nicest thing about fame, I imagine, is the regard shown for one's opinions; LBD... yeah, you figure it out; he's totally and completely over-rated... more importantly, his smile seems to stop at his face... and not go any deeper; OK... that would have been a great cake as a child; see?... it's different; as a man, do I have a right to comment?... of course... and it seems frivolous to me; no one tells me what to read; three years later and he's still selling copy; I'm lonely... because I hate other people;

OK!
The Wife's Rules!... shaggy unkempt facial hair... hmm, I probably should shave... Twinsies!... Sorry... Ememies!; such puppy dog eyes; I'll take Demi's side; performance?... or script?; I am not a big fan of that skin... or face; boy Toy!; so far, not compelling; so, buy the book, already; he's a Wild & Zany Guy!; a house is a house; the PR Ploy is working; I did it for the marketing; too hard to find the rules; getting bored; I do not like these Horoscopes; who?;

People
Kill Them All!... hey!... 13 is 31 backwards... I like the theory that it is a symptom of a far larger underlying problem; yeah, I found is amusing... is there nothing they won't try to market; not as interesting?... or I am done for the day with this sort of subject matter?;  or just done with the marketing?; oh, I remember that one... may have read it... or parts of it; I so could not care... ignore in life... pay in death; numbers... all the numbers; 1 gets 4... 31 get 6; more death; if it works ellipses; diagonal;

Popular Mechanics
Big Orange... ah, it's a movie reference... No. 2; nothing inspiring... so far ellipses; liquor is a big thing; young people; rock wool... I'm sold; Photography in the Modern World 101; Scrabble... fighting hard against Words With Friends, I presume; fractures come in all types and varieties... well, two, at least; death... and interesting subject; the worst looked best; nah;

Popular Science
Not a parking meter... a pay as you go periscope; I'm not spending any time decoding mysteries... just tell me; I question whether that is remotely accurate... perhaps, best to say, the expansion will be relative; not ready to eat; why 42?... ah; looks like good content... to soneone... I just don't care; the real stuff is becoming legal soon;

Pro Football Weekly
50 Years Of Professional Football Since 1967
There's more than seven on a team, right?... I'm looking at some sort of Special Collector's Edition; local advertisers... crap looking wings; I do not care about football... I don't watch... or follow; yeah, there's no sense wasting my time;

Reader's Digest
The classic American Barn; nice index... I'm finding it hard to care about the quantity of my life; I don't care about the handicapped for handicapped's sake... I want merit; a lot of feel-good stories; nice bits of Life... enjoyable... poor kid; uninspired quotes; good content is hard to come by... so we read the middling and mediocre stuff, as well; the best; people pay for marketing... shocking!; facts be facts; men standing... because they are men... men, women stand; and then, I am done; wait... no... more jokes... niw, I am done;

Real Simple
Burnt Brussel Sprouts!... the Thanksgiving Issue; very soft looking... like a Georgia Peach; weird sprinkles; I've got a pocket for that... thanks; there's big money in socks, these days; I like the leftover guide... very short refrigerator times; it's basic stuff... but reviewing the basics can be pleasing now and again; I got too much cheap stuff to worry about investing in quality; I don't like tipping culture; thick sliced turkey... looks juicy... or is that just wishful thinking; I do not understand; Darts!;

Rolling Stone
Yellow and orange eyeliner... more famous than the makeup would lead me to believe; ha... Elton got mention on two covers in a row; we hot the name... now, all we need is the music; Elton!... My Man!; more yellow; he looks pretty old... I wonder how old I look; never!; literally nothing... 'OK. Have I distances myself enough?"; the nitty gritty; the world moves on; dude!; time to flip it over; a posterized phonograph; saw the name... remembered from earlier... wanted to see who he was;

Sports Illustrated
I'm guessing basketball season starts soon... lots of tattoos on the starting line... that's a Dating App, right?; I like the shot; that's a big guy... so is he... very heavily developed leg muscles; the wind up... and the pitch; nope... not without the photo op; I do view all that extra clothing and support gear as a bit of
cheating; each with a splash page; I wonder why distribution notices are deemed important; a well dressed man... well, a man with his own clothing line;

The Sunday Times magazine 
Red Fifties Business Suit... with a monkey near her shoulder; I'm probably a sociopath... and I'm still effected; Booyah!; compelling at first... but the feeling went away; hey!... I know him; a fish wrapped egg souffle; she should have stayed on the show; Salt is Salt... I'll buy it by the pound, if you please; find the right balance; a Man of God... why aren't we all?;

Taste of Home 
Cook. Share. Celebrate.
Thanksgiving... Ha! More Braised Brussel Sprouts... this is not what I want out of a feast meal; I'm going to call it Toasted Ravioli... and it looks good; I like Recipe Picture Indexes; I want enough for everyone ellipses... for every bite; I'm leaning towards prime rib; those mashed potatoes just don't do it for me; those shrimp don't look natural... but they do look tasty; I do like graham cracker crusts; that pizza sucks... the crust should never be thicker than the toppings; I'm surprised to find this advertiser;

Tastes of Italia
Mule Balls!... but in truth, a little too spherical for that... 'And not enough hair.'... true, there's hardly any at all; I am not such a snob... nor so rich; very nice... I believe a filter was used to saturate the color; it's hard not to look pretentious; and then, you add fig; well, I find the drizzle pattern captivating... if not compelling; nor; wait!... is he flashing gang signs?; howfore does the drop form... or is that the consistency of the main part... meaning, the spoon is full of backwash and seapage; that is not the goatee I am looking for; does it make a difference?... could I taste the difference?; I like the hatches; wow!... those cuts run deep; we've got a great market, nearby; and that's how accidents happen;

Time
A super-super-super thick double issue,  asking the question... to see or be seen?; yep, that's what it is; I was expecting a third page; three... and it wasn't me or myself; oddly, I'm not concerned... optionin out is an option; not a pretty picture; texting solace; media pitching media?... who would have thunk it?; another name for The Current News Cycle Paradigm... see?... we are important!;

Town & Country
Star of the Silver Screen wearing silver... looks more like a robe than a dress or a gown... Power!... The Ultimate Guide, no doubt; water is good; beer in hand... he's a bit hard to respect; gads... I'm sick of him; style... I would not want to laze on that couch, however; I should change my will; so over-valued... so is gold... and silver... I'd rather have the gold and silver; so hard... hard; that's a happy girl; not a single compelling picture... pity; nice juxtaposition... I wonder how the Tourist Industry is doing; original was better; not very interesting considering the potential;

Traditional Home
Orange Wall Blue Chair 2.0... reimagine it... John and Nancy sitting on a desk; the most interesting the so far is a  rise ship;  I've driven down the snake river; he's wearing a delightful robe... seriously gay... but delightful; don't be bitter; waffles are no longer my thing; I'm getting more claustrophobic by the second; very little for my eyes to settle upon;

TV Guide
Let's check out the new shows... all of them; the new math; are you old?; the third was as blank blank blank, as ellipses... well, you know how the song goes; he's dead?... Nooooo!; there's a rhythm, there; ladies first; masked men (and women) always have potential; let's skip the listings, shall we?; highlights; more pages that need skipping; is it OK to Jeer the Cheers?;

