(c) Copyright Brett Paufler START: 2019-12-01 ENDED: 2020-05-31 One Line Movies Reviews (thoughts, commentary, whatever) listed in reverse order, latest first. Title Misleading Summary {Very Rarely a Secondary Summary} Commentary {Optional Notes On Improvement} # # # Marco Polo: Season One Real Names, Fake People: A Magical History I like the aesthetic. I like the naked girls. But the story is unrealistic and pointless. And there are far too many characters. Simply put, I am confused far too often. If this is where my commentary ends {which I think it shall}, I bailed around the seventh episode. The Great British Baking Show: Collection Seven Bake Off This series is wonderfully soothing. I could go off on the idiocy of a contest format. But what are you going to do? That's pretty much the show. I've seen Every Episode of Every Season... or at least, all of which I am aware. Everything Sucks: Season One As Does This Calling your series Everything Sucks is sort of begging for a bad review. Delivered. Maybe, I'm just bored and so find everything boring. I only lasted ten minutes. Godless Pointless Ten minutes in and I can't see any reason to continue. Bail. It probably would have gone a long way to show me how the corpses met their fate rather than just a lot of dead bodies, if you know what I mean. {And no, it's not good enough if that's what the show is all about (is it), as even that needs to be declared.} Saving Mr. Banks Starring Tom Hanks At the moment, it is hard for me to look past Tom Hanks the actor and see the underlying character. Playing Walt Disney is a good myth-building roll for Tom. But then, I do not care about the mythology of either Walt or Tom. Emma Thompson, on the other hand, reminded me of Elizabeth Bennet from the Colin Firth version of Pride & Prejudice. I watched this through to the end. But it would be super hard to recommend. More on point, I could not get through the first chapter of Mary Poppins. So, the Disney movie is what's keeping the franchise alive, if you ask me. White Lines Sex Then Suspense -> Suspense Then Sex It's not my genre, so I bailed after a few minutes. Oh, you're investigating a 20 Year Old Murder? I'm out. Trumbo The Commiee At One Time, Hollywood controlled its inputs so as to control its outputs... and surprise-surprise, it still does. I do not care about Trumbo nor his story. And I rather like John Wayne... to the point, I'm more inclined to watch John Wayne: The Story Of A Jerk rather this bit of outdated propaganda. I got ten minutes in before I bailed. Uncut Gems Raw Tension Artistically, I am sure the movie accomplished what it set out to do. However, it told a tale I did not wish to be told, so I hit the eject button. There really is no way for me to offer meaningful criticism or improve upon the work, as the movie is of a genre (or of a class), in which I am not interested. Case closed. Time to move on. From the bits I saw, I will concede Mr Sandler can act. Did this need to be shown? Does someone have a chip on their shoulder? It matters not. After all, if one of my chief takeaways is the realization that Mr Sandler has no small bit of skill backing up his comedic roles, it should be clear the rest of the production was a bit of a miss {to me} for reasons previously explained. "The Artist" "That Silent Movie" A high quality throwback showing that they still know how to make a Silent Movie. Good. Compelling. Sadder than I would have liked. And they missed the Tear Jerk Ending. I wonder why? Sex Education: Season Two Forty Friends in Forty Minutes Sex Positive Propaganda That Fails For Lack Of Dramatic Truth I like the sex. And for the most, I like the characters... even the ones I don't like so much, if you know what I mean. But there is no Real World Truth when it comes to The Drama, so I don't know why anyone would have much faith in its depiction of Real World Sex and/or It's Mores. Thus, it is either failed propaganda (as any propaganda so obvious in its intent must be) or it is truly enlightened anti-propaganda. Eh, in truth it is likely a simple money grab. After all, Sex Sells. That's why we're watching it. At this point, there are too many characters. A show made for everyone is a show made for no one. Anyone whose name I did not know the First Season, I do not need to know, now, during the Second Season... or better yet, for everyone new, lose one of the old. Though if you want the real dig, ask yourself how relevant a show about teenagers can be if the actors cast are (i.e. it is being being portrayed by) twenty-year-olds... and the soundtrack has been chosen so as to be nostalgic for someone as old as me. {Originaly, the progression was going to be something along the lines of: Teenagers depicted by Twenty Somethings, written by Thirty Somethings, Directed by Forty Year Olds, and targeted at Fifty Year Olds. But this is a guess. I know not the truth of the matter.} Sex Education: Season One You Want Sex? We Got Sex! Teenage Sexploitation at its finest... and I do mean finest. Plenty of T&A, risque situations, and the like. Though, at the same time, the plot lines are a bit forced. And I cannot help but notice The Ministry of Teenage Propaganda's hand in all this. For the most, good behaviour is being modelled. {Originally, I thought this was a BBC Production, but if I recall correctly, it was Netflix.} If I were involved in the project, I'd want it to be more sexy. After all, I value Eroticism far more than Political Correctness, which I consider so much tripe. Thus, I would be happy to sacrifice a bit of the later for more {much-much more} of the former. Flaked The 14th Step It's not funny... to me. I don't even know if it is trying to be funny. But I get the hint of a joke every now and again, which leads me to believe light-heartedness if not comedy was part of the intent. I was willing to watch three episodes, but the final straw was stress, personal anxiety caused by a character's continued bad actions and complete inability to do the simplest of things right. So, so long. Goodbye. I don't need the stress. I'm never going to love a character who is causing me emotional pain regardless of the reason. Since the show is set in and around Venice Beach, I would have liked a guided tour. So, like, there is romance... or at least, sex. And I would have preferred the Romantic Interest to have just gotten off the Boat/Bus with our lead swooping in to show her around as he makes his moves... for better (if we are going for a romance) or worse (if not). about Time about Two Hours The person sitting next me is (even now) balling their eyes out. But I remain unmoved. Perhaps, I love no one (not even myself) so much I would not cash it all in for another go. Oh, well. My loss. No doubt, having never lived life, I cannot miss what I never had. Or then, having lived life, I know how much more life has to offer... In truth, I really just want more Time Travel. More. Now. Again. Yes. Go on. And... 6 Underground DOA An empty Shoot 'Em Up. Don't ask me why I watched it to the end. Well, I'll tell you why. It was soothing... in a way that only a complete absence of thought can sooth. Any adherence to The Laws of Causality would be an improvement. Failing that, fewer character could help. Throw enough stories together; and in the end, one has no story at all. Django Unchained Vengeance Unleashed Fun enough. Entertaining. But hardly master storytelling. Maybe emotional-telling. But not storytelling. Then again, I enjoyed myself. Spurting blood has never been so much fun. There is a big difference between a Great Con and the Improbable Long Shot. The former requires the skill and foresight to use loaded dice, while the later simply gets lucky {rolling seven after seven after seven} and has a tendency to devolve into stupidity. The Good Place: Season Three They're Still Dead The Third Season was not as good as the first two. They were searching for content. And I was becoming bored. Also, I don't really care about the Love Affairs. I view them more as manufactured and convenient than realistic or likely. Basically, The Season was twice as long as it needed to be. I want to be told a story. But I don't want to wait for a story to be told to me. I really haven't got the time or patience for endless cliffhangers... that lead nowhere... endlessly... promising... ever promising... endlessly more... Orange County Surf School I question whether I care about plot in a movie such as this. OK. I do. If there were no plot, I would be complaining about that. But since the plot in this movie is so meaningless and I am not complaining about that, I wonder if the plot really matters in such a Teen Coming Of Age Exploitation Flick. I really want more aesthetic, more surfing, more beach bonfires, and so on. But not just those things, I want those Archetypical Scenes to Glow, to be Magical, and for the subject of the same {those scenes} to be the heart and soul of the story, its reason de existence. Dead To Me: Season One I Don't Care I am not into The Endlessly Unfolding Mystery. It just doesn't work for me. What I really want, instead, is for the story to be so complicated that it can't be told any other way, a total hurling onto the screen of information, a firehose of overlapping detail, total convolution because the chaos does not make sense any other way. Measured Revelation is the antithesis of all that. And so often (as it seems to be the case for the genre in question), the result is characters I don't care about doing things which make no sense, which is exactly what happened here. {Actually, I spent the night thinking about 3 From Hell (the next movie). And what I would want out of it (or how I would handle it differently) would be to have the main character break the fourth wall, going so far as killing the cameraman for being chronically incapable of holding the blessed thing still and/or killing extras for minor off-screen infractions. "Where's My Coffee?"} 3 From Hell B Movie Madness The cover aesthetics were not compelling enough to carry a movie otherwise devoid of plot, intrigue, dialogue, costuming, design, and on and on and. Though, I will give a shout-out for some of the early cinematographic work. Overall, it wasn't painful. It just wasn't any good... except, maybe, to those looking for a Cheapo-B Semi-Horror Light-Slasher Playtime-Psycho Murder-Mayhem Genre Piece. Whatever. I bailed after the first half hour, having seen enough. In short, it just seemed devoid of inspiration. So, a little of that (or genius of any sort) would have gone a long way. Rocketman Reginald Kenneth Dwight on Elton Hercules John This was a fairly fantastic movie, giving plenty of inside dirty, while playing snippets (and/or abridged versions) of many of Elton John's more popular hits. Elton John was the Producer. So, make of that what you will. It's as much myth-making as anything else. But it's not one-sided. It feels honest. I will not presume to be able to improve on another's heart-felt autobiography. My Friend Dahmer Before He Was Famous Browsing the stacks in the library (a good year ago), I noticed the graphic novel. It was compelling. So, we got the movie. Lock-Down commenced and unsettling movies seemed inappropriate. Then, I saw a reworked video of Talking Heads' Psycho Killer, which featured the movie. It induced feelings of nostalgia. So, we loaded up the movie. The movie did not disappoint. It was full of nostalgia. And then, things looked like they were going to turn south. So, we bailed. Captivating. Solid. But I question the overall realism. W1A: Season Three Love Is In The Air And that's all she wrote. We watched the series until the end. Good. Great. Fantastic. Changing anything to make it better would only serve to break it. So, we are at that happy place of creative ingenuity. W1A: Season Two Brilliant. Brilliant. Fabulous. There is more drama. I care what happens to certain (i.e. likeable) characters. So, success on that front. Meanwhile, the jokes keep coming. And oddly enough, we have taken to incorporating their speech patterns into our life. 