US Weekly
So many lies... I'm tired if it... also, is it possible I'm the father... if so, what does that make me?... King Rascal?; does that mean she owns the brand?; pucker Up!; the little minx... what did she do?; I'm deconstructing their smiles; oooh!... tell us more!; so much <i>Who?</i>; I do like the pictures; her eyes hurt... also, if advance notice, note the advertising; I have a hard time caring about them as people; I don't respect his choice in video games; you say heart shaped... I say butt shaped; goodbye John; snark!; if he had failed, he might;

Vanity Fair
Lots of green... it's why I chose this issue; 'How may I serve?'; viva la stupid; not sexy enough; and stupid... so maybe we've found the issue's overarching theme; I must admit, I'm surprised anyone buys watches anymore... how do they pay for all this advertising?; I'd say stupid, again... but what I really see is a Lost Soul; those responsible; nail her... in the head with an ax... well, that took a turn; he played people... including young women... and?; and then, he 'Committed Suicide'... gotcha; yes!... he should be on it; it's a Fame Game; so no care; he's always relied on government subsidies... well, after that first homerun, he has; uninspired answers to uninspired questions;

Variety
Where's my code... half smile... half serious... half a man... and together they are supposed to make three?; for my consideration; almost poster size... lots of full page splashes; if dearh is your goal, that's a good start; I'm not find a lot to care about... let us assume they ate preaching to the choir... I am not the choir; my respect on the decline; his face is distinctive;  that's per episode; hey, congrats... who are you, again?; it's not for me; the podcast of movies; Tolle is how I would finish that name; nice feet... even I I am sure the movie will suck;

Veranda
More green... I like those drapes... calls to mind Dorian Gray; lost in thought; him, again... I so do not respect his work... it's not what I want... and it's hard to view it as impressive... call it understated elegance, if you must... I call it overpriced mediocrity... oh, slam; gold... far too chunky to be real... and so, kind of pointless; I would (or should that be wood) be content... hardly simplicity... but, soothing; it just boggles my mind that there is a market for such expensive light fixture... why not something totally custom?... or are you admitting you have money not originality?; nice & green... also, I believe he disappeared into the jungle... never to be seen again; 'I am so pooped.'; chess comes to mind... a battle of the mind over the body; the notion made me laugh; those aren't dragons... even if they caught my eye; is green the color of the season?; I don't like sitting out of doors... maybe, if it was cleaned... by others, but of course; still not inpressed; Ralph Lauren comes to mind... it's that <i>we haven't thrown anything out in over two hundred years</i> look... avoiding a cluttered appearance is key; books... they remind me that my eyes are giving out; I'd rather have a red sauce... maybe it's the corn that ruins it for me... I like mussels;

Vogue
Let's be swift about it... and go for the Big Issue; freedom in Flames... too true... too true; repeat!; I see London... I see France; it's not poem if it is fashion; the nose ring ruins the look for me; too many cameras... not enough actors; I am flipping those pages fast... I've just begun; lovely cannot overcome stupidity; 'Let's look this way.'; missing something?; Fame remains Fame; the difference a filter makes; I'm going fast to be done... but I haven't found the story, yet; expected two men; I do not care about youth for youth's sake... and the only predictive quality is the effect of early promotional opportunities; nice hat... even if the stupidity continues; whatever; I gained nothing by selecting the larger issue; believing doesn't make it so; fur is nice... the realer, the better; that works... finally; choose your spokesperson carefully; shocking... we must do our part; I wonder what truly drives marketing... maybe, I should pick up <i>Ad Age</i> a little more often;

The Week
Thirty Two Trillion... What a second!... is  she practising medicine without a license?; wrong... again; chumps... the lot of you; another good reason to skip town and decamp; and what about her qualifications; he seems even handed and reasonable; so woke; right On!... trstify, brother!... testify!; now, that's a show of force; I don't think he was the one that got away; and thus, The Cultural War continues; maybe, you should try wearing a turtleneck; I have no real respect for him... it's hard to even focus on his money... something I'd usually be jealous of; there is no anonymity; funny in its idiocy; the tech snapshot was useful; he's still standing; and yet, we still reviewed it; air by any other name; no longer influential; I like these short bite-sized stories; I made some progress on the crossword puzzle;

WW
Weight Watchers
Doesn't she have her own magazine?... the Blue & White; he does seem thinner... also, has a new movie on the way; the plants do bring other greenery to mind; move; like that; Smart Points... why not calories?; hamburgers sound good; the desire; stay active... I'd say that's the most important part;

Woman's Day 
Turkey Cupcakes!; hide it; no silver?... what idiots; Baby Doll?; I laugh at patriotism, these days... hey, go for it... I will not; Parker House Rolls... I have put in a request; wow!... I am so unconcerned about Heart Failure... I just don't think that's the way I'm going... at least, not this year; I want a dog of some sort... Drooling Dragon... something; I never cared for that style of mold;

{And now, my final magazine on the Main Stack!}

Woman's Health
A colorful knit outfit... I don't care for the shorts... but the top is styling; so, a diet; pretty nice; a one minute meditation... WTF is that?; looks wet; I wear my philosophy in thin letters on a cheap t-shirt; scrambled eggs sound good; hate... thy will be done; and that's how you exfoliate; the pay gap isn't real; I am unimpressed;

{2019-11-05-17:44}

{I am done with the Main Stacks!}

{I start on my Collected Pile, tomorrow.  I doubt I will be adding any more to it. And from there, I may or may not do the Children's Magazine's or Foreign Language Stacks.}

{I've decided to start the Foreign Language Stacks. The weather is nice. I like taking walks. The library has always been one of my favorite destinations. And this project has been what I've been doing in the library, as of late.}

Jiating Chia Ting Family
I have no idea as to the accuracy of that title... 70 Years... since 1949... something; and really, without understanding word one, the project will be impacted little... reaction does not require accurate understanding; cheap paper; good work, guys; historical movies, I presume... there will be a lot of presuming; she's old... revered; text heavy; interesting mule; hey, now... Baby Boys!; teach 'em young; I no longer respect the same honours; to what end?;  it's Bull S!; hey, recipes; it is to laugh;
 
Fujin Koron 
Some chick... eight out of nine... wow!... issue 1522!... but I take it to be fifteen years; the wrong way is the right way; I like the cartoon graphics; japanese, I presume... so in the previous, we saw images of movies featuring the Japanese Military, I suppose; another guy lying down to watch a screen... I sense a cultural theme; what's in the case?; I will not be reading the comics; last rites;  these truly are low budget graphics; child of Dog; so embarrassed; the food is in color... shows what's important; I do not see the appeal; so happy... this is the life; lots of interviews... or featured personalities; I see the spirit of a sleeping herd animal... quite content and happy to end up on your plate; why is she not the one drinking?... is to drink to be happy?... not a care?... the day over and left behind?; story time; yowza!; "you have small head"... "you give me money"; It's just not food; Bird's Nest Preserves;  So American... or is the desired look European?;

{The images are not as interesting, being unable to read the text. But then, it's more like a game or a mystery, that way. The text could be anything. So, what is it?}

Nikkie Trendy
Ten... October... 2019... looks like a catalog, to me; e-cigarette for e-idiots; the pursuit of pleasure; the first passenger-less drone capable of carrying people... or pilot-less... obviously, the text is unclear; vampire?; sorry, Home Made cannot be Store Bought; ah, those are pills; lots of drugs; Loyalty Programs?; I like their generics; and that's how the magic happens; happy Happy; no, I will not be signing that; I find those Spider Web Graphs to be worthless; now, it feels like we are discussing franchise opportunities... or the marketplace; ah, investments; what stereotype does he represent?; all sorts of food... the prepackaged kind; by association; it's a very good idea... I question the implementation; high Ball in a can... I don't even drink and I want;

Story
Cowgirl Up!... obviously a villain... lots of words I don't understand; odd, how I would grant competence; the same old brands; the advertising seems more classic... like going back a few years in time; no respect for Pop Ups; thanks to eating right; fluffy cheescake?; 'I work for you now, yes?'; more like a catalogue  than its American counterparts... so in that regard, the same as the previous; so fun; what would a Saint do?... go shopping, I presume; is there a code?... I want there to be a code?; it's a clear progression... and it starts with the right brew; I like the yellow shawl; my mind is drifting far afield... I'm a robot... or an autistic pretending to be one... flip-flip... what am I doing, again?; it looks very expensive... I've been offered jars of cream for upwards of $300; kumbacha, if I had to guess... and if I had to guess, I'd guess I spelled that wrong; ah, if Tea drank Tea, this would be the Tea that Tea would drink; better than sex; you realize what that means, right... oh, calm down... don't get hysterical... 'Sunshine! Always be Hysteric!'; does Pick Up mean Freebie?; Dad ain't having it; it's just a hot dog, but look at those cuts; better than exercise; these desserts are growing on me; movie reviews; ha!... I thought we were selling the skirt;

{I just nabbed two new magazines for my final miscellaneous stack. So much for not grabbing any more.}

Bunte
Looks German... some Prinzessin... it's spelled tright... do the similarities foretell of a preminition?; it's the best... I deserve it; WoW! NoW!... eh, there's a reason I'm not in marketing; more words I do not understand; keep up if you can; I do wonder at the social appeal (or utility) of sport; hey! Hey!... Tantric Sex is easy enough to translate; the Ex's; she's a clone!; limelight Achieved!; there's always room for dessert; given the same alphabet, I'm trying harder (as compared to the Japanese magazines) to decipher the script; Check It!; he's too happy... I don't think I've ever been that happy to eat, serve, or be served waffles... sorry, waffeln; quite; everybody wants you; so old, she's stylish again; hey, even The Pope needs good press... though, I'm going to guess that's just a cardinal; monkey Business is Big Art; I expect him to be chipper and ernest... like a mouse... fawning; calling all sluts; you can give him your eyeballs... I will not; closing with the importance of a solid frame;

{If you speak the language, browsing the foreign language stacks can be a great way to meet folks.  And if not, the disappointment is palpable ellipses whatever palpable means.}

Der Spiegel 
CO2... I guess that's what cars emit... even red ones; online Surf Lessons?; 'You're Fired!'; a different quotation syntax... small double angle brackets... not ANSII, so I don't want to use... or at least, not part of the primary symbol set thst I use; Massage Club... yowza!... also, more SUVs... maybe in accidents; Climate Killers!; the Monks are in decline; not based on the picture; she's got her own Love Doll... now, that's a scene I want to see; Crypto-Currency!... Fine!... I already knew; parting it out; the Snowman in Exile?... I call that Springtime; they've got gorlfriends; sport isn't News... and Ping Pong isn't Sport; but I thought bigger was better; everything is the same the world over; what am I looking at?... and why?; I'll say it again... why?; I'm going to assume Duct Tape Torches; <i>Hogan's Heroes</i> was the first thing that came to mind;

Stern
Baby Tiger must cry... Growl!... it's probably healthy; attitude problem; got room for one more?; between two ships is my guess; it's nice having a make-up artist on-call; problem Child... welcome to Generation Jerk; beat... hard... with sticks; politicians Suck!... always... all the time; looks like fun; nice cheeks; crazy till the end; oh, hey... a TV insert; big Promos... as far as I can tell; the Land of Ice and Snow; I'm getting close to done... thankfully, so is the magazine; and now, I am done;

Paris Match
It's French... and there's a funeral... so, French Funeral... the widow, I presume; a match made in culture; I think I understand German better; someone is expecting; an idiot... presumably, a French Idiot; beards are in... I've got a good start going; he's an idiot... an American Idiot; lines... still doesn't tell me much; it's empty to me... to what are we showing respect?... the structure is unworthy... it matters not in the least how far one gets in their climb; pictures of pictures... it the type of picture I am prone to take... or was; ah, this is why the dignitaries are in town... Deathbed Diplomacy... or Soussing out the Survivors; was this his life?... or moving on, then?; men choose... women accept; Foreigners on the Beach; against the wind, I presume; oh, yeah!; I'm going to skip this Crossword Puzzle; I remember when kids looked like that... I looked like that;

Selecciones
Reader's Digest
Feliz (with a Z) is happy... could be a search engine; hey, don't puss on the carpet; mostly text, so less interesting... could be Spanish; yeah, I'm going to go with Spanish; subscribe... get a knife; the Lottery Scam... now, serving time; pumpkins... I am not a fan of that style; without words, it's just not that interesting;

Hola!
From Spain, I am guessing... 2.2 Euros... NUM 3,925... so, it's been around a while... all of which means, there was nothing distinct about the cover photos you me; it's really not much of a castle... it's designed with petty theft rather than siege in mind; Princess Not So Bright... which really just means, I don't find the photograph flattering; why 93?; not interesting; odd how off the esthetic is; interesting bridge... which canal?; more princesses... she looks brighter; I do not care about Royals... Spanish Royals even less so; that's some low quality photography... also, her scrambling technology is quite impressive; interesting pant creases; gads, what a putz; more I don't care... and an actress u don't particularly like; hmm, am I in a bad mood?... I don't think so... maybe, just done with magazines for the day... I do seem to be a bit needlessly critical; I like the concept... not the implementation; wrong... right... wrong... right... we are talking serious hit or miss, here; Corpse Bride; Cinnamon Banana Smoothie... and Sweet Pea Muffins... who says you have to read the language;

People En Espanol
Jose says goodbye... or doesn't... either way, he's gone... some guy... oh, next year's issue... or part is; trying to be better; it's a good life; cinnamon; does she smell bad otherwise?; I guess it's good for your heart... I have no heart; he gets around; Libra la telephono; an actor I don't care about... well, not yet... who knows?; lots of dead; drat!... I can't read the horoscopes; the one article in English... Why?; ndver a woman to me;

proceso 
Grief... reminds me os some painting... The Scream?... why red?; fascists... though in truth, I presume Pro Labor... so, Communists?; stands put every time; Ack!... it's an Alien Robot... come to steal our jobs; one of these people is not like the other; 'yep, she's alive.'... 'isn't thst good news, honey?';

Polityka 
Soldier, Slut, & Spy!... Little Red Riding Hood goes postal; pedestrian Un-safety; Iceland would be my choice; nice headdress, dude; is he a Punk Rocker?; pull!; 'I, too, like for the sexy time to make.'; 'Shut your mouth or I will shut it for you.'; stupid girls... being stupid... because they are girls; health concerns; life concerns; not interested; 99 Water Balloons; ich Bin Ein Wall Sitter!; what makes that a Hi-Tech look?; 20 Years in the spotlight... likely more; that's an interesting picture; opinions... every magazine has them; they look wretched... totally out of shape;