'Yeah. OK. Cool.' And so forth. I will say I was surprised when the season ended. That went by quickly. And there are bits about the Cliff Hanger which I found confusing, which I believe is part of the point. But still... W1A: Season One Yeah. OK. No. What? Cool. The first episode is a one of kind work of art. The second episode lags. But the rest of the season managed to close ranks and keep it together. Its a send up of Modern Bureaucratic Corporate Culture done very well. "Of course, for a real review you'll need to bounce it upstairs and talk to Tony." Also, I feel compelled to mention the transitional photography, which is excellent... cutting edge, trendy, and artsy. At times however (especially in that second episode), it seems like we only have the one joke. I mean, the counter to this much nonsensical double-speak will always be a serious straight-talker. So, a more emphasis on the lead's Solid Old School Ways might work wonders. New Meets Old with Old prevailing after learning to bend to meet the needs of the New. That sort of thing. You know, if I wanted to make improvements... or rewrite the entire thing. Sick Note: Season One Sick Of It Not Bad. Not Good. It simply was. And after a few episodes, I'd had enough. The Death Of Stalin Irreverent History It was billed (to me) as a comedy, which it is not. The movie is light on laughs, but big on history... which it can't possibly care about too terribly much. Now, if someone knew the story (was a commie, the red), the references (hidden to me) might be loads more fun. As it was, I'm sure I missed all the inside jokes. A bit grim, but easy to recommend. Make it Better: If the desire is to make a Comedy, add more laughs. And if not, remove the light-heartedness. Or here you go. It was based on a Graphic Novel. So, make it more so... so much so, even someone as dense as I can't help but notice the aesthetic. In short, they either went too far... or not far enough. Still, it's a solid movie. Don't get me wrong. Just not a classic. After Life: Season Two A Happy Sort Of Sad Being After Season One, It's The Most Aptly Titled Series Yet When life is so beautiful, it is sad when things change. This is a solid emotionally charged series. Fun. Lively. And full of death. I can highly recommend. Middleditch & Swartz: Completely Improvised Comedy Specials Middle Of The Road: Who Needs To Rehearse I was waiting for the laugh... waiting... and waiting. It was fun, but not funny. A cute parlour trick, but hardly worthy of my time, as I am quite capable of casually linking together (or really, mostly failing to link together) nonsense on my own. Oh, in case that isn't clear, I bailed halfway through the first episode. Hail, Ceasar: A Tale Of The Christ Looking For A Plot The movie is fine. But fine is all that it is. It's aesthetics are fairly fantastic. But there is no cohesive plot... not really. There is a slight interweaving of three stories (by my count). But for the most, those stories just end... as does this review. Waco Why The interest for me in the Branch Dividians is not their downfall, but in their uprising. Why was David Karesh(?) successful? How does that all work? I may be willing to watch a Two Hour After School Special stretched to six or eight hours if I thought these questions would be answered. But I believe they explained what they could in the first episode, which was precious little. And so, that's all I watched. A.C.O.D. - Adult Child of Divorce A, C, or D... They Went For The C This is a fine middle of the road Rom Com. It really is nothing more... nor is it deserving of a longer review than this. #blackAF: Season One Black Lite A Black Family Sit Com, which focusses on a family that isn't so black as to be off-putting to all the non-black folks in the audience. At first, I viewed the show as semi-educational with a view to Black Culture. But that's the wrong attitude, as it raises the bar to unreasonable heights. Sit Coms are not made to be reasonable. And there is not a lot of overlap between education and the absence of reason. It's good... if perhaps, not overly funny. And enjoyable... once I understood the characters and accepted them for the caricatures that they are. The Art Of Racing In The Rain The Art Of Crap For Crap's Sake The movie was boring but bearable until they (the writer, director, producer, and/or whoever) decided they needed the Big Finish. But rather than doing the work of setting up the Big Finish with any degree of skill or panache, they decided to be Emotionally Manipulative. Eh, the whole movie was Emotionally Manipulative. So, that wasn't the problem. Rather, the Bad Guy was declared and handed all the cards; but their House of Cards fell apart (or so, I presume, personally, I stopped watching when it was clear we were pulling plot points from thin air) because The Bad Guy's actions were Tragically Ill-Conceived to the point of Non-Believability. So, like, a Tragically Ill-Conceived Long-Shot Plan worked at first to this viewer's utter dismay. At which point, I bailed. But, hey. What do you know? Other folks wished to persevere. So, I rejoined the action just long enough to watch The Good Guys Coming Out On Top. Whatever. Who cares? Seriously, there is only so much stupidity I can stand. And my threshold was reached. So, like, my killer one-line review would say it started boring, was slow-moving throughout, but towards the end shifted into over-the-top story-breaking stupidity. Wild Wild Country The Politics Of A Religion The Soundtrack (i.e. The Musical Accompaniment) was truly crappy, noticeably crappy, about the worst ever. I got used to it. But not before I noticed how crappy it was. I, also, did not care for the purposeful distortion of archival footage. Sorry. Not for me. The documentary was interesting enough but did not focus on what I care about. I do not know the beliefs of the group, why they revered their leader, or what anyone's day was like. I care about these things much more than an Insider's View of the Headlines of Yesterday. {I read two books (bailed on the third) regarding Bagwan (and/or Osho), which answer most of my questions. Why Bagwan? He purposefully molded himself to fit the role? Why so many believers? Because they desperately wanted to believe: i.e. they were actively searching for a leader to believe in. Or so is my belief, having read other sources.} The Good Place: Season 2 The Great Show: Season 2 This show is wonderful. It is excellent, superb. Ted Danson steals the show. He looks like he is having so much fun. Also, Janet. I like Janet... whatever she is. What's more, there's nothing to improve... well, maybe I could get hyper-critical about the Four Humans. I hardly care about them. But no. I'm happy enough. I need not give them a second thought. Besides, part of their schtick is an imperfect-humanness, which they pull off nicely. Punk's Dead: SLC Punk 2 Something Is Dead This was a genre film. But as the genre is punk and the lead character was a goth, something was amiss from the get go. Low budget. Low concept. Low effort. I enjoyed myself. But it had far more with me enjoying a Punk Movie than this being a Punk Movie Um, there was nothing terribly great about this movie, except the name. So to make it better, simply keep the name and junk everything else. Stuber Stupid It's not funny. In places, it is mildly amusing. But in the end, it is not funny. On the whole, it's not so bad that I feel like hitting the eject button. But that's about the nicest thing I can say. "The critics hated it. But it's really not all that bad. It's just not any good." And after saying all that, I can see the appeal of the premise. I understand how it got the Green Light to Go Ahead. It's not conceptually bad. Rather, it fails in the execution. It simply fails to be funny. To make it better (so, maybe I shall add this as a fourth line from here on out), I'd have the mother be shot in the opening scene, the daughter always having planned to drive the father about. But he gets a lead. She's in. And the art show doesn't matter that much, as he's already seen it all. Does that give away too much? It doesn't add a thing to the humour. But I think it would make for a much more coherent over-arcing plot. {On the other hand, my rewrite removes 'The Lead' (or Co-Lead) from the movie, which should give a good indication how little I care about their role or portrayal of that role.