Wprost 
I've seen those female kick boxers before; OK... I can see Easter Europeans wearing watches... they're still stuck in the 19th Century... Huzzah!; Mr Bean; in the bleachers, nobody cares; Bad Guys... I presume; not a word; more blurred faces; yes, when I think Harry Potter, I think rebel; decent pictures... I am not inspired to say much; there you go... that movie... Zombiakow is the first word I've understood... but that movie is pretty old... so, a sequel?; that movie, on the otherhand, has been getting good PR... but that, still, doesn't make it look interesting; I'm glad to see Their Media is Our Media; Damn Hippies!... They even look like Hippies!; hey, look at that!... it's a store bought homestead;

Sieci
Guys in red are usual bad... War Crimes?... MSO... or should that be MSsO?... Commandant!; Soccer for Christmas; Heroin is illegal... so, why not abortion?; Polish is the current language; Money!... you know you want some; does grzechy mean complete and utter buffoon?; Goal!; editorials; cartoons... outsmarted by a cat... you schlub;

Claudia
Did you know that claudication is a word... or maybe, that's part of my private dictionary... red hair... teeth not as straight as at first I thought... 3,99zt... whatever that means... holding her jacket... standing tall; momma's looking pretty good; tormented by having nothing to wear; tuna... I've always considered it a good diet food;I must disagree... I do not believe a diet high in broccoli will significantly increase one's muscle mass; covergirl... mushroom in hand; fashion, fitness, and frozen desserts... good things come in threes; aspirin and Speed... two great drugs that go great together; Nie & Tak... No & Yes... do it right; actually, putting a pillow on your stomach to support your arms while you hold a book or phone might be inspired advice; do you need Renter's Insurance?; Imitation Butter makes it better; I find myself looking at the medicine ads (of which there are many) more closely... it is quite possible even the margarine was spiked... or had a spiked version; more esoteric culture... pack a punch... sorry, thst should have read Sting; what kind of crazy horoscope is this?;

L'Officiel Homme 
Three rings... three piercings... three tattoos... three shirts... I'm sensing a theme... maybe, the least important one; it's almost as if the goal were to separate money from taste; Camel Toes!; take your style to the previous level; infidels!... who are these idiots who have taken over my style magazine... of choice... in a language I don't understand... maybe French; so far, nothing... well, the diamond bracelets are nice; relaxed fit... you know, casual... for the tennis shoe crowd; yes, that is correct... I would like a tattoo of a corporate logo on my face; it's bad when I get bored with a style magazine; there's a story on this picture... it has been a long time... as she holds the falcon, her Master holds her... release g her for the hunt... returning with the prize... in these days, the she could just as easily be a he... my eyes read the helmet straps as hair braids... but they are straps; it is a guy... the plot thickens; it's a deep photo session... not quite an essay; I don't like the way the next session smells... literally; crap paper... thanks for the heads up... crap content ahead;

Health Mag Zdorovie
It's the English translation... however off thst may be... red on red... the sequin special... the dual-dual pearl rings are worth a mention; I do not value caviar... looks like bait to me; ha!... more caviar... so, imagine the markup that enables that sort of coverage; plastic surgery is big, as well; interesting barbed wire graphic... team Offence?... or Team Defense?; and yet more caviar... gads, that stuff is overrated... I mean, I can see why people eat it... what I don't understand is why it commands a better price than sardines; the stages of life; Go Taurus!; I'd be lucky to get one letter right in that crossword;

Karavan Istorii 
I'm pretty sure these aren't real words... I like the plumage... purple bird... so, a chick... 113, 143, 163... Bingo!; I do not like that actress... false concern... empty concern... meaningless concern; she got a lot of pages... clearly, not every feels as I do; day by day, it's not what I'd want to do; regal... but not regal enough; I like that barret... assuming it's a barret; the man pages... same movie... so, the Irish Chauffeur; hmmm... they do add clout... and the ambience could draw me in... actually, I only recognise the one Bad Boy; they aren't all that... literally; I'm going to guess they are advertising jeans knock offs of American Jeans; yeah, not a word do I understand... sometimes, I miss it... I want to know about this couple... well, the short line intro, at least; let's end with a Horoscope... maybe, I should put a fake Horoscope up on my website;

Zwierciadlo
Shoulder Pads... could be out of some SF Post Apocalyptic Movie... 10-2076; there's a type of forehead I do not care for; if that was pure quilting, it would be super cool; wow!... just cruising through this thing... thinking of other things; precision control... that's what those dots mean to me; stupid tats; the fan favorites; I know when I am bored... maybe, it was a mistake to start another magazine, today... that Horoscope Project is intruding; that burger has potential... bacon encrusted?; Muffins could work; Horoskop!... speak of the Pseudo-Science;

{And since I am not doing newspapers, that's it for the Foreign Magazines.}

{We are now in my Private Stacks. Throughout this project, I mixed in 25 or so miscellaneous finds. And now, I've got a stack of about that many before me. I even Alphabetized them.}

Alert
Doctors Without Borders
Refuge in the Red Shawl... with a determined look in her eyes; MSF?... this acronym took me awhile; how much?... I mean, talk about the perfect Germinating Environment; sympathy is not released... it's more a desire for Story Time; ironically, I was just thinking about rape in a different context... teasing apart rape an unwilling prostitution can be difficult... not as stated, of course... but consider one who is a prostitute but does not wish to be... I'm thinking it covers the vast majority... the same can be said for dishwashers, however... so, clarity?... I have none; breeder; ha, I thought it was to categorize bruises; a whole issue about nothing but Wonen's Health... and related issues... does this mean the Menfolk are overwhelmingly Combatants?;

Alive Magazine
I believe there is a different Alive Magazine... fog shrouded coast... artistic;  fun artistic intent... or so, they (and I) would have you believe; doing this at my desk... I'm just going to rip out that recipe; yeah, she probably was angry... still is... so angry... so angry, she doesn't even know it; semi-nude... Art!; ripping a magazine as o go is a different experience; nice bridge... London?... Brooklyn is likely the better guess; go get her, tiger;

Innovations
amfAR
Making AIDS History 
Genes... chromosomes that look like glowing iron; tuberculosis kills more than pneumonia... when it comes people with; over a quarter billion dollars in AIDS Research a year... that has ramped up a lot in the last few years; protease inhibitors are old hat... now, it's integrase inhibitors; the stars come out;

The American Philatelist 
Monthly Journal Of The American Philatelic Society
It's a Tarsius... and a ship off the coast of Chile; I'm guessing he wasn't so blind in the end; what pun?... where?; a four page ad spread... touting his good name; different ways to collect... stamps, my friend; let us assume none of the stamps thst passed through my hands were worth that much; yep, he could see; 1oz Gold Buffalo... .999 Pure Gold... much less expensive if one buys a fake... the Internet assures me; watermarks are fun; there's the other half of the pun; there you go... a mystery thriller... revolving around stamps; why a dragon?;

Architect
Looks like a prison... poor little kid... jeans and a t-shirt... it's clear his parents have no fashion sense; a name I recognize... with mixed feelings; snazzy bookcase; that's a nice market share; so accurate... except ellipses; I was going to guess Sparks, NV; the Vertical Forest; which one are you; many watching... few working; and somewhere else will take your place;

Argonne Now
The universe is an inflated donut... colored with green, orange, and blue... with wrinkles at the inner fold where too much material was used; big Data... it flows; Diamond Hail; I would never have guessed 60x... then again, I never thought of doing the math; I do begrudge my money going to this... where is my grant?;

Avotaynu
The International Review of Jewish Genealogy
XXV-4... six lives... it's a good ten years old; I acquired thus magazine six months ago; this is totally not what I want to read... in fact, upon seeing this magazine as the next item on the stack, my first thought was <i>This will go fast</i>; maybe, there was a reason the family split apart; fight to the death... if you are going to fight at all; I have no desire to know for myself; hey, somewhere I've got a digital copy of our family tree... want to buy it?;

Canoe & Kayak
up'em... I like being in the back better... the canoe is sponsored... I was not expecting that... finally, I prefer a seat over kneeling... Boats, Blades, & Accessories... I can hardly wait; pirate!... a Pirate of Foreign Wars!; cash works, too; nice pictures; fish!... it's what's for every meal for the next six weeks; they really are geared up for safety; that's a light canoe; a kayak is a kayak; in tandem, now;

The Christian Century
Thinking Critically, Living Faithfully
Red Blue Red... playing in the dirt?... or shadow work?; blood; Prosperity Gospel... it worked for me; a handful of dirt... yeah, I skipped most of it... even at three short paragraphs, I skipped most of it; it just was; life is a joke... you either get it or you do not... that's what I'd say... you know, in my interview; under forty is young; I'd come in at more like 200 at $20 a pop; there are certain professions I just don't respect... they should never be more than hobbies... poets... preachers... and prostitutes... yeah, it took me a moment for that last one;

Columns
The University of Washington Alumni Magazine 
A Robot Hand... Big Spenders; remember the good times and give; it's all about the paper; an unexpected sponsor; up on a soapbox; does the W stand for Women?; focus on discrimination; they're fun... do I want them to be fun?; it's moving... the art, it is; The University of Washington has its own Gang Sign... don't be messing with the Huskies!... it begs the question, how does university membership differ from membership in a gang?;

Union of Concerned Scientists
C... Solar Panels... it going to take a few more panels than what is shown to power that city; politics... not really my bag; just 25 years from now... impressive; let's call Climate Change something else... but what?; yeah, I don't like our tax codes... strange, because I make out like a bandit;

The Cracker Barrel
Septemberfest... progress on the parkway... it opens; ah, a town rag... not so much about ancestry; since it's remotely triggered, the use case seems very specific... too specific; and the company does what?; those Escape Games are surprisingly successful; those are some big names... maybe, I'll listen to a song or two; short parade... or the map is misleading... after all, I know not the scale; so many rules; want your tree sooner?; the eye is drawn; I like their clothes... but being paid a salary is thanks enough;

D
Dallas Real Estate
Tree lined roads... urban living... and yet, still a good place to ride a bike; big teams; not just for cultists anymore; I thought it was a watch ad; water bath steak... I would guess... looks good; so, why isn't his nose perfect, then?; People are dying; there are a lot of real estate agents; with advertising sneakily tossed in; with the showboat in the center; I never did like capri pants; I don't put much value in predictions... anything can happen in those ten years; a long list; fiction shorts... I presume; vacation time; top producers... I prefer repeat favorites... or most recommended; open care... dissed;

Departures
Published Exclusively For American Express Platinum Card&reg; Members
Wine, blank books, and a hipster... in some sort of closable cart; this issue got wet... the first few pages are hard to pull apart; it's the simple things in life; I find the ocean view patio to be quite compelling; I would have called it kitschy;  a chain too many; the Medusa Look; tricky footwork; it's not the sport (nor the athlete) I am looking for; ditto on the art; I should probably devalue my own work even more; idiots abound... um, wait... are intellectual property rights included; stripped down to the bare essentials... backpack included, this time; can cool exist inside the pages of a magazine?... probably,  not;

Foreword Reviews
A big bear... with a long snout; sorry, actor... or not, maybe I am confused... either way, those conferences look like big business; just tell me... in as few words as possible; books... many books... cue indifference... but then, I picked up a magazine only after rejecting all other possibilities; Cli-Fi... Climate Change Fiction... simply, not for me; supreme disinterest... this is just a book catalogue... so it's hardly to blame... I'm thinking about lunch as much as anything else; failure... written... equals success... one hopes; success... failure... let's write about it... renewed success?; if I has to pick one?... that last... that pop star's book;

Illinois State
Two Cell Phones Texting in the Dark; food For All... rice on demand... that sort of thing... better yet, hamburgers; I don't like their name... but Cardinals are cool; an envelope for giving... I presume; yes, blame others; is Normal normal... that is to say, are things as one might expect in a town named Normal?; I wonder how many people read the alumni updates from beginning to end;

Illinois Tech Magazine 
Red Blouse... fancy Necklace... I wonder how much time folks spend planning their wardrobes for shots like this... and how often that wardrobe is new; considering it's a campus wide map, those are not that many highlights; a solid highly-focused career; more meaningless icons; don't want... don't need... asking the question does bias have bias?... can a lack of view ever be achieved?... suffice to say, I am biased against this work; more alumni; become a mentor... is your experience of use to the next generation... find out, now;

In These Times
Uncle Sam ellipses... wants Me!... to lead a mediocre life; as a Writer-Reader... Walker-Stander... Leader-Follower... I epitomize it all; Crikey!; you are being arrested; Pro Labor?... I would have guessed Religious; LGBTQ Rights... is Complete Indifference an acceptable stance?; forced work instead of welfare?... think of the sabotage potential; I'm not in favor of the Green New Deal; just don't consume... that's the real answer; who is a president I respect?... that is a good question... I'll have to get back to you on that; robots will make human labour redundant... anachronistic... so, what makes you think humans will exist outside of museums?; I really am not with them... even if I am not as much against them as they might think;

Ia 
Internal Auditor
Am old time microphone... and nothing more; well, that cover popped right off... now, we have a trio watching a building fall over them like stardust; if wrong doing is not remedied, there is no reason to report wrong doing... and the counter-reason of the wrong doers now seeking vengeance... of which let us assume, wrong doers are skilled practicioners; opinions mean little... facts, even less; people cheat; that's simply a pleasing use of the word 'simple' and it's roots; I do not believe blockchains are all that... I'd rather study Relational Databases... I believe the applications are inherently more diverse... it at least, widespread; cool picture... it took me awhile; continual... piecemeal... streaming... real time... or go ahead and call it Agile; once a thief, always a thief;

Local 399
International Union Of Operating Engineers
LXIV... the Family Picnic and Golf Outing as important as anything; the Symptoms of Withdrawal; letters... about anything; I still don't know what members of this union do... Building Maintenance?; but what are the fees?; I got the drinks; refrigeration... so, Building AC?; Facilities Management; giving money... the Who's Who; lots of beer; yes, congrats; retired?... we still want your money; finally, good sir... I can still figure out your name... oh, it's fifficult... but it can be done;