} Men In Black: International Black And White And Grey All Over The movie plays as though it were conceived in a boardroom. It does not offend. It offers a little something for everyone. But thereby, offers very little to everyone. The hero is a hero because that is what the script says he is. He is not heroic. The heroine offers equally as little. Please, feel free to argue the point. But she seems to have a thing for the empty hero. So, I rest my case. A "ho-hum pleasant enough but hey, let's not take any chances time" was had by all. It makes no difference if there are any more sequels. So, it's probably time for a Television Series. Cargo Bad Pick On My Part I'm not doing unhappy during the pandemic. It looked slow and low budget. But those are not necessarily killers. Well, the slow part is. Doesn't matter. I am not the target audience. Hot Rod Stupid Fun I enjoyed thoroughly. It's stupid. The jokes don't get any better (you know, as the movie progresses). But they hit with me. So, who needs them to get any better. The romance is forced. I don't buy it. And the climax was anything but. Still, a fun ride. Part of the joke is that Rod is an adult but still acts like a child. But I think this would have worked better if Rod had still been a child... say, in High School. In truth, I wouldn't be surprised if that wasn't the case on first draft (of the screenplay). Or, you know, I could easily see having even older folks playing High Schoolers and that being part of the gag. No one is trying to be realistic, here. The Good Place - Season One But Is It? Good. Fantastic. Wonderful. Sure, I'd make a few changes here and there. But all of them might make the show worse. So, I will not hazard to voice any criticisms. Though, I will say, the locale would make for a wonderful Virtual World, a nice game to play... in Holographic Surround Sound 3-D Display. Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem, and Madness - Season One Cool! Tigers! Let's Make A Documentary! I care not one whit about this sort of programming. It was the choice of others. We watched a marathon of three episodes. The season is not finished. I could care less about the rest of the season. Hunters - Season One Looking For Something I only lasted a half hour. Nothing against the series. Just, we're in the midst of a pandemic and I want lighter fare. I'm not challenging my emotional state: not no how, not no way. I Am Not Okay With This: Season One Carrie, Pretty In Pink, And The Breakfast Club, All Rolled Into One I enjoyed. As I understand it, this was based on a comic book. And it has a certain comic book feel to it. I think some of the plot points (social situations, whatever) are a bit simplistic... by which I mean, totally unrealistic. But that was never the show's intent. To improve, I would move the climax to the parking lot (or another house party) and split the earlier detention scene into two episodes, ignoring all the silliness which surrounds the thumb drive. Have I given too much away? I hope not. Overall in the story, these are minor changes. But would serve to flip the action from totally unbelievable to the realm of far more likely. It's not good art when I pull so far back from the show that I find myself sitting in front of a television screen. I most definitely want to be in the story... or if not this story, a different story. Safety Not Guaranteed A Plotline Loosely Stitched Together It's a fine enough movie, but not much more than fine. Two dimensional characters fail to achieve cohesiveness of plot, leading to ambivalence. That said, it would have made for a nice start to a story. Say, the first chapter in a Mini Series or something like that. Or in other words, the pieces are there, but Satisfaction Is Not Guaranteed... it's a strictly do it yourself proposition. Robot and Frank The Robot Has No Morals... And Neither Does Frank There are some nice ideas and fun moments here. But they try to throw two movies into one. And the writing is not that strong. There is not enough room to develop both plots. The second plot is not needed, so it is the one to kill... completely. That said, the movie (mostly meaning, the robot) was cute and fun and definitely worth the time. I got some nice ideas. I am sure I will ruminate on parts of this movie for a few days, at least. JEXI Hi-Tech Hijinx So, like, if an Intelligent Phone (think AI) fell in love with its owner, but was forced to operate within the confines of a RomCom, what might happen? Ironically, what constitutes the Good Life (or Living) was still quite hollow. I would have liked Jexi (the phone) to take on a face and have a more complete personality: in a word, to become alive and have a life of her own. Further, there was no need for this to be an either/or all-or-nothing situation. There is a happy (nay, happier) meeting in the middle. Still, great fun. I was impressed. Good Boys Trying Very Very Hard To Behave Badly This was a solid family film with something for everyone. And I mean that in a good way. I mean, it's scandalous... and not; innocent... and not; funny... and, well, it's mostly funny... or at least, light hearted. I have no great ideas on how to make this movie better. It was a solid entry in it's genre. And that was all it ever aspired to be. I probably could not make it better without making it far more raunchy. And for many, that would not make it better, but far-far worse. MidSommar LARP A Little LARP With Me I'm bailing as I do not care for the Straight Slasher Flick, which this is looking to be. Of course, calling