The ASHA Leader 
insights + resources for the speech-language-hearing world
In jail... the image might be more profound if it was ASCII Art; what is aphasia; lots of words are being expended on increasingly unimportant details; four is the number and the number shall be four... sorry, it's two to six now... a range being more versatile; social isolation leads to further unpleasantness; that's turning into an expensive contract; another reason screens are inferior; that conclusion is wrong... I'd see definitions as the easy part... once a syntax for definitions is established; don't get sick... just don't; swallow Studies... just saying; I still don't know what aphasia is; father and son?; so, I guess it means problems speaking; Yay!; Say It Right!;

luxe.
Chicago
interiors + design
The period on the name is correct... find the hippopotamus... it's a campy touch; that furniture ad is for the birds... it's that good... and the chairs are a bit trippy, as well; sauvage... wet noodle edition; Big Brother; I would never install a diving board... I want to wade in... so like, a cement pond; I found myself inspecting the chair backs... these are not as cool; I used to want a bear skin rug; cool staircase; I find winter to be slower... there's no where to go; I could collect caligraphy brushes... they're like wands; at some point, a recording is simply better; sometimes, I think I should take more staged pictures... sculptured cloth brought this to mind; interesting chairs... interesting fabric; too bad it looks uncomfortable; or aircraft... got a chuckle out of me; visualize it; what?... steak isn't good enough for you?; simply; is that real color?... I doubt it... but it's the color I want it to be; fine... my mind keeps on going back to that swimming hole; and now, I want to do black ink blotches; there is nothing special there... nothing... nada... zip; bathtub?... yes... that one?... no; selling and Sourcing are far more important than design... or so, I would tell you; cool quarry; the jet airplane is captivating... I really am getting inspired... the desire to take action (at some future undisclosed date) is real; satchel;

News & Notes
Members' Magazine
The Oriental Institute of the University of Chicago
A print of a wall hanging... beige-green on beige; the ever present donation envelope; it's a soothing piece of parchment; this is where our histories part; would a diff work better?; so far, it might as well be Near Eastern Studies... well, not surprising in retrospect... but I was expecting more art... a statue... something; now, that's a typeface; Pizza Party!; time or money... if we can't have the one, we'll take the other;

Nuclear News
Yep... Sure... that's exactly what I thought one of those things would look like... the only real question is Laser or Plasma?... or Plasma Laser?... either way, it's ruby red... and he probably shouldn't be standing there; an add for Nuclear Fuel... who would have thought?; I don't think I'll be going to a conference; want to know how to build a bomb?... they have books for that; for CosPlay, perhaps I should get a Hazmat Suit?... Fire Reflective Suit?... ah, basic coveralls might work best; Nuclear is going Solar... sorry, Stellar... as in, InterStellar; and Moly was her name, O; is your Waste Rad?... then it's Rad Waste; humor abounds... just watch that Beta Decay;

Midwest Living
Lots of ice cream... I would say lots of flavors... but at this point, lots of repeats is more accurate... the blueberry (or is that cherry) looks the best; I've heard of its southern neighbor; that kitchen sink is the start of a story; I'm reading about the Sturgis Rally, at the moment... well, not this moment... in other media; hammocks hurt my back... I want more support; what are you looking for?... that's where you go; just burgers... not even great burgers; bikes are the last thing I want on a sidewalk with me; the Donut Burger... a younger version of myself may well have liked that; pictures of folks taking pictures... these are the memories you'll remember, people; I, still, don't respect tattoos... eh, maybe, you do not respect my overuse of commas; hamburgers are such a difficult medium in which to excel... I mean, mine are pretty awesome... aren't everybody's... so, what's special about that?; ah, staircases... I read it as a road, at first... which seemed sort of disrespectful; peach sandwiches... I'd give it a go; it makes life seem so... tedious; I've mentioned Sturgis... I'm reading about it... the ideal way to travel... not really... but that's the bar to beat... all the comforts of home with the mind engaged... just like this magazine; gardens hold little interest... digging in loamy soil sounds appealing, though; leather straps on aprons are a big no-no... how do you wash them, now?; the action shot... five flavors of freedom; there is a desire to fill out the postcard; come on, dude... hit the link... we need you to engage; seriously, why are you going anywhere, at all?;

{I am the better part of halfway through my final free-range stack. There must be a kids section, somewhere. But I might just skip.}

Mission mosaics 
in your home - in your church - in your world
That's a fairly non-Indian looking Indian... to my eye, anyway... I guess, she's a refugee... wait, let me take my glasses off first; the Purple Shirts; for Christ... fair enough... but it would be nice to be impressed... even more so to be inspired; eh, that's probably asking a lot... you know, seeing as I'll be skipping most of the words; fried chicken ellipses... is nowhere in sight... but I know what I wanted to be in those Plate Lunch containers; it really is hard to have mercy for others when you lack much of the same for youself... oh, I'm willing to forgive myself... but forget?... it's just not how I am built... after all, not remembering is equivalent to refusing to learn... maybe, I switched lanes... let's just say I'm fairly well certain I deserve whatever I get... eh, it's too complicated to get into here; maybe, I just have a deaf heart... maybe... as in, some folks are born without heaets/souls... I may just die without one... now, where did I put it?; 1 in 25 Mental Illness... 1 in 50 in Prison, Probation, or Parole; Prayer effects the self... it is inward ellipses... not outward... let us say, it is a search for the soul; Your Certainty (as you read this, Mr Self Righteous Christian) is pretty much why I have no faith in you... Perseverance in the Face of Doubt... now, that's Faith... the only definition of Faith that has any meaning;

Journal of the Missouri Bar
Taking the Oath; sounds expensive; I am not inclined to like lawyers; can ask about Insurance Companies... interesting, as it indirectly alerts the jury that someone (probably the defendant) is insured; the Texas Shootout Provisions... good reading; verbal arguments are archaic... I say plead disability... an inability to meaningfully digest oral communications relative to written ones; seriously, no respect; how can we split this pie?; not enough disbarments, if you ask me... but way more than I would have expected... sorry, I read that wrong... way-way too few disbarments... way too few; legal notices... silly that they all need the same boilerplate language; partnership or Fraud... a nice consolation prize; I still maintain the law is way too complicated;

Model Aviation
Bringing Modelers Together 
Top Gun!... P6-S... surprisingly real looking; Panic Button!... that looks a good idea; the helicopter is compelling; by Popular Demand!... yes!... I will use endless exclamations, if that's what I desire to do!!!; what does it do?; a controlled harness... for all your CosPlay and/or Geek Boy needs; plan your Flight... fly your Plan; ah, the radio sending unit... fairly important for a Radio Controlled Model Airplane... you know, now that I think about it; lots of ads... but more or less as I expected... it's a monetary based hobby... good luck without a ready supply of cash; memories of my bud... that's what I am going to call Steve; it looks life size... drone size... man size; Mule Skinner!; a Family Affair!; ha!... I was looking at Meets... but this magazine is a little out of date... from 2013;

Outreach
Evangelism - Discipleship - Service
Leather Jacket and Chains!... or he will pray for you; a building to last as long as your ministry; so 'Real Men'?... not 'Real Cis Men'?; word!; screams low production values; Kill for Christ!... Thumpa-Thumpa, baby!; putting out media... everybody is doing it... maybe, it's time to do more... or less; I've got a small stack of Bibles going... I don't read them very often; sometimes (quite often), I only read the big words; showing their True Faces; Advertise!... !!!; Seek Perfection!; lots of Bibles for sale... lots; and then, there is the rest; Books, Bibles, and Games; why does God need leaders?... isn't he the leader?; gads, the tipped jeans are like Jumping the Shark... welcome to Pretence!; how does one Whisper Yell in text?; nice cross... I want it to be solid gold, though; Religion as an OS... see, not that's sort of cool... it speaks to me; do it right... or so help me, I will dunk you under the water again... an again... and again; Mystery Shopper... rating the churches... could be a project... that I won't do;

Partners
Illinois Farm Bureau
Playing Reindeer Games; sponsorship has its privileges; I'm not going online to read a magazine... not now... not ever; one month pays for it all; a breakfast sandwich by any other name ellipses; Well, they've got a way with food names... Cheese Filled Croutons ellipses... or Cubes Grilled Cheese?... you make the call; them be a Working Man's pair of overalls;

Porter
powered by NET-A-PORTER
Shorts and a sweater... golden Hair... overlooking a pond, I suppose; maybe, I know; I do believe so; what is that smell?... bananas?; lots of swimsuits, this issue... the implication bring the rich can go somewhere warm; the nose... it's not styled I'm perfection... merely imperfection; snazzy shoes; gazelle ellipses; now, that's an interesting juxtaposition... and a silly price point; money and worth are not equivalent... while looks can be deceiving; so Incredible ellipses; Popular & Successful... a list, thereof; I do like that cloth; it would be nice to be a character... compelling... but at the moment, I know not the words; yes, being removed from the media means being removed from any sense of awe... awareness of accomplishment... so, start from scratch... why need I care?; but of we (meaning I) value not the result, is the labour or effort to be admired?; remind me, again?; 'Shoppable Digital Edition!'; I like having the steps on the long side of the pool... a gradient to zero would be even better; people First!;

Proceedings 
U.S. Naval Institute
The Independent Forum of the Sea Services
The Arizona Memorial... as seen from an Aircraft Carrier?; Nailed It!; who are are enemies, now?; I do not qualify; Ia discipline required to make men dead?; I do not respect those who would lead... why follow those who do not return the favour... this, of course, is the why and wherefore if a Code of Honour... to bad they did not teach me such in school... they just taught obedience... I can only assume, owing to my teacher's own lack of honour; Unity!; one does not deploy 'Small Boats' in another's water; I would not want my vision so constrained; information gathering is not war; odd how often Social Networks are being mentioned... the fine art of fighting... at something less than a war... hostilities? Yes... open? No; kneepads... an important part of any Zombie Fighting Outfit; Metcalfe's Law... square root... by why not log?; they are catching up; and then, a day or two goes by begone I pick up the magazine, again; only one shipyard can do it?; ethics are meaningless ellipses... unless, of course, one is willing to die for the ideal; the slaves remain ungrateful; learn from whomever you can... that's what I say; great for storytelling; Saturday is Pizza Night!; from fresh to frozen... an interesting read... also, the pizza used to taste better; Anti-Torpedo Torpedo... it just rolls off the tongue; littoral... land facing... coastal; Eighty Tubes!; Germany has a modern U-boat Fleet!;

Public Citizen
Health Letter
This really is not a magazine... and likely should not be included in the survey; PPI... Proton Pump Inhibitors; eat different stuff... I think that says it all; avoid medicines... use them as a last resort... eh, it's more complicated than that... let's just say that most everything comes at a price;

Ravinia
Black Piano... White Fur; I bet they regret the name, now; I think it is a Concert Venue; three shirts and a hat; why is he do short?; I go to so many free concerts (with seats left aplenty), I can't see paying for the diversion; let's do some math; people with money... giving money... not exactly captivating reading;  and the names go on; since there is a map, maybe this is a festival program... it's a little late to be guessing, though; a festival is looking more and more promising... where are the show times?... did I miss that?; here we go!... 140 Events!... all summer long!; ten punch passes... and there's the answer to the money question;

Renew
Healthier. Happier. You.
Gorilla Girl knows best; the real trick is getting others to listen; too wealthy for your own good?... we can help; get up... setting g the bar low... real low; not so much the 101 Entry Level Course at Total Remedial; I believe this is published by a Health Care Provider... so the level is par for the course... after all, let's give them the benefit of the doubt and sag most folks are smarter than me... they didn't waste their lives reading books; Sleep is getting g good PR, these days; I tend to work mazes backwards; found one; in how many Niche Magazines has this article been published?; the way but not the means; yeah, those Muffins look good... so good, I'm raiding the freezer for baked goods;

Report To The Nations
2018 Global Study On Occupational Fraud And Abuse
ACFE
Association of Certified Fraud Examiners
OK... Just the one... it's turquoise in color... also, not sure I would call a 'Study' a 'Magazine'... but it's in the stack; lots of stats... and graphs... I like Big Data... highlights, as it were; accountants know how to cook the books, it would seem; beware The Rat!; I'm getting bored... I've got a vague feeling the same information is being visualized in as many different ways as possible; data slicing... sorry, my mind is moving on... besides, this isn't really a magazine... not really;

restaurant
development + design
Cheap uncomfortable chairs... not even the same color... the paper towels imply barbecue... Austin Style?; Fast Casual... waitressing help not needed?; well, some food is art... I'm not convinced that dish is, though; now, I'm simply convinced it's PR for Fast Food; hey, they legalized marijuana around here... I just see those beer taps as feeding an addiction... so, that's the tie-in; yes... yes... so much yes... even more sarcasm; well, I'll give those 2×4s an A for effort... but that's about all; I enjoy letting the jargon wash over me; ideally, every restaurant I ate at would be a one off... Nationwide?... no thanks; think about the photograph... think about the background; I had a brief desire to cut out the floor plan... I have no idea what o would do with it... so, I didn't... but I will not deny the momentary desire; prefabricated folksy uniqueness... I mean, it's not... but the desire is clear; nice case histories... useful... informative... for an outsider, anyhow;

Big City Rhythm & Blues
Dark Shades!... Purple Jacket!... Matching Hat!... I like the stylized Cityscape; the posters are nice; it doesn't really look like him to me; flat out art... a different type of Concert Poster; far more than a Music Magazine, it's feeling like an Art Rag; Carnival!; Kronic!; the shoes stand out... I think I've had it with the Poster Art; Ah, the Publisher & Editor works in the medium; all these musicians looking for gigs... and for you to cone to their gigs... sorry, it's not my scene, man; name Dropping 101; Advertise... and we will review you... maybe... I don't know... sometimes, I hear, it's based on what comes through the post... that catches someone's eye; a nice hat... that I would step away from in a crowd; I want to add the numbers... not 100... I do not know the locale; the jewelry sort of catches the eye; it really isn't my scene... even if I'm pretty sure I picked up this issue as a freebie at The Blues Festival... I do like The Blues Festival;