this a Straight Flasher Flick is a total misnomer. We are talking more like Inspired Art House Slow Burn Blood Horror. But for me that is more a matter of semantics. The cinematography is inspired. It really is. There was a subtleness... um, I could have easily fluttered my fingers about... ah, that is to say, the flashback potential is very real. The surreal druggy effects were done to perfection. So, Bravo! On the other hand, it is low budget. And the first Climatic Scene was far too drawn out for my tastes. Thus, in keeping with the desire to add twists or improvements to the story, let me suggest that it be revealed at the end that this was all a LARP, with the newcomer guests role in said LARP being that they don't know they are in a LARP. The Hustle The Annoying Fat Chick Humour is tricky. So much that is funny isn't really funny. And I did not find this funny... just obnoxious. And then, since Comedies hardly ever have compelling plots (just a enough narrative to hang jokes off of being the norm) not much remains of the movie. And thus, we did not remain with it through a second sitting. Salvation Boulevard Save Your Time Instead I have been thinking that rather than what I have been doing in my movie reviews (whatever that has been), I should try to be more constructive and focus on either how each movie was great or what would have made it greater. For instance, this movie was a comedy of sorts, so more humour would have helped. But even beyond that, I believe a more focused story with fewer characters might have improved the cohesiveness. But really, I just didn't like it very much. I didn't hate it. I just didn't care. Or to set the review to music, 'Salvation Road is just alright with me," and so on. Cold Water Low Budget Slice of Life With A Twist "Miserable" was uttered as the credits rolled and I am inclined to agree... a little. The ride was soothingly boring. And that pretty much sums it all up. There are some nice ambient shots. How's that for faint praise. Meanwhile, the groans from the couch continue. "It's just so awful, like, a really bad movie." {Months later (so, now, during final edit) I tried to find Cold Water, again. But was unable. I do not know which version I watched. None of the posters or images I saw looked familiar.} Super The Sidekick Steals The Show This was a very delightful B-Movie. But it was never more than a B-Movie, full of all sorts of grisly death scenes and raw brutality, which I for one found highly amusing and quite funny. Death To All! Parasite The Korean Long Con The movie was interesting, but not particularly clever or well written. I mean, I can see the potential for metaphor; but then, no metaphor was developed (implicitly or explicitly), so it's just potential. Still, the plot took some interesting turns... but then, it required some unlikely juxtapositions: wealth/stupidity, poverty/cleverness, I guess those are the main ones. I don't find it Oscar worthy or even worthy of recommending to another. It simply has too much not going for it. Too many Why's. Too many puzzle pieces conveniently fitting into place... to too little effect. I question whether it would have made much difference if the climatic scene had simply been a simple cream pie throwing food fight. I doubt it. And therein, lays the unimportance of the plot, the details, and the overall structure of the story. The Trip I'm Getting Car Sick. But Otherwise, The Trip Is Enjoyable Enough The movie felt like a semi-documentary reality-show. But in the end, I do not believe it was. So, we are talking about a really low budget... really low. I liked the two comedic leads. And the best part was watching them at play, trying to one up each other. Not to great effect. But certainly, to good effect. It's Kind Of A Funny Story No It's Not. Rather, It's A Bit Sad The story was nice and high-quality, if a bit pat. But then, one wants a bit of patness in their stories, don't they? On the other hand (and in contrast to that whole high-quality tripe), the high-point was an in-movie Music Video, having almost nothing to do with the plot. Still, I enjoyed... even if I felt a bit down and out (call it depressed) as the credits rolled, a fact which I attribute more with the overall movie tone than anything else. Flypaper This Is A Bank Robbery! We Have Plenty Of Guns! It's nice when the writers are on your side. This is a Just So Story. Things happened just this way. But if they had happened slightly differently, nothing would have worked out. Still, I never once cared. The ride was fun. And really, that's all I care about and all they were going for in the first place. It was not so much funny, as slightly witty and a bit campy at times. And in the end, I could not begin to tell you why a certain someone would ever want to be on his medications. JoJo Rabbit Growing Up Nazi: The Moonlight Kingdom Years It's slightly funny; so maybe, surreal is a better descriptor. There are aspects that are quite fun. But the seriousness of the setting creeps in and overpowers the plot. Or in other words, often enough creating a comedy gets in the way of any meaningful plot development as the jokes run roughshod over logic and common sense, while rhyme and reason run for the hills. But in this instance, the jokes are mere ambiance and it is the Historical Significance of the Times which not so much steals as defines the show. Hackers All Your Networks Are Belong To Us The Nineties Style can be painful. And the idea that kids rule the world is ill-conceived, short-sighted, and simply wrong. But the film wasn't trying to be accurate; rather, to allow one to become an electronic hero through visceral means. The movie was interesting enough, boring enough, and dated enough. So, I don't think it is going to get that much play in the future... unless it percolates to the top for some cult reason... or becomes historically important. Finally, I like Matthew Lillard's character enough to look up the actor's name. On the other hand, his character (Cereal Killer) was of little consequence. The goodwill comes from Matthew's role as the lead in SLC Punk... a movie which has more cult appeal, going from my memory, at least. It has been a long time. Charlotte's Web The Pig Dies I got roped into this. I loved Charlotte's Web (the book) as a child. This was mentioned. But I could not remember having ever seen the movie. I mean, I must have. But even now, I still can't remember. Anyway, it is a slow moving children's story. There are only a few major plot points. So, it is unsurprising the movie was terminated after the first viewing. Hey, thumbs up for kids. I'm not a kid... nor am I trying to target that audience. Taxi Driver At One Time This Was Edgy There Is No Plot. But There Is Death. So, It's Kind Of Like Life. As with many of these older movies, it moved fairly slowly. Even the end, when things start to move fairly quickly, that is just a temporary thing. And then, things move slowly, once again, just as soon as they possibly can. It's technically solid. But I could not tell you why the pieces have been put together as they have. Who even is this guy? He's certainly not Every Man. Doesn't act much like a Vietnam Vet. And in truth, comes off as a Moron on a fairly regular basis. So in other words, he's the Forest Gump of Rebels Without A Cause. Shane meets The Naked City. Like Water For Chocolate Like, I'm Not Watching This Movie Again Long ago, I read the book. I'm sorry, but I never thought much of it. As I recall, it's a sort of Non-Fantastical Fairy Tale, if that makes any sense. It's not of this world. But not obviously enough of another for me to find it interesting. Anyhow, I am sure after reading the book, a fan of the movie suggested we watch. And just now, another used similar logic to induce me to watch the movie again, as I could not definitively say I had watched it before. Well, I have. And I'm not watching it again. The King Of Comedy Not Duke, Not Prince, Not Earl A slow start led to a satisfying climax, lasting maybe a half hour. In other words, the movie ages reasonably well. The plot-line follows that of Joker (or more accurately, vice a versa), which is why this was in the line-up. Similar, but not the same, even if both include a fair bit of ambiguity. After all, are we to believe cameras which have lied to us once before? "Oh, that was a lie." But how am I to know the revealed truth is not another lie (or at least, contains a lie), as well? The Feed - Season 1 Live By Technology, Die By Technology I could bail after the first episode. I must admit at first I was a bit... um, jealous, as the topics hit close to the world in which Kevin Stillwater exists. But it turns out, the fictional creation The Feed presents seems (to me, at this juncture, after the first episode) to be much more simplistic than I have already encountered for very much the same thing. Full On Augmented Reality is not an addition to Reality, it is its own Reality. Deal. Also, the show is starting to revolve around a mystery (and not the thinly painted future world) and I care not about the mystery. I care about the fictional construct, the world in which the mystery is purported to exist. Joker You've Got To Be Kidding Stunning! Marvellous! Great Characters! Great Story! Great Plot! Even the decor, cinematography, and music were outstanding. It truly deserved every Oscar it got. Did it get Oscars? It should have. Fight The Power! Anger Management Adam Sandler Does What Adam Sandler Does With A Little Help From His Friends Good. Solid. Funny. I'd add exclamation marks, but I did the write-up for Joker first; and as such, I am Exclamation Marked Out. In the end, this was everything I want out of a RomCom. Hmm. That's what I said last time. Maybe, I just like RomComs. Well, I do if they are done right. 12 Monkeys - Season One - Unmake History A Time Travel Caper With A Fatal Flaw So, here's the flaw. They are using clues that filtered down through an undesirable future. But in the desirable past they are working towards, these clues would not even exist. As such, they are better off flying blind. At the fourth episode, I would say there is not much point in finishing the series. I have the flavour. I don't care for the added story lines. Fantastic Beasts - The Crimes Of Grindelwald Special Effects... Yeah, That's Pretty Much It I find myself increasingly bored by this sort of visual spectacular, as the imagery is empty. I liken it as walking down a street, window shopping. Sure, the displays are nice. But there is no plot... or the plot is so self-contrived as to be meaningless. It's a battle of pointing wands and casting spells... or as I like to think of it, as snapping fingers. "Oh, good snap, I do say, old chum." "Quite, I was lucky I learned the backhanded quick-fly snap during my time in India." And that sort of malarkey... not that that specific sort of malarkey makes an appearance anywhere in the film. Basically, halfway in and I'm bored, as special effects are a dime a dozen, these days. In the end, I bailed after sixty minutes. When it came time to sit and watch something, I'd forgotten this was already in the player and was looking forward to something else. I Give It A Year Based On The Included Previews, I Give It Fifteen Minutes But it turned out to be a fantastic Rom-Com. Basically, everything I want out of the genre: funny, nice background details, and a meaningful plot that resolves satisfactorily. The leading men seem hollow. But then, take away their pretty faces and I question the worth of the women. Still, that's over-analysing things. I laughed. I lusted. I was suitable Rom-Com'd. Force Majeure A Vacation From Hell... Spent With Those You Love I felt a sarcastic slow-clap was appropriate as the credits rolled. It's a fine slice of life film, but little else. Hardly the dark comedy it was billed as. But fine overall. Others said it was 'OK.' In other words, it doesn't get better and leads nowhere. Good Omens Better Than Bad Omens The series of six episodes was maybe an episode or two longer than it needed to be. I grew bored toward the middle... and the jokes certainly trailed off after a strong start. But overall, the series was a delight. I spent much of the later half pretending I had a role in its creation, which (for me, from me) is the highest praise there is. Good Job! As to any overarching theme or feel about the series, it is a pleasing retake on the interplay of Angels & Demons, the whys and wherefores, not to be taken overly seriously... but one will. The Dead Don't Die The Only Thing Slower Than The Dead Is The Development Of This Movie I'm pretty sure the Mission Statement was something along the lines of "Let's make a really crappy low budget movie with just enough redeeming value some folks will think it's artsy." Actually, that's a bit much. The actors act (convincingly, I might add) as if they are stilted and don't know how to act. It's a weird effect. But in the end, it is not a movie I could recommend or watch again. But then, there is a drunken first time for everything. It has Cult Movie written all over it. But it really isn't that good... or bad. It just is. And then, isn't. Still, look at that word count. Look at it. The Expanse - Season 1 SFX (the magazine) had a blurb on an art book, which relating to the series and that looked interesting. So, I thought I'd check it out. I already had (seen the series), so I bailed quickly. I will not be searching for Season 2. Though, the art book is still in the running. {Right before The Vid hit, when Lock-Down looked likely, someone dropped off a Five Book Set of The Expanse (to the free stack) at the library and I scooped it up. I never read them... or even paged through. But the lot (I presume, as they disappeared quite quickly) was soon nabbed by another when I left them atop the Recycle Bins.} Crazy Rich Asians They're Crazy. They're Rich. They're Asians. The Effective Prince of Singapore Marries a Commoner I'm sure I could have lived with a bit more T&A. But the wild (read, decadent) ride was enjoyable. And I had tears in my eye at the end. So, there's always that. T, A, and Tears! How much better can it get? After Life His Wife Died, So Game Over This was a very satisfying Emotional Drama Fest. Well, that's probably a pretty crappy description. It's a slice of life (about death and loss) that just works. Not as funny as I would like. But it makes up for that with a solid plot, acting, and all the rest. The Marvelous Mrs Maisel: Season Three Drunk Unfunny Feminist Loud Mouth Continues Her Highly Successful Comedic Drama I was enjoying. But this is getting vetoed by another... slowly swept under the carpet and ignored. Perhaps, I will watch on my own. Das Boat Stress Filled Submarine Warfare I'd say the most interesting part of it all was my willingness to root for 'The Bad Guy'. I am not pleased by the movie's ending. But I'd have to give it Five Stars, nonetheless. So, here they are * * * * *. Well worth my time... even if I want to start thinking about it in terms of a Space Epic. World War II In Color (Episode 1/1) Colourized Footage of the Old Newreels, Now With 20/20 Hindsight If one wanted to learn, this would be a painless way to go. Many of the rationales given were trite. It's hardly an in-depth look at the political motivations. The Hateful Eight A Boring Uninspired Western I'd bail. At least two other entries supersede the viewing of the end of this meaningless tale of unlikely events. Meaning, I could care less about it from head to toe. Interest has not been sparked. And then, I come back, watch the end, and can only say it picked up a little... maybe a bit more than a little... eh, if you get to the halfway mark, I'd say finish it. Killing Eve The Brits Need An American To Solve Their Crime Sprees A typical procedural that lacks all knowledge of procedure. Oh, too harsh? Fine. The Disjointed Good Girl Lead is portrayed admirably by disjointed acting... you know, assuming that was what they were going for. On the other hand, I am enjoying the Bad Girl, who is deliberately disjointed and thoroughly fun to watch. So, they have half of a show, here... maybe a third. And then, it gets even more idiotic toward the end. "Hey! I know how we can twist this thing up! We can remove all sense and logic from the plot!" Gads! Horrible! The Ballad of Buster Scruggs Twilight Zone Meets The Wild West An uneven collection of Western Short Stories. The title story (aka The Ballad of Buster Scruggs) was simply amazing... awe inspiring... fantabulous. The remaining stories never came close to repeating this initial glory. And for the most, I was bored... or if not bored, impatient and eager for the story to move on. The Two Popes One Pope, Two Pope, Three Popes More Um, I thought this was a comedy. And since it didn't look very funny, I was reluctant to watch. Turns out it's a drama... and a very good drama at that. For the one liner, let us call this Subtle Pro-Catholic Redemption. But I must admit, the Ritual really turns me off. I read it as oppression. The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Second Best Is Not Good Enough Not the same movie, just an Idiotic Hollywood Sequel. Bail. Charlie Says See The Inner Workings Of A Cult From The Safety Of Your Own Living Room Maybe, it is best to not always do what Charlie Says. The first half of the movie was the positive side of the cult, why Charlie was mesmerizing... to some degree. The second half (or last third) brought nothing to the table, for me. I would say, I think the film is/was going for some sort of Women's Lib Agenda. I can see it becoming part of the cannon for Women Studies (or Domestic Abuse) Classes. Alita Battle Angel Fighting Cyborg Robots Fight Other Fighting Cyborg Robots Great Special Effects! Too bad the movie was boring. And why was it boring, you may ask? Well, it's because the world was not thought out. It has far too many internal contradictions. On the other hand, I did enjoy the Manga Like aesthetic. Murder Mystery A By The Numbers Murder Mystery With Jokes I have come to appreciate Adam Sandler. And he seems to pair-up fairly well with Jennifer Aniston. Rather than sipping on champagne or fine wine, we are talking about the entertainment equivalent of a cold brew complete with a nice sudsy head. Night At The Roxbury They Got The Moves If we assume this movie was made in the 90s, it has aged well. I mean, what more do you want from a Comedy about Nightclubs than a few cheesy pick up lines, an endless string of fashionable dressed extras, and loads of bad dancing? The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel Why Not Retire At An Old Rundown Hotel In India? A few feel good intersecting story lines... with all of them drawn so thin, I care about none of them. I think I would have preferred following one storyline and only meeting the others at the intersection... as side stories or little sub-quests. It's A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World Crazy Mad Crazy Stupid Madcap Chase Scene Fun There's this money, see? Eh, it makes no difference. It's racing cars and stupid slapstick comedy from beginning to end. And I for one am as surprised as anyone how well it has aged. Stupid never goes out of style. Fleabag Season 2 A Sexual Addict Tries Hard Not To Behave Badly I found the First Season more pleasing. Perhaps, because I expected nothing out of it. There is a romantic interest. I would have been happier (more artistically pleased and/or impressed) if this had been imagined {worked as a fantasy daydream}. Furthermore, the wrong person is said goodbye to. It should have been they who had already left. And no, I don't think I've ruined this for anyone. If so, sorry. But you've got to admit, those statements are pretty freakin' vague... and even my AI Friends will have no clear conception of what I just said. Game of Thrones: Season 8 The Overrated Talk Of Last Season, Now On DVD In the end, it's crappy storytelling. Not so much a crappy story, as crappy storytelling: indeterminate time jumps, misleading action shots, and missing plot points, which leave character motivation a total and complete mystery. I mean, it's easy getting on the bandwagon to kick this show. But then, there is a reason it is being kicked. In the end, it chokes on its own dramatic excess. Fleabag Season 1 If You're A Slut And You Know It, Go Get Laid. It's hard to drown sadness in sex. And pathetic isn't very funny. But it is all different enough (I don't quite want to call it edgy) that it captivated my interest. And I will be watching Season 2, soon enough. THE END OF THE FxxxING WORLD: Season 1 & 2 A Non-Psychopath Spends Time with a Non-Emotionally-Stunted Girl The truncated emotional range is fun to watch, as is their fast paced flight into villainy. Though, I cannot say I ever once cared about the character's survival. It never was too realistic. The Art Of Self-Defense Mild Mannered Accountant Fights Back A dark comedy that's fun and reasonably witty, not laugh out loud funny, but enjoyable. In the end, it is highly reminiscent of Fight Club. The Laundromat Empty Propaganda... Full of Style In truth, its a pretty Go Nowhere Movie... to the point, they pretty much bail at the end. But the ride is fun enough. Oh, and rich people got that way by not being nice... you know, just in case you didn't know that already. The Lego Movie A Cookie Cutter Comedy This movie has an amazing finish... and an amazing theme song. It is simply... Amazing! Everything Is! Actually, sort of low key fun... nothing all that Amazing... except for the ending... and that song. It was simply... Amazing! Now if you'll excuse me, I have the need to listen to something a little darker. The Witcher: Season One {I'm guessing} High Fantasy with a Whisper-Yell Aesthetic I accept a lot of mediocrity in my own writing. If that's what it takes to get it out, then that's what it takes to get it out. Apparently, I am willing to accept a lot of mediocrity in my fantasy fiction, as well. Because if this is the crap I have to put up with, then I guess, this is the crap I have to put up with. The Men Who Stare At Goats They Have Psychic Powers. They Do Not Have Psychic Powers. I had been avoiding this movie, which is to say, I'd never seen nor did I have any intention of ever seeing it. But it handily exceeded my expectations. Silly. Farciful. Not what I would call funny. But a nice ride... with a bit of wit here and there. R.I.P.D. Rest In Peace Department It's another catch the Supernatural Bad Guy Special Effects Spectacular. Not as funny as one might hope. Not really funny, at all. But it's clever at times. And thoroughly enjoyable. I like the alternates every bit as much as the mains. You'll know what I mean. The Irishman A Reconstructive History of the American Mafia Solid. Not awe inspiring. But solid. So, like, four stars, maybe four and a half. But it's missing that final touch of greatness... whatever that might be. The Road Warrior Fetishizing Leather in a Post Apocalyptic World Having moved on mid-movie, we may never come back. It's an oldie but a goodie that really isn't all that good. No matter your opinion, the Feral Child steals the show. Mad Max Austrailian Motor Heads Make a Movie Over the years, this movie has made millions upon millions of dollars... launching a franchise. And as such, it single handily explains why so much crap is produced. Sometimes crap is successful. Sometimes crap scratches an itch. Starsky & Hutch Seventies Cop Show Is Still Going Strong Ironically, the high profile cameos don't do it for me. In fact, they tend to rub me the wrong way. But all in all, it was a solid middle of the road movie that I enjoyed thoroughly. Anna Sexy Russian KGB Agent Kills All Comers Halfway through and I am going to guess the ending can be summarized by Treat Your People Right... or it will come back to bite you. The time shifts (let's rewind that) were done expertly. But I could have used more. Damnation Alley Civilization Has Ended! Let's Take a Road Trip! My insanely low expectations were handily exceeded... er, I mean, met. I mean, after you add Killer Cockroaches and (presumably) Sentient Tornadoes to the mix, what more do you want? Low budget fun. I did not realize how much I missed hearing women scream helplessly in the face of danger. Yesterday A Rock and Roll Superstar Wet Dream Gone Limp I like the Big Idea. Unfortunately, the idea was not backed by equally impressive production values... and from there, made the mistake of trying to be all things to all people, failing all around. So sorry. Who would have thought a Beatles song could fail to achieve an emotional response. In other news, Ed Sheeran comes out the big winner. Hey, he's almost as good as The Beatles. And from there, I could go on and on... but why bother. It was not the movie I wanted. It was not the movie I would have made. And worse of all, the best rendition of a Beatles song came just as the closing credits began to roll. I wanted/expected so much more from this movie. And therein lies the reason for my disappointment. The Color of Magic A Non-Magical Wizard Saves the Disk World The movie was not very magical. Sound cutting {i.e. insulting}? OK. Fine. I do not think this movie was very successful... nor is that very surprising as it is not deserving of success. Kapow! This is the second time I failed to reach the end of this particular movie. I want to like it, but I do not. {And from here down, it would appear I do single sentence reviews. Ah, but to be succinct and to the point, is that but a virtue of yesteryear?} Transit: Boring Foreign Thriller that I do not care about... with Subtitles! So, yay! Shazam: A Criss-Cross Super Hero Story starring Family Values. It will be Big. Very pleasing. Blue Iguana: Why him? Why her? Why in the world would anyone think that would work? The Man Who Killed Don Quixote: A metaphorical allegory of a farce in search of anything remotely funny or insightful that should have never gotten the green light.