Sixtysix 
The Craft of Creativity
Astronaut Gloves!... well, probably not quite; thick paper makes a statement... I'd rather have glossy; I will be going to NeoCon, again... I'm sure that's where I got this; the endless quest for content... it's how I spend my days... and whenever sleepless, nights; logos... I liked the first bits better... didn't actually read the end bits; they look cool... but otherwise, are they better than my $10 pair?; it's not bad... it's formulaic... which tends to mean uninspired; I doubt I would care about my work... of it weren't my work; unfortunately, it seems out of place; it can't; I have become convinced the subject have paid for the PR... I have no idea if this is a reality... but if you could highlight anyone, would these be your choices?; so why am I only seeing the head?; chasing the tail... one horned creature at a time; my ego is big enough that other egos put me off;

Sport Aviation
The Spirit of Aviation
A nice head on shot... yellow cap... engine... propeller whirl... and only then do k notice the pilot... menacing; collecting ribbons... we all do it... this project is more of the same... it just happens to go by a different name; I have no love of flying; $1,000+ for headphones... I paid $30 for mine; it's in the family; making it a little more interesting; a happy grandma; it will kill you; the magazine is a good eight years old... would have never noticed... save for the movie poster; eh, too long... I'm going to guess st the ending; I believe I was wrong... too disinterested to confirm; it's call a Blow Out... or a Flame Out... look, I don't know what's it's called... but the engine is gone; I do like the head on shots... this smiling face is way less threatening; drill bits tend to drill triangular holes; death is an option;

Stanford
A Publication Of The Stanford Alumni Association
Big Ears and Bushy Eye Brows... the picture might as well be in Black & White... it probably is... I'm guessing Asian... probabt, hapa; Shocking!; we have new Art; use the energy already in place... novel; I am finding it hard to care... time of day?... or the number of magazines?... this is the third on the day... more than typicsl, I would say; the world is changing... I'm not very social... so social media isn't that big of a draw; I expect nothing from the Alumni Updates... I would have been Class of 1987... let's read those; it is surprising that I recognized no one?; I'm going to assume thosr are names of dorms; Personals... well, a Personal Service, at least; let's end with a legal disclaimer;

SMR
The Official PSA Certified Price Guide
Bucks... a Basketball Player... looks like a painting; for me, there is no raw desire; there's a whole industry... that I'm really not interested in... Though, Evel Knievel caught my eye; sexy Sexy Robin; buy my book... get a piece of my soul; those are some pricey cards; a house or a baseball card?... who chooses the card?; there are so many other things I'd rather dream about;

Smoky Mountain Living
I don't think I'd bother to keep my dogs on the leash... then again, I don't have dogs... and if they run away in the middle of the stream, they are gone... in other news, autumn is in the air; the stamps make for a nice advertisement; I want money... so, I can waste it... this is true... I kid not... it is the great joy of money, no longer having to care abouts it's flagrant waste; or a cup on a saucer... but you do it your way; they are fun... let us assume he loves what he does; and then, you suffocate them... like this... 'Eet be's da disgusting'er'... 'Savagers!'; get it?; old world craftmanship... old time values; I have been thinking about adding Red Pepper to the Poha Berry Jam I got for Christmas; sinks were the first thing that came to mind; how many pumpkins do I get?; maybe, I'll fish this summer... I say I want to get a tan... you know, work on it; they suffered so I don't have to... also, so I don't have to hear about it;

Take
New England's New Culture
An explosion of comic proportions... Blammy!; well, they tried; glamour Warriors!; I wonder what it would take to make my own sodas; sure, it looks different... sadly, it does not look interesting; it's bacon, Spock... certainly, I like the image from the blow-in subscription card; I really do not respect tattoos... or, here... it's like defining yourself by a car... really?... is that how you define yourself... besides, everyone knows body piercing is where it's at; maybe, having little interest in New England jades my interest;

Theatre Organ
Journal Of The American Theatre Organ Society 
How to describe an organ?... dozens of pedals... four rows of illuminated are buttons... four rows of keys... two flat rows, two curved rows, plus some more of key stops... and that's just the controls... backstage (three images below) are the pipes and such; I read that as 'Once a Baptist Church ellipses"; turns out, the magazine is slightly under fifteen years old... my copy; musical notes; restoration work; a little baroque; I can't say I care about the subject matter... with organs, vampires come to mind... or playing The Animals  <i>House of the Rising Sun</i> on the organ in the church of my youth... it's not a Real World concern; a Silent Movie with Original Organ Accompaniment might be fun;

Veritas
Journal Of Army Special Operations History
Four men exiting an airplane... or more likely ship... thumb up, thumb sideways, fist up, and a hand wave... perhaos, the return of prisoners; ah, Columbian Hostages; um, gangs are better at the disrespecting game; Proof-Of-Life... good stuff... I enjoyed reading <i>Soldier of Fortune</i> as a kid... my dad would buy it for me... I wonder if they still publish that... don't think I've found a copy yet for this project; he reminds me of somebody... the creator of Python?... ah, the Swordsman from The Renaissance Faire... who in turn reminds me of a childhood friend; maybe, Military Decorations should consist of gear... knives, helmets, can openers; that one little bar of black is not obscuring anyone's identity; oh, I want a Promotional Field Cap; cross contamination seems likely; yikes!; and now, I'm going to cut out my Calling Cards;

Washington 
Washington University in St. Louis
That couple... right there... they inspired me... in a lasting sort of way... what a legacy; they got money; ah, it's a medical school; but is it a chat if I don't listen?; Dance Dance Marathon!; what sionary mean... sorry, I have been advised (by the over the shoulder reader, who is present at the moment) that the word is visionary; a person could (the operative word being could) spend a lot of time with the foldout timeline; Go Red Bears!; do I like Humans?;

The Watchdog
media research center
Creating a Media Culture in America Where Truth and Liberty Flourish
Unmasked; neither side is being overly fair... but I know what side I am on; hinting the people what they want; scar or eye wrinkles... almost a charicuture of a bad guy; well, this issue is just one giant add for a book... Buy It Today!;

weightwatchers 
Post top... trail side... nudies?... nah, it must be a play on words; an active lifestyle; if I don't get credit for my sharing, I'm hardly going to give you credit for yours... but then, it's not about the sharing... as much as message received; grim determination; so, what is it, then?; almost naked... well, naked... just not showing it... it!; two insulin shot ads... so far; biking has some appeal... I want a car-free trail... and thdn, there is the storage problem; strawberry chicken looks good... I should plan lunch, soon; vegetable Burrito... the fine art of rolling your own; I like English Muffins... I need more of those in my life; Hotdogs and leftover Christmas Stuffing... that's what's for lunch; fish roll... like a stuffing... I could wrap a fillet around the leftover stuffong, for instance... if there were a filet about;

{I would classify the next as a Children's Magazine. I'm not excluding the Children's Stacks from the project. But I think they will come as an afterthought, after I put together an initial Title List. So if done, it would be as a sort of epilogue.}

World 
That man has long white arms... really long arms... three happy kids... and a dog... also, white; far more religiously oriented than I remembered... maybe it's not the same magazine from my youth; flowers, Death, & Snow!; great for homeschoolers; a trained puppet; fun cartoons... this is definitely not the same magazine I was remembering from my youth; interesting news... or trivia... I like; biased confirmed... truthfully, I was expecting to be 'moderately' surprised; cults; solving the world's problems... I'll assume; skip... skip... so easy to skip; there is a line formed by any two dots... likewise, all ideas can be held simultaneously... if one so desires;

{And